Will He Come Back After The Silent Treatment?

If you had an argument with your boyfriend and you want to know if he will come back after the silent treatment, you need to ask yourself who’s giving the silent treatment to who and why?

Are you giving him the silent treatment because he keeps reaching out and confusing you or did he lose feelings and is the one ignoring you and driving you crazy?

If you’re just having an argument, you can rest assured that the guy will come back after a day or two of ignoring you. A couple of days are usually enough for most men to calm down, stop hogging power, and realize they love their partners.

But if the silence treatment has lasted for days or longer, then what you’re dealing with is probably much more than a meaningless power struggle. You got caught up in a breakup and must treat it as such because another few days or even weeks of silence treatment probably won’t be enough for your ex-boyfriend to experience separation anxiety and feel scared of losing you.

Dumpers typically don’t get separation anxiety. They have lost feelings and attraction and want to avoid thinking about their ex and interacting with him or her. Interactions with the dumpee make them feel pressured and uncomfortable and force them to run away from their ex.

So first things first, give it a couple of days to discern whether you’re dealing with a breakup or an argument. If after two days apart, your partner doesn’t respond to you or if you keep ignoring his pointless non-relationship reach-outs and he doesn’t do anything about them despite him being the one who left, then you need to stop waiting for him to come back.

He’s not your boyfriend but rather your ex-boyfriend. And ex-boyfriends (dumpers) don’t give their exes silent treatments. They stay away from dumpees because they have no romantic feelings or expectations of their exes.

They’re okay with the way things turned out and don’t care if their ex dates someone else and moves on.

Therefore, make sure you fully understand whether you or your partner/ex-partner are giving each other the silent treatment or are staying away from each other due to a lack of care and love.

Figure out what’s going on by remembering that the purpose of the silent treatment is to hurt your partner for hurting you and make your partner do something to make you feel better. On the other hand, silence after the breakup is dumpees’ and dumpers’ way of dealing with unwanted emotions when they don’t see eye to eye.

If you’re going through a breakup (not just something temporary), you should consider updating your interpretation of your or your ex’s behavior from the silent treatment to ignoring or following no contact. That way, you’ll have a better understanding of breakup dynamics and what your options are.

After a breakup, there are only two explanations.

1. If you’re reaching out and your ex isn’t responding to you, you’re being ignored because your ex doesn’t care anymore.
2. If you’re minding your own business, trying to heal, and waiting for your ex to come back, you’re in no contact.

Don’t confuse the silent treatment with no contact because they’re completely different things. No contact gives your ex what he wants (lots of space) whereas the silent treatment attempts to punish your boyfriend for hurting you and get him to do something.

As a dumpee, you must always do no contact.

You can do it simply by ceasing contact between you and your ex and focusing on yourself. This sounds easier than it is, of course, but no contact is essential. It allows you to heal and your ex to explore his post-breakup life.

You don’t need to inform your ex that you’ll be staying away from him. Telling him you’re about to start no contact could make him think you’re looking for attention and that you want him to pity you and stop you from distancing yourself.

What you should do instead is start no contact without saying or doing anything. Fall off the radar without notifying your ex and let your ex enjoy his space and quiet. Your ex will initially appreciate the space. But as time goes on, your ex could cool off, see things from a healthier perspective, and reach out to breadcrumb you or get back together.

We don’t know what will happen. But until something happens, you must persevere, leave your ex alone, retain your value, and focus on detaching and moving on.

In this post, we answer the question of whether he will come back after the silent treatment. We discuss what silent treatment is during and after a relationship and how you can deal with it.

Will my boyfriend come back after the silent treatment?

Your boyfriend (not ex-boyfriend) will likely come back if you give him the silent treatment and remain in a position of power. This is because the silent treatment will make him insecure, anxious, fearful, and uncertain about your love and commitment and trigger nostalgia.

It will probably hurt him so much that he acts on the fear of the relationship ending and chases your validation. Your boyfriend could do this by texting, calling, or speaking with you in person or through someone else.

How your ex gets back in touch with you doesn’t matter. The point is that you can expect him to express interest in talking about problems and fixing them. Whether he actually fixes them is anyone’s guess, but if you want him back, you should stop giving him the silent treatment and just talk to him.

Tell him that ignoring him was wrong but that you hoped he would realize that saying or doing the things he said or did was also wrong and that you’re prepared to work on things together if he’s prepared to listen and do the same.

On the other hand, if your boyfriend was the one who’s been giving you the silent treatment, then you need to know that you’ve been giving him power and control over your life and emotions and that you need to back off.

As stated before, give him a couple of days to lose power and come to his senses and he’ll contact you if he sees that you respect yourself and don’t need him as much as he thinks.

Withdrawing your attention from him is the best thing you can do because if he’s ignoring you to manipulate you into saying or doing something, it will make him doubt his place in your heart when you don’t do what he expects you to do.

That will, in turn, trigger his aforementioned fears and separation anxiety and cause him to chase you.

However, if the guy doesn’t want to be with you anymore, then at least you’ll give him the space he asked for and allow both of you to heal.

As someone who keeps getting ignored and hurt, you shouldn’t ignore and hurt the person in question back. That would be manipulative and vengeful.

Your goal should be to handle your emotions maturely, exude self-confidence, and leave the person who hurts you alone. He clearly doesn’t care about your feelings and well-being, so you shouldn’t care about his either.

You should be better than him by remaining in control of your emotions and reactions that would ruin your karma and others’ perception of you.

You may not care about what people think about you, and that’s probably good to some degree, but you will care about it later when you’ve calmed down and realized what you’ve done. If you don’t feel bad about it ever, however, then there’s a decent chance you’ll make the same mistakes in your next relationship with whomever that may be.

So if your boyfriend ignores you because of some argument and you’re wondering if he will come back after the silent treatment, he probably will. He will likely come back, especially if this isn’t the first time he gave you the silent treatment.

His return to a big extent depends on whether you stop raising his ego and reacting to pain by making him feel more pain. If you constantly reach out to him, beg him to talk to you, and make him feel validated, you’ll take away his reasons for responding or contacting you.

You’ll help him see that he can get attention and care from you by treating you badly (the way you allow him to treat you). That could lead to a loss of respect and complete detachment.

You’ve got to remember that you mustn’t empower him or try to hurt him. Desperation doesn’t achieve anything positive. So reorient yourself and stop putting yourself in situations where he can ignore you and get away with free ego boosts.

Ego and pride make guys feel victimized and ruin their respect for their partners. They also prevent them from apologizing or accepting apologies. Make sure to avoid making the guy in question feel more important than he actually is.

Don’t show him that you’re waiting for him to return to you. If he’s still your partner, he’ll come back when you back off and appear to be doing well without him. You won’t have to do anything other than focus on yourself and be happy.

In the meantime, remember that your behavior, space, and time are the most important factors in resuming a relationship that is struggling because of an argument or disagreement.

With that said, here’s how you can tell if your boyfriend will come back after the silent treatment.

Will my ex-boyfriend come back after a silent treatment?

If your ex reached out and you gave your ex the silent treatment, it’s unlikely that your ex will come back because of it. Ignoring him probably won’t make him feel rejected enough to increase his feelings for you and want to discuss relationship matters with you.

This is especially true if your ex thinks your attitude sucks and finds ignoring behavior disrespectful.

As a dumpee, your ability to communicate emotions is extremely important. How you express yourself is key as it shows how mature and valuable you are as a romantic partner.

That means you should handle the breakup as rationally as you can. Failure to do so could result in anger and resentment and cause additional complications for you.

So no matter how difficult this has been for you, keep in mind that you won’t get your ex back by treating your ex poorly or by being too nice to your ex and giving your ex more attention than he deserves.

Healthy relationships need to be balanced. If respect, attention, and affection are imbalanced (meaning that someone does much more than the other), he or she stops the other person from wanting or needing to invest back. That can then lead to significant power struggles and behaviors that having too much power incites.

Power can bring out both the best and worst in people. How individuals handle power can reveal aspects of their character that may not have been evident before. Some people use their power for good and show integrity, compassion, and fairness, while others may become corrupt, abusive, or unjust.

This often depends on their upbringing and the morals their parents and mentors instilled in them.

The point I’m trying to make is that ignoring is wrong in most cases. This includes situations where your ex sends you pointless messages and affects you negatively.

It’s always best to respond and show you’re capable of communicating even though you feel emotional. This doesn’t mean you need to communicate with your ex. All it means is that you should tell your ex you’re not open to communication at this point or ever and that he needs to leave you alone.

That is the emotionally intelligent way of handling people you don’t want in your life as anything less than romantic partners.

Remember that an ex who cheated on you doesn’t deserve to be your texting buddy. But he does deserve an acknowledgment or a warning that he’s not welcome in your life anymore and that you’ll block him if he keeps reaching out after you’ve asked him not to.

Yes, it’s always easier to block or ignore. But if you handle difficulties like that, you’ll block anyone and anything you don’t have the skills, patience, and maturity to handle. You’ll develop a negative or perhaps even toxic way of handling differences and problems.

It’s important to prioritize your own safety and well-being, especially if you’ve been threatened by an abusive ex. But, it’s also important to remember that not all exes who fall under the category of “uncaring” pose a threat to your safety and growth.

If you are feeling threatened or in danger, it’s important to reach out to the proper authorities for assistance and yes, even ignore or block your ex.

So bear in mind that your ex-boyfriend might come back after no contact rather than after the silent treatment. He could ponder about his decisions and feelings for you and realize that leaving you was a mistake.

For that to happen though, he’d need lots of time to think and perhaps even encounter some negative predicament that would lower his ego, self-esteem, and pride and increase his anxiety and desire for intimacy and devotion.

You obviously can’t make him realize these things on your own. But you can stay away from him, present yourself in a confident light, and let him fail and reflect when it’s finally time for him to learn a lesson or two.

No one, including your ex, can predict whether your ex will return during the no contact period. That’s why you need to act as if you’ll never hear from your ex.

Acting that way includes:

• being positive and happy
• pursuing new hobbies and friendships
• focusing on self-growth
• spending time with friends and family
• distracting yourself and avoiding contact with your ex

The less interested you are in your ex and the less you need your ex to make you feel better, the bigger the chances that your ex will feel comfortable talking to you and come back for love and comfort.

Do you think boyfriends come back after the silent treatment? What about ex-boyfriends? What’s the distinction between them? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below

And if you want to talk to us about your or your ex’s post-breakup behavior, sign up for coaching with us here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.