If you’re looking for signs your ex still cares about you romantically, you’re probably not going to find them. Dumpers are normally done with the relationship the moment they say they are. They have no more feelings and expectations of the dumpee, so they don’t show that they do.
Sometimes they say confusing things and give a lot of false hope, of course, but those are just empty words they say out of guilt and pity. The thing you should pay attention to as a dumpee is whether dumpers show you that they care about you to the point where they want to be with you.
That would prove that they still love you (or started loving you again) and that they’re ready to do anything to win your love and trust back. If they are ready, you’ll see strong signs that your ex still cares about you. You won’t just see that your ex cares about your health and happiness, but that your ex wants to be close to you physically and emotionally.
Love or romantic care is about wanting to be a part of your romantic life, not just your friend. So don’t confuse care for romantic care (love). The former suggests that your ex doesn’t want to see you get hurt whereas the latter confirms that your ex wants you to invest in him/her emotionally and validate his or her feelings.
Love requires reciprocation whereas care has no or very few expectations.
If your ex merely cares about you as a person, your ex will have meaningless conversations that tell him or her how you’re coping with the breakup. Your ex will ask you how and what you’re doing and by doing so try to appease his or her guilt and continue moving on.
However, if your ex cares about you romantically, then your ex will expect you to care about him romantically too. Not being with you will make your ex hungrier for love and recognition than ever before and force your ex to keep talking to you until he or she finds a chance to reconcile with you.
Under no circumstances will a man or woman who loves you simply give up on you. Dumpees are afraid of this and dread starting no contact because of it, but that’s not how love works. When the dumper loves his or her ex, the dumper will do everything in his or her power to crawl back into the dumpee’s life.
The dumper will call and text the dumpee, plan a meetup, apologize, express feelings, appear anxious, and try to convince the dumpee to take him or her back. That’s why you shouldn’t worry much about what you should do if your ex still cares about you romantically. When your ex cares the way he or she needs to and regrets breaking up with you, your ex will take care of everything on his or her own.
You won’t even have to lift a finger because your ex will know that he/she messed up big time and that he or she will need to work hard for your forgiveness.
Your ex will have to prove that his or her relationship mentality has evolved and that he or she is ready to listen to you, do what you need, and give you your lost power back. After all, power can heal your wounds and give you a sense of control.
In this post, we’ll talk about signs your ex still cares about you. We’ll compare romantic signs to non-romantic signs and share some tips on how to handle them.
Signs your ex still cares
Although breakups oftentimes create strong unwanted emotions and sometimes even make people resentful, occasionally, dumpers still care about their ex. They may not want to get back together with their ex, but they feel responsible for helping their ex out emotionally.
Such dumpers feel guilty/bad for hurting their ex and think they need to hover around their ex and keep an eye on their ex. By lingering around, they can gauge their ex’s anxiety, try to help their ex deal with anxiety, and make themselves feel less guilty for putting their ex through so much pain.
This doesn’t mean they want their ex back but that they want to help their ex as well as themselves.
You must know how to differentiate romantic care from non-romantic care. If you think both of them mean the same thing, you could get your hopes up and suffer when your ex decides to get space from you and shows you that he or she doesn’t want to get back together.
So protect your heart by understanding that not everything your ex does is because your ex cares about you romantically. You’ll be much happier and heal much quicker if you admit to yourself that your ex wants to keep you around either to help you or to benefit from you non-romantically.
You should avoid thinking that your ex loves you otherwise you could convince yourself that your ex truly has feelings for you and that your ex is looking for a way to start a new relationship with you. Convictions like that could make you more eager to be loved and force you to do something your ex doesn’t like.
Something that ends up pushing your ex further away and making your ex less interested in you.
So how can you tell if your ex still cares as an ex or more than that? You can differentiate love from care by observing what your ex needs from you. If your ex just needs to alleviate guilt or get rid of boredom or curiosity, that obviously isn’t love. It’s something your ex needs temporarily only for himself or herself.
Your ex won’t need you anymore once he or she has obtained whatever he or she needs and found something or someone better to spend time with.
But if your ex needs you because your ex has short-term and long-term plans for you and wants you to invest emotionally in the relationship, then you can consider that a sign that your ex still cares romantically and wants you back. Anything that shows your ex wants you to reciprocate feelings is an indication that your ex has romantic expectations of you and wants to invest and be invested in.
If your ex still cares romantically, your ex won’t risk letting you detach and finding someone else. He or she will make sure that your eyes are set on him/her and that you get back together as quickly as possible. The quicker you reconcile, the less anxious your ex would feel and the happier he or she would be.
So keep in mind that someone who cares about you romantically won’t waste anyone’s time. Especially not his/hers because the man or woman will be in a hurry to stop feeling unwanted emotions and feel more positive ones.
Here are some signs your ex still cares about you romantically and non-romantically.
What to do if your ex cares about you romantically?
When your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend cares about you romantically, you don’t need to say or do anything at all. You just have to be patient and wait for your ex to express or show that he or she wants you back. The reason you need to wait is so that your ex can take the initiative and come to you for a change. You don’t want to be the one to ask your ex to ask you back.
That wouldn’t make any sense. Your ex has to willingly transfer his power back to you and reassure you that he’s committed to growing inward and working things out. He has to display the desire and willpower to do things differently next time around.
You can’t force change on your ex. Only your ex can do that by improving his mentality.
So don’t overthink things. You won’t miss the moment your ex wants you back if you focus on yourself and don’t actively look for signs your ex still cares. You’ll know when your ex is regretting things because you’ll see him trying to reconnect with you and get some things off his chest.
Things that say he loves you and regrets breaking up with you.
Rest assured that everything will work itself out when your ex wants you back. That’s because he’ll be more expressive, receptive, kinder, and vulnerable to you. The dumper will have no problems following your lead and working on rebuilding trust and everything you need from him or her.
What to do if your ex cares about you non-romantically?
If your ex cares about you non-romantically (as a friend), you should quickly create some (or a lot) of space between the two of you. Space will help you heal and show your ex that you won’t settle for less than you deserve. To get space and get your ex’s respect, tell your ex you’re not ready to be friends and that you want to focus on yourself.
Your ex will understand that you’re not ready to converse. If he/she doesn’t, be more specific. Tell your ex you don’t want to communicate and that when or if you do that you’ll let your ex know. This should get your ex to leave you alone for as long as his or her feelings are non-romantic.
Some dumpees think they need to say things like, “Contact me if you change your mind” as if their ex doesn’t know what to do if he or she has a change of heart. But by doing so, all dumpees do is prove that they’re still in love and attached and that they’ll be waiting for their ex to have an epiphany and come back to them.
Such words kill the necessity for their ex to hurry back as they allow their ex to date other people without the fear of dumpees moving on and having fun without them.
So if you think your ex cares about you as a friend or an ex, don’t baby or tolerate your ex. Your ex needs to understand the severity of the situation so that your ex can learn your worth the hard way and come back when the time is right. The time will be right when your ex experiences a self-reflecting predicament and finds a reason to improve his or her perception of you.
My ex told me he still cares about me
When the dumper tells you he or she still cares about you, you need to understand that your ex cares about you as a friend or even less than that (as an ex). Your ex merely wants to make sure you’re coping well with the breakup and that it’s morally okay for him or her to move on and perhaps even start dating someone else.
So whatever you do, don’t take what your ex says literally. It’s not a sign that your ex still cares about you romantically, but a sign that your ex feels bad and concerned. Your ex wants to support you emotionally and maybe even be your friend.
It’s hard to say what your ex wants without speaking to your ex, but it’s likely got something to do with your ex wanting to check up on you and stay in your life for a while. Once your ex stops feeling bad for you, though, your ex will likely disappear and reach out only occasionally.
You need to keep that in mind so that you don’t get strung along for age.
Did you find any signs that your ex still cares? Which ones? Post your discoveries and questions below the post.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I don’t know if you recieved my last request for a blog from you because after I sent it, it said “failed.” I would like your opinion on dumpers who miss their dumpees and their percentages of them returning to the dumpee. I made one serious mistake in the 22 years I was with her and got ghosted two years ago. She also allowed me to message her for a few days on social media and also on her phone before blocking me on each. Why she didn’t block me on the same day is a mystery to me.
Hi Will.
I don’t think I received your last response. Sometimes commenting experiences an issue. Sorry about that, Will. 🙏
Some dumpers miss their dumpees, but they don’t miss the romantic aspect of the relationship. They miss the companionship and a familiar person to spend time with. This is due to a mixture of emotions such as guilt, nostalgia, worry, and sometimes even shame. I don’t have the percentage of them coming back though. A big part of this reason is that many dumpees don’t let me know/post that they’ve gotten back with their ex. What do you mean she blocked you on the same day? You mean she blocked you after she let you message her? Maybe she gave you permission but didn’t think you’d actually do it?
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi Zan
Such a shame I didn’t get to read your articles right after my ex broke up with me. We broke up about a year ago. I made many post-breakup mistakes (keep talking to him since he kept talking to me, begging him, saying sorry to him). After some hot and cold periods, him being confused and I being super supportive to him, I decided that’s enough and went on limited contact (because we work together so no contact would not work) since 3 months ago. Since then he has been checking on me with random small talks at work such as saying hello, goodbye, talking about games and movies (it’s something we share in common), sharing his food with me sometimes. Eventhough I am very mad at him, I always tried to answer him in the most polite way and kept it short. I let him initiate and I answer. I don’t initiate conversation first anymore since the LC. I don’t feel devastated anymore but still miss him and like him. If I want him back, should I act happy and upbeat when he initiate or should I create some distance between us? It feels hard for me when I want to react positively to him but cannot due to the pain he has caused me
Hi MH.
You don’t need to act happy if you’re not happy. It will be better for you to cut him off so you can heal and also make him realize you won’t be his friend. Pretending you’re okay with him talking to you will hurt you, not him. So tell him you need some space and that you’ll let him know when/if you’re ready to speak in the future. Try to end things politely so he sees you have no hard feelings.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thanks Zan. I did what you said. But I just found out that he’s got Covid (because we work together so I know about it).He is working from home now. I don’t think it’s severe and made him hospitalized or anything. He seems doing OK as I still see him online and checking his stuffs. I wonder if I should drop a message wishing him recover soon. Or should I just ignore him and let him feel the lost? Last year when we just broke up, he also got sick and I texted him and even sent him some food. He thanked me but I don’t think it touched his heart and made him realize anything. This time I don’t want to be mean to him but I don’t want to be considered only as a friend either.
Hi MH.
Ignore him. He doesn’t deserve your wishes, nor does he want them. You’re not a bad person for leaving him alone.
Best,
Zan
Wow Zan you are so good!
And I totally agree with you that us as dumped won’t even have to lift a finger because ex will know that he messed up big time and that He will need to work hard For your forgiveness.
Always giving the best advice
Hi Linda.
Thanks for the comment! An ex will do everything in his power to win your trust, love, and loyalty back if he cares about you romantically. You just have to wait for life to give him lessons.
Best regards,
Zan