No Response To Closure Text: Reasons And Solutions

If you sent a closure text to your ex but got no response, your ex doesn’t see the pain you’re going through or doesn’t care about it. Either way, your ex feels victimized, smothered, and uncomfortable and would rather focus on himself or herself than engage in conversation with you.

The thought of speaking with you makes your ex feel uneasy, so your ex does the only thing his or her level of self-awareness (emotional maturity) allows your ex to do. Your ex ignores you and stays silent.

By doing so, your ex can keep unwanted reminders of you out of his or her mind and give attention to matters that make your ex feel positive emotions.

Pretty much anything and anyone who makes your ex feel pressured, guilty, annoyed, or disrespected is unwanted in your ex’s life. You may not have done much to bother your ex, but that’s the category your ex places you into because the breakup made your ex lose respect and triggered an overwhelming longing for space and independence.

It made your ex associate unhealthy thoughts and emotions with you and stopped your ex from seeing and acknowledging the things you did well in the relationship.

Now that the breakup happened, your ex doesn’t care about the past anymore. He or she is emotionally exhausted and needs a time-out.

If your ex feels that you want to dig up the past, your ex will think that you have certain expectations of him or her and feel overwhelmed.

And what do overwhelmed people do? If they don’t react in anger, they ignore texts and calls. By doing so, they avoid dealing with a situation they aren’t ready to deal with. In other words, they run away without taking any responsibility.

Their emotional maturity is not high enough for them to understand why their ex reached out and what their responsibilities as dumpers and human beings are. They don’t know that each and every one of us is on this planet to serve others.

If we can’t serve people, the very least we should do is not make matters worse.

And sadly, many dumpers do just that. They ignore closure texts from the person they dumped and as a result, destroy his or her remaining self-esteem. Such dumpers prioritize their uncomfortable feelings over their ex’s suffering and think they’re doing the right thing.

Some people will argue and say, “Yeah, but your self-esteem is your problem. You can’t blame others for how you feel.”

Although your emotions occur because of your interpretation of your surroundings, that isn’t to say that others can’t affect you. I’ve met some very strong people and I don’t think any of them are capable of not caring about what others say and do.

Some people have strong defense mechanisms and are good at hiding emotions, but they still get negatively influenced by the outside world. They can’t help it because humans are emotional beings.

We get attached, develop expectations, have fears, insecurities, pride, ego, and childhood problems, and can’t just forget who we are when someone does something we don’t like.

So let’s get rid of the notion that we’re solely responsible for what we think and how we feel and that uncaring exes have the right to do uncaring things.

Just like you and me, they have a moral responsibility to help the ones they’ve hurt. If they don’t see it that way or don’t realize they’ve hurt people, they’re in for a rude awakening. Sooner than later, karma will catch up to them and teach them what happens to people who aren’t mindful of others’ feelings.

Therefore, no response to a closure text is proof your ex is unable to realize how important closure is to you. It demonstrates that your ex tends to avoid difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations rather than confronting them head-on.

As your ex is right now, your ex is of no use to you. The only way your ex can help you is by staying away from you and letting you find closure on your own.

Today, we discuss what no response to closure text means.

Why did you get no response to your closure text?

When your ex ignores you, your ex’s behavior says much more about your ex than it does about you. The first thing it says is that your ex is bitter and unsympathetic and that your ex doesn’t understand how much it hurts to be ignored.

Your ex only sees how your closure text smothers, guilt-trips, and angers your ex and makes him or her want to escape the dialogue.

Because your ex lacks the empathy to put himself or herself in your shoes, your ex does what makes him or her the most comfortable. And what makes your ex comfortable are things that push you away and allow your ex to stay in control of his or her life.

Your ex would much rather stay in control of thoughts and emotions than talk to you and feel uncomfortable. He or she doesn’t know how to even temporarily put grudges and unwanted emotions aside and help you cope with the breakup blues.

Such a person is not worth your time. His or her behavior is toxic to you. But despite that, you should try to be thankful to your ex for showing you that he or she isn’t the right person for you. The right person wouldn’t refuse to help you when you need help the most.

Someone worthy of being with you would talk to you even if talking doesn’t make him or her the happiest. It may not be what he/she wants, but it’s what you need, which is supposed to take higher priority.

A high-value person would recognize that you’re struggling with the breakup and do something about your lack of understanding or acceptance of the situation.

So even though you think your ex could help you get closure, bear in mind that your ex isn’t the kind of person who helps the people he or she dumps. Your ex is the kind of person who avoids hurt dumpees due to an “every man for himself” mentality.

There’s nothing you can do to change your ex’s way of thinking. Even if you approach your ex in the most patient and respectful way you possibly can, your ex will still see your reach-out as you trying to prove or change something.

Don’t blame yourself that your ex is like that. You probably made some mistakes during or after the relationship, but that doesn’t mean your ex should abandon his or her standards of humanity and make you feel even worse than you already do.

All you asked for was closure – some kind of acknowledgment and support, so it’s not like you annoyed your ex 24/7 and refused to let go. And even if you did refuse to let go because you were in denial, your ex should have been more understanding and supportive.

What baffles me is that people who treat others poorly often consider themselves to be mature, responsible, and even caring. They genuinely think that the effort they put into the relationship in the past overshadows their post-breakup selfishness.

If you ask me, their understanding of right and wrong is totally false as they believe they have the right to be happy and free no matter what. They don’t realize their right to happiness and freedom is contingent on the pain they’ve caused their ex.

In the physical world, people could go to jail for causing bodily harm. But in the emotional world, this isn’t the case. People are free to say and do almost anything. It may be time to drop the sticks and stones cliché and be more considerate of the weight behind our words, actions, as well as inactions.

It has to start somewhere. People have to start taking ownership of situations they’re involved in.

If it were up to me, I’d create a tier of punishments for people who commit to relationships and refuse to take responsibility after they’ve abandoned them.

Anyway, here’s why you got no response to your closure text.

What should you have done instead of sending a closure text?

Instead of writing closure letters or texts, you should have tried getting closure during the breakup talk. If your ex didn’t want to give it to you, you shouldn’t have asked for it later either.

And if your ex couldn’t give it to you or did give it to you but you needed more information, then you should have texted your ex first and found out if your ex even wanted to talk about the breakup.

Sending a wall of closure text out of the blue was probably overwhelming. Most dumpers find it difficult to deal with (even those who want to help dumpees cope with breakups) because it floods them with too much information and too many questions.

You have to understand that dumpers aren’t a selfless charity. They have problems of their own and things they want to do. If they think their dumpee wants too much from them (at once), they feel pressured and may shut down.

And when they shut down, they ignore their ex’s reach-out and continue to focus on themselves.

Dumpers have a much higher chance of responding or responding politely when they see they can get something for talking about things that make them uncomfortable.

What could dumpers possibly want, you ask?

Not much. But if they see their ex is being respectful of their feelings, they can see their ex sympathizes and knows they may not want to talk about the breakup, which makes them want to talk about it more.

To put it simply, dumpers and dumpees both need to be mindful. Dumpers need to understand dumpees need answers and healing and dumpees need to respect their ex’s desire to self-prioritize and not want to stay in touch and talk about the breakup.

Moreover, dumpees can reach out to dumpers only if they know their ex will respond to their closure text. If their ex treated them poorly during or after the breakup, reaching out to talk about the reasons the relationship ended would be absurd as they’d most likely get ignored or receive a response they aren’t ready to receive.

A bad response from the dumper could make them feel rejected again and send them into depression.

So if your ex treated you terribly or expressed a lot of bitterness, don’t expect your ex to respond (politely) and give you what you need. Your ex probably isn’t in the mood to talk about your wants and needs and would rather self-prioritize.

There’s not much point in saying this now, but you should have avoided asking your ex for closure because bad responses or no responses cause more harm than not having all the answers you need.

What to do if you got no response to a closure text?

If you got a no-closure text response from your ex, you have to do what most dumpees have to do. You have to find a way to get closure from your ex without contact.

It won’t be easy to do that, but the best way to heal is to take your attention away from your ex and focus on yourself and your loved ones. Right now, you don’t really have a choice but to self-prioritize because your ex is not capable of setting negative emotions aside in order to talk about the breakup.

Your ex might want to give you closure months later after your ex has stopped feeling overwhelmed, but when that happens, you probably won’t need closure anymore. You’ll already know why the breakup occurred and will be okay with the way things are.

It’d be nice if your ex could help you process things, but since your ex is acting like you don’t exist, you must distance yourself from your ex and get closure by reflecting on things your ex said and did.

If your ex was resentful during or toward the end of the relationship, your ex disliked your behavior or presence. Your ex took you for granted and focused on the negative aspects of your personality and relationship.

Because your ex didn’t have the tools to express himself or herself in ways that could have fixed the issues, your ex got more and more bitter over time and concluded the relationship wasn’t making him or her happy.

That was when your ex initiated the breakup and broke your heart.

I can’t tell you why your breakup happened because every breakup is different. But you should be able to get to the truth by remembering how your ex acted around you and what you did to fix things.

The only people who might have a difficult time getting closure for weeks (finding out what went wrong) are the ones who got ghosted or discarded with no explanations. Such people have to admit to themselves they weren’t responsible for the breakup and that their ex failed to express unhealthy emotions and look for solutions.

Please don’t mistake closure for full recovery, though. Although your ex can help you find closure, your ex can’t help you get over him or her.

Staying in your ex’s life will only remind you that your ex still likes you as a friend and that there might be hope for getting back together in the future.

To heal, you’ll need to pull away from your ex, detach, find your purpose in life, and rediscover your worth both as a person and a romantic partner. It will take time, but if you do the things you love and surround yourself with your friends and family, you’ll soon forget that your ex didn’t respond to your closure text.

Did you get no response to a closure text during or after no contact? What were you hoping to hear from your ex? Comment below the article and we’ll get back to you shortly.

And lastly, if you want to sign up for relationship or breakup coaching, visit our coaching page for more info.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.