My Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy But I Want Her Back

If your girlfriend dumped you for another guy but you want her back, you have to understand that your girlfriend texted, flirted, and bonded with another guy behind your back. She hid her relationship from you and didn’t see anything wrong with it because she enjoyed getting to know the new guy and planned a future with him.

She completely neglected the fact that she was already in a relationship with you and that she needed to look for ways to deepen the bond with you rather than with someone else.

So before you start looking for ways to get your ex-girlfriend back from another guy, try to emotionally and rationally understand that your girlfriend cheated on you and betrayed you in the worst way possible. She showed you how she deals with temptations and various emotions.

It’s evident she didn’t value you and your commitment to the relationship, so she left you to be with someone she didn’t know very well. She only knew his best side—and that says a lot about her.

In this article, we’ll discuss what to do if your girlfriend dumped you for another guy but you still want her back.

My girlfriend left me for another guy but I want her back

If your girlfriend dumped you for another guy and you want her back, you first need to ask yourself if you want your ex-girlfriend back because she’s a great person or because she belittled you and made you want her back for validation purposes, relationship benefits, and comfort.

If it’s the latter – because she hurt you, you clearly want your ex back to mend your broken heart. You want her to fix your diminished self-worth so that you can stop hurting and feel in control of your life again.

In times like these, getting back with an ex who left you for someone else wouldn’t be the right thing to do. It would make you over-depend on your ex for validation and healing, which means that you’d drop everything for your ex. You’d pin your hopes on your ex and merely hope that she won’t get tired, bored, annoyed, or depressed again.

And that’s not advisable as your ex has already left once. She could leave again if she doesn’t work on herself and realizes she’s not happy. So think long and hard before you start contemplating getting your ex back from another guy.

I know that the best thing to ease your anxiety seems to be to get back with your ex-girlfriend, but that’s only because your ex has destroyed your self-esteem and made you happy-hormones dependent.

If she hadn’t left, you would have a completely different opinion of her. You’d probably condemn all cheating behavior and tell her you’d never be with someone who cheated on you.

Another important thing you have to understand is that most dumpers and cheaters don’t learn much from their cheating. Most of them remain as they are behavior-wise and cheat or leave again when they get an opportunity to do so.

That’s because willpower, morals, and a healthy relationship mentality take lots of time, effort, and planning to change. They don’t improve on their own out of the blue just because it’d be nice for them to improve. You’re probably hoping your ex will have some kind of epiphany, but your ex won’t have one until she’s ready.

So don’t expect your ex to develop relationship skills and moral values now that she’s having a good time with her new boyfriend. Personal growth doesn’t happen that way. It usually happens when the fun ends and the pain begins. That’s when she’ll reflect and may or may not change.

It depends on how inconvenient the situation is for her.

I know this is something you don’t want to hear if you’re still feeling hopeful about getting your ex back from her new boyfriend, but it’s the truth. Dumpers don’t improve a whole lot because they have an exhausted victim mentality.

They think that their ex is responsible for the breakup, and as a result, lack the urge to self-invest and be the people they should have been a long time ago. This is why they remain ignorant about their lackings and look for flaws in other people.

I can tell you from my own experience that I learned absolutely nothing when I left my girlfriends.

The only thing I learned was to be more patient, empathetic, and kinder. And that’s only because I felt bad for breaking their hearts and seeing them in pain.

So think long and hard about whether your cheating/monkey-branching ex can change and if she deserves another chance. If you have trouble deciding because you’re still emotionally attached to your ex, talk to your friends and family.

They’ll probably tell you that you deserve better and that you should be careful about getting back with an ex who left you for another guy.

If you ask me, I think you should wait for your emotional health and rationality to return before you make any big decisions. You should detach first and regain your strength because when you do, you’ll take your rose-tinted glasses off and see your ex for the person she is.

You’ll see the things you’re not ready to see today.

So until you recover from heartbreak and see things clearly, let the picture below remind you why your ex-girlfriend cheated on you and left you for another guy.

If it’s been months since your ex-girlfriend dumped you for another guy and she’s doing something rude like posting happy pictures with the guy and saying how happy she is to have found him, she’s being extremely inconsiderate of your feelings.

She’s happy (or appears to be happy) and is most likely not in a rebound relationship with him. A braggy ex-girlfriend is operating from her ego and probably isn’t worth your time. She just cares about herself and is going to keep doing that for a while.

Probably until she finds herself in a situation like the one you’re in right now.

But if you want your ex-girlfriend back because you were super disrespectful, selfish, and unattentive, then maybe, just maybe your relationship might be worth another chance.

I can’t decide for you, but if you think that your girlfriend left you for another guy because you neglected her badly and somehow pushed her to cheat (I don’t know how you could possibly do that), then your ex might deserve another chance.

Your job as a cheatee and a dumpee (who messed up more or as much as your ex) is to intelligently discern if your ex-girlfriend is even worth reuniting with.

To find out if she is, learn if you can:

• respect her and trust her again
• encourage her to improve her shortcomings and grow with you
• turn over a new leaf and start a new, healthier relationship with her
• devise a plan on how to deal with temptations and stressful situations in the future

Don’t chase a woman who dumped you for another guy!!

You should consider giving a cheater another chance only if she wants you back!

You should not mindlessly run after her and seek her approval when she’s still with the guy she left you for. Always remember that acting desperate won’t inspire her to come back to you. It will probably just make her feel guilty or annoy her and force her to avoid you like the plague.

So don’t chase after an ex who left you for another guy. Don’t abandon your pride and act on your heart-broken emotions just because you’re hurt and want her back. It will make you look unbelievably weak, insecure, and unattractive.

It doesn’t matter if the girl occasionally talks to you in a friendly manner and meets up with you. If she dumped you for another guy, she did it because she felt emotionally and sexually attracted to the new guy more than you and stopped seeing a future with you.

Engrave that into your brain so that you remember it whenever you feel tempted to chase after your ex.

You probably think you have nothing to lose, but, unfortunately, you have much more to lose than you realize. You have your dignity to lose as well as your perception of yourself (your self-esteem). You can’t let these things bring you down.

Your ex may be more interested in someone else, but you can’t suffer because of her impulsiveness and lack of care. You must put a limit on what you will do or allow to happen to you emotionally.

So if your girlfriend dumped you for another guy but you want her back, don’t chase the girl. Give her some room to breathe and wait for her to realize what she’s done.

You’ll know she’s had an epiphany when she admits that she:

• took you for grated
• disrespected you and betrayed you
• hid things from you and devalued you
• acted on emotions/impulses
• lacked self-control and moral values
• doesn’t deserve another chance

Don’t compete with the guy

A lot of guys think that they’re in competition with the guy their ex-girlfriend dumped them for, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. They’re not in competition because the dumpee doesn’t consider their ex-boyfriend competition. She thinks of him as just an ex – a person she was with but couldn’t settle down with or stay with.

Cheaters are usually infatuated with the new person. They can’t (and don’t want to) think about their ex-partner’s good qualities and see him fight for their love and refuse to give up. If they respected their ex-partner and considered him a dating option, they wouldn’t have cheated on him in the first place.

They would have remembered their ex’s faithfulness and communicated their doubts and problems in a mature and respectful manner.

So if your ex-girlfriend dumped you for another guy but you still want her back, don’t beg and plead with her and try to prove your worth. You have nothing to prove to her by staying in her life as a friend or someone who wants more than friendship.

Any kind of crying and reasoning is only going to prove the opposite of what you’re trying to prove, which is that you’re desperate, hurt, and not worth another chance. Desperation will make her feel uncomfortable and push her closer to the new guy.

I can say this with certainty because she’ll find you annoying and repulsive and try to distract herself by getting to know the new guy better.

Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t compete with the guy your ex-girlfriend left you for.

As little respect as your ex deserves for what she did to you, you have to respect her decision. You have to leave her and her boyfriend alone or you’ll get hurt and feel much worse. Always remember that chasing an ex-girlfriend is counterproductive and that you’ll have much better chances of impressing her and making her see your worth if you leave her alone and let her new relationship fail.

As long as she’s with the new guy, she won’t see your worth no matter what you say or accomplish in your life. She first needs to stop being limerent with the guy and see what she got herself into.

Go no contact

If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back from her new boyfriend, that doesn’t mean you should ignore your ex’s needs and try to crawl back into your ex’s heart.

You have to remember that your ex’s loyalties lie with the new person and that your ex and her new guy want to give their relationship a fair chance. They want to get through the infatuation phase (if their relationship is new) and see if they’re compatible with each other long-term.

If they are compatible, nothing you say or do will drive a wedge between them. They’ll probably join forces and push you away very quickly.

So don’t meddle with your ex’s new relationship. If you do, you could anger your ex and bring a bad reaction out of her. A reaction that gets you rejected and makes you crave her love even more.

The only thing you can do now that your ex is dating the person she left you for is to go no contact with your ex. Don’t tell your ex you won’t be contacting her anymore. Just stop reaching out and try to forget about your ex for a while. Let no contact communicate to your ex that you’ve got better things to do than wait for someone who stopped valuing you.

That may not impress your ex now that she’s with the new person, but it will show her you respect yourself and that you don’t need her to survive.

Stop checking up on her

If you frequently stalk your ex’s social media, you’ve fallen into one of the biggest post-breakup traps. You’ve become obsessed with your ex’s new partner and the information your ex feeds you on the internet.

This is something that befalls many dumpees as they feel so anxious that they feel they need to check up on their ex. They need to see what their ex is up to because analyzing their ex makes them feel at least some sense of control.

What you need is to break this obsessive pattern of checking up on your ex and getting hurt.

Remind yourself that you feel the need to check up on your ex because you’re dependent on validation and positive news.

In other words, your anxious mind is telling you to search for information on your ex so that it can give you hope and reduce anxiety.

Although hope feels amazing, bear in mind that it’s not helping you accept the situation and move on. It’s keeping you in the past and making you wait longer than you should.

Improve your shortcomings

Obviously, improving yourself after the breakup is essential for your well-being and personal growth. But it’s also very important for your ex so that if she dumps her new boyfriend and comes back that she sees you’ve grown.

Without self-improvement, your new relationship with your ex could return to the way it was be and face similar issues and challenges. That would likely cause disagreements and another separation. So to prevent the same issues from reoccurring in your next relationship, engage in some introspection.

Learn if there were things you could have done better and begin working on them immediately. If you do a lot of work on yourself, you may not even want your ex back anymore.

You may realize that you can’t forgive your ex for dumping you for another guy and that you value yourself too much to give your cheater ex another chance.

A lot of dumpees, unfortunately, think that dumpers come back because they improve themselves. But the truth is that the majority of dumpers don’t see their exes any differently.

They see them as people they were during the breakup and only later (after no contact or when they want them back) realize that their exes have grown or outgrown them.

So whatever you do, don’t flaunt your skills, improvements, and personal success to your ex now that she’s dating someone else. She won’t take the bait unless she’s emotionally ready to see you in a positive light.

You can tell she’s ready to see you in a positive light if she opens up to you, asks you a lot of questions, and says you’ve improved.

Will she leave her boyfriend and come back?

I can’t say if your ex-girlfriend will dump the guy she left you for and come back. But I can tell you that you won’t get her back from the new guy by competing with him and proving you can do better than him.

You have to understand that your ex-girlfriend’s return doesn’t depend on how convincing you can be and how much personal change you can portray. Your ex-girlfriend’s return depends mainly on the difference in quality between her current and previous relationship.

This means that if her current relationship is as good as yours was or just a little better/worse, your ex likely won’t dump the guy to go back to you. She won’t need to because she won’t see the point in doing that.

She will instead stick with what she’s got and work on it.

For your ex-girlfriend to leave her boyfriend and come crying back for forgiveness, her new relationship would have to be much worse than yours was. It would have to be so bad it causes her pain and forces her to reminisce about the good times she had with you.

That would sooner than later cause her to detach and leave her relationship.

Every relationship is different, of course, but many relationships these days fail because couples don’t have what it takes to maintain them.

They lack commitment, gratitude, and understanding of themselves and their partners, so the try their luck with someone else.

So if you want to “make” your ex-girlfriend leave her boyfriend for you, give her enough space and time to repeat her mistakes from the past. If her relationship doesn’t make her happy, she’ll break up with the guy or get broken up with and look for people (backup options) to cling to.

That’s when she could contact her exes who know their self-worth and try to meet up with them.

This tells you you must retain your worth at all costs.

She left me for another guy and now wants me back

If your girlfriend left you for another guy and wants you back, you shouldn’t accept her back on impulse. You should first ask her why she came back and pay close attention to what she says.

If she says she’s made a huge mistake and nothing else, this is just a generic response. It doesn’t tell you that she’s learned a valuable lesson and that she’s ready to work on winning your trust back.

What you want her to say after dumping you for another guy is that she acted on temptations and took you for granted. You also want her to tell you that she intends to work hard on herself to prevent history from repeating itself.

After telling you her plans to repair the trust, you need to think about what she just said and figure out if you can trust her and forget about her betrayal.

If you can, accept her back on a trial period for a couple of weeks and see how she does. If she’s committed to changing, she’ll be at your mercy throughout the whole trial and do her best to prove her worth to you.

Her pain and actions will reveal that she’s sorry for leaving you for another guy and show you that she’s prepared to put in the work that she previously didn’t want to.

But if you see her regressing to her old ways and/or turning cold on you, the girl will most likely leave you again. She’ll come back for herself to get what she’s after and leave after she’s obtained it.

So observe your ex-girlfriend’s willingness to improve and be patient with her. You don’t have to keep reminding her that she’s a cheater who’s undeserving of your love, but you should be firm with her at all times and exude high confidence and self-esteem.

A girl who comes back after dumping you for another guy needs to comprehend that she has only one chance to prove her dedication and ability to grow. If she blows that chance, she’s out for good.

Every relationship should be that strict so that couples don’t develop GIGS and take each other for granted.

Did your girlfriend dump you for another guy but you want her back as soon as possible? How do you plan on doing that? As always, let me know what you think in the comment section below.

And of course, if you’re looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click here to see our coaching plans.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.