My Ex Seems So Happy With Her Rebound

Does your ex seem happy with her rebound? Is it giving you anxiety and making you obsess about them? Try not to let them drag you down too much. What you see right now isn’t how things will be for them later.

All new (rebound) relationships start out really well. They feel like they’re on cloud 9, a match made in heaven, so they don’t experience any (or many) incompatibilities. They just see the best in each other and focus on those flawless qualities.

As they continue having fun and getting to know each other, though, they subconsciously move through the unrealistic infatuation stage of a new relationship and stop being so emotion-driven. Suddenly, they can no longer use emotions (good feelings) to ignore their differences and must actually rationally discuss what they want and don’t want in a relationship.

That’s when their personalities are put to the test and require them to communicate efficiently, demonstrate a positive attitude, exude normal self-esteem and self-control, lower their expectations, and much more.

Relationships take a lot of work.

That’s why those couples who enter into them just to feel loved, validated, and emotionally/sexually fulfilled tend to experience a lot of personality clashes later on. They lack a healthy relationship mentality and oftentimes relationship skills that would encourage them to accept their partner’s differences, lower their pride, abandon unhealthy patterns, and adapt in ways they need to.

As a result, they try to change their partner rather than their mentalities and start butting heads.

Right now, you don’t notice your ex and her new rebound having any issues at all. You probably judge their relationship from a distance (over the screen) and fear that they’re the most compatible couple in the world. You do this because you saw them posting smiling, hugging, and kissing photos on social media and think that your ex is happier with this person than she was with you.

Little do you realize that she just started dating this person and that everything is new for them. It’s normal for them to be excited and “in love.” You were too when you started dating your ex. Your ex was all you could think about.

So don’t expect them to act like a 10-year-old couple from the get-go.

The reason you assume the worst is that your self-esteem has plummeted and made you extremely self-conscious. Everything your ex does you compare to yourself and think it’s got something to do with you when in reality, your ex just does what she wants.

And right now, she wants to have a good time with her new rebound and enjoy the limerence stage. Give her a few months to stop feeling euphoric due to the new person’s romantic interest in her and she’ll revert to her usual self.

In this post, we’ll discuss why your ex seems so happy with her rebound and what your ex expects and needs from you.

My ex seems so happy with her rebound

As you know, your ex isn’t happy with her rebound because you were a bad romantic partner to her. Sure, she feels relieved from the breakup if she started dating this person right after you, but how good you were has nothing to do with her decisions and happiness.

You were in a relationship with her in the past and she doesn’t care about the past. Since she’s dating, she’s focusing fully on the present and will continue to do so for as long as she’s going through the early stages of a relationship. You can expect her to stay away from you and appear to be obsessed with her rebound.

You can expect her to say that she’s been waiting for this person her whole life and that he’s perfect for her. But no matter what she says and does, don’t take her personally. Remind yourself that her new relationship is unrelated to you and your value as a person and that she’s just doing what feels right.

Most people aren’t very sensible when they start a new (rebound) relationship. They fall head over heels in love and oftentimes fail to notice early warning signs of a bad relationship. They notice them much later when rationality returns to them and forces them to stand up for themselves.

I’m not saying your ex’s new relationship will fail for sure, but she definitely won’t be as happy as she is today. Sooner than later, her fairy tale will come to an end and she’ll have to put a lot of work in. That’s when you’ll detach a bit more and see that single life isn’t that bad at all. You get to focus just on healing and your own needs for a while.

So while you’re waiting to detach and for your ex to get through the limerence phase, tell yourself that your ex is so happy with her new rebound because she likes feeling adored and prioritized. She likes the way things are now that the relationship is hassle-free and has almost no purpose and direction.

Things are simply fun with no expectations.

When the relationship progresses and gets serious, that will change. Your ex and her rebound partner will have to join forces and get or stay on the same page. Only time will tell if they’ll make it through the get-to-know-each-other phase and make their relationship work long-term.

Don’t wait for them to break up as you could be waiting a very long time. You call their new relationship a rebound relationship, but it may not be a rebound at all. A rebound relationship is when someone still has feelings for his or her ex and can’t connect with another person yet.

Since your ex is having a great time with this new person, it’s unlikely that they’re in a rebound relationship (even if they got together the day after she broke up with you). They’re most likely in a normal relationship and will need half a year or so to somewhat get to know each other before they see if they’re compatible.

Even if they’re not compatible, they might still stay together for a while. Many couples do as they don’t want to break their commitment and connection and start anew with someone else.

Here are 6 reasons why your ex is so happy with her rebound partner.

How long will my ex’s rebound last?

If your ex is in a rebound relationship, your ex’s relationship will likely last only a few months. It will run out of juice because your ex (or her new partner) will have trouble moving on from their previous relationships and will feel they don’t understand each other and aren’t right for each other.

But if your ex’s new relationship isn’t a rebound, however, then you could be looking at years before she runs out of patience and abandons her relationship to search for something or someone better. On average, most couples break up about 2 years into their relationship as that’s when they run out of patience and strength to maintain their relationship and allow doubts to confuse them and overwhelm them.

No matter how happy your ex is with her rebound, you mustn’t wait for your ex’s rebound to end. Although she would likely come back after a rebound (would still crave your validation), she may not come back if she’s not in a rebound relationship.

She may just move on to someone else and hurt you again.

So don’t just wait for your ex to fail with this new person and realize your worth. Some dumpers take some time off from dating or just monkey-branch to someone else. They have no intention of getting back with their ex as they have a victim mentality and think poorly of their exes.

In their minds, it’s always someone else’s fault, so they never look back.

You don’t want to be with people like that anyway. They’re too stubborn and lack too much self-awareness to take responsibility when it’s their fault. You shouldn’t wait and hope that they’ll transform themselves into mature individuals. As long as their ways of thinking remain the same, they’ll remain guarded and refuse to grow in ways that are necessary for them.

What to do if your ex seems super happy with her rebound?

If your ex is happy and you’re miserable, the very first thing you must do is stop checking up on your ex and her new rebound. There’s nothing for you to learn and benefit from by stalking them online, analyzing them in person, and asking your friends about them.

The harder you try to make sense of what’s happening, the more you’ll think it’s your fault and that you’re missing out on someone great. But that’s not how things are. Your shattered self-esteem and hope for reconciliation may constantly tell you that your ex is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but don’t listen to them.

Someone who leaves you (especially for someone else) and then starts dating right away isn’t as great as you may think. Currently, you think that she is but that’s because you’re anxious and disorientated. Give it a few months to pick yourself back up and you’ll see that your ex has likely cheated and left you to be with this person.

There’s not much you can do to win an ex back after she’s lost interest and feelings. But that doesn’t mean you must pester your ex every day and try to convince her that she can have a good relationship with you. Such behavior is only going to prove the opposite as it’s going to pressure her and make her want to be with her new partner even more.

The new person will make her feel good whereas you are going to smother, irritate, and anger your ex.

So if your ex seems happy with her rebound—and that bothers you to the point where you can’t stop thinking about your ex and putting yourself down, try to be strong so that you don’t say or do something that will get you rejected and your hope for reconciliation taken away too quickly.

Now that she’s with someone new already, you’ll have to leave them completely alone and demonstrate that you can handle her dating other people. Your ex won’t come back because of it, but she will respect you for it and allow your post-breakup persona to remain intact.

The reason persona is important is that with an undamaged persona, your ex will be able to respect you. And when your ex respects you, your ex will see that you know your worth and won’t beg for attention from an ex.

The key to surviving a breakup and coping with your ex dating someone else is not to resist your ex’s decisions. You must remain as cool as a cucumber and focus on things that have nothing to do with your ex. That’s the only way your ex will notice your strength and esteem and want friendship or more.

But while your ex seems to be so happy with her new rebound, take a step back from the situation and figure out two things.

1. How can you give your ex what she needs?
2. How can you maximize your chances of leaving a good impression on your ex and recover from heartbreak?

If you give it some thought, you’ll realize that you can hit two birds with one stone. All you have to do is focus on yourself and give your ex the freedom to enjoy life and date her rebound. Doing so will make you look confident and allow you to process the breakup as fast as you can.

After that, prepare for a waiting game as your ex and her rebound will take their time. Neither of them will be in a rush to end the relationship unless they can’t connect with each other or argue a lot.

It’s much more likely that they’ll stay with each other for as long as they get along and benefit from each other.

Oh, and don’t think you can somehow ruin their relationship. If you get involved and try to split them up, your ex will protect her new relationship and push you away. She’ll do it whether you were with your ex for a year or ten years.

Her new relationship is her new priority. And it will stay that way as long as she thinks it’s worth her time.

Go no contact immediately!

How your ex perceives you and feels about you post-breakup depends on how quickly you stop interacting with your ex. The sooner you start no contact, the sooner she’ll appreciate the space you provide and the less smothered she’ll feel by you.

So don’t think that you must be her friend and remain ready to strike the moment she and her rebound experience issues. You mustn’t try to weasel your way back into your ex’s life by messaging or calling your ex when she’s a bit sad or doubtful.

Interacting with her too quickly (before her relationship is on the brink of destruction) will just show your ex you’re still around and that you’re not moving on, which will in turn make it safe for her to take her time in coming back.

You’ll impress her much more if you stay in no contact indefinitely and take your focus off her. Follow all the rules of no contact so that you’re not looking for opportunities to get back in touch with your ex and establish some kind of friendship.

Friendship will get your friend-zoned and strung along, so create some distance between the two of you by remaining committed to no contact. Learn more about dumpers and their behavior so that you understand your ex will come to you if her new relationship disappoints her and makes her want what she had in the past.

If she doesn’t want that with you despite her relationship failing, she won’t message you, period. She’ll start dating someone else, which could hurt you if you keep looking over your shoulder. So do no contact and respect yourself as well as her.

You need to do what’s best for all parties involved so that you can continue to detach and regain your emotional independence.

Comment below if you have any questions to ask or stories to share. We’ll get back to you shortly.

However, if your story is complicated and you’d prefer to talk to us directly and more quickly, feel free to reach out to us by signing up for coaching.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.