My Ex Ignores Me But Doesn’t Block Me

When your ex ignores you but doesn’t block you, this isn’t because your ex is having second thoughts about being with you and working on the relationship. Your ex is merely acting on certain beliefs and values and prefers to leave the channels of communication open.

Whether it’s for emergency purposes or some other reasons is hard to say. But it’s certain that your ex doesn’t block the people he or she dated. Not unless things aren’t improving and your ex thinks that he or she has no choice but to block them and feel free.

Typically, moral people don’t block their exes. They don’t ignore them either. But since morality consists of personal opinions and experiences and is different for everyone, some exes have specific rules on what post-breakup behavior is considered acceptable. 

Some believe that ignoring is too much whereas others believe they have the right to be happy and that they can block their ex and delete him or her from existence.

All dumpers are different in terms of what they do and don’t do after the breakup. You shouldn’t expect things to be black or white – for your ex to love you or block you. You may be reaching out and annoying your ex, but your ex would have to resent you/be fed up with you and think that the only way to be happy is to block you.

At the moment, ignoring you gives your ex just the right amount of space. It doesn’t let you into his/her life, but it doesn’t push you away completely either. It allows your ex to communicate, but only when and about things that interest your ex.

The breakup is a perfect opportunity for you to get to know your ex better.  I know you had plenty of time to do that when you were together, but you never got the chance to get to know your ex’s bad/disinterested side. The chance to get to know your ex’s worst side is now.

You need to make use of it. Do that by observing your ex’s behavior. It should tell you a lot about your ex’s ability to deal with unwanted situations and emotions. It should tell you how your ex treats people he or she fell out of love with and doesn’t need anymore.

You need to watch your ex carefully and remember that the breakup puts your ex’s morals, views, and maturity to the test. Every action or the lack thereof demonstrates your ex’s ability to handle pressure and power.

Now that your ex has power, your ex is acting on it and showing you how he or she treats people who are less powerful than him/her. Your ex is showing you that he or she is okay with ignoring exes, but not blocking them. 

This is more common than you think. Many dumpers ignore their ex instead of blocking their ex. They want some (specific) level of control over their ex. Keeping their ex unblocked lets their ex express himself or herself and makes them think they’re decent human beings.

What ignoring dumpers don’t know is that it doesn’t help their ex get closure and move forward. Sure, blocking would make their ex feel even worse (in most cases), but that doesn’t mean that ignoring is the perfect solution to dumpees’ problems.

It’s merely the lesser of two evils as it gives the dumpee a little bit of hope that the dumper would reply and treat him or her with dignity and respect.

So if your ex ignores you but doesn’t block you, it doesn’t mean that your ex is considering giving the relationship another chance. All it means is that your ex has certain values and boundaries he or she doesn’t want to cross. If your ex were to block you, your ex would likely consider himself or herself a mean person who blocks exes.

Maybe in the past, your ex got blocked by one of his or her exes and decided not to do that to others. Or perhaps your ex knows that blocking is wrong and just doesn’t want to disappear from your life.

No matter what the reason behind ignoring and not blocking is, you need to understand that your ex has lost feelings and that you shouldn’t pester your ex about it. You should work on accepting the breakup and loving yourself.

The discussion for today is “My ex ignores me but doesn’t block me.” We’ll explain why your ex is ignoring you instead of blocking you and what your plans going forward should include.

My ex ignores me but doesn’t block me

I can’t understand your ex’s behavioral patterns, morality, and beliefs without hearing your ex out and/or learning more about your ex. But perhaps you can if you analyze your ex’s pre-breakup and post-breakup behavioral patterns. You might discover that your ex never blocks exes or that your ex blocks exes only when they threaten him or her.

Keep in mind that by blocking you, your ex would forcefully shut you out of his or her life and ruin everything you had created. I’m not talking about the relationship aspect because that bit is already gone. I’m referring to friendship or acquaintanceship.

Your ex may not want to throw all of that away in case it’s possible to be friends one day.

Right now, that’s obviously out of the question. Your ex doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you, so your ex chooses to ignore you. He or she doesn’t see anything wrong with it because your ex thinks it’s the appropriate method for keeping you at a reasonable distance.

Your ex doesn’t find himself or herself responsible for helping you figure things out and let go of the relationship. Conversely, your ex thinks it’s your job to do that. You’re dealing with separation anxiety, fear, and romantic expectations, so naturally, you must be the one to fix them.

Your ex doesn’t rely on you for healing, so your ex doesn’t think you should rely on him or her either. This is your ex’s mentality because your ex doesn’t have the level of empathy it takes to sympathize with you and do what’s best for you.

At the moment, your ex is prioritizing his or her well-being and recovery. Your ex is doing that by staying away from you and doing what YOUR EX thinks is morally acceptable. Think about that for a minute. Your ex is keeping you unblocked while ignoring you because your ex thinks it’s appropriate to do that.

It’s got nothing to do with what you were like as a romantic partner. Your ex simply does what he or she thinks is right.

Sure, if you were a threat to your ex, your ex probably wouldn’t hesitate to block you. But in that case, moral values wouldn’t matter anymore because safety would have taken priority.

Don’t think of your ex’s lack of blocking as a way to get on your ex’s good side. If your ex is ignoring you, it means that your ex doesn’t like what you’re doing and how you make him or her feel. Your ex finds your behavior smothering/annoying and has decided not to entertain it.

You need to take this seriously so you don’t keep irritating your ex and getting hurt. If you annoy your ex a lot, you could eventually get blocked. It happens to many dumpees because their ex prioritizes his or her well-being over morality.

Many people do this when emotions overwhelm them. They ignore their values and do what they need to feel in control of their emotions and life. Such dumpers want to feel that they’re in charge by making their ex leave them alone. 

So if you don’t want to get blocked, stop reaching out immediately. Show your ex you’re aware of your actions and that you understand his or her wants and needs. Your ex needs to see that you respect him or her and yourself.

If you don’t respect your ex and care about yourself, your ex could treat you any way he or she wants. That means your ex could ignore you, block you, and do literally anything that hurts you. You probably don’t want that as you’ve been through enough already.

You want to recover from the separation and perhaps even get another chance with your ex.

Well, as long as you think your ex needs to give you a chance, I guarantee that you won’t be happy because you’ll continue to rely on your ex for happiness, get ignored, and push your ex away. 

To get back together with your ex and have a balanced relationship, you must understand that your ex needs to come to you. Your ex needs to learn to value you and develop feelings for you. Begging your ex for another chance won’t do that.

Instead of making your ex love you and regret ignoring you, it will make your ex feel uncomfortable and glad that he or she left you.

So if you think you need to make it up to your ex for your negligent or unfair treatment throughout the relationship, know that this isn’t the time for that. Your ex doesn’t want you to fix matters from the past. The time for fixing things is over. Now it’s time to figure out what went wrong.

Consider the relationship an exam; a test to prove your skills and abilities. Once the exam ends, you don’t get another chance to change the results. You have to accept the results and wait for an opportunity to fix things. In your case, you need to wait for your ex to realize he or she graded you unfairly.

When that happens, your ex will come to you and admit that he or she has made a huge mistake. Your ex will do everything you’ve been wanting him or her to do all this time.

Every time you reached out, you essentially showed your ex you didn’t care about his or her feelings and decisions and that you weren’t capable of accepting the breakup and moving on. 

This perception of you that you instilled into your ex’s brain wasn’t the healthiest, to say the least. It will probably take months if not years as well as quite a bit of luck to undo the damage your desperation has caused. I can’t say if your ex will ever see you the way he or she did when you were a couple.

But if you want to maximize your chances, I encourage you to stop bothering your ex. 

You shouldn’t be telling your ex that his or her perception of you is wrong and that you deserve another chance. You shouldn’t try to stop your ex from enjoying life either because if you do, your ex will probably block you and be done with you for good.

So as hard as it may be, try to accept things and let go of control. You’ll feel much better when you recover emotionally.

With that said, here’s why your ex ignores you but doesn’t block you.

What to do when your ex ignores you but doesn’t block you?

If your ex hasn’t blocked you despite reaching out and asking for time and affection, you should consider yourself lucky. You either haven’t pushed your ex a lot or your ex has above-average self-control.

Either way, you’ve been making the most common breakup mistake in the book. You’ve been begging and pleading with your ex and showing your ex that the relationship means more to you than your dignity and life outside of the relationship.

Your ex will have a hard time respecting you for that. He or she probably won’t ever respect you if you don’t regain control of your emotions and behaviors. That’s because your ex will feel in total control of your post-breakup life and feel no desire to reconnect as an equal partner.

To be equal and feel love for you, your ex has to want you about as much as you want your ex. That means your ex has to either be desperate like you or you must be collected and self-sufficient like your ex. 

Until your ex learns your value and regrets leaving you, you must work on becoming emotionally dependent. Dependence will make you look attractive whereas codependence will decrease your value and make it harder for your ex to want to be with you even if your ex comes back.

Your job as a dumpee is to stop feeling anxious, and depressed. You must improve the aspect of your character that is presented to or perceived by others. In simple terms, grow as a person and watch how you act in front of your ex.

If you get that part right, your ex will be able to see your value and benefit from being with you, provided that your ex finds the incentive for wanting to be with you.

An incentive could be anything (usually negative) that triggers your ex’s cravings and develops expectations of you. 

So if your ex ignored you a few times but hasn’t blocked you yet, know that your ex currently doesn’t feel annoyed enough to distance himself or herself from you completely. Your ex still wants to do the virtuous thing, which includes letting you reach out and say what’s on your mind.

But if you abuse this privilege and keep contacting your ex, this could change very quickly and take a turn for the worse. That’s because your ex could feel that you’re not taking his or her feelings and wants into consideration and just want what’s best for you.

My advice is to stop putting your ex in situations where he or she can ignore you. Ignoring needs to stop so your ex can feel free while you stop feeling rejected and anxious about reconciliation.

Put yourself in your ex’s shoes and ask yourself what you would want if you were your ex. Would you want your dumpee ex to keep texting and calling you and making you feel guilty or would you rather not be reminded of the breakup and the things you could have done better?

My guess is that you’d want to be left alone and process the separation. You wouldn’t need to accept the breakup and learn to let go of your ex, but you’d still need to focus on yourself and distract yourself from the breakup.

Self-distraction is necessary for dumpers to go through all the dumper stages and reflect. If they don’t get enough space and time to process the breakup and think/do what they want, they don’t improve the way they see their ex either. They tend to move on to someone else and think their ex is incompatible with them.

The moral of the story is that your ex doesn’t want you to fight for love. Love is no longer there, so your ex needs you to accept the breakup and let the broken relationship rest. By letting it rest, your ex might be able to let go of unhealthy perceptions of you and come back when he or she runs into unresolvable problems. 

Don’t take my word to heart, though. A lot needs to happen before your ex can forget your reachouts and fall back in love. Not only must your ex fail in some painful, probably self-esteem-breaking way, but your ex must also think of you as someone who can quickly make his or her problems better.

If your ex thinks that being with you can solve his or her problems and create happiness, your ex might let go of old perceptions of you and give the relationship another shot.

You need to make sure your public persona is as non-intrusive and positive as it can be. Do that by starting no contact with your ex, improving your shortcomings, and doing your best to get your ex out of your system.

Your ex won’t find you attractive if you overwhelm your ex with expectations and demands the moment your ex checks up on you.

Does your ex ignore you but not block you? Did you learn why your ex is doing that? Comment below and let us know.

However, if you’re still looking for answers and/or want to discuss your breakup situation with us, sign up for relationship/breakup coaching on this page.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.