My Ex Hates Me And Has Moved On

Breakups are incredibly difficult. They are even more difficult when your ex hates you and has moved on without you or with someone else.

It’so incredibly painful to go from being loved to being hated in matters of seconds, but unfortunately, it’s the way breakups often are. Relationships, on the other hand, are often based on a black or white—love or hatred basis with a thin line separating the two emotions.

This is why it’s possible to jump from one end to another whilst still in a relationship with a person. One moment you love him or her and the next you experience feelings of hatred.

The only problem is that a breakup is completely opposite of a relationship hence why hatred is not a good thing, nor does it show that your ex still cares. If your ex cared, he or she would show you this through acts of love and care and not by being negatively “emotionally invested” in you.

Anger, hatred, mockery, disgust, annoyance are all bad emotions. Anyone who tells you that these are signs your ex still loves you is mistaken.

These powerful and repelling emotions are signs of frustration, caused by the way the dumper perceives the dumpee.

Furthermore, signs of anger and hatred are often incited by the lack of space the dumpee is giving the dumper post-breakup. Since the dumper is suffocating from a lack of freedom, he or she naturally feels pushed back and gets angered, annoyed and frustrated.

So if you’re going to put your hope on your ex’s negative emotions and pray that your ex comes back because of them, you may as well not.

My ex hates me and has moved on

There are two ways you can handle a breakup. There’s the right and the wrong way.

The right way is when you start following the indefinite no contact right away and the wrong one is when you resort to begging and pleading.

Now, if you go with option number 2 – begging and pleading, you will likely see the worst in your ex. You will see your ex react angrily as if you ate his or her last cookie.

Perhaps that wouldn’t make your ex furious, but the point I’m trying to convey is that if your ex behaves angrily, it’s because he/she doesn’t want you around. Your ex doesn’t want want to hear about you, talk to you, see you and even smell you. He or she just wants to be left alone.

Your ex feels so incredibly empowered by the breakup emotions that he or she would kill for peace and quiet.

It’s not your fault your ex hates you, has moved on and wants you gone now. If you think it is because of something you’ve done, you’re mistaken.

There are only 2 reasons why your ex hates you after the breakup. The first reason is the breakup itself which ignited the fire – the anger in your ex and the second reason is you who keeps the fire alive by pouring oil all over it.

You may not necessarily be doing anything that causes the fire to grow after the breakup, but your presence alone is enough to make it worse. You don’t have to annoy your ex by calling him or her all the time or by showing up at his/her work to make your ex hate your guts. It’s the mere thought of you still giving the impression that you crave your ex’s time and attention.

To your ex, each message, call or even a wave is a violation of his or her post-breakup freedom.

What do I do now that my ex hates me and has moved on?

You’re probably looking for hope or some kind of a sign that your ex is pretending to be over you. You are probably turning the internet upside down in search of an answer, yet you aren’t able to come across anything that shows your ex still cares about you.

That’s because your ex likely doesn’t.

The last thing you want to do right after the breakup is to move on, but it’s definitely the first thing you should do. Since your ex lost interest in you, you must, therefore, lose interest in your ex no matter how difficult it seems.

This, of course, is easier said than done. You can start by spending loads of time with your friends and family, helping those going through difficult ordeals, and by treating yourself to something you deserve and love.

There’s no end to amazing things you can indulge in so get creative. The more you enjoy your hobbies and activities, the faster you will get over the breakup.

Dumpers show what they feel

It’s not that your ex hates you because he or she has moved on completely. It’s just that your ex doesn’t want to be reminded of you.

Your ex’s actions always speak for themselves. If your ex doesn’t want you in his or her life, your ex is probably first going to tell you indirectly.

He or she will become cold towards you and reply once in a blue moon. And if you persist once you’ve been shown to back off, your ex is going to get emotionally overwhelmed.

This is because breakup emotions, such as relief and elation are going to get intercepted, and your ex won’t like that.

You won’t just get the feeling that your ex is angry, but also that your ex hates you and has moved on without you. You could feel as if your history means nothing to your ex.

Moreover, his or her cold actions will likely hurt you and make you feel worthless as a result.

Remember that your ex will always project his or her emotions back at you whether they are good or bad.

When your ex feels disinterested and you appear interested by craving his or her attention, your ex will give you the opposite of what you expect.

Your ex will turn cold, angry and bitter and try to get rid of you in a quick, ruthless manner. Your ex could ignore you, reply shortly or even block you. There’s no telling what a disinterested person will do, but it’s definitely nothing pretty.

Since your ex lacks the knowledge as to why your ex feels the way he or she does, your ex instead relies on basic human instincts and merely reacts to emotions without any thought.

Your ex feels like he or she hates you, so he or she shows you this in an evident, straightforward manner.

What can I do if my ex hates me so much?

Whenever you deal with an angry ex or with people in general, please note that you are dealing with creatures of emotion. Remember that what others think and feel and how they react to stimuli is their responsibility, and not yours.

This implies that your ex is in charge of his or her own hatred toward you so you quite frankly, can’t and shouldn’t interfere.

Joy, anger, sadness, grief, disgust, fear are some of the main emotions people feel on a daily basis.

Most of them are reactive or situational emotions which are usually elicited by external circumstances, such as; getting a job or a flat tire, failing an exam, coping with the loss of a loved one, seeing a distasteful movie scene or being threatened.

Human emotions are strong, but not eternal. At least not unless you reinforce your beliefs by continuously putting emotions to them, or by developing some sort of fear – a phobia.

Anger is temporary

Most emotions eventually run out of steam and so will your ex’s. His or her anger will run out of power, but for that to happen, you must stop pouring oil on the fire.

In other words, you must let your angry ex that hates you be and let him or her cool off. Time is the only solution to placate an angry ex that doesn’t want to be helped.

You may feel inclined to take matters into your own hands, but you can’t help someone who is experiencing such intense emotions. The dumper can’t be reasoned with so the best thing you can do is do absolutely nothing and let him or her naturally let go of hatred.

If you instead pretend to be your ex’s psychiatrist and ask him or her not to hate you and move on, things could get worse. Yes, much worse than they are now.

Your ex’s anger and hate toward you could re-ignite and you’d be back to step 1, wondering what you did wrong.

What if my ex hates me so much he/she will never cool off?

Some dumpers never let go of anger. So if it’s been a really long time and your ex still hates you and has moved on with someone else, then consider yourself lucky. Your ex is holding on to grudges and doesn’t have the capacity to forgive.

Your ex instead holds on to hatred so much and so often that he or she essentially does more harm than good.

Anybody who hates another person does so because he or she feels victimized. If your ex hates you and has moved on in one way or another, your ex has never let go of the victim mentality.

He or she is still replaying the scenes prior to the breakup and pretending that you’re the bad guy, asking for more than love.

Don’t fight fire with fire!

Your ex may be in a powerful state, but don’t try to fight your ex once you regain your power and enter the anger stage of a breakup.

Just because you feel angry for being mistreated, lied to, cheated on, or anything immoral, don’t retaliate. If you choose to fight fire with fire, you will make your ex angry incredibly fast and get him or her to hate you more than he or she already does.

Your ex might ignore you and block you—which will coincidentally, cool you off faster than if you jumped in a pool of liquid nitrogen.

You will regret you ever initiated a power battle with your ex when you realize you can’t win anyway. That’s because the anger you’re experiencing is temporary and will likely plummet the moment your ex beats you to a pulp.

So if you choose to fight your ex in your moment of strength, heed my words and restrain from unleashing your barrage on your ex.

Release your anger on a punching bag or in some other proactive way. Don’t let it out on your ex, despite him or her treating you like dirt.

Forgive and forget

If your ex hates you and has moved on, this isn’t the worst thing in the world. Consider it an opportunity for you to find someone who can give you his or her best—and not some wishy-washy half-a**ed commitment.

It goes without saying that hatred is for the weak-minded. It’s easy to hate someone and play the blame game. It’s also easy to pretend that you don’t have any flaws and that you’re not responsible for your own actions.

Forgiving, on the other hand, takes character. It requires strength and courage, dedication, understanding, sympathy, and acceptance.

Forgiving the dumper is not easy—especially when that person has stabbed your heart, lungs, and stomach too.

Your ex hates you and has caused you more pain than you deserve. And even though your ex is not responsible for the way you feel after the breakup, he or she should have the decency to make sure you don’t suffer.

Since your ex probably didn’t stand by your side, it’s best you forgive your ex for treating your horribly and work on loving yourself.

Your ex will eventually get hit by karma. And when he or she does, you hopefully won’t be around.

You will be surprised when your ex doesn’t hate you anymore and might even say that he or she loves you.

This is what happens when people get their self-esteem destroyed. They apologize profusely and start seeking shelter in others.

Does your ex hate you and has moved on? Does he or she say mean things to you? Please leave a comment below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.