I Miss My Ex So Much – I Need Her Back

If I got a penny every time I heard someone say “I miss my ex so much, and I can’t live without her,” I would be rich by now.

I completely understand you lost someone incredibly important to you. He or she has been a part of your life for very long, and you have grown tremendously attached.

Your ex was there for you through good and bad and played an important role in your daily life.

Now that you no longer have that special person in your life, you feel like there’s a missing puzzle in your heart.

The bond you shared with your ex seemed so unique and strong.

You connected with each other like kindred spirits that were obviously meant for each other.

The feeling in your gut tells you that your ex is the one and only, and so you know you must have him or her back at all cost.

You believe missing out on this opportunity is a huge downfall of your very existence, and so you have to get a second chance with your ex.

I miss my ex so much I will do anything to get her back

You are thinking “I miss the way my ex smiles, laughs, plays with her hair. I miss the inside jokes, the connection, the chemistry, holding hands, talking late at night, phone calls, spending time together, and her very soul.”

I don’t blame you one iota for missing your ex. She did play a huge role in your life after all.

She had your attention for hours a day, so you would have to be some sort of lunatic not to miss your ex.

You and your ex share a lot of valuable moments together, perhaps from even before you became a couple.

Over time, your identities started intertwining and your souls seemingly merged into each others’.

Spending time and living with your partner does that. A couple shares the same circle of friends, same hobbies, same lifestyle, same jokes, same, same, same.

Because you’ve spent so much time with this person, you start becoming so much alike. This can either be a very good, or a very bad thing.

Needless to say, two people cannot coexist as one identity, hence why the arguments and disagreements can appear so much bigger than they actually are.

When it does work, it works wonderfully, as the couple does their best to communicate with each other and solve the problem hastily.

Do not annoy your ex!

Even if you miss your ex like crazy, don’t stay in his life thinking you will win him over.

Don’t stand at his front door with a present in your hands. This will infuriate him and you might even get a restraining order.

Observe his behavior and do what he says. If you feel he needs space, give him space. If he doesn’t respond and ignores you, go no-contact. You will never force your way in, so take appropriate action.

It’s important you do your best to avoid making the post-breakup mistakes at all cost!

There’s nothing worse than pestering your ex when the romantic relationship has come to an end.

Also, don’t engage in some kind of war with your ex because of your hurt feelings. Chin up, and go indefinite no-contact instead.

There’s nothing you can do directly that will bring your ex back.

I know you would do anything, and unfortunately, that’s just not the way to win him or her back.

Holding on to the past relationship is going to anger your ex to the point of getting blocked.

Your ex wants to be left alone for the time being, so walking away with high self-esteem is the best you can do, even if you messed up badly.

We are only human

It doesn’t matter whether your ex was a he or a she. As human beings, we connect and become strongly reliant on one another.

There’s no denying that we are meant to socialize and bond. It had been that way since the beginning of human evolution and will remain so most likely forever. We are biologically wired to be dependent on each other – especially in relationships.

The emotional pain you are experiencing is so severe, all you can think about is feeling better.

May that be with or without your ex, you wish to be healed at once. This is understandable because breakup pain is that bad it can easily be compared to a family member passing away.

Relationships are a drug

The more attached you are, the more you will miss your ex when she leaves. The breakup will sting that much more if she was one of your only sources of happiness, and you lived for her, instead of yourself.

If you loved your ex more than you loved yourself, you are going to suffer way more than you probably deserve to hurt. This is true regardless of your gender. Codependent relationship breakups are excruciatingly agonizing.

When you are in a relationship, everything is normal and unnoticeable. You don’t realize that you are connected to your significant other because you are getting your daily dose regularly.

He or she is providing constant emotional support, and you happily accept it without awareness. Every word, message, deed and the very presence of your significant other, further connects you to him or her.

Only when the bond is severed, you begin to notice the withdrawal symptoms.

They are very much similar to that of drug addiction.

Detox can take up to two weeks, as you are forced to go cold turkey immediately after the breakup.

Some of the symptoms include loss of appetite and weight, nausea and vomiting, headaches, lack of sleep, short-term memory loss, panic attacks…

There’s something called the dumpee’s syndrome.

It’s basically the effect that occurs when you get abandoned. All of a sudden, your validation, ego, self-esteem and much more is at stake, and you begin to feel a lot of pain.

When your ex leaves you, anxiety shoots through the roof, and you immediately start looking for a way to ease the pain.

The remedy to your suffering is to reconcile with your ex.

Missing your ex so much – to the point of fatigue has to be avoided. You can literally die if you “allow” yourself to grieve too intensely.

Emotions are running so wildly during a breakup, you end up creating a ton of anxiety. Emotions easily override all rational thinking, hence why hearing “move on” from people sounds incredibly annoying.

When you hear such words, you’re probably thinking to yourself “I would move on if I could. I did not choose to feel the way I do, and I want people to understand what I’m going through.”

Believe me, a lot of us have been there, so we know your pain is real.

Does my ex miss me?

I know you are wondering whether your ex misses you after the breakup. The best way to know whether he misses you is to pay attention to his actions. If he’s constantly reaching out to you and wants to talk to you, then yes, he does.

Hopefully, you’re diligently “waiting” in no contact, and are paying attention to clues whether no contact is working.

It’s completely normal for dumpers to want nothing to do with you after the end of the relationship.

Staying friends doesn’t work for the dumpee anyway, so never settle for that.

I miss her so she must miss me

There’s a big misconception when it comes to breakups.

Dumpees believe that just because they are missing their ex like crazy, their ex dumper must be feeling the same way.

This is far from the truth, especially right after the breakup. I know it sucks to hear, but most dumpers are usually so happy to be on their own, they will absolutely disregard your existence.

It’s not your fault your ex is feeling completely different emotions, so there’s no reason to blame yourself. He or she is merely acting on impulse.

To reiterate, once the relationship is broken, you are going to feel so attracted to your ex like he or she was the only person left on the planet.

This “fake attraction” – the dumpee’s syndrome is going to drive you crazy. As a result of heartbreak, you think to yourself, “I miss my ex so much.

My ex is the best for me.” You will wholeheartedly believe that because of one and one reason only – anxiety. Overwhelming distress makes you think you want your ex back so badly, you have absolutely got to reconcile as soon as possible.

I miss my ex so much I NEED her back

Realistically speaking, the only thing you really need is yourself.

The only person who is going to be there for you from the beginning until the end is you. You don’t need another person to make you feel better about yourself.

Your ex is very well aware of that and thinks that being alone/with someone else is going to manifest happier results.

Can you blame him/her for wanting to be happy?

People take others for granted, and when they start feeling attracted to new adventures/people, they gravitate towards them. New things in life are always shinier than the old ones.

Here are a few questions from me to you. Would you want your ex back if you knew he or she wouldn’t be happy with you?

Would you sacrifice your ex’s happiness for your own? Is this what love is? I believe love is about receiving and contributing to the relationship equally.

You would not be able to achieve mutual happiness if you could forcefully pull your ex back in a relationship with you and suffocate her in the process.

Do you REALLY miss your ex?

Since you’re no longer in a relationship with this person, you probably think to yourself “I miss my ex so much.

When we were together, I felt at ease.” That’s right. You probably did feel much better. What if I told you that what you miss the most is being in a relationship, and not necessarily being together with your ex.

We both know your ex isn’t the embodiment of everything nice. He or she has a ton of flaws, just like any other human being.

What I believe you really miss is the love and attention you were given when the attraction was still present.

Can you honestly say you miss your ex as a person, all the negative qualities, the post-breakup behavior?

Many times the way dumpers treat dumpees speaks for itself. I think you simply hate going to bed alone and worry about getting your life back together. This is a mind over matter situation.

I want you to think rationally for a moment, weigh the good and the bad, the fact that you were abandoned, and decide whether the two of you are the best possible match.

Take this quiz, and see if you really love your ex.

What can I do so I won’t miss my ex?

As I mentioned before, missing your ex is not a choice. When your ex broke up with you, it “messed” with your brain so much it created instant attraction.

The breakup came out of nowhere, shocked you, and now you desperately want what you can’t have.

To get over a breakup and stop missing your ex like crazy, the best thing you can do is to get incredibly busy.

Nothing will aid you more in forgetting your ex than taking up new activities and finding new hobbies.

While you’re out there doing new things, make a few new friends, and stretch your comfort zone.

Grab your best buddies and go someplace that doesn’t constantly remind you of your ex.

Changing the scenery is going to help you significantly, as walking past your ex’s favorite restaurants and shops can make you feel incredibly nostalgic.

Avoid anything that reminds you of him or her, and instead give all this love you’re missing out on to yourself.

Remember to take care of your body and get those endorphins running by getting a good exercise on a daily basis. Doing so will numb your pain receptors and improve your mood.

If you’re still in the grieving stage, there’s no need to date another person. For some reason, being single is viewed as a weakness in our society these days.

Fortunately, that is not true. I believe it’s quite the opposite as it teaches you how to put yourself first and give you the strength to be self-sufficient.

That said, don’t rush into the next relationship just to mend your broken heart. Instead, figure out what went wrong and how you can become the best version of yourself.

Do you miss your ex as much as you are hurting? Please leave a comment below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.