Is My Ex Stalking Me?

It goes without saying that both dumpees (people who get broken up with) and dumpers (those who let go of their partners) stalk each other on social media and quite often even offline – in real life.

Although dumpers don’t do it as frequently as dumpees, they do, however, still like to keep tabs on their exes and know what’s going on.

They like to know what their dumpees are up to and how they are coping without them.

In this article, we’ll talk about exes stalking each other and the actions they can take to solve the situation.

We’ll start with dumpers and separate the stalking into online and offline categories.

Is my ex dumper stalking me?

It’s not unusual for dumpers to stalk their dumpees on social media or anywhere online that they can access from a computer, phone or tablet.

Online stalking occurs more often than you may think. Your ex may be grave silent and might appear completely disinterested in you, but your ex is likely stalking you from time to time without your awareness.

Just how you are curious about what your ex is up to, so is your ex. The only difference is that your ex isn’t dying to know everything about you. Far from that.

If your comes across something that piques his or her interest, then that’s fine. And if your ex doesn’t see anything, that’s fine too.

It’s not very easy to tell that stalking is happening in the background, but mark my words. Your ex is stalking you or will stalk you as long as you preserve your value in no contact and leave him or her alone.

Your ex gets curious every now and then, opens Facebook, Instagram or wherever you post your pictures with your dog and patiently scrolls through your profile and reads the comments.

Unless your ex accidentally likes your pictures or blatantly comments on any of your posts, you simply won’t know that stalking is occurring. It’s one of those things that happen while you’re eating your dinner or playing your favorite sports.

The point I’m trying to make is that you really won’t know if your ex is stalking you. As long as your online profiles are set on public or you’re still friends with your ex online, stalking will occur quite regularly.

Why is my ex stalking me online?

Dumpers are creatures of control and power. They like being in charge after the breakup by keeping dumpees away at a comfortable distance. They do so because of the usual post-breakup anger which is a very powerful emotion.

It’s important to understand that dumpers don’t stalk their dumpees because they are afraid they will start dating someone else. They often tell their dumpees to do do so anyway.

It’s just that dumpers are curious about what their exes are up to. They want to keep them around and see if they are having a good time and are moving on with their lives.

In a way, dumpers stalk online to reassure themselves that they’ve made the right decision. They spy on their dumpees to check up on their emotional well-being and occasionally—even to check if there’s someone else in the picture.

This happens provided that dumpees stayed in no contact and let the dumpers process all negative post-breakup emotions.

So, if you’re being stalked online by your ex, it’s not a bad sign. It’s a sign that your ex doesn’t despise you as a person and doesn’t mind seeing your face every now and then.

However, flaunting your new relationship or exposing yourself too often on social media could annoy your ex and get you blocked or unfollowed. That’s why you should probably upload pictures in moderation – to avoid aggravating your ex.

Why is my ex stalking me in person?

Although online stalking is nothing but a gesture of curiosity, we can’t say the same about stalking in person.

When the dumper takes the time and effort to get out of his or her house to stalk you, you can tell that something smells. You can be certain your ex is more than just curious about you and wants to procure the kind of information that he or she couldn’t obtain online or by talking to someone else.

Physical stalking or real-life stalking is serious and usually means only one thing.

Your dumper ex is controlled by high ego and instead of reaching out to you, embarks on a stalking journey to find out more about you. Most of the time, the dumper is ready to come back right away.

Dumpers stalk by:

• showing up where you shop, eat or spend most of your time
• driving around your neighborhood/home
• asking your acquaintances about you

What should I do if my ex is stalking me?

If you want your stalking-in-person ex back, I suggest you do absolutely nothing about it. Wait for your ex to “accidentally” bump into you and make plans with you to take it further.

If you don’t want him or her back, you should confront your ex and advise him or her to stop stalking you. If that doesn’t work, contact your ex’s family, friends, and as your last resort—the authorities.

That should take care of things once and for all.

And just in case it doesn’t help, note that people usually stop stalking when they stop feeling threatened. Time on its own eventually assuages most insecurities, so all you have to do is wait for him or her to give up.

Is my dumpee ex stalking me

If you’re the dumpee and you’re wondering “Is my ex stalking me online on social media,” you can be almost certain that almost all dumpees do in fact stalk online.

Dumpees that don’t follow the indefinite no contact rule stalk their exes online very often—especially right after the breakup. Since they feel hurt and overwhelmed, they check up on the dumpers in hopes of finding signs that their exes love them.

Every time dumpees stalk online, they see something they don’t like, so they re-open their wounds and make getting over their breakup harder than it needs to be.

That’s because they usually stalk in their moment of weakness—which is the most dangerous time to stalk.

There’s nothing to look for on the dumper’s online profile. But if you really need to stalk for some inexplicable reason, do it when you’re feeling great, not weak or depressed. Engrave this rule into your brain.

Most dumpees (probably 99%) initially stalk their dumpers online until they eventually realize it’s not helping them lose hope. That’s when they begin following the no contact rue diligently.

Is my dumpee ex stalking me in person?

Since dumpees feel rejected, heartbroken and at a loss of control, they sometimes do the least attractive things. They take matters of the breakup into their own hands and try to regain the connection they used to have with the dumper.

Some dumpees feel so overwhelmed due to a broken ego and shattered self-esteem that they lose their self-control. They start pulling off big gestures to impress their exes, turn to anger when they don’t impress them and even resort to physical stalking.

These post-breakup mistakes are all equally bad and regrettably—many dumpees are guilty of committing them.

Since dumpees are so desperate for results, they think and feel that they must do something to get their ex’s approval and stop them from moving on. Unfortunately, their good intentions only end up pushing dumpers away Their actions are just too unsightly for the creatures of power. Desperation is not attractive to them and neither is anything that portrays a lack of self-respect.

Dumpees know what they are doing is wrong, but they do it anyway due to their out-of-control emotions—which are not rational, but rather extremely emotional.

So when their exes find out about their impulsive behavior and a lack of self-control, all remaining value quickly diminishes into thin air.

This is why the power of no contact can save the dumpees’ face.

How can I tell if my ex is stalking me?

It’s really obvious your ex is stalking you when he or she is going the exact same way as you and always appears to be doing absolutely nothing when you look at him or her.

You can tell you’re being stalked if you frequently see your ex where you’re at and he or she appears nervous, fidgety, scared, avoidant, dishonest, insincere and inauthentic.

A person who’s not supposed to be where you are will either freeze in place or over-emphasize his or her non-verbal communication.

So if you’re wondering, “Is my ex stalking me in person,” all you have to do is observe your ex’s movements and behavior. It shouldn’t be too hard to spot unusual demeanor since you know him or her inside out.

Treat ex-relationship stalkers with dignity!

Please remember that people who stalk aren’t psychopaths, weirdos or a threat to the society.

They are people who are going through a difficult time so they can’t help but show their insecurities. Their post-breakup weaknesses aren’t shameful just because they lack the self-control to help themselves and stand on their own two feet.

They are warriors for looking for ways to keep fighting.

Try to think of their desperate actions toward the person they love as an attempt to solicit attention, care, and love. I don’t think they deserve to be punished for their good, yet selfish intentions.

Although they are going about it the wrong way, they are heroes in my book. I respect them because they are fighting when the battle has ended, and they have absolutely no chances of winning.

I know they may not look attractive when they obsess over someone who has abandoned them. But at the very least, they exhibit utter dedication.

Is your ex stalking you? Is he or she a dumper or a dumpee? Please leave a comment.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.