Showing your ex you don’t care anymore is easier than you may think. You don’t need to text, call, or tell your ex in person that you’re over him or her and that you’re finally happy and with someone else. Telling your ex how happy you are verbally or non-verbally is completely unnecessary and counterproductive.
It’s a waste of time because someone who doesn’t care simply wouldn’t point such things out. Neither would he or she get sad, angry, or have demands or expectations of the dumper.
A happy, detached, and worry-less person would instead mind his or her own business and be okay with the breakup.
There would be no reason for a happy person to contact the dumper, directly or indirectly ask for attention and explanations, and engage in meaningless chit-chat. That’s now what someone with 0 care does.
As long as there is care (emotions and expectations) a person is somewhat attached and dependent on the other person for happiness and well-being. He or she isn’t prepared for a new, independent, and ex-less life.
So if you want to know how to show your ex you don’t care anymore, start by actually not caring. Heal, detach, let go of hope, and be okay on your own because when you accomplish that, you won’t have to prove your ex anything.
You’ll be at peace and won’t care if your ex thinks poorly of you, ignores you, deletes you from social media, and is dating a superstar.
Internal peace and happiness speak for themselves. They tell your ex you appreciate your company and enjoy your life more than you miss your ex. That may not make your ex envious and force your ex to come running back, but it will show you’ve regained control of your emotions and accepted the harsh reality.
Dumpees need to show they’re capable of accepting the breakup and moving on. Those who don’t accept it and keep acting as if their ex is their partner (invite their ex out, ask for another chance, express love, etc.) tend to make their ex feel guilty and smothered.
They make their ex see that they’re desperate for validation and reconciliation and that they’re in big denial. And denial more often than not puts immense pressure on the dumper and kills any respect the dumper still has for the dumpee.
That’s why the best way to show your ex you don’t care anymore is to lay off the pressure and actually not care anymore. You need to avoid acting on negative emotions such as fear and uncertainty and understand that most dumpees who want to prove they don’t care anymore end up proving the opposite.
They feel hopeful, scared, and unimportant, so they leave social media baits, contact their ex, or ask friends to speak to their ex for them. By doing so, they show they want their ex to notice them and make them feel special again.
Such dumpees, unfortunately, still care and show that they need their ex to be happy. They make their ex pity them or smother them, depending on their ex’s maturity and understanding of breakup demeanor.
As a result, they oftentimes make their ex ignore them and block them and fail to make their ex see their worth as people and romantic partners.
If you aren’t ready for your ex to react in negative ways, avoid saying or doing things that make your ex feel unwanted emotions. Watch your words and actions because your ex could find them so disrespectful and overwhelming that your ex reacts strongly to them, hurts you, and creates new problems for you.
As a dumpee, you’ll be much happier and successful in general if you stop trying to change your ex by force and let nature take its course. By letting go of the reigns, you can give your ex the space he or she needs and allow yourself to detach and realize what and who is important to you.
In today’s post, we talk about how to show your ex you don’t care anymore. We show you how you can appear in control of your life and potentially make a decent impression on your ex.
How to show your ex you don’t care anymore?
While you were with your ex, your actions showed how you thought and what you felt. They expressed your commitment to your ex and helped your ex understand your intentions and expectations.
Your actions constantly communicated with your ex and made your ex feel a certain way about you.
And the same is true now that you’re no longer a couple. Your actions and inactions speak volumes as they describe your romantic feelings, self-esteem, confidence, maturity, and understanding of breakups. They show what you expect from the breakup and how you intend to achieve it.
If your actions show that you crave your ex’s recognition, your ex will quickly conclude that you feel insecure and unhappy and that you have nothing of value to add to your ex’s life. In your ex’s eyes, you’ll only take from your ex and make your ex work even harder to please you.
That will look very unappealing to your ex and make you look unattractive.
So bear in mind that your demeanor is very important. It uninterruptedly shows your ex where your focus goes and what you desire in life. If your focus is on your ex, it’s as clear as the sky that you crave something your ex has.
That something is probably attention, closure, affection, intimacy, or something you can’t get on your own. Your ex doesn’t need to be a psychologist to understand that you’re communicating with him or her because you’re not happy.
Your ex feels your energy (intensity) and can read your intentions in a matter of seconds. So you can pretend that you just want to be friends, but sooner than later, you’ll slip up and let emotions get the best of you.
That’s when you’ll show you’re not okay with the breakup and that your goal since the beginning of the breakup has been to persuade your ex to feel something for you and come back.
I hope this explains why it’s so important that you keep your self-indulgentĀ feelings ofĀ tenderness,Ā sadness, pain, nostalgia, and desperation to yourself. Your ex can’t know you’re dying to talk to him or her and get back as romantic partners.
If your ex discovers your plans, your expectations will overwhelm your ex and probably make your ex run for the mountains.
Now that you understand that your ex mustn’t feel your eagerness to stay in touch and reconnect, do your best to avoid showing desperation to your ex as well as expressing your negative emotions. Do this by ceasing all contact with your ex and preventing yourself from acting on your anxiety and pain.
Your ex won’t know how you feel if you don’t reveal your emotions to him or her. Your ex may only speculate based on your pre-breakup and post-breakup reactions.
That means if your reactions were respectful, you probably have nothing to worry about. You’ve been difficult if not impossible to read and remained mysterious after the breakup. You should continue to keep your emotions to yourself and leave your ex out of your life.
Once you’ve gained control of your emotions, you should also avoid talking about your ex with your mutual friends. It’s okay to answer some questions, but crying to your friends, complaining, trash-talking your ex, and showing anger or contempt certainly won’t show that you don’t care anymore.
On the contrary, they’ll show you still feel hurt and that you want justice for what your ex has done to you.
And that’s not the kind of message you want to send across. Not if you have hope for reconciliation and want to respect yourself.
As a dumpee, you’ve got to remember that mutual friends and people who associate with your ex will pass the word on to your ex.
They’ll tell your ex how you’re doing, what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. They’ll say it as they see it, so make sure your ex knows you’re moving on and taking care of yourself. Nothing will put your ex off more than seeing you struggle to accept the breakup and detach from your ex.
Dumpers already feel suffocated and irritated from delaying the breakup. They don’t want to see their ex having a difficult time coping with the breakup and moving on. That only makes them feel bad for breaking the commitment and hurting their ex.
So if you want to show your ex you don’t care anymore, prove it to yourself first. Your ex will know you don’t care when you stay away from your ex for a while and show no signs of emotional attachment and suffering.
To further prove your point, you can also post about your life on social media. Just make sure not to overdo it and show off. Bragging and other aggressive approaches will likely annoy your ex and get you blocked.
They’ll show your ex you’re struggling and that you want your ex and others to validate you.
Always remember that your ex doesn’t want to see you publish arrogant/pretentious or conversely, depressing stuff. Your ex wants you to be well-mannered and for lack of better words, act normal.
That said, here’s how to show your ex you don’t care anymore.
Your ex needs to see and feel that you don’t care anymore. And the only way that can happen is if your ex forgets about you for a while and then realizes your words (but mostly actions) have been about you.
That can let your ex lower his or her guard and perhaps even encourage your ex to reach out and find out about your newfound strength and happiness.
So whatever you do, don’t try to actively prove that you’ve stopped caring about your ex. Everybody knows that people who try to prove their strength, independence, and happiness directly and openly need approval and are usually extremely insecure.
Those who genuinely don’t care anymore just focus on their own goals and dreams and don’t obsess about people from the past. They prioritize their own needs and show that they’re in a good emotional and mental state and that they don’t fuss about old flames and people who don’t add any value to their lives.
That’s what you should aim for too. You should exude confidence and have goals and interests that don’t include your ex. An active lifestyle outside of the relationship with your ex will show that you don’t let exes and people in general take your identity away and stop you from being yourself.
Consistency is key
Showing your ex you don’t care anymore for just a day or two is unlikely to prove anything. To make a point, you need to consistently (preferably without failure) show your ex you’re doing okay and that you’re not a threat to his or her happiness and well-being.
The easiest way to do that is to distance yourself from your ex and leave your ex alone permanently. Don’t make exceptions and reach out for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, and Valentine’s day. Your ex doesn’t want to hear from you, nor does he or she expect to.
Your ex wants to not think about you and recover in ways dumpers need to recover.
If you message or call your ex just because you’re anxious or because you assume there’s no harm in reaching out, you won’t just reset your healing, but you’ll also disrupt your ex’s recovery process. And when you do that, chances are your ex won’t like itāand might do something you don’t like.
So if you’re going to show your ex you don’t care anymore, do it consistently and over a long period of time. You’ll need quite some time to detach and stop caring. Don’t expect to heal and your ex to think you’re fine the moment you pull away.
Starting no contact is merely step 1. A lot more needs to happen before your ex finally sees that you’ve stopped thinking about getting back together.
And a lot more can happen only if you consistently show that you’ve got your life under control and that you won’t reach out to your ex and risk hurting yourself and smothering your ex.
What if you already showed your ex that you still care?
If you had a moment of weakness and said or did something that proved you still cared, try not to worry about it too much. Most dumpees make a few mistakes. That doesn’t mean they’re failures but that they feel emotions very intensely.
They need to learn how to control those emotions so they can improve the quality of their life. Emotions drive us to do all kinds of things. If we don’t master them, we can’t expect to have fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others.
So if you’ve made a mistake or two, don’t beat yourself up too much. Instead, acknowledge that your wounds are fresh and that you still have some work to do. Such a confession will enable you to give yourself a break and help you resume no contact.
It will make you forgive yourself as well as your ex for hurting you and allow you to act as if you didn’t make any breakup mistakes.
Try to remind yourself that you can’t fix the past and change the way your ex perceives you. But what you can do is make sure that you’ve learned and grown from your mistakes and promised yourself not to act on strong negative emotions again.
Breakups require immense self-control and dedication. You’ll paull through yours as long as you know what your ex needs from you and what’s best for you. Not only will you survive the breakup, but you’ll also be better prepared for your next relationship and breakup.
Hopefully there won’t be another breakup, but it’s best to be prepared just in case.
Bear in mind that no contact can work twice or thrice on dumpers. But for it to work, you need to start it quickly and prove to yourself that you don’t care anymore. It will take a while for you to stop caring, but when you do, you’ll probably feel relieved and won’t care about showing your ex you’ve stopped caring.
I hope you’ve learned a thing or two about showing your ex you don’t care anymore. Let us know what you thought about this article below the post.
And finally, if you’re looking for help with your breakup, go to our coaching page for more information.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
dear Zan
i have sent my own story details in previous posts of mine, this time i will make a fairy tale !
Boy meets girl, boy falls in love, girl is so pretty and sweet and caring that seems like the love of his life,
they get together and ten years later they get married. They have a son.
Boy is busy working a lot to help with all since girl lost her job and now raising the kid.
Boy and girl start to fight, eventually girl meets another boy and cheats.
Then boy leaves his house and asks girl to pack, so girl goes back to her parents with a kid.
A few weeks later boy goes to a lawyer and asks for a divorce in paper, as girl only wanted to divorce but did not make any decsions.
A couple of months later boy and girl are divorced after 14 years married and 24 altogether.
Girl keeps daring the other boy she met while married
Boy changes an entire life in less than a year: lives alone, provides for his son, gets so worked and shaves off his head people sometime have trouble recognizing but all like him š
So to the more serious question here…
how can boy keep on with no contact when his son is sometimes mentioning things boy would rather forget ?
boy told girl when he discovered cheating if it was not for their son they would never meet again
girl said she wanted to divorce but not that fast boy did !
so please Zan ….
please try making an article on no contact with kids. especially that
it may be the hardest. false hope and breadcrumbing in its finest form !!!!!
same time there is guilt: a word so heavy it can get on top of both dumper and dumpee
for different reasons though
Hi Nick.
Depending on how old the son is, the boy can talk to him and see if he understands the situation. If he does, he can be asked not to speak about the girl too often. But if he’s too young and is suffering from separation anxiety, then the boy has to be strong for both of them and provide answers.
I have written an article on no contact with kids involved. You can read it here.
Be strong, Nick!
Best regards,
Zan
Zan
They are high on themselves. Their attitude changes with the breeze depending on whatever bs they need to keep telling themselves. They want to move through the world coated in Teflon. My dumper relied on burners because heās been blocked so many times for being a douche. When youāre lonely/bored you hope anyone will still reply I guess. Sad way to live but orbiters chose that lifeāeven if that means a life free of attachment and meaning. Relationships are what give life meaning.
Hi Claire.
I suppose they want the best of both worlds. If they feel guilty, they try to assuage their guilt. And if they want friendship, they try to get that too. Your ex couldn’t commit and give you what he wanted, so he showed you his true colors by stringing you along. I’m glad you broke free and discovered your worth, Claire!
Best,
Zan
Straight to no contact rule, heal, detach, let go of hope, and be okay on your own are some of best things that I learned from you Zan!
Always so grateful for your help š
Hi Linda.
No contact is hard, but it gets easier the longer you stay in it. I’m proud of you for sticking with it, Linda!
Best,
Zan
I think if you have been too accommodating all along, the dumpee takes that as license to try out all options. I canāt tell you how many men have contacted me after months and years because theyāre getting tired and older. Who wants that guy amirite? His best days are gone. So ghosters, please stay gone, forever. We havenāt contacted you. We deserve to be left alone now and see right through your bs.
When I was growing up, my Dad had a bird dog. This was in the country so he wasnāt a pet. He was the best bird dog in the county, and sired many litters of puppies because of his endurance and the way he could point āholdā the quail and what have you. But every once in a while he would dig out from his kennel and take off. Heād always come back exhausted. It was our job as kids to comb the burrs out of his coat. When we would wash him, the water in the tub was so dirty it would be green from all the algae (he loved to swim in lakes). Anyway, my point is thatās how some guys are. Who wants to clean up after you or listen to your trials and travails when you come back? Not me.
I think actually not caring is great. When they hit you up, and they will, do like Zan advises: cut them short, ask them to get to the point, thank them for stopping by, and keep them out of your life. Nothing good comes from people who have so many options (usually men). Just donāt let them take up any more of your valuable time when it finally dawns on them that they are the ones left standing still as life passes them by.
Hi Claire.
Ghosters often return when things go awry for them. They get tired of failing, so they become a bit desperate. They should leave their exes alone – especially if they haven’t made any internal changes.
Great analogy between a bird dog and an orbiter, Claire. I think some men have dozens of women they orbit but don’t want to (or can’t) commit to. They just do what’s best for them. Bet not to entertain them at all.
Kind regards,
Zan