How To Not Text Your Ex After A Breakup?

Most dumpees experience heart-shattering separation anxiety and find it incredibly hard not to text their ex after a breakup.

They feel so devastated by the loss of their relationship that they impulsively message or call their ex and expect their ex to respond compassionately.

But because dumpees’ expectations of their exhausted ex are too high, compassion never comes. What they get instead is a rejection that hurts them again and consequently makes them want to text their ex even more.

If you’re one of those people who can’t stop texting or calling their ex-partner, start by eliminating the stressors that make you want to contact your ex.

Unfollow (don’t remove or block) your ex on social media and push your ex out of your life.

There’s nothing left for you to see on your ex’s profile other than pain and misery.

Once you’ve done that, move on to phase 2 and avoid/get rid of all reminders and gifts from an ex.

Take off your ex’s jewelry, delete his or her pictures and avoid places that remind you of your ex.

By doing so, you will make sure that you suffer from the least emotional setbacks as possible and guarantee the fastest recovery for yourself.

And finally, when you’ve taken away your ex’s ability to hurt you, delete his or her number too.

If you don’t have kids with your ex-partner and other obligations that require regular communication, holding onto your ex’s number will keep your hopes alive.

It will force you to ponder about how to stop yourself from texting your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend and inadvertently cause pain.

So take appropriate action and get rid of your ex’s number so that you can start getting over the breakup today. You’ll notice that the more you leave your ex alone and the more you push him or her away, the less you will want to text your ex.

This will work like a charm because your breakup wound will have healed too much for your desperation to continue to push you to text your ex back.

If you’re wondering, “How to stop texting your ex after a breakup,” start by letting go of hope and work toward independence.

You’ll soon understand that you don’t need your ex to live a joyous, fulfilling life. You just need to develop some willpower to not text your ex—and the rest will take care of itself.

Why can’t I stop texting my ex?

First of all, texting your ex after the breakup is as dangerous as it gets. Not only does it push your smothered, space-deprived ex to the other side of the planet, but it also self-sabotages your recovery.

It sets you back to the end of the relationship and forces you to experience separation anxiety all over again.

So be very careful about communicating with your ex right after the breakup and remember that as long as you’re heartbroken, texting or calling your ex will do more harm than good.

It will hurt your confidence and self-esteem and might even cause long-term psychological problems.

And that’s because you still:

• value your ex immensely
• hurt beyond belief
• grieve over your mistakes
• lack validation, love, support, happy hormones
• require your ex to behave in the way you want him or her to behave

So if you’re wondering how to not text your ex now that your relationship has ended, start by improving the points above. ?

Learn to forgive yourself for hurting your ex and find ways to love yourself for the person you are.

The moment you become the best version of yourself is the moment your ex’s value drops and your overwhelming desire to text your ex wanes.

How to stop texting your ex?

Before you’re able to stop texting your ex, you will need the one thing most dumpees lack.

Willpower.

You will have to gather up large amounts of it and begin to follow one of the most difficult self-imposed rules on the planet – the indefinite no contact rule.

By exercising this rule, you will break your obsessive attention-seeking patterns and sooner than later, detach from the forces that compel you to stay in contact with your ex.

But as we just mentioned, you will need lots of self-control. Crazy amounts of it.

Sometimes you will feel like stalking your ex on social media and asking his or her friends to update you on your ex’s life.

Please note that it’s completely normal to feel this way. Especially on your highly emotional, setback days when you feel hopeless.

But regardless of how you feel, don’t text your ex!

It’s a trap that will wound you more than you can imagine and make you curious about your ex again.

And when you’re hurt and curious, you’ll be at a much greater risk of doing something you’ll regret.

Something like texting your ex and professing your feelings for him or her.

This is why you must keep your composure even if you can’t stop thinking about your ex.

You must stay strong and resist the temptation to have that which you can’t have anymore (love and attention).

So get busy, ditch reconciliation hope, and work extra hard to increase your internal happiness.

It’s the cure to getting over a breakup and a remedy to stop texting your ex.

Here’s a picture explaining how to stop texting your ex.

Get incredibly busy

When you start following the indefinite no contact rule, the last thing you want to do is sit tight and watch Netflix all day.

Being unproductive won’t get rid of your texting cravings. If anything, it will leave you with more time to think about your ex—and consequently, to text your ex.

So grab some friends, find new hobbies, be ambitious, and do the things you feel too tired to do.

Such are the things that will take your mind off your ex and give you the energy boost you desperately need to stop texting your ex.

Dumpers, for example, also get incredibly busy after the breakup. They distract themselves with hobbies and activities and do their best to get rid of guilt.

For you as a dumpee, it’s not much different. Instead of dealing with guilt, you have to deal with breakup anxiety.

One way for you to do this is to engage your mind in activities that demand your undivided attention.

This can be anything from reading books and exercising to starting a business. Anything that gets your mind off your ex (even if for a minute) is what works wonders for you.

But you have to get busy and stay busy.

Below is a chart that depicts anxiety levels during no contact. It basically shows how much waking time you could spend thinking about your ex during no contact.

Of course, the numbers vary for each person because the time a person spends grieving over an ex strongly depends on how a person views himself or herself.

As you can see from the graph, no contact is a journey, not a sprint. It requires immense self-control during the first three or four months of the breakup.

But afterward, as anxiety eases, it tends to get a lot easier. And so does the desire to text your ex.

Again, how badly you want to text your ex really depends on what you do in your spare time. If you think about your ex all the time and stalk his or her new boyfriend or girlfriend, your anxiety is going to be high.

But if you do something productive every day and find purpose in your life, it’s going to be significantly lower.

Stop texting your ex by learning more about yourself

It’s self-explanatory that the more time you spend bettering yourself, the less time you will have to text your ex.

Everybody knows that, yet people seem to steer toward their dumper ex as if he or she is the one and only.

They tend to be stuck in denial and truly believe that their ex is the one for them. But if he or she were, the breakup wouldn’t have occurred.

They would have found a way to work around their problems and patiencly overcome all obstacles.

Your ex, therefore also isn’t the most ideal person in the world for you. He or she gave up on you and abandoned you when you needed him or her the most.

So let go of this “one and only” soulmate concept and understand that you’re not thinking logically.

You’re letting your broken heart tell you what to think about your ex when you should be trusting your brain.

If you truly want to stop texting your ex, learn more about yourself.

Learn that you’re continuously texting your ex because you’re in denial and that you won’t get out of it until you acknowledge that you can’t stop texting your ex because you don’t want to stop texting your ex.

You lack the willpower to steer away from your ex.

Just stop texting, it’s that straightforward!

I completely understand that you’re starving for recognition, but this doesn’t mean that you should seek it from your ex.

He or she is the last person who’s going to give it to you right now, so take a deep breath, think about the consequences of your self-destructive actions, and make a decision.

Decide that you won’t text your ex ever again no matter what—because you can’t risk another voluntary setback.

Convince yourself that your ex lost out on you by leaving you and that you must now win yourself back.

I know that you possess the strength to leave your ex alone for good. Millions of people have done it already—and so can you!

Resist the temptation to text your ex

When you feel the need to text your ex and you think that willpower alone won’t suffice, find something that requires your immediate attention.

Call your friends or family and let them know that you’re going to do something for them.

By promising them things, you won’t have an excuse to text your ex anymore. You’ll be too busy fulfilling your promises and taking care of more important matters.

You can also try to distract yourself by talking to strangers. If you do, you will naturally want to make a good impression on them and keep your brain occupied.

Basically, whenever you feel that you’re going to text your ex, find someting that keeps you busy.

And if you can’t find it, make it.

The pain you feel when you’re anxious is only half as bad as the pain you’ll feel when you contact your ex.

It will probably last much longer too.

How to get your ex to stop texting you?

If you haven’t started no contact yet and you’re still calling or texting your ex, you don’t have to tell you ex that you’re about to stop texting him or her.

You don’t owe your ex an explanation or an apology. Just go full no contact and disappear completely.

It’s your emotional well-being we’re talking about.

But if you’re already following a strict regimen of indefinite no contact and your ex is the one who contacts you, then you may want to tell your ex to stop texting you.

Be straightforward and tell your ex that you’d like to focus on yourself from now on and that you’d like him or her not to contact you anymore.

If your ex respects your decision, he or she will leave you alone. And if not, you might receive breadcrumbs and guilt-inducing messages.

In that case, repeat what you said and wish your ex well.

Did this article provide you with useful information on how to not text your ex after a breakup? Are you already using any of the tips mentioned in this article? If so, which ones? Post your thoughts below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.