How Do Guys Feel When Their Ex Moves On?

How guys feel when their ex moves on varies for each guy. Most dumpers are happy to see their ex move on because they’ve been feeling guilty and ashamed. They couldn’t completely ignore their ex’s pain and problems and enjoy their newfound space and freedom, so they’re happy to see or hear that their ex no longer wants their time and affection.

The positive news of their ex’s recovery alleviates their guilty conscience and enables them to feel only positive breakup emotions. These emotions include joy, relief, freedom, excitement, and hope.

Dumpers feel that they are no longer morally responsible for their ex’s health and well-being and that they’re free to mind their own business and do what they have to do to be happy.

Some dumpers use this opportunity to start posting their new partner online, asking their mutual friends about their ex, going to places where they might run into their ex, and doing things they previously didn’t because they were afraid their ex would find out about them, get hurt, and maybe even reach out and give them a hard time.

Hence, detached and moral guys like that their ex has moved on. They feel positive about it and may even tell their ex or their ex’s friends that they’re happy for their ex. They usually tell the truth because they feel they don’t have any moral responsibilities to look after their ex and do what’s best for their ex.

They can just do what’s best for them. This includes dating other people, going out more, drinking and partying, and living freely.

I’m not saying a little bit of guilt will stop dumpers from having fun and feeling relieved. Most of the time, it will not. But it will weigh on moral dumpers’ conscience from time to time and make them wonder if it’s okay for them to have fun while their ex is crying her eyes out and struggling to love herself.

So bear in mind that guys think about their ex’s feelings and happiness. They may not care about them very much, especially not as much as dumpees would want them to, but they do occasionally confront their guilt. Guilt tells them their ex is fighting an internal battle and that they’re responsible for it.

When they learn their ex has won her internal battle, a weight is quickly lifted off their shoulders. They’re happy both for their ex and themselves because they no longer have to worry about their ex and question their decisions and actions. They can just remove themselves from their ex’s life and not think about how their ex is doing and feeling.

What about the male dumpers who are unhappy when their ex moves on?

There’s not a lot of them. Usually, they’re young, insecure, competitive, and stupid—and don’t want their ex to move on (especially with someone else) before them. They consider the breakup a competition, so they get jealous of their ex’s partners and envious of his or her success.

Such dumpers often reach out, get angry, and/or ask for another chance. They want what their ex has, so they stop their ex from being happy and moving on. They don’t care how their ex feels as long as they feel in control of their emotions and life.

Immature dumpers obviously don’t feel very good when their ex moves on. They take their ex’s ability to move on and happiness very personally. So much so that they act on their insecurities instead of working on them.

If your ex left you and you want your ex back, you don’t want your ex to feel insecure and get angry with you for moving on. Your ex’s anger could shock you and make you think that your ex wants you back so that you can overcome relationship problems together. That would give you a ton of hope and stop you from moving on. It would make you think about your ex rather than yourself.

What you want is for your ex to become regretful and admit he was wrong. You want him to say he made an emotional decision and that he’s ready to fix things. Don’t get your hopes up just because your ex feels secure by your moving on.

Your ex’s insecurities are your ex’s problems. You have plenty more important things to worry about such as your self-esteem and happiness.

But in general, secure guys (most guys) don’t feel anything bad when their ex moves on. They’re usually happy for their ex and glad they no longer feel guilty for dumping and hurting their ex. They feel that they’ve eased their guilty conscience and become 100% ready to leave their ex behind.

In this post, we continue to discuss how guys feel when their ex moves on.

How do guys dumpers feel when their ex moves on?

Dumpers (male or female) seldom feel jealous, angry, and sad when their ex moves on. They usually immediately forgive themselves and start dating other people without thinking they’re selfish and inconsiderate of their ex’s feelings.

You see, when dumpers leave, they absolve themselves of moral responsibility, feel that they needn’t worry about their ex’s pain and problems anymore, and think that they’re free to do what they want with whomever they want.

And they think that way even more when their ex says or shows that he or she is doing fine. When their ex moves on, there’s no doubt in their mind that they’re moral people and that they needn’t feel bad for moving on and enjoying their lives.

That’s why as soon as they learn that their ex is doing okay and has moved on, they consider the game fair and their ex to be even.

So keep in mind that dumpers like it when their ex moves on after the breakup. They appreciate their ex making the effort necessary to disconnect from them and find joy and passion outside of the relationship.

Dumpers may initially be surprised when they learn that their ex has moved on (and started dating someone else), but they’re usually not surprised in a bad way. They just need a moment to process and accept their ex’s newfound happiness before they feel relieved and continue to self-prioritize.

Only depressed, attached, and miserable dumpers get sad when they find out their ex has moved on and no longer needs them. Unhappy dumpers, such as dumpers who were forced to leave their ex (because of cheating for example) get hurt and feel sad and may take their pain and frustration out on their ex.

Despite that, though, they tend not to run back to their ex because they remain convinced their ex isn’t the right person for them and that they can’t be happy with their ex. They associate too many negative beliefs and feelings with their ex to redevelop feelings and consider their ex a fulfilling long-term partner.

Most guys actually respect their ex more for moving on. They like their ex way more than when their ex begs and pleads and refuses to accept the breakup and work on detaching. Exes who pester dumpers and cry uncontrollably guilt-trip dumpers and make them feel suffocated. They disturb dumpers’ moving-on process and complicate their own healing as well.

The bigger their denial, the more problems they cause for themselves and their dumpers.

So if your ex dumped you, don’t intentionally try to make your ex’s life harder. Don’t refuse to move on and think your ex will want you back because of it. Although your ex might feel guilty for putting you through a difficult situation, your ex won’t redevelop respect and love for you. If anything, your ex will lose respect and want to run for the hills more than ever.

He’ll see you still need him to be happy and that he doesn’t have the energy and will to help you deal with your problems. He expects you to deal with them alone, which is why he broke up with you and left you to fend for yourself.

So instead of begging your ex to take you back, focus on moving on. It may not be easy to do that when every fiber in your body instructs you to talk to your ex and reconnect with him, but you need to listen to your brain rather than your heart. You need to disconnect from your ex and fall back in love with yourself.

You’ll be able to do that by cutting your ex out of your life, focusing on self-improvement, spending time with friends and family, and becoming the best version of yourself.

When your ex sees that you’ve grown and changed, your ex won’t want you back (at least not right away). But your ex will stop looking for reasons to dislike you and feel happy for you because he’ll see that you’ve gathered the strength to put yourself first.

Self-respect is attractive. The more you respect yourself, the more your ex and others will be forced to respect you back. That’s because self-respect sets boundaries. It tells people what you’re not okay with and that they’ll get punished if they don’t treat you the way you treat yourself and want to be treated.

If your ex sees that you don’t respect yourself but that you’ve moved on after months or years of begging, your ex probably won’t respect you. His opinion of you won’t change when you move on because he’ll remember the negative feelings you made him feel before you moved on. He’ll continue to think that you’re desperate for love and that you don’t love yourself as much as he does.

But if you moved on without making any major mistakes and stayed mysterious, then your ex will probably respect you. He may not love you, but he will occasionally ponder about you and wonder why you weren’t open to friendship and breadcrumbing.

In a nutshell, guys respect dumpees who stand up for themselves and do everything in their power to cut them off and move on. They may not like it (especially if they want friendship or relationship perks), but they nonetheless respect their exes and become curious about them.

How guys feel when their ex moves on, therefore, depends on how dumpees treat themselves and how they handle the breakup. The quicker they get rid of their ex and the happier they become, the more their ex respects them and wants to inquire about their life.

That said, here’s how guys dumpers feel when their ex moves on.

Both dumpees and dumpers need space after the breakup. Dumpers need it to be free and see that they can’t have their ex’s friendship and support like nothing happened. On the other hand, dumpees need it to respect themselves and detach from their ex. When they get themselves back, they may not even want their ex back anymore.

How do guys dumpees feel when their ex moves on?

Terrible.

Dumpees don’t want to accept that their ex has moved on. They don’t want to think that their ex has fallen out of love and possibly in love with someone else. Dumpees are in denial and don’t understand (or want to understand) that their dumper ex has already moved on. He moved on days or weeks before he even initiated the breakup.

He stayed committed only because he wanted to be certain he was doing the right thing and that he wouldn’t regret it. He was basically looking for one final feature he didn’t like about his partner so he could use it as an excuse to dump her and say the relationship was unfixable.

Dumpees often struggle to understand how their ex was able to move on so quickly while they still have strong feelings and find it hard to love themselves. They make the mistake of judging the relationship from their perspective rather than putting themselves in their detached ex’s shoes and accepting that their ex focused on their negative traits and stopped caring.

Because they prioritize their emotions and unmet needs, they fail to understand their ex’s feelings and reasons for disconnecting and leaving. To understand their ex, they need to get some physical and emotional distance from their ex and scrutinize their relationship from afar. Usually, this helps them see that their relationship wasn’t as perfect as they thought and that their ex had (and likely continues to have) many flaws.

Dumpees are in shock and denial. Due to pain and various difficult emotions created by the breakup, they put their ex on a pedestal and think of their ex as someone who can save them. They think they love their ex when the main reason they want their ex back is because they depend on their ex. I’m not saying they’re codependent, but they can’t be happy without the happy hormones their ex provided them in the relationship.

Their ex’s love validated them and gave them a feeling of reassurance and purpose. They need to wean off their ex before they can be okay on their own and eventually with someone else. And they can do that by keeping their ex away from them and engaging in activities that keep them busy.

While dumpees are still recovering from the breakup, they mustn’t know how their ex feels and what their ex is doing. They must think about themselves and ask people to keep them in the dark about their ex. The less they know about their ex’s new life and feelings, the fewer emotional setbacks they will encounter on their journey to recovery.

What’s your take on how guys feel when their ex moves on? What do you think goes through their mind? Share your thoughts below the post. We’ll get back to you shortly.

And if you’re looking for 1-on-1 advice on your ex’s feelings and behaviors, feel free to get in touch with us via our coaching program.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.