Don’t Think About Sending Gifts To Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

If you’re thinking of sending or giving your ex gifts to get her back, you need to know that gifts, promises, reminders of the past, and romantic gestures won’t melt your ex’s heart and have the kind of effect you’re hoping for them to have.

Your ex is too far gone (too unreceptive) for that because she broke up with you and asked for physical and emotional space. She basically said, “I’ve detached from you and now need some time to do things my way.”

So when you send her gifts, expecting her to appreciate your efforts, you don’t let her stay in control of the breakup. You actually tell her “I’m still here,” put many expectations on her, and force her to say or do something even though she feels trapped and doesn’t want to do anything at all.

To understand how your ex-girlfriend would feel if you sent her gifts, imagine how you would feel if you received gifts from some girl you’ve been trying to run away from. Your first impression would probably be that she’s a stalker and a creep and that she has very little respect for herself.

Because you’d have such a poor opinion of her, you would feel really strange for a while and wonder what to do with the gifts she sent you. If the gifts were chocolates, you could eat them. But what it was something like a shirt, a bracelet, or even worse, a ticket to a concert with her?

Imagine how uncomfortable you would feel if you got stuck in a situation where you don’t want to go with her, but at the same time, don’t want to be rude and tell her to stop sending you gifts. I’m certain you’d feel very smothered and unhappy.

And that’s exactly how your ex would feel if you sent her gifts and expected her to like you more because of them. The situations between your imaginary admirer and your ex-girlfriend really aren’t that much different. They both consist of a person who’s obsessed and trying to leave a good impression and a person who’s emotionally exhausted and incapable and unwilling to perceive thoughtful gestures for what they are.

All a person with a negative opinion of her ex can feel is a lot of pressure and anger from being unlistened to and disrespected.

So if you’re thinking of buying gifts to get your ex-girlfriend back, don’t do it. Don’t give your ex gifts because they won’t sweep her off her feet and increase her admiration for you. On the contrary, gifts will tell her that you don’t respect her need for space and that you’re being needy and clingy.

I know you’re hoping for gifts to tell your ex that you love her and want to be with her, but, unfortunately, your ex already knows that. She broke up with you and knows you have feelings for her. And if for some reason, she doesn’t, she’ll see that you’re obsessed with her and that your gifts come from a place of desperation and a lack of self-respect.

In this post, we’ll talk about whether you should send gifts to get your ex-girlfriend back.

Gifts to get your ex-girlfriend back

I’m not entirely sure why, but it’s usually guys who think that sending gifts to their exes will impress their exes and pull them out of their confused state. I imagine it’s because guys usually express themselves through actions rather than words and consider their gifts a thoughtful and caring gesture.

Women, on the other hand, tend to make other post-breakup mistakes. They sometimes uninvitedly visit their exes’ house or workplace, send forgiveness/closure letters, and guilt-trip their exes.

Of course, both men and women send gifts and do obsessive things, but personally, I’ve seen way more guys send their exes gifts than women. This is probably because guys think that money and effort can show their ex-girlfriends that they care and want them back.

So if you’re a guy and you’re looking for gifts to get your ex-girlfriend back, take my advice and stop looking. Get the idea out of your head completely because your ex’s issues are bigger than gifts can fix. They’re so big, you’re only going to get in your ex’s way of enjoying her freedom and make her even more uncomfortable than she already is.

I can tell you that the guys who sent their exes gifts didn’t get the results they were hoping to get. Some guys received a meek “thanks for the gifts,” some got ignored/blocked, some got into an argument, some received their gifts back, but most wasted their time, money, and emotions and accomplished absolutely nothing.

They showed their ex that they were desperate for love and that they needed their ex to stop feeling anxious and afraid.

Why don’t ex-back gifts work?

Sending gifts to your ex won’t work because your ex isn’t emotionally ready for them to work. She feels tired from the prolonged end of the relationship and can’t change the way she sees you and feels about you that easily. Her perceptions of you are frozen in time and don’t depend on what you do to win her back.

They depend on her ability to let go of the past/process unhealthy emotions and on whether you give her what she wants.

What your ex-girlfriend needs from you to be happy, therefore, aren’t gifts. It’s not effort, promises, stalking, begging, or personal improvements either. To process the past and feel positive feelings for you, your ex-girlfriend needs lots and lots of time.

And she must get it from you at all cost.

If she doesn’t get it because you keep gifting her things and expecting her to thank you for them, it’s highly likely that she won’t respect you for the pain you’re causing her. On the contrary, she’ll probably realize that she should have left you sooner and that she must move forward with her life as fast as she can.

With that said, here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t send gifts to your ex-girlfriend.

If you haven’t sent any gifts to your ex-girlfriend yet, don’t send them at all. Your ex was the one who gave up, so if anyone should be sending you gifts and apologizing for hurting you, it’s her. You need to understand that the roles are completely reversed. Your ex-girlfriend is the person with all the power and you’re the one who lacks it.

For things to be fair and balanced, your ex must respect you and crave you as much you crave her. But because that isn’t happening right now, all you can do to even out each other’s levels of interest is to care less about her.

This is what the rules of no contact are here to help you with. I suggest you follow the indefinite no contact rule and not the 30-day no contact rule or any other technique people talk about on the internet.

If you care about yourself and your ex, you’ll have to give your ex as much time as she needs. You won’t reach out ahead of time while she’s still suffocating from the lack of space.

What alternatives are there to sending her gifts?

If you want to make your ex miss you and realize your worth, don’t give her any gifts. Now you know that gifts will make you look weak and unattractive and that she’ll value you even less than she already does.

So instead of looking desperate, give your ex the gift of missing you. Pull away from her, disappear completely, and treat yourself to something nice. Get some new clothes, take a leave from work and go on vacation, spend time with friends, and do the things you always wanted to do but never got around to.

Taking your mind off your ex and focusing on yourself is what’s going to give your ex what she wants – space. Pestering her with gifts, on the other hand, won’t. If anything, gifts will show her you think about her all the time and that you’re still planning a life with her even though you’re no longer a couple.

Remember that staying in denial won’t create the love spark that you’re desperately trying to create because love after the breakup requires something completely different. Something your ex needs to process her negative thoughts and feelings.

And that something is:

• time
• space
• respect
• self-reflection
• and willpower or a strong emotional incentive

If one of these things is missing, your ex won’t redevelop her respect for you and come back. Or if she does come back, she’ll most likely leave soon because she won’t have what it takes to stay committed to you.

So make sure not to rush things and let your ex improve her perceptions, feelings, and commitment.

She’ll improve these things if she sees your worth (on her own without your help) and truly wants to be with you.

Should I give my ex a gift I bought before we broke up?

When it comes to giving exes gifts, there’s a very easy rule you can follow. It’s called, “don’t give your ex gifts“. It doesn’t matter if it’s a birthday gift, a Valentine’s Day gift, a Christmas gift, or a personalized gift.

If your ex broke up with you (especially in an ugly manner), your ex doesn’t deserve any gifts from you. She isn’t your partner anymore and is far from being your friend. She’s probably closer to being an acquaintance than a friend, so don’t hand out any gifts.

Keep them to yourself or give them to your friends and family. Or if the gifts were expensive try to return them and get at least some of your money back.

There’s so much you can do with the gifts you’d bought prior to the breakup. You can even donate them to the poor. Just don’t give them to your ex. Give them to someone who actually wants the gifts and appreciates you as a person.

Think about it for a minute.

Do you really want to give a gift to someone as a reward for dumping you? Do you think it will make you more desirable in your ex’s eyes?

I really don’t think it will. I’ve seen what sending gifts to an ex does—and I can tell you that it doesn’t do anything nice. It just brings a bad reaction out of the dumper (ignoring is a reaction too) and causes dumpees to feel even more rejected.

And as you know, rejections suck a lot. They make you feel unworthy and downright miserable.

So if you’re still wondering if you should give your ex a gift you bought before, during, or after the breakup, go with the safest option and don’t give anything at all. Respect your ex’s need for space and you’ll minimize the risk of getting rejected.

I gave my ex gifts and it didn’t work out

I know what it’s like to give your ex gifts because I did the exact same thing. It’s a bit of a complicated story, but I knew the breakup was coming, so I gave my ex gifts for her upcoming birthday and hoped for the best. I wanted her to know that I cared about her even if she didn’t care about me.

But surprise surprise, the plan didn’t go as planned. It seldom does when it comes to exes. Instead of accepting my gifts and thanking me for them, my ex gave them to the friend she brought with her to break up with me. By doing so, she made it clear she had no respect for me and that she didn’t care anymore.

I’m not trying to demonize my ex because I know I made a lot of mistakes throughout the relationship too, but the point I’m trying to make is that giving gifts to someone who’d fallen out of love with you can be dangerous. It can seriously hurt your self-esteem and cause you long-term trust issues.

Surprisingly, my ex’s behavior didn’t hurt me because I knew the relationship was over for good. But most dumpees don’t believe it’s over. Most of them have hope and deliberately or indeliberately look for solutions to get their ex back.

If you’re one of those people, you have to give up on giving gifts to your ex. It won’t pull your ex closer to you, but rather, push her away. Maybe even forever.

I hope this article convinced you that there’s no such thing as “gifts to get your ex-girlfriend back.” Exes don’t come back like they do in the movies – when guys send them flowers and poems. They tend to come back when something bad happens to them and forces them to reflect on their unfortunate circumstances.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on sending gifts to ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. Post your thoughts below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.