If your ex blocked you online, you probably pushed your ex too far by begging and pleading, asking your ex questions, or annoying your ex. You did something or asked for something your ex wasn’t capable of giving or reciprocating, so your ex did the only thing he or she could.
Your ex blocked you and made sure you wouldn’t be able to make him or her feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
Now that you’re blocked, your gut instincts are probably telling you to do something to get unblocked. They’re telling you to convince your ex to give you another chance so that things can go back to normal.
But if you try to change the way your ex thinks and feels about you, you’ll, unfortunately, only make things worse. You’ll force your ex to lose even more respect for you and give up on you entirely.
The only thing you can do when your ex blocks you is to leave your ex alone. That’s how you can show that you understand you’ve been too intrusive and that you must now give your ex some space.
You probably already tried to prove your worth to your ex by explaining yourself—and that didn’t work. It backfired because your ex wasn’t ready to listen to you. Your ex saw your reasoning as a sign of weakness and reacted to it in a very destructive manner.
So whatever you do, don’t embarrass yourself by continuing to do that which got you blocked in the first place. Now it’s time to do the opposite, which is to go no contact and let your ex deal with whatever issues he or she needs to deal with alone.
Time and space are the only two things that could make your ex feel safe enough to unblock you when the time is right and enable your ex to reach out. But you need to be on your best behavior so that you don’t push your ex further away and bring a bad reaction out of your ex.
This post is for dumpees whose ex blocked them online. It will give readers some valuable information on how to act after getting blocked.
The fastest way to get your ex’s attention
The easiest way to get an ex who dumped you to notice you is to pull away. Pulling away initially makes your ex happy and relieved. But when enough time goes by, your ex becomes curious and sometimes even nostalgic. He or she wonders how you’ve been and what you’ve been up to, so your ex decides to check up on you.
If you have social media, your ex scrolls through your social profiles and tries to learn more about your post-breakup life. But if there’s not much on there and your ex badly wants to know more about you, your ex reaches out and breadcrumbs you.
By breadcrumbing you, your ex intends to take something from you and give very little in return.
As long as you’re sending your ex emails and doing things your ex doesn’t want you to do, know that this can not and will not happen. It won’t make your ex curious about you because your ex won’t even respect you.
Therefore, distancing yourself from your ex is essential. It’s needed so that your ex can see you’re no longer desperate for attention and that you’ve got enough going on in your life to mind your own business.
The problem is that dumpees want their ex to unblock them right away. They don’t want to wait for their ex to see their worth and unblock them willingly months or years later. That’s why they oftentimes continue to paster their ex through communication channels on which they aren’t blocked yet.
Needless to say, this annoys their ex even more and kills their ex’s respect for them.
If you think about it, your ex blocked you because your ex lost respect for you and decided that receiving messages from you would make him or her uncomfortable, maybe even guilty. That’s why instead of feeling unwanted emotions and putting energy into his/her responses, your ex decided to shut you out of his or her life and not worry about you at all.
Blocking instantly dealt with a situation your ex had no energy and willpower to deal with.
As someone who got blocked, you should ask yourself if you even want someone like your ex in your life. Do you want to get back together with someone who lost respect for you and disrespected you by blocking you?
If the answer is “yes,” you need to start respecting yourself first. You need to stop seeing your ex as the most important person on the planet and fall in love with yourself. When you do that, you might detach and realize that your ex isn’t worth getting back with.
He or she is someone who deals with problems by running away from them—and that’s just not good enough.
Stop what you’re doing and think things over
If you think that sending your ex gifts and love letters will pique your ex’s interest, you’re mistaken.
Your ex is a dumper who’s fallen out of love with you and is no longer receptive to lovey-dovey stuff. Your ex is repulsed by it because it demands emotions and responses your ex isn’t capable of giving. Your ex needs to first process the breakup and find reasons to respect you.
Only then can your ex see your romantic worth and return to you to invest in the relationship.
So while you’re waiting for your ex to come to his or her senses, bear in mind that your ex won’t fall for any tricks and gimmicks. Your ex won’t fall for jealousy tricks, pleas, and baits you throw at him or her.
All your perseverance will do is show that you’re in denial and make your ex block you (or keep you blocked). If you continue to chase after you’ve been blocked, your ex might even get a restraining order against you and try to ruin your image. That will significantly lower your chances of reconciliation and destroy the way you see yourself.
At this moment, you need to know that your ex is in complete control of the breakup. Your ex knows that you’re eager to communicate and that you want to get back together. That’s why you must prove your ex wrong. You must prove that you’re not going to look for alternative ways to get in contact with your ex and that you’re stronger than he or she thinks.
To prove you’re stronger, you, of course, don’t have to contact your ex and tell your ex that directly. You just have to stay in no contact and wait long enough for your ex to improve his or her perceptions of you and unblock you.
This could take months, years, or decades even. It depends on what’s happening in your ex’s life and whether your ex is a moral and understanding person capable of reflecting.
Ways to get unblocked
We’ve already mentioned that your ex won’t like your persistence because it reeks of low self-esteem. It puts your ex off and makes it impossible for him or her to feel the want and need to speak with you.
So if you’re emotionally dependent on your ex for recognition, don’t show your ex that. Don’t appear needy because you’ll push your ex away and hurt yourself in the process.
You should try to send the message that you’re doing fine, not that you’re in pain and need help.
Here are some things you must stop doing:
- reaching out to your ex
- sending your ex gifts
- stalking your ex (online and offline)
- spreading rumors about your ex
- feeling sorry for yourself and posting sad pictures or quotes online
- doing anything that pressures your ex
Here is what you should be doing instead:
- when asked about your ex, briefly mention only positive/neutral things
- love yourself and find happiness on your own
- ease your stress with relaxation techniques
- reflect on your shortcomings and work on becoming the best version of yourself
- get busy with work, hobbies, and friends
- post your accomplishments online (don’t overdo it)
- find your passion
These things will show your ex that you’re not going to guilt-trip, smother, and annoy your ex and that it’s safe for your ex to unblock you and reach out.
When your ex sees it’s safe to unblock you, your ex might still need to find a reason to talk to you.
That reason could be curiosity, guilt, shame, anxiety, advice, boredom, or something only you can provide.
Control your actions
If you got blocked after the breakup because of something you said or did, you obviously need to stop doing that. You need to change the way you act and react to stress so that you can regain control of your emotions and live life independently of your ex.
This should be your ultimate goal because as long as your ex determines what you do, you’re never going to be free. You’re going to be your ex’s slave and a person of very little worth (at least to your ex).
So do your best to grow your emotional strength and change your behavioral patterns. Something’s got to change significantly otherwise your ex will never see you differently. He or she will hold on to the old image of you and use that image for self-empowerment and staying away from you.
Always remember that your ex doesn’t want you to keep doing what you did when you got blocked. Your ex wants to feel respected and get some use out of unblocking you.
While you’re staying in no contact, waiting for your ex to unblock you, you have a lot to figure out. You have to figure out why your ex blocked you and secondly, what’s the worst that can happen now that you’re blocked. Your ex can’t block you again, so worrying about it is not going to help.
It’s in the past and a complete waste of life.
Every second you spend agonizing over your ex’s actions, you put yourself down and shorten your life span.
There’s no denying the fact that stress is a huge killer and the perpetrator of many mental, as well as physical illnesses. Eighty percent of all medical treatments in the U.S. alone are of mental origin. So control how much stress you let into your system and try to accept that you got blocked.
I sincerely hope you’ll remember this when you’re feeling down, stressing over the blocking.
There are many ways to control stress and get yourself out of a downward spiral. The only condition is that you must really, really want to.
If you become self-aware and grow in ways that you need to, you’ll soon stop worrying about whether your ex unblocks you. You’ll know that no matter how badly you messed things up with your ex, worrying about it is just not worth it.
Your life is too valuable to waste it obsessing over someone who blocked you.
My ex blocked me. How do I get my ex to unblock me?
By asking yourself the right question, “How to get my ex to unblock me,” you’re already one step closer to your goal. Sure you may feel like you’re exactly where you were a minute ago, but that’s not the case.
When you ask yourself appropriate questions, you’ll realize that your ex blocked you for a reason. He or she may not have told you what that reason was, but that doesn’t mean you can’t discover it on your own.
People block others because they can’t stand their actions or presence. They’re afraid that they’ll have to expend energy they don’t have and that they’ll feel miserable because of it.
That’s why even if you didn’t do anything to annoy your ex but still got blocked, you need to understand that your ex is irritated and sees you in a bad light. Your ex wants space and needs to get it otherwise your ex could ruin your reputation and leave you blocked for a very long time.
Maybe forever.
Who you are and how you present yourself is very important because you can’t impress and attract an ex if you aren’t happy with yourself. You can only make things worse because you make your ex feel all the wrong emotions.
Below is Maslow’s pyramid of the human needs a person needs to feel fulfilled. You might find it interesting.
There are no tricks to get your ex to unblock you. But the best way to get unblocked is usually to stop doing what got you blocked in the first place. Instead of making your life all about your ex, get busy with life.
Hang out with friends, get a (better) job, take a vacation, and do something fun. Your ex needs to know that you’re focusing on yourself and that you’re doing fine on your own.
My ex blocked me on everything. Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, everywhere…
If you pushed your ex to the other side of the planet, this doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way forever. For now, you need to stop doing things that aren’t working for you and give your ex what he or she wants.
So give your ex enough space and time to breathe. Even though you want things to go back to normal right now, it’s not going to happen when and how you want it to.
It’s going to happen when your ex wants it to because your ex has to come back and unblock you on his or her own terms. That’s the only way you can have a balanced friendship or romantic relationship with your ex.
You just can’t convince a person who isn’t in a convincing state of mind to please you. For your ex to cooperate, your ex must go through the 5 stages of a breakup and make the necessary emotional progress to let go of the past and the emotions that come with it.
People usually say, “Whatever is meant to happen will happen. If we’re meant to be, we will be”. It’s a bit of a cliche, but it’s true. The breakup is no longer in your control, so you must let go of control and leave it up to fate.
If your ex starts valuing you, rest assured that your ex will show you that when he or she is ready. Don’t try to rush it because rushing your ex will set you up for failure and give you a lot of pain. Pain that you don’t need.
My ex blocked me out of anger
Humans are emotional creatures. We make emotional decisions and often go back on those decisions when time or experiences change our minds.
For your ex to change his/her mind, something or someone must influence your ex and show your ex that keeping you blocked is not the most mature thing to do.
Imagine your ex holding a weighing scale. At one end of the scale are you and all the overwhelming emotions you made your ex feel. At the other end, however, is the world – the experiences your ex encounters and the way he or she feels about them.
At this moment, the scale is completely unbalanced. You’ve put so much pressure on your ex that your ex can’t even think about you. Thinking about you probably makes your ex feel extremely uncomfortable.
But as time goes on and you stay away from your ex, your ex is going to deal with the world and process some smothering emotions. Your ex is going to see that you’re not the main cause of his or her problems and become more interested in unblocking you and speaking with you.
This means that your ex will singlehandedly do all the work you’re trying to do. You won’t even have to convince your ex to unblock you because the world will do it for you.
Since you can only control your side of the scale, you need to let your ex experience life without you.
When he or she encounters difficulties and hits a rough patch, the weighing scale will balance itself out and enable your ex to think about you and maybe even crave your support, forgiveness, or validation. I can’t say what will happen, but give it enough time and you’ll find out.
Just don’t keep your hopes for your reconciliation alive because doing so is going to keep you stuck in the past. Try to enjoy your life while your ex is looking for reasons to unblock you instead.
Get your ex to unblock you with self-respect
When/if your ex unblocks you, your ex probably won’t reach out to you. Your ex will most likely just unblock you to see if it’s safe to leave you unblocked. If’s safe, you’ll remain unblocked. And if it’s not safe and/or your ex changes his or her mind, your ex will block you again.
Dumpers can be unpredictable, so don’t put your hopes on getting unblocked.
If you want to leave a good impression on your ex, you mustn’t contact your ex when your ex unblocks you. That would be a big mistake because you’d empower your ex and kill the interest that had built up during no contact.
To your ex, you are a source of power. Your ex can feel your undying love and desperation and feels extremely empowered by your actions. Everything you do gives your ex power and makes your ex less interested in you.
That’s because your ex doesn’t value someone who doesn’t value himself or herself.
The only way your ex could value you is if you start valuing yourself and prove you don’t need him or her to be happy. Prove that you just need yourself and that you’re capable of dealing with any uncomfortable and painful situation life throws at you.
Always remember that your ex will unblock you when it’s safe for your ex to do so or when your ex can benefit from you. And your ex can benefit from you when you’re strong and in control of your life.
Even if your ex doesn’t unblock you years after the breakup, you still shouldn’t take the initiative. You have nothing to prove to your ex because you’ve got to protect your self-respect and keep moving on.
You need to understand that dumpers block their exes because they associate negative emotions with their exes’ persona. They think their exes aren’t worth the trouble and that it’s better and safer for them to stay away from their exes and date other people.
Some dumpers forgive their exes and forget about the past whereas others hold grudges and refuse to improve the way they perceive their exes.
This depends on how developed they are as people and the things dumpees do to annoy them. If dumpees take revenge, for example, they usually don’t get another chance. They blow their chances because they make their dumpers resent them.
My ex blocked me and unblocked me
If your ex blocked you and unblocked you, it’s possible that your ex checked up on you, expected some kind of reaction from you (which you shouldn’t give), or simply accidentally clicked “unblock.”
Whatever the case may be, dumpers unblock more often than you may think. The best thing you can do is to act as if you didn’t notice and stay in no contact. Remember that if your ex wants to speak with you, he or she will do that no matter what.
You won’t have to message or call your ex because your ex will do all the work for you. Your ex will put the work in because your ex will know that he or she messed up.
So don’t overanalyze everything your ex does and doesn’t do. You probably won’t figure out why your ex did what he or she did—and you don’t need to know. You just need to follow the indefinite no contact rule and focus on living your life.
It can feel tempting to reach out when your ex finally unblocks you, but try not to see it as an opportunity to get back with your ex. Remember that your ex is more than capable of reaching out and that it’s your ex’s turn to make a move and ask to get back together with you.
Are you blocked at the moment? Why do you think your ex blocked you? Post your thoughts, experiences, and questions below the post.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
My ex just unfriended me. She hasn’t blocked me on Messenger though (and I haven’t tried to text her in weeks). I have a bad feeling I know why she unfriended me. I was posting comments about how I hope our paths cross again in the future on one of those ‘poetry’ Facebook sites and I’m guess she saw something. I didn’t repost those on my timeline so I’m not exactly sure how she might have seen my comments but the timing is suspicious. Being unfriended stings though. I’m hoping she doesn’t outright block me on Messenger. I won’t be posting anymore comments anymore and I’ll lie low with her and not do anything else.
I was hoping to get another chance with her, but that seems more unlikely now. I’ll just keep working on myself and try to get over her. If she does contact me in the future then we’ll see what happens. If not I have to just try to stay the course and when I’m ready and at a good place I’ll start to try to date again
Hey. I was in a relationship with a work colleague. We saw each other almost everyday day for 5 months 3 of those months we were in a relationship and told one another we loved each other things appeared great and she even took me away for my birthday. Suddenly a week after my birthday she decided to end the relationship. She stated she wasn’t ready for a relationship. After this we continued to see one another and sleep together but things soon fell apart I questioned her and ultimately might have pushed her away as I didn’t understand why she ended the relationship but still was seeing me and sleeping with me. We tried to be friends but this didn’t work out. We bumped into each other recently and spoke for a few mins just general chit chat and then I found out she blocked me on WhatsApp. I still care for her and I’m finding it hard to know why she did this. I can’t seem to get her out of my head.
Hey, J. It seems this is the kind of woman who isn’t emotionally mature. She might have some issues (childhood/family) that prevents her from forming healthy lasting relationships. It’s very likely she strung you on for her own emotional benefit (to fulfill her needs for companionship) but ultimately you weren’t her choice. She’s not so interested in you that she feels like she needs to do the work on herself to commit. She just used you to avoid dealing with herself. I’m so sorry. But maybe the fact that you couldn’t realize that means you have to do work on yourself also. Otherwise she will feed on your lack of self worth and self knowledge. “Know Thyself”
My ex blocked me after an argument. To be honest it was hurtful. I didn’t try to call him, or get in touch with him because I felt like he was wrong to block me. In any case, I blocked him back. What do you think?
Hi Sarah.
If you blocked him, leave him blocked and keep moving on. He’ll find another way to reach you if he really wants to.
Best,
Zan
The person that blocked me wasn’t a exactly a ex. Just a crush, someone I truly care about. We grew up together started having a crush on her in the fourth grade and then a year later in the fifth grade, as we were going inside she and her best friend were behind me. Her friend mentioned to her “you should ask him?” And the she told her best friend ” you ask him.” And her friend asked which put me in like shock I panicked but I remember that I was in a bad mood. But when I turned around she panicked and was no that’s you ( her friend) and was blushing and her friend was like no it’s you. both were blushing. And I ignored them. But deep down I was like wow. I still live with that regret. I always had feeling for her through high school, during the high school years I moved around a lot and at the time I had her on Facebook. And at the time I started dating another chick and ended up engaged at the time. And the chick I always had feeling for unfriended me on Facebook….. Years went by. I tried moving on I tried adding her again on Facebook and declined. Years went by. And then one day I started getting anxiety and tried it again. Thinking this time it will happen and it didnt, so I sent her a message saying sorry for bothering you it won’t happen again cause I’d probably be dead. I instantly regretted it week went by I told her I’m sorry. I really do care about you. And then she blocked me…. Ever since then I worked on myself ( still working on myself I changed alot tho) and started dating off and on but every time a relationship comes to a end. That image of that person always care about,reappears in my mind. And then I start thinking about her. I made a mistake of creating another Facebook account and told her everything I felt about her since that day in fifth grade and told her again that I care about her and always prayed for her. Yet she then again blocked me, but I felt relived that I told her how I felt. Now I still pray about her. Like safety and hoping we could at least talked again. Maybe have a relationship ship ect. But I changed my thought process on life I still try and manifest/ meditative that she would walk back into my life.
I feel like something is in the works, but I had that feeling before but it ended up destroying me in the end… I just hope it won’t this time.