If your ex blocked you online, you probably pushed your ex too far by begging and pleading, asking your ex questions, or annoying your ex. You did something or asked for something your ex wasn’t capable of giving or reciprocating, so your ex did the only thing he or she could.
Your ex blocked you and made sure you wouldn’t be able to make him or her feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
Now that you’re blocked, your gut instincts are probably telling you to do something to get unblocked. They’re telling you to convince your ex to give you another chance so that things can go back to normal.
But if you try to change the way your ex thinks and feels about you, you’ll, unfortunately, only make things worse. You’ll force your ex to lose even more respect for you and give up on you entirely.
The only thing you can do when your ex blocks you is to leave your ex alone. That’s how you can show that you understand you’ve been too intrusive and that you must now give your ex some space.
You probably already tried to prove your worth to your ex by explaining yourself—and that didn’t work. It backfired because your ex wasn’t ready to listen to you. Your ex saw your reasoning as a sign of weakness and reacted to it in a very destructive manner.
So whatever you do, don’t embarrass yourself by continuing to do that which got you blocked in the first place. Now it’s time to do the opposite, which is to go no contact and let your ex deal with whatever issues he or she needs to deal with alone.
Time and space are the only two things that could make your ex feel safe enough to unblock you when the time is right and enable your ex to reach out. But you need to be on your best behavior so that you don’t push your ex further away and bring a bad reaction out of your ex.
This post is for dumpees whose ex blocked them online. It will give readers some valuable information on how to act after getting blocked.
The fastest way to get your ex’s attention
The easiest way to get an ex who dumped you to notice you is to pull away. Pulling away initially makes your ex happy and relieved. But when enough time goes by, your ex becomes curious and sometimes even nostalgic. He or she wonders how you’ve been and what you’ve been up to, so your ex decides to check up on you.
If you have social media, your ex scrolls through your social profiles and tries to learn more about your post-breakup life. But if there’s not much on there and your ex badly wants to know more about you, your ex reaches out and breadcrumbs you.
By breadcrumbing you, your ex intends to take something from you and give very little in return.
As long as you’re sending your ex emails and doing things your ex doesn’t want you to do, know that this can not and will not happen. It won’t make your ex curious about you because your ex won’t even respect you.
Therefore, distancing yourself from your ex is essential. It’s needed so that your ex can see you’re no longer desperate for attention and that you’ve got enough going on in your life to mind your own business.
The problem is that dumpees want their ex to unblock them right away. They don’t want to wait for their ex to see their worth and unblock them willingly months or years later. That’s why they oftentimes continue to paster their ex through communication channels on which they aren’t blocked yet.
Needless to say, this annoys their ex even more and kills their ex’s respect for them.
If you think about it, your ex blocked you because your ex lost respect for you and decided that receiving messages from you would make him or her uncomfortable, maybe even guilty. That’s why instead of feeling unwanted emotions and putting energy into his/her responses, your ex decided to shut you out of his or her life and not worry about you at all.
Blocking instantly dealt with a situation your ex had no energy and willpower to deal with.
As someone who got blocked, you should ask yourself if you even want someone like your ex in your life. Do you want to get back together with someone who lost respect for you and disrespected you by blocking you?
If the answer is “yes,” you need to start respecting yourself first. You need to stop seeing your ex as the most important person on the planet and fall in love with yourself. When you do that, you might detach and realize that your ex isn’t worth getting back with.
He or she is someone who deals with problems by running away from them—and that’s just not good enough.
Stop what you’re doing and think things over
If you think that sending your ex gifts and love letters will pique your ex’s interest, you’re mistaken.
Your ex is a dumper who’s fallen out of love with you and is no longer receptive to lovey-dovey stuff. Your ex is repulsed by it because it demands emotions and responses your ex isn’t capable of giving. Your ex needs to first process the breakup and find reasons to respect you.
Only then can your ex see your romantic worth and return to you to invest in the relationship.
So while you’re waiting for your ex to come to his or her senses, bear in mind that your ex won’t fall for any tricks and gimmicks. Your ex won’t fall for jealousy tricks, pleas, and baits you throw at him or her.
All your perseverance will do is show that you’re in denial and make your ex block you (or keep you blocked). If you continue to chase after you’ve been blocked, your ex might even get a restraining order against you and try to ruin your image. That will significantly lower your chances of reconciliation and destroy the way you see yourself.
At this moment, you need to know that your ex is in complete control of the breakup. Your ex knows that you’re eager to communicate and that you want to get back together. That’s why you must prove your ex wrong. You must prove that you’re not going to look for alternative ways to get in contact with your ex and that you’re stronger than he or she thinks.
To prove you’re stronger, you, of course, don’t have to contact your ex and tell your ex that directly. You just have to stay in no contact and wait long enough for your ex to improve his or her perceptions of you and unblock you.
This could take months, years, or decades even. It depends on what’s happening in your ex’s life and whether your ex is a moral and understanding person capable of reflecting.
Ways to get unblocked
We’ve already mentioned that your ex won’t like your persistence because it reeks of low self-esteem. It puts your ex off and makes it impossible for him or her to feel the want and need to speak with you.
So if you’re emotionally dependent on your ex for recognition, don’t show your ex that. Don’t appear needy because you’ll push your ex away and hurt yourself in the process.
You should try to send the message that you’re doing fine, not that you’re in pain and need help.
Here are some things you must stop doing:
- reaching out to your ex
- sending your ex gifts
- stalking your ex (online and offline)
- spreading rumors about your ex
- feeling sorry for yourself and posting sad pictures or quotes online
- doing anything that pressures your ex
Here is what you should be doing instead:
- when asked about your ex, briefly mention only positive/neutral things
- love yourself and find happiness on your own
- ease your stress with relaxation techniques
- reflect on your shortcomings and work on becoming the best version of yourself
- get busy with work, hobbies, and friends
- post your accomplishments online (don’t overdo it)
- find your passion
These things will show your ex that you’re not going to guilt-trip, smother, and annoy your ex and that it’s safe for your ex to unblock you and reach out.
When your ex sees it’s safe to unblock you, your ex might still need to find a reason to talk to you.
That reason could be curiosity, guilt, shame, anxiety, advice, boredom, or something only you can provide.
Control your actions
If you got blocked after the breakup because of something you said or did, you obviously need to stop doing that. You need to change the way you act and react to stress so that you can regain control of your emotions and live life independently of your ex.
This should be your ultimate goal because as long as your ex determines what you do, you’re never going to be free. You’re going to be your ex’s slave and a person of very little worth (at least to your ex).
So do your best to grow your emotional strength and change your behavioral patterns. Something’s got to change significantly otherwise your ex will never see you differently. He or she will hold on to the old image of you and use that image for self-empowerment and staying away from you.
Always remember that your ex doesn’t want you to keep doing what you did when you got blocked. Your ex wants to feel respected and get some use out of unblocking you.
While you’re staying in no contact, waiting for your ex to unblock you, you have a lot to figure out. You have to figure out why your ex blocked you and secondly, what’s the worst that can happen now that you’re blocked. Your ex can’t block you again, so worrying about it is not going to help.
It’s in the past and a complete waste of life.
Every second you spend agonizing over your ex’s actions, you put yourself down and shorten your life span.
There’s no denying the fact that stress is a huge killer and the perpetrator of many mental, as well as physical illnesses. Eighty percent of all medical treatments in the U.S. alone are of mental origin. So control how much stress you let into your system and try to accept that you got blocked.
I sincerely hope you’ll remember this when you’re feeling down, stressing over the blocking.
There are many ways to control stress and get yourself out of a downward spiral. The only condition is that you must really, really want to.
If you become self-aware and grow in ways that you need to, you’ll soon stop worrying about whether your ex unblocks you. You’ll know that no matter how badly you messed things up with your ex, worrying about it is just not worth it.
Your life is too valuable to waste it obsessing over someone who blocked you.
My ex blocked me. How do I get my ex to unblock me?
By asking yourself the right question, “How to get my ex to unblock me,” you’re already one step closer to your goal. Sure you may feel like you’re exactly where you were a minute ago, but that’s not the case.
When you ask yourself appropriate questions, you’ll realize that your ex blocked you for a reason. He or she may not have told you what that reason was, but that doesn’t mean you can’t discover it on your own.
People block others because they can’t stand their actions or presence. They’re afraid that they’ll have to expend energy they don’t have and that they’ll feel miserable because of it.
That’s why even if you didn’t do anything to annoy your ex but still got blocked, you need to understand that your ex is irritated and sees you in a bad light. Your ex wants space and needs to get it otherwise your ex could ruin your reputation and leave you blocked for a very long time.
Maybe forever.
Who you are and how you present yourself is very important because you can’t impress and attract an ex if you aren’t happy with yourself. You can only make things worse because you make your ex feel all the wrong emotions.
Below is Maslow’s pyramid of the human needs a person needs to feel fulfilled. You might find it interesting.
There are no tricks to get your ex to unblock you. But the best way to get unblocked is usually to stop doing what got you blocked in the first place. Instead of making your life all about your ex, get busy with life.
Hang out with friends, get a (better) job, take a vacation, and do something fun. Your ex needs to know that you’re focusing on yourself and that you’re doing fine on your own.
My ex blocked me on everything. Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, everywhere…
If you pushed your ex to the other side of the planet, this doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way forever. For now, you need to stop doing things that aren’t working for you and give your ex what he or she wants.
So give your ex enough space and time to breathe. Even though you want things to go back to normal right now, it’s not going to happen when and how you want it to.
It’s going to happen when your ex wants it to because your ex has to come back and unblock you on his or her own terms. That’s the only way you can have a balanced friendship or romantic relationship with your ex.
You just can’t convince a person who isn’t in a convincing state of mind to please you. For your ex to cooperate, your ex must go through the 5 stages of a breakup and make the necessary emotional progress to let go of the past and the emotions that come with it.
People usually say, “Whatever is meant to happen will happen. If we’re meant to be, we will be”. It’s a bit of a cliche, but it’s true. The breakup is no longer in your control, so you must let go of control and leave it up to fate.
If your ex starts valuing you, rest assured that your ex will show you that when he or she is ready. Don’t try to rush it because rushing your ex will set you up for failure and give you a lot of pain. Pain that you don’t need.
My ex blocked me out of anger
Humans are emotional creatures. We make emotional decisions and often go back on those decisions when time or experiences change our minds.
For your ex to change his/her mind, something or someone must influence your ex and show your ex that keeping you blocked is not the most mature thing to do.
Imagine your ex holding a weighing scale. At one end of the scale are you and all the overwhelming emotions you made your ex feel. At the other end, however, is the world – the experiences your ex encounters and the way he or she feels about them.
At this moment, the scale is completely unbalanced. You’ve put so much pressure on your ex that your ex can’t even think about you. Thinking about you probably makes your ex feel extremely uncomfortable.
But as time goes on and you stay away from your ex, your ex is going to deal with the world and process some smothering emotions. Your ex is going to see that you’re not the main cause of his or her problems and become more interested in unblocking you and speaking with you.
This means that your ex will singlehandedly do all the work you’re trying to do. You won’t even have to convince your ex to unblock you because the world will do it for you.
Since you can only control your side of the scale, you need to let your ex experience life without you.
When he or she encounters difficulties and hits a rough patch, the weighing scale will balance itself out and enable your ex to think about you and maybe even crave your support, forgiveness, or validation. I can’t say what will happen, but give it enough time and you’ll find out.
Just don’t keep your hopes for your reconciliation alive because doing so is going to keep you stuck in the past. Try to enjoy your life while your ex is looking for reasons to unblock you instead.
Get your ex to unblock you with self-respect
When/if your ex unblocks you, your ex probably won’t reach out to you. Your ex will most likely just unblock you to see if it’s safe to leave you unblocked. If’s safe, you’ll remain unblocked. And if it’s not safe and/or your ex changes his or her mind, your ex will block you again.
Dumpers can be unpredictable, so don’t put your hopes on getting unblocked.
If you want to leave a good impression on your ex, you mustn’t contact your ex when your ex unblocks you. That would be a big mistake because you’d empower your ex and kill the interest that had built up during no contact.
To your ex, you are a source of power. Your ex can feel your undying love and desperation and feels extremely empowered by your actions. Everything you do gives your ex power and makes your ex less interested in you.
That’s because your ex doesn’t value someone who doesn’t value himself or herself.
The only way your ex could value you is if you start valuing yourself and prove you don’t need him or her to be happy. Prove that you just need yourself and that you’re capable of dealing with any uncomfortable and painful situation life throws at you.
Always remember that your ex will unblock you when it’s safe for your ex to do so or when your ex can benefit from you. And your ex can benefit from you when you’re strong and in control of your life.
Even if your ex doesn’t unblock you years after the breakup, you still shouldn’t take the initiative. You have nothing to prove to your ex because you’ve got to protect your self-respect and keep moving on.
You need to understand that dumpers block their exes because they associate negative emotions with their exes’ persona. They think their exes aren’t worth the trouble and that it’s better and safer for them to stay away from their exes and date other people.
Some dumpers forgive their exes and forget about the past whereas others hold grudges and refuse to improve the way they perceive their exes.
This depends on how developed they are as people and the things dumpees do to annoy them. If dumpees take revenge, for example, they usually don’t get another chance. They blow their chances because they make their dumpers resent them.
My ex blocked me and unblocked me
If your ex blocked you and unblocked you, it’s possible that your ex checked up on you, expected some kind of reaction from you (which you shouldn’t give), or simply accidentally clicked “unblock.”
Whatever the case may be, dumpers unblock more often than you may think. The best thing you can do is to act as if you didn’t notice and stay in no contact. Remember that if your ex wants to speak with you, he or she will do that no matter what.
You won’t have to message or call your ex because your ex will do all the work for you. Your ex will put the work in because your ex will know that he or she messed up.
So don’t overanalyze everything your ex does and doesn’t do. You probably won’t figure out why your ex did what he or she did—and you don’t need to know. You just need to follow the indefinite no contact rule and focus on living your life.
It can feel tempting to reach out when your ex finally unblocks you, but try not to see it as an opportunity to get back with your ex. Remember that your ex is more than capable of reaching out and that it’s your ex’s turn to make a move and ask to get back together with you.
Are you blocked at the moment? Why do you think your ex blocked you? Post your thoughts, experiences, and questions below the post.
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My ex (dismissive avoidant) broke up with me (anxious preoccupied) a month ago after we got into an argument and I found he had been flirting with his coworker for two months. He left and said we would talk tomorrow. He never did and I found he was messaging his ex-gf. Long story short, we go back and forth for 3 weeks where we have phone calls which are productive and he decides he wants to try to get back together. We decide to spend a weekend together which he bailed early on because he forgot he had a wedding to go to. We got into an argument before he left but we said we would drop it and he would call that night after the wedding. He didn’t and I followed up with a message asking if he would call. He said he was busy but did not apologize or reschedule. I told him he broke my trust and blocked him out of frustration. I took 3 days of time and then unblocked to ask him to talk about things. He said he was willing to but he is moving on and not interested in working on things anymore. I find out in those 3 days he had already started talking to other women and by the time we finally got on a call 4 days later, he had gone out on a date with one. Now he has blocked me and I am devastated. What should I do in this case? I feel lost and I want answers but he is no longer replying to messages.
My ex and I have known each other for years. 7 years ago we were part of a group of friends: i had a crush on him but never acted on it (later found out he had one on me too and was too scared to admit it at the time as well). While with my first bf a couple years later he told me he was in love with me but i was in a relationship so i didn’t really care. Always felt as if he was the one that got away tho. Fast forward to beginning of this year: we talked and admitted our feelings to each other and jumped straight into the relationship. He was extremely Proud in showing me off and showering me with attention and expensive dates. He has his own company so when covid-19 happened, he cried and said he couldn’t focus on both me (btw his first ever girlfriend) and saving his company: so he asked for some space to focus fully on saving his business but said he didn’t want to lose me. I agreed and checked in on him from time to time. After a month restrictions in my country were being lifted a little and I wanted to know whether he still wanted to be with me or not, and if so, how we could work on “us” again. I called but he told me he was in a meeting and that he would call me the next day. The next day I woke up to a text in which he broke up with me. He stated he couldn’t be and didn’t want to be in a relationship because he needed to fight for his business. He told me he still loved me and always would. No sorry’s, only “i know it sucks/is inconvenient”. That was end of May. We didn’t keep in touch: i at first tried to contact him and beg him to come back; he kept replying he couldn’t “at the moment” and that “he wasn’t ready yet”. Then I went no contact for about a month. After a month i reached out and asked to grab a coffee. He didn’t reply and when i sent a second message a week later he dramatically replied that “i didn’t give him time to think and answer and that he couldn’t do this”. I then left him alone again for a month. In August we only were in touch when my grandpa died and I asked him for his uncle’s number to let him know: he replied with condolences for me and my family right away. Two weeks ago i asked him for coffee again, he did not open the message or reply. Today i texted him again asking if he could please answer me even if the answer to grabbing coffee would be “no”. He finally replied, again dramatically stating that i stalked him and that he couldn’t do this and that he wants contact to stop from my end. He then blocked me but still follows me on instagram and faceboook. What do I do? Have I screwed up everything? Please someone reply to me..
Sarah.
Hi how did it all turn out ? I think he got you then decide it was not for him and wanted a reason to get out
so I have a confusing one for you. a few years ago I was very close with this girl. Thing is, her dad was the pastor of the church I had just become a member of. Her and I became very close emotionally, though we never dated. Originally she sent messages to me but then I became attached and did most of the initiating from there. We had a 5-year friendship; and then she just ended it, in what seemed out of the blue to me–the only umbridge I got was her brother telling me I’m barely tolerable. As much as I just tried to walk away and be silent, This would trigger my first mental health episode, (my family all his mental illness, I wasn’t diagnosed but experienced symptoms of schizo bipolar–hallucinations, paranoias, and depression). In my state I turned myself into the police, which I know now, was weird, but at the time my brain wasn’t functioning properly and I had no idea what was going on. But I only add this to say the police wound up calling the pastor and my friend, so I’m almost sure this probably made everything worse; the police would bring me to mental health, where the assistant pastor visited me, and I explained what had happened. He told me I should try talking to the pastor…so I did–who said there’s no animosity and they care about me, but wanted me to move forward, and that I could come to main service but not bible studies; which felt very disrespectful. When I got home I had found that my friend had blocked me everywhere. But here’s the weird part–her sister, the father, and the mother would still like my facebook posts and also send birthday wishes–but also blocked me on insta. I left them alone for months and eventually decided to move away–so I figured with that in mind and with the liking, why not reach out one more time—and got many more mixed signals with the pastor being very excited to meet with me and saying I am welcome and be treated with respect, which was followed up with more blocking, and then at the end of our meeting telling me I am only allowed to contact him to ask questions about the Bible, so I felt disrespected without even having to go back. After the initial incident, I never went back to church, and other than the 2 times I mentioned, didn’t contact them, and haven’t talked to the ex-friend at all. However, with pandemic I did wind up watching their church livestream, and apparently they could see I was watching–this was years after the incident. They said hello (my name) with an exclamation point–but since it was the facebook page who typed it–I didn’t know if it was the pastor or assistant pastor. In any case I’ve done all I can to move on, found a decent church–every time I seem happy; thats when I start seeing their likes coming in–I finally just unfriended all of them because it drives me crazy hoping they reach out when they never actually do.
I am Blessing, I have a guy my boyfriend i wnt call him my ex cause i still have hope to be with him again he is called val. He is the best thing that have ever happened to me. But I cheated and the painful part is that it was my ex I cheated with I.e someone I dated. But after that I felt guilty and told it to my boyfriend which I asked for his forgiveness and no my guy have blocked me both on WhatsApp, calls, messenger I mean everywhere. I dont know what to do am not sure I can do without him. I want him back to my life. Am so much depressed now. Some one should pls tell him am sorry am truly sorry. What can I do to have him back to my life
well here is my situation, i took my ex for granted and she blocked me everywhere without closure but facebook messenger. i texted her after 2 weeks of no contact that i realised some faults that i made hope we can talk in the phone. but she replied it with there is no going back and blocked me everywhere in even facebook, phone, etc.and few days later i saw she even blocked my sister. so i blocked her close friends and family members who can inform her. also i was not blocked in twitter but not friedns anymore but i have open account so she was seeing my twitts. so i blocked her from even in twitter since i was not able to see her twitts. my question is i didnt had a chance to say i was sorry and i understand you because she doesn’t let me and by the time of the heat in the first month after break up i did mistakes i guess by blocking her friends and family etc. and now she is in another city. its been 2 months of no contact. should i send letter ? or should i do anything that to make it clear i understand her and apologise for it, or did i made what i could ?
(im asking this because ; dating guy said in his youtube videos , i should inform her that im sorry and understand her and i am changed, it was mistake to take her for granted. and if she doesnt accept still, then i should go for no contact again)
Dated a guy that fit every single virtue I value for over a year and got dumped. It has been 6 months now. Made a lot of post breakup mistakes. I’m blocked and outrageously depressed. I have gotten professional help and it had no affect at all. I get up every morning feeling disappointed that I didn’t die in my sleep. He was my best friend and lover. I feel absolutely no attraction at all toward others people still after 6 months. I still love him like I did when I met him. His behavior shows signs of extreme guilt and he is hot and cold always. I’m being lead on while being pushed away at the same time. I got blocked bcuz I couldn’t put up with it anymore and lost my temper. He told me he wanted to b friends still and that he hasn’t decided if he wants me back or not just weeks ago. I miss him so much that it undermines my entire life even after a month of no contact. Help, before my life is ruined forever.
Hi Mh.
Your life is going to get better if you stop engaging in conversation with your ex. Trust me on that. Focus completely on yourself, find new hobbies, make new friends, and get busy. If you do all of this, you won’t have a lot of time to think about your ex. You’ll push him out of your subconscious and become happy with yourself again.
Hang in there!
Zan
Hi Mh, I feel for u. My ex of 3 years broke up with me the week before lockdown and went online dating straightaway. He blocked me weeks before we broke up apart from email and told me he still loved me. I spent 12 weeks begging him and am now 11 weeks NC. I miss him so much but I have seen his profiles on line and they r all so desperate and negative. I now know he needs space. I don’t regret my begging as that was how I processed it. Time will make it better and u actually might see a different side to him. I love my ex but he is still single, negative and the only thing I really want now is for him to acknowledge the breakup rather than just block, ignore and make out I meant nothing to him.
Stay positive x
Hey
We was pretty close to getting back together. Then lock down happened and spun things in the air for the both of us.
Me & my ex had a falling out. I called him out on his hot & cold behavior he didn’t like that at all. He then would send me nice messages while drunk for a few days, I replied to them normally I wasn’t over the top. Then he completely blocked me out of nowhere. Does that mean he is confused about things? I am now reaching week 4 of no contact & not sure what to do?
Hi Shell.
Your ex felt angry or smothered with you. He now needs to be left alone to process what had happened. I suggest you give him the freedom to do that and create a fulfilling life for yourself.
Stay in no contact at all costs.
Zan
i was in a LDR for 8 months (Gay couple). We met trough a social app around April and spoke for 2 months before we met up in June. in the 2 months we had text all day, video and voice call everyday. we decided to delete the apps after we said i love you. The day we met we stayed together for 6 nights and by the second day we were firm in getting attached. I went back to my country and life continued…Blissful as always.. we did the same. text all day, spoke on videos. It was a wonderful relationship… of course there were arguments… but solvable… reassurance issues, trust issues… but all of this is common in LDR. we met again in August for a week long holiday. The day we met he said ” i think i have lost interest in you and i may not love as much anymore. we chatted about it and he said he sorry for saying it as he was emotional.. It was all good within an hour. He treats me like a prince.. vice versa… holiday went well.. we met again in September in his country and it was a blissful holiday without any arguments.. In October i went over again for my birthday. he did an amazing birthday for me with dinners, gifts etc etc,. In November i could not fly as i had a lot of work. I flew up in December for his birthday and did a celebration for him. i stayed for 2 nights as we were flying off for a 10 day holiday for Christmas and new years. in that 2 day holiday for his birthday. the day i was flying home to my country he said the same thing… “i think i have lost interest in you and i may not love as much anymore”. i said ok if this is what you want then i cant say anything .. we chatted about it and then he said he regrets what he said and does not want to loose me, also said that he has a lot of emotions and never listen to it if he said it again as he needs me to guide him and never give up on him. i agreed because i could tell he loves me a lot unconditionally and whenever i dont text or ask hows his day he will get very emotional.. basically hes a attention seeker and drama boy. We met 2 weeks later for our 10 day holiday..everything was good…a few arguments here and there but it was normal. we had one major argument which he said the same thing again ” i think i have lost interest in you and i may not love as much anymore” and i told him look you told me to guide you so im not going to believe you this time…. and he said no this time is for real. i talked him out and he still did not listen. i said fine. ill go back to my country. i cant let my heart suffer anymore. he came to his senses and said hes sorry… we cried and patched back… holiday went ok and came back 1st week of Jan… im suppose to be in his country in feb to meet up as we miss each other i booked my tickets as soon as we returned from the 10 day holiday. we had a argument which i started on end Jan and he said the something again which this time sounded very firm and said we are breaking up. we continued to talk but nothing worked. it was so dull even the next day. i told him im seeing you next week lets talk things.. he agreed. then 2 days later he said he would want to bring his best friend ( a girl) and our talk is just out of humanity and his decision is going to be the same (break up) and i tried convincing etc to rethink his decision. he said he will but he knows the answer is a no. i kept texting calling stupidly because i was depressed and emotional and then he got fed up. blocked me off whats app, Instagram Facebook and any form of communication and said we are mot meeting anymore and he doesnnt want to have anything to to with me and said good luck finding a partner who doesn’t loose interest in me for the lies ive said and the things i did.. i have not lied to him and he just assumed it all without giving me a chance to explain. its been 3 weeks now and ive tried contacting him from diff emails, whats app etc and no reply. he would block all those new numbers. on Valentines i sent him a gift and asked for a chance to speak for closure. he did not respond to it at all. i texted last night and he blocked again. i told my self that i wont text or contacting him again as probably needs space. so i will do the no contact.
what do you guys think about this?
what should i do?
do you think we can get back together?
i know he is trying to find dates. should i be concerned? what if he moves on?
i wont fly down as i will want a mutual meet up not me turning up at his place and scaring him more.
I am depressed as hell and we both are into each other. we planned to move in soon and grow old together. it wasn’t just talks it was something we both meant. please advice me.
wanted to add: he said im a partner he always wished for and its his issues which he cant handle. kinda confused what he wants or saying.
Can someone pls reply me.
My LDR ex left me about 2 weeks ago and he said he still loves me but he couldn’t handle my emotional issues and how my anxiety and depression hurted him too much. He blocked me on every communication possible. But he even told my dad he still loved me but he just couldn’t handle me anymore. And he left. We were together for 1 year and we traveled and we had lots of compassion for each other. I really thought he was the one. But do you think he will come back?? He was very controlling and jealous towards me in the beginning. But he saw me has toxic and he said he wasn’t going to come back. He wanted someone to be closer to him and by his side. It hurts me when he said that when he broke up with me. Do you really think he will miss me or maybe even reach out to me in some point even tho he blocked me out of his life?? Please help!!
im sorry to hear. maybe giving him some space will actually do good. he will come around.
Hi zan
7 months ago my ex blocked me after I was over texting her when her attraction towards me was dropping and she was ignoring me at the same tym I lost my sister in an accident,a week later she blocked me all of sudden midnyt, it was the worst phase for me to undergo and a month later things went more worse I lost my dad passed away from an heart attack,i did try reaching her out in desperation by another account in instagram she was cold as ice and blocked me again,it was the worst thing and the last tym i tried reaching out was after 3months after she blocked me and she blocked me again when I made an new account and texted her. Since then I’ve worked on no contact and focused on myself,realised I have my self respect and I need to get my best version And I worked on my life and I miss her but I definitely won’t text her.i am working on myself i do feel anxiety attacks cause of her and my loved ones demise I know I love her too Wat should I do to get to my best version and reduce my anxiety
Hi Zan,
My ex and I have been broken up for 2 months. 1 month ago we met up in person and we hit it off really well to the point we even considered getting back together but nothing came of it. We stayed in touch as friends and then she told me that she was close to getting a new relationship on tinder. I told her I was pleased for her but but because I felt like this was a move to try and make me jealous and take action I tried to ask her if she still had any feelings for me. After telling her how I truly felt she blocked me on Facebook. I did one month of no contact prior to all of this but it didn’t work and this is really hurting me because we shared alot and were very intimate.
Will she ever unblock me and give me another chance ?
Hi,we were best frnds and in relation from 4years,our parents dint accept ,so we waited and many issues happend,we messed up his career deprived of this issues one day he messaged me that he is not correct for me,his career was gone how can he marry me,after nc 3months period i messaged him then he again said i got everything in life except u,v will marry,i called other day he dint life he said need time to think ,if im good enough i will come to u,he dint reply,i was in a rush bcoz in my home dey are urging for arrange marriage,later again he dint reply ,i told about arrange marriage guy to him he was like im not enough for you and go for gd guy he almost said no guy is gf for u and he blocked me i dont have time for long nc period,wat shud i do,i donno whats going on his mind,and wat shud i summarize
Thanks in advance
We were together for almost 10 years, living together for almost 3. In October he moved to his parents after an argument, however he kept coming to our place everyday, sometime spending the night, sometimes not. At that point I figured he was just mad and would be coming home soon. In Nivember I found he had a Tinder acct and was looking to date. That hurt my feelings tremendously. I dont think it was going well because he still hung out with me on a regular basis, and yes we regularly had sex still. Then one day in early December he logged onto my computer to check email and did not log out. I accidentally found when I went to google that I could see his history. I KNOW I SHOULDNT HAVE LOOKED but I did. Over the next 2 weeks he was hot and cold, one day sending me sweet texts, the next ignoring my messages. Then last week I loaned him my car to go to his class 50 miles away. I took his car. I used google maps to see if he were headed home so I could get ready and look cute for him when he got there. However when he got there he came in screaming that I was a crazy bitch and he knew I was following him. He left and blocked me on everything. I am having a very hard time even tho I know the final straw was entirely my fault. Im not sure he will ever unblock me since I clearly broke his trust. Not sure if there is anything I can even do at this point to fix things.
Sis, chill. Been there done that. He’s just acting this way because he can see you desperately love him. Do the no contact period. You must!! Go out with people he doesn’t know. Take pictures and post on your social media. Leave the lines open. Start by healing and then go on dates post suggestive stuff to show you’re happy and to make him jealous. Trust me… He will come back. In my case, came back when I was already in love with another and honestly that saved me because I can’t date him ever again. He called you a crazy b***h. Make him swallow his words. Respect is important.
we were together for 5 months.
He is a lot older than me (i’m 20 he is 35). He always wanted things to be done as he wished. And because i liked him so much, I did exactly what he wanted when he wanted.
We did have an amazing time together though. And I really felt very secure and happy around him. He has been through a lot in the past (depression ect) and I felt that, when he was with me, he was really happy too. We just clicked in so many ways.
Anyway, he said he wanted things to be cazual, but he acted like he wanted more. So i got confused. And when I went to his house to talk about it, he just acted very mean to me and i ended up leaving his house crying. The next day he blocked me on everything. It’s been about 2 weeks and I have no way of contacting him..
I really miss him.. but I feel like he just wanted to play with me and didn’t really care at all.. I’m really scared that I will never see him / talk to him again.. and it makes me sad
Hi Venus.
Don’t be scared.
Your ex chose to be on his own, so your first priority right now should be to recover from the breakup. Become independent and focus on increasing your happiness.
And remember. If your ex ever comes back it’s when you’ve found your own purpose in life.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi,
I have broken up with my ex bf 2 months ago after meeting his mum for 2 weeks. We knew each other 2 months and then in a long distance relationship for 5 months. After leaving the msg he loved another girl and felt tired and pressure of a long d relationship, he ghosted me but not blocked me. For the 3rd day, I phoned him and his new gf answered me not to disturb them. He also said there was no future of our relationship and he felt I didn’t love him enough to sacrifice my things in my city.
After no contact for 1 month, I re-contacted him and asked him sending my personal things back. He answered ok but didn’t actually send. And in the afternoon of 2 weeks later, I tried to make him jealous by changing my profile pic with holding flowers and asked him anywhere good to play of his city. He immediately sent my personal things to me within 1 hour after receiving my msg (I knew the sending time after I received the package a few days later) and blocked the whatsapp in that evening. So what should I do? Thank you.
Excuse me, anyone can give some advice?
Hi Constance.
You can’t do anything directly. Go indefinite no contact and get rid of your expectations of him. He’s not coming back as long as he’s with another girl
Stay strong!
Zan
Hi Constance.
I suggest that you don’t message him again and self-prioritize. Your ex wants to be left alone and won’t communicate with you for as long as he feels pressured, so help him relax by staying in no contact permanently.
Best regards,
Zan
My girlfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. I was sick and was overwhelmed by grief. I didn’t pay attention to people around me. She saw it as an act of pushing her away. The night before the breakup she asked for time and I begged and pleaded. Next day, she dumped me through text and blocked my number right away. My last words were taken from me. The worse thing is my best friend passed away and she didn’t reach out to me when she knew. What should I do? Will she unblock and reach out to me again? Or is there no hope?
Hi Gher.
I can’t say for sure whether she’ll unblock you, but most dumpers do. That’s why all I can say is to be patient and focus on improving your shortcomings and your life in the meantime.
Best,
Zan
Thanks. I have been in no contact for almost 3 months. From what heard, every time my friends reach out to her she blocked them too. I feel like she’s hurt and overwhelmed. Blocking is cruel as it like an emotional slap. I have never blocked anyone and this is my first time being blocked/dumped too. I am drowning in the same ocean I was crossing for her. I hope time and space will heal us. I hope life’s path will reconnect us or make her stronger to reach out to me again.
Hi Gher.
Stay strong and don’t break no contact.
Your ex blocked you out of immaturity and a lack of self-awareness.
Be better than her.
Zan
Hi,
So this might be lengthy but I am so lost as to what to do. My ex and I went no contact after I took a few months of sending long paragraphs of crap. Long story short, after using no contact and messaging, we were finally getting back to good terms. He then told me that he was in a relationship, so I went no contact again. After a week, he messaged me saying he missed me and we started talking again. However, he would wait until I messaged him, or would only message when he was drunk about all the things that reminded him of me.
I know that the relationship we had was the best he has ever had and vice versa. Over the last two weeks, I was getting frustrated as I had followed him back on social media but he did not bother to. And was following girls back but not me. So I knew this was a spiteful act on his part since I had taken him off everything to begin with.
I ended up acting up spontaneously and lashed out because he would take forever to respond to my messages and I know he would check whatsapp to see if I had changed my pictures (he only used whatsapp for me). I know that people get busy and before we ended and started talking again, this sort of waiting time on conversations was never a problem. However, for some odd reason this time it really bothered me that he was almost playing a game with me. He had also just started using endearing names with me which I was sure he was still invested in me. But I also feel like he needed to stop these games cause we had never started off with a problem like this.
So he responded aggressively stating that he didn’t owe me anything and I agree, he didn’t. So, on spontaneity, I too responded with a lot more harsher words stating that I was travelling to meet up with someone and spitefully sent him pictures of a guy I was talking to.
We went back and forth and he insulted me as Chris described in this article on something very personal. However, I did not react to it until… well until a few days after. He sent me a message stating that he did not want to hear from me ever again and I sent him one last long message the day after.
To get back at him for the personal insult about me, while I was on vacation – I sent him a picture of me dressed up and looking really hot and commented on the insult he had given me in retaliation. He opened it right away within the second. However, he then decided to block my number off whatsapp at 2:30 in the morning after that message (I am sure this decision was made at that hour with a lot of alcohol in his system as well).
Well, now and for the past week, I have been blocked on whatsapp but not any social media.
I also know that he is checking whatsapp as I have asked a couple of friends to add the number to see if he goes online every now and then. I know that when someone blocks you they are still able to check up on your pictures and changes made but I can’t do anything because he has blocked me.
So at this point, I have stepped away and going to go with the no contact rule. But, how long does this blocking persist until? It is driving me insane. I know that I made a mistake but so did he with the insult.
I am confused, it has been a week and a half since the block and since my last message.
I am unsure whether to message him stating that we both were wrong as we left off on a bad note or to just leave it alone until he unblocks and messages?
Is there any way of telling how long he will take to unblock especially when he is creeping me?
Hello,
I’m going through a rough time and I don’t know how to process everything. Basically things started falling apart, she became more busy and spent less time with me the last month or so. After an argument one night she wanted to break up but I talked her out of it. The next day she said a month of NC is the other option. But I figured she’d just get over me anyway so I talked her out of that too. A month later she finally ended things. No matter what I said. She wanted NC for at least a couple weeks to a month but I didn’t give it to her. I kept pleading and begging until she got pissed at me, saying mean things. One week later I find out she’s on Tinder (even though I was too to deal with it all) so I got mad and sent an angry text. Two weeks later I found out she was with some guy at a party so I texted her out of jealousy again. I bombarded her social media and phone with messages until she finally blocked me. One month after the breakup and I get blocked. I managed to send a drunk apology that night over Facebook, to which she was a bit receptive to. Except it wasn’t very proper and I didn’t say I accept responsibility or that it wouldn’t happen again. I just said sorry for how I treated her during and after the relationship. She didn’t reply back. It’s been one week since that happened. I thought of sending a sober clean slate message but I don’t know if it’ll make a difference now. I really want her back or at least to unblock me. I hate feeling like I’ve been blocked from someone’s life who I’d been intimate with. I also annoyed her friends that same night by reaching out to them, professing my love for my ex. I pissed them off to where one blocked me as well. I know her friends don’t have a great impression of me. It’s not even so much I want to get back (which I do) but I feel terrible that this is how things could be left forever. I can’t live with the guilt
Is there still hope or am I just in denial?
Hi Zan,
My ex broke up with me 5 weeks ago, he went to Freshers and seemed to enjoy his new life too much. We were together all through school but he moved on within a few days. He met someone and blocked me on all Social Media, I did ask him why after all we have been through, he told me he didn’t love me and to forget him yet the day before he told me, he loved me and missed me.
He hasn’t unblocked me messaged me he just talks badly about, he blames everything on me.
I’ve done no contact for the 5 weeks but I’m guessing he’s enjoying partying, drinking and flirting more than thinking about me and all the years we were together.
Will he ever unblock me? He’s always been very jealous of me having any male attention so it doesn’t make any sense.
Kind Regards
Isabelle
Hi Isabelle.
Most dumpers eventually unblock their dumpees and chances are your ex will too.
So stay in NC until that happens.
Best,
Zan
He blocked me because I tried to get him jealous To get him back ( we were trying to be friends) and said I was playing games too much. When he did I texted him from my work number and lost it on him and how I didn’t like what he did in our relationship and how I felt with all the bad things. Tried to hurt him I guess and that made him a lot more angrier with me. Now he doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Hi Mindy.
Now that you’ve tried to play dirty, it leaves you with no choice but to wait for him to process what’s happened.
Go no contact and wait there until he becomes receptive enough to contact you.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi Zan, my ex and I were together for three months but we had gotten very serious. We discussed marriage, kids, moving in , and had actively planned to do so by the end of this year. Almost all of our disagreements were centered around the fact that he was never truthful with his emotions and he did not want to make himself vulnerable because he equated vulnerability with weakness, loss of independence and control, and suffocation. We had a meaningful conversation about his past, why he acts the way he does, and how it’s impacting the relationship. He expressed gratitude towards my efforts to understand him and even cried. I told him that if he could not be emotionally available then he did not need to be in a relationship. He was adamant that he was secure in himself and never leaving. 7 days later, he broke up with me. He said that his feelings were still there but that he needed to work on himself so that he didn’t hurt me anymore. I didn’t make any break up mistakes and immediately went into no contact. 3 weeks later, he unfollowed me and unadded me on all platforms. I’m very confused because I have not contacted him since the break up and I know for a fact that he is not even considering dating or seeing anyone else. Can you give me any insight and recommendations?