Does She Miss Me During No Contact?

Whether a woman mises you during no contact depends on many things, including what your romantic relationship was like, how she thinks of you as a person, why the relationship ended, what her attachment style is, how she copes with breakups and difficult emotions, how long it’s been since she left, and whether she’s staying busy and already found a replacement for you.

If the breakup just happened and she found someone new to date, it would be almost impossible for her to miss you. The relief from the breakup and the validation from the new person would make her feel too good to become nostalgic and miss you. Your ex would have to get involved with someone emotionally incompatible, neglectful, selfish, or abusive to get a reality check and think about happier times in the past.

The same goes for an ex who blames you for the breakup and refuses to acknowledge her relationship-destroying behaviors. Such an ex doesn’t miss you during no contact and might not even miss you after no contact. If she doesn’t soon learn how she contributed to the breakup, she’ll keep thinking poorly of you even if you didn’t do much to hurt her and break her trust.

Victim mentalities are defense mechanisms that prevent dumpers from reflecting on their problems and missing their ex. They stop them from remembering their ex’s positive traits and behaviors and force them to keep thinking about the bad ones. This is how they feel good about themselves and stay in control of the breakup.

As long as they feel in control (negatively empowered), they don’t indulge in recollection of past events and miss their ex.

To miss their ex, they must process their negative thoughts and beliefs and respect their ex. They must at least partially acknowledge their flaws and mistakes and consider their ex someone they benefitted from and can benefit from again. That’s their prerequisite for missing an ex they abandoned and replaced or tried to replace with better people or things.

It’s unlikely that your ex will miss you out of the blue. Your ex will need a reason to miss you. This could be boredom, loneliness, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, emotional overwhelm, a song that reminds her of you, romantic feelings, shame, anxiety, a breakup, or feelings of guilt.

Something or someone will have to change your ex’s thoughts, make your ex emotional, and incentivize her to reflect and reach out to you.

You probably don’t care too much about the reason that would make her miss you and contact you, but you should. You should care because she could miss you as someone she spent time with or as a romantic partner. One is romantic and the other is non-romantic.

If she misses you non-romantically (as a friend), she could give you the wrong idea, get your hopes up, and make you pursue her. That would end badly for you as she could reject you heartlessly, push you away, and make you feel stupid for thinking she missed you as a partner and wanted you back.

Most dumpers only miss the friendship aspect of the relationship. They remember the fun times, conversations, jokes, and support they received from their ex-partner. Sometimes they feel bad for hurting their ex, so they initiate conversations and express how they feel.

They say:

• I miss you
• I think about you a lot
• I’m really sorry
• Do you miss me?
• I love you

They want to tell their ex they’ve been thinking about their ex and missing him or her. They don’t want to get back together; they just want to express their feelings and show their ex they have no hard feelings. This lets them alleviate their guilty conscience and helps them close the chapter with their ex.

So if you want your ex back, keep in mind that your ex could miss you in ways you want her to or in ways you least want her to (as a friend). If you misread her feelings and intentions, you could get your hopes up and get strung along by an ex who has no desire to reconnect intimately.

She could make you think she loves you but that she’s shy or scared to get back together, which could make you overinvest in her (emotionally and time-wise) and cause you a lot of problems when you realize she missed you only as a friend.

Hence, it’s in your best interest to keep your hopes low. Instead of interpreting her nostalgia as romantic nostalgia, do some digging and find out what she misses about you and how she misses you. Her response will tell you whether talking to her is worth your time or if it will only get you friend-zoned and used.

In this post, we’ll talk about whether your ex-girlfriend misses you during no contact and help you figure out her thoughts and feelings.

Does she miss me during no contact?

If you haven’t heard from your ex, your ex probably doesn’t miss you (yet). Your ex is still enjoying the space and quiet and needs more time to rediscover your worth and miss you. It could be that your ex is curious about you already and that she just needs to encounter some kind of problem that makes her miss you and want to talk to you.

She might need to get a bad grade at school or have a stressful day at work to miss your attention and support. That wouldn’t mean that your ex misses your affection but that she misses having someone caring and reliable to talk to. Someone who always validated her and made her feel better.

Exes often reach out weeks or months after the breakup. Usually, they just want to check up on their ex and ease their guilt, but other times, they miss their friend and hope to indulge in conversations. When they reach out due to nostalgia and desire for friendship, they don’t talk about relationship problems and ways to get back together.

They talk about their new life and the fun things from the past. Usually, they appear relaxed, which is one of the main signs that they have no intentions of getting back together. If they wanted a relationship, they’d be afraid of rejection and appear anxious and intimidated by their ex.

They’d know that their ex could reject them if they don’t appear respectful, caring, nice, and regretful.

So don’t think that an ex who misses you wants you back as well. An ex could miss you without wanting to reconcile. She could just want to talk for old times’ sake and stop talking to you when she’s done indulging in nostalgia and finds someone better to talk to. That’s when she could end the conversation and make you wonder why she appeared so nice and inquisitive.

Her nostalgia could make you think she has developed feelings and that it’s only a matter of time before she comes back and gives you the love you crave. And that’s very dangerous. If you think of ordinary nostalgia as romantic nostalgia, you will stay hung up on your ex and make healing extremely difficult for yourself.

You’ll spend most of your days thinking about your ex, waiting for her to reach out, and wondering if it’s your turn to initiate and bond.

My advice is to learn how to distinguish between romantic and non-romantic missing. Learning when your ex misses you and when she doesn’t will prevent you from analyzing your ex’s behavior when she just wants to reminisce.

What you should be asking yourself is whether you’re okay with your ex to miss you only as a friend. Would that give you the reassurance you crave or do you have higher expectations of your ex?

Whether you want your ex to miss you or love you, you must remember that your ex’s nostalgia has very little to do with you. Sure, your personality and (post-breakup) behavior play a big role, but what matters even more is what your ex is like as a person. If she’s not a very sentimental, grateful, and nostalgic person, she may not think back to when her life was more interesting and fulfilling.

She may not want to talk and experience the good times from the past again because her personality doesn’t let her. This is important so you don’t expect your ex to miss you just because you took care of her and had her best interests at heart.

Some people just don’t become nostalgic. They don’t miss their ex because they blame/despise their ex, don’t treasure memories, or weren’t taught to value people and treat them well. If your ex is one of those people, your ex will view you in a negative light because doing so gives her power and prevents her from being vulnerable.

Speaking of vulnerabilities, your ex must feel comfortable with you. She must be convinced that you won’t beg and plead with her the moment she contacts you and that she might be able to have a decent conversation.

If she can trust you, she will miss you even if the relationship wasn’t the best. Her urges will urge her to break the silence and talk about unimportant things.

What if my ex doesn’t reach out? Is it possible that she misses me?

It’s possible that she misses you as a person even if she doesn’t reach out. She may be afraid of getting your hopes up and receiving a response she’s not ready for. This could be any response that indicates you still have feelings and expectations of her. If she thinks there’s a chance you’ll make her feel uncomfortable, she’ll likely stay away from you and deal with nostalgia herself.

You can reach out to your ex and ask for friendship, but only when you’re over her and feel ready to receive an angry or slow reply or no reply at all. When you have no romantic expectations of her and are okay with mean, rude, and disrespectful responses, you can contact your ex and see if she’s open to talking about the past.

Until then, you must keep your distance from your ex and remember that she probably doesn’t miss you enough to reach out. If she had missed you like crazy, she would have ignored her fears of giving you false hope and receiving a strong emotional response from you.

From what I see, most dumpers don’t put themselves in their ex’s shoes and do what’s best for their ex. They do what’s best for them and reach out if they really want to. Usually, the problem is that they don’t want to reach out to their dumpee ex. They have nothing to say to their ex because they’re enjoying their space and privacy and don’t want their ex to disturb their happiness.

So does your ex miss you during no contact? The quick answer is 80% no, 20% maybe/occasionally. Your ex might be missing you when she’s alone and has no one to confide in and spend time with. On the other hand, she probably doesn’t miss you when she’s living a busy/social life and has no time to think about you.

To miss you, she must be missing something. This could be happiness, company, emotional support, healthy self-esteem, purpose, and health. Expect her to miss you when she encounters difficulties and is forced to reflect on the past and realize you weren’t responsible for all of her issues.

Having said that, here’s when your ex misses you during no contact.

How to make your ex miss you during no contact?

If you want to make your ex miss you, you have to understand that you can’t do that directly with willpower. You can’t just post a few pictures from the past and trigger your ex’s longing for the past. As long as your ex is happy and doing okay, your attempts to make your ex miss you will only make things worse.

They’ll annoy your ex and make your ex ignore you or block you. Especially if you contact your ex and try to manipulate your ex’s feelings.

That’s why the best way to make an ex miss you is to let go of control of the breakup and focus on yourself. Show your ex you respect her need for space and that you won’t try to change her opinion of you. She has to change it willingly by reflecting on the breakup (again willingly) and miss the good times.

Until she’s ready to reflect, you can’t do anything to make your ex miss you. You can’t force her to process the breakup quickly and make her want to talk to you about your experiences as a couple. You may be ready to talk about such things right away, but that’s because you’re a dumpee.

You’re going through different breakup stages and feel eager to reconnect.

The stages you’re going through are the opposite of what your ex is going through. She’s starting with relief and elation whereas you’re starting with depression, anger, and nostalgia. You must wait for your ex to get through the early stages of a breakup and express that she misses you and wants to be friends.

Don’t try to make your ex miss you with jealousy tricks and false confidence. If you pretend to be happy and someone you’re not, your ex will get irritated and miss you even less.

The best thing you can do to make your ex miss you is to focus on yourself and your growth. You can post your achievements and improvements once in a while, but don’t do it all the time because you’ll overwhelm your ex and need even longer to positively influence your ex.

Simply be yourself and show that you’re moving on with your life. If your ex thinks fondly of the past, your ex will miss you (and perhaps even reach out to you) when she experiences something unpredictable and becomes nostalgic. That’s when you’ll be able to show her you’ve grown as a person and that you wouldn’t go back to her if it meant reverting to the person you were.

Do you miss your ex and wonder “Does she miss me during no contact?” Why and how do you want your ex to miss you? Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments below.

And if you want our help with your breakup, check out our coaching services. We can go through your breakup story together and create a personalized plan tailored to your personality and needs.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.