Does My Ex Still Like Me?

Your ex’s behavior usually determines whether your ex still likes you. If your ex likes your posts, comments on them, texts you, initiates texts and calls, speaks positively about you, sends you gifts and letters, compliments you, supports you financially, emotionally, or physically, or does you favors, you can usually tell that your ex still cares about you.

Your ex wants the best for you and likes you as a person, not a partner.

If your ex cared as a partner, you wouldn’t have broken up and stayed broken up. You’d get back together or stay together while working on relationship issues as a couple. A relationship would be one of the most important things to your ex because your ex would crave your intimacy and the relationship perks you provided as a partner.

If you want to be with your ex when your ex doesn’t want to be with you, it doesn’t matter if your ex still likes you as a person or a friend. His or her fondness for you won’t change the fact that your ex lost romantic feelings and the determination to invest in the relationship.

It won’t help your ex fall back in love unless your ex finds a good reason to desire you romantically.

In that case, having a positive opinion of you would make the reconciliation easier. It would also make the relationship better because your ex would have fewer doubts and no resentment.

But if your ex only likes you as a person (non-romantically), your ex first needs to discover your romantic worth. That means your ex must see romantic potential in you and want you back as an exclusive romantic partner. To want a relationship, your ex must redevelop feelings and fear that you could detach and let someone else take his or her spot.

A person who loves you will be in a hurry to reconcile with you and won’t be happy about another person dating you. However, a person who merely likes you will feel no urge to reconnect intimately. He or she will want you to find someone else to date and may even encourage you to do so.

An ex like that will push you to detach from him or her and want you to be happy (with another person). Due to a loss of feelings and the determination to redevelop love, he or she won’t feel threatened by your new dating prospects but will instead be happy that you’ve moved on and feel relieved that you’ve left him or her alone.

That’s what an ex who still likes you feels and wants. He or she expects you to be done with the relationship and focus on being happy alone or with someone else. To an ex who likes you (or doesn’t like you), it doesn’t matter if you’re single or not because he or she has no more romantic expectations of you and can handle seeing you with someone else.

The dumper is okay with it as long as you don’t brag about it and post the new person all over his or her feed.

If you overpost, brag, or act out of character, your ex could go from liking you to finding you strange and annoying. He or she could think you’re looking for validation from people (including him or her) and end up angering your ex and forcing your ex to unfollow or delete you.

What your ex does depends on two things.

1. Your ex’s personality and maturity.
2. How you act.

If you play jealousy games, beg your ex to take you back, or do anything immature and desperate, your ex probably won’t like you after you’ve embarrassed yourself. He or she may remain patient with you, but it’s unlikely that your ex will be happy with your behavior and like you as a person.

So does your ex still like you?

If your ex is interacting with you despite breaking up with you, your ex probably still likes you and wants to keep you around. Your ex wants things to stay as they are because he or she enjoys your personality and company. Losing the friendship would be difficult for your ex because your ex currently doesn’t have a replacement for you.

This could change when your ex makes other friends, finds a new partner, or stops feeling bad for breaking your heart. That’s when your ex could stop liking you and focus on people he or she has more in common with. Your ex could basically start hanging out with others and start ignoring you, getting angry with you, and making you feel entirely responsible for the breakup and his or her behavior.

In today’s post, we discuss whether your ex still likes you.

Does my ex still like me?

Let’s be brutally honest for a minute. If your ex doesn’t reach out, respond, and treat you with care, patience, and respect, your ex doesn’t like you anymore. He or she doesn’t even consider you an equal who shares similar goals, values, and self-love. Your ex thinks you’re responsible for the breakup and the negative emotions he or she feels.

Because your ex perceives you negatively, your ex doesn’t want to waste any more time thinking about your wants, needs, and problems. Your ex has better things to do and people to communicate with. People who inspire your ex to talk to them and have the same amount of power as them.

Unless your ex wants friendship, you probably don’t inspire your ex to stay in touch. Your ex is okay with no or occasional communication because it lets your ex be independent and live life on his or her terms. He or she doesn’t need to stay in touch with you and do what you want to do.

As your ex, your ex is free to do what he or she wants. This includes doing things you dislike and dating other people. Nothing holds your ex back from getting to know some new people and moving on with his or her life.

Although your ex may still want to talk to you and be your friend after dumping you, most exes don’t feel the desire to do that. Occasionally, depressed exes, exes who jumped into a new relationship too quickly, and exes who were forced to dump their ex feel nostalgic and eager to talk and bond. Such exes technically still like their ex and may even have feelings for their ex.

They want to be with their ex but can’t because they’re determined they’re not ready for a relationship or that their ex isn’t the right person for them. Either way, they’re attached to their ex and unhappy with themselves or their ex.

Unfortunately, even depressed exes tend to dislike their ex to some degree. They don’t like the way their ex’s behavior and expectations affect them, so they choose to push their ex away, self-prioritize, and enjoy their life without their ex. They’re happier without their ex and constant reminders that they need to do better.

So if your ex is not interacting with you and you’re wondering if your ex still likes you, know that it’s extremely unlikely that your ex still likes you. Your ex is probably staying away from you because space lets your ex feel relieved and in control of his or her life. It makes your ex think and feel only positive thoughts and emotions.

Only the most mature dumpers stay away from their ex on purpose. They do that to give their ex space to heal. Such dumpers care about their ex’s feelings and want their ex to recover as quickly as possible.

Just don’t think that all dumpers stay away from their ex with the intention to let their ex recover in peace. Only a small fraction of dumpers understand how their ex feels and what he or she needs to get over the breakup.

Other exes breadcrumb their ex (bother their ex with their problems) and string their ex along.

If your ex breadcrumbs you, your ex either likes you, cares about you, or wants/needs something from you. He or she probably needs forgiveness and doesn’t want to feel responsible for rejecting you and causing you pain.

On the other hand, if your ex ignores you, blocks you, and treats you badly, your ex didn’t just lose feelings for you. He or she also lost respect and the determination to improve his or her opinion of you. Your ex gave up on you completely (even the friendship) and wants you to stop reaching out/bothering him or her.

In other words, your ex likes you romantically when your ex wants you back urgently and fears that you’ll move on. Your ex likes you as a person or a friend when your ex says or shows he or she enjoys your company and wants to stay in touch. And your ex merely cares about you (doesn’t necessarily like you) when your ex feels guilty for hurting you, says he or she wants to help, and needs you to forgive him or her to properly move forward with his or her life.

Don’t get these things mixed up. They may look similar, but they mean completely different things.

Figure out how you want your ex to feel about you. Do you want friendship, a relationship, or sympathy? If you want your ex to be your friend, it may be possible to settle for friendship at some point. Some dumpers are instantly ready to downgrade their relationship to friendship whereas other dumpers need weeks or months to stop feeling pressured by their ex.

If your ex wants friendship, it’s safe to say that your ex still likes you as a friend and wants to keep you around for various post-breakup benefits. Your ex likes spending time with you or getting something from you. Something like company, advice, money, forgiveness, etc.

It’s in your best interest to avoid letting your ex give you unnecessary hope and make you obsessed with him or her.

If your ex wants you back romantically, you would know this. Not only would you see your ex act romantically toward you, but you’d feel it too. Your ex would work hard for your recognition, reassurance, and love—and wouldn’t let you move on with someone else.

And lastly, if your ex just feels bad for dumping you, you’ll notice that your ex has no long-term plans for you (no friendship or relationship). Your ex just wants to see how you’re doing so that your ex can continue to move on and forget about you with a clear conscience.

If your ex merely feels bad for leaving and complicating your life, your ex cares more about his or her conscience than you as a person. You should forgive your ex so your ex can leave you alone and stop making you overthink his or her actions.

With that said, here’s how to know if your ex still likes you.

What if my ex doesn’t like me anymore?

If you determine your ex doesn’t like you, you’ll probably feel abandoned, unwanted, anxious, and hurt for a while. You’ll take your ex’s disapproval personally and wonder what you did to go from being your ex’s favorite person to the least favorite one. You’ll find it hard to comprehend your ex’s sudden disinterest, contempt, or disgust and crave your ex’s validation more because of it.

It sucks to feel so unimportant, but despite the pain and confusion, at least you know that a relationship and friendship with your ex are off the table and that you don’t have to hold on to hope anymore. You can start letting go of the possibility of having any kind of relationship with your ex now and in the future.

Your ex’s negative perception of you and/or behavior toward you will liberate you.

And that’s good. It’s good for your mental health and healing because you’ll get over your ex much quicker than someone who constantly receives breadcrumbs from the dumper and thinks that his or her ex still has feelings for him or her.

Being disliked is a blessing in disguise. It hurts a lot at first, but when you get used to it, you start to accept your ex’s negative opinion of you and know that the only path available to you is the path forward. You basically get to focus on yourself and people who like you and want to stay in your life.

So try not to worry about whether your ex likes you or not. Your ex is your ex – a person from the past who no longer matters. You need to end the chapter with your ex and start a new, healthier chapter with you as the protagonist. Since your ex no longer loves and likes you, you have to figure out a way to detox from your ex, see your ex as an ordinary human, and acknowledge your worth.

You can do that by starting the no contact rule, writing down your ex’s negative traits, and loving yourself much harder than before.

You’ll stop caring about your ex’s lack of care and affection when you put yourself first and start caring about yourself more. This will happen when you rationally and emotionally understand that the world doesn’t revolve around your ex and that you’re better off without your ex and the lessons you’ve learned thanks to the breakup.

Give it time and you won’t need your ex to validate you. You’ll be okay without it because you’ll understand your value as a person.

Does your ex still like you? How do you want your ex to like you (a friend, partner, person)? Post your comment below.

And lastly, if you want to discuss breakup matters with us and have us analyze your situation, visit our private coaching options here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.