It’s not appropriate for your ex to demand to meet your new partner. Your relationship is between you and your partner. It doesn’t concern your ex at all, which is why your ex shouldn’t be trying to get you all together and talk face-to-face.
There is simply no need to do that. Your ex should be focusing on his or her life rather than trying to meddle with yours.
If your ex has children with you and your ex wants to talk about the way your kids are raised or treated, your ex can always talk to you about it. Your ex can tell you things that bother him or her and ask you to make some positive changes.
Blending exes and new partners together is completely unnecessary. I can’t think of a situation where everyone could benefit from meeting up and speaking with each other. Maybe if there was some kind of emergency, but even in that case, you should be discussing important things with your partner.
Your partner is the one you love and are committed to, whereas your ex is a person from the past you shouldn’t even be close to.
Your relationship with your ex has ended, so keeping your ex around as a friend only makes things more complicated for you and your new partner. It confuses your partner and prevents him or her from relaxing and trusting you fully.
You need to re-evaluate your relationship with your ex and figure out why you’re considering your ex’s opinion and demands.
Is it because your ex is hurt and jealous and you don’t want to hurt your ex anymore? Do you feel guilty for moving on with someone else? Or does it have something to do with your living situation and kids?
Whatever the case may be, your ex can’t demand to meet your new partner. He or she can ask to meet your partner, but you don’t have to agree to it. You have to put your and your partner’s feelings before your ex’s and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
Always ask yourself if you would want to meet your partner’s ex and how that would make you feel.
You’d probably feel a bit weird being physically close to someone your ex was intimate with. And your partner would feel the exact same way. He or she would likely wonder why you’ve arranged for them to meet each other and if there’s more to your relationship with your ex than it seems.
I know I wouldn’t want my partner to meet my exes. Even though I get along with some of them (we chat occasionally), I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. My relationship with my partner is my top priority and “friendships” with my exes a thing of the past.
I don’t want to make it seem like it’s in their best interest for all of us to be friends and get along.
Maybe I’m not seeing it because none of them asked or demanded to meet each other, but I don’t see why they would. My partner and exes don’t know each other, and they don’t need to. They can talk to me if they have concerns or complaints.
It’s my responsibility to keep my ex’s hope for reconciliation low and my partner happy.
So if your ex is demanding to meet your new partner, don’t let your ex manipulate you into setting up a meeting. Instead, ask your ex why he or she wants to talk to your partner and then tell your ex it’s not a good idea. Say that if it’s about kids or something important that concerns him or her, you’ll let your partner know.
But if it doesn’t concern your ex, you’d rather keep them away from each other and not upset anyone and complicate the situation.
In this post, we discuss if your ex can demand to meet your new partner. We explain how you can respond to your ex and what you should do about this situation.
Can my ex demand to meet my new partner?
Whether you left your ex or your ex left you, your ex can’t demand to meet your new partner. Your ex isn’t an influential force in your life. He or she might think that he/she is and try to manipulate you and make you do what he or she wants, but you mustn’t let your ex do that to you.
You must remember that your partner’s opinion and feelings are more important than your ex’s and that your ex doesn’t need to meet your partner to get along with you. If your ex is jealous and not over you, your ex needs to stay away from you and your partner rather than get close to you.
He or she needs to talk to you about problems and concerns (if you have shared responsibilities) and leave your partner out of it.
Also, if you still live with your ex, don’t invite your partner to a place where he or she might run into your partner. Wait till you move out so there’s no risk of them seeing each other and engaging in an uncomfortable conversation.
It’s your job to make sure these two people stay far away from each other and not make the relationship more difficult than it needs to be.
Although there might not be any drama between them, it’s better not to risk it. They’ll probably never have a close relationship and be friends. The good thing about it is that they don’t need to have any kind of relationship. They’re two people with conflicting interests, opinions, and behaviors.
They’ll be happier (and you will too) if they talk to you individually and stay out of each other’s lives.
Yes, some people can be friends with their partner’s ex, but such people don’t feel threatened or uncomfortable. For some reason, they’re okay with having a close relationship with a person who was intimate with their ex.
Their talking together isn’t just a matter of jealousy and awkwardness. There simply isn’t enough space for your ex and your partner to coexist. This is especially true if your ex still has feelings for you and wants to get back together with you.
Since your ex is demanding to meet your partner, you should reject your ex’s demands and explain why you think it’s a bad idea. Say that it’s unhealthy for your relationship, that it’d be uncomfortable for you, and that you want to leave things as they are.
Your ex needs to understand that he or she is in no position to demand things. Your ex lost the ability to demand and expect things from you when he or she became an ex.
That’s why your ex now needs to learn to accept things the way they are and that no means no.
If your ex doesn’t listen to your wishes and keeps demanding, threatening, and acting out of control, you have every right to stop responding to your ex and focus on things that make you happy.
That might make your ex furious, but your ex needs to learn that he or she doesn’t decide things for you. You get to decide who you talk to and what kind of relationship you want with your ex.
In my opinion, you shouldn’t even talk to your ex now that you have a partner. You must remember that your ex is a person you couldn’t make the relationship work with and that your partner is the person you should be doing favors for.
With that said, here’s why your ex can’t demand to meet your new partner.
If your ex demands to meet your new partner, your ex thinks that he or she is still in control of your life and that you should and will do what he or she says. Your ex doesn’t have much respect for your new relationship and the way his or her demands make you feel.
All your ex cares about is regaining control over your life and keeping you close to him or her.
This is why exes must get some space from each other, get used to the space, and let go of high expectations. They need to do this so they can stop relying on each other and treating the breakup like a relationship.
The truth is that a breakup isn’t friendship. You can’t just downgrade your relationship and act like you never broke up. You can talk from time to time if that’s what you want, but before you do that, you must forget about each other for a while and get used to a life without each other.
That’s the fastest and healthiest way to prepare for infrequent communication with your ex.
Don’t let your ex demand things from you!
Your ex shouldn’t dictate what you think, feel, say, and do. Your ex is an ex and has no right to control you and demand things from you. If your ex tries to possess you, it’s because your ex is still connected to you and feels entitled to the benefits you can provide.
In that case, I suggest you cut your ex out of your life immediately. You should have done that ages ago (when you broke up). But because you didn’t, your ex thought you were friends and that he or she was in a position to demand to meet your new partner.
Well, your ex couldn’t have been more wrong.
After the breakup, your ex became the last person you should listen to and make time for. If your ex is too stubborn and close-minded to understand that, your ex needs to learn it the hard way.
He or she needs to see that you prioritize your partner’s feelings over his/hers and that you’re not going to let them meet each other just because your ex thinks it’d be a good idea.
This is the kind of problem exes who don’t detach from each other encounter. They don’t regain their independence, so they think they’re obligated to certain post-breakup perks and benefits. Little do they know that post-breakup friendship is detrimental to their healing and moving-on process.
All friendship with an ex does is prolong the dumpee’s suffering and hope and make things uncomfortable for the dumper and his or her new partner.
If your ex is a dumper, that doesn’t change anything. Your ex may not be in love with you anymore, but your ex does have unrealistic expectations of you. He or she expects you to pretend like it’s okay for him/her and your partner to meet up and discuss things.
So if your ex demands to meet up with your new partner and you and your partner don’t like it, don’t do what your ex demands from you. Instead, increase your distance from your ex and show your ex that you’re not okay with it.
Your ex may not like it, but it honestly doesn’t matter. It’s time for your ex to learn that he or she isn’t in charge anymore and that your ex needs to give your relationship room to breathe.
Room lets your relationship grow whereas a lack of it suffocates it and puts unnecessary pressure on it.
In conclusion, you need to do what’s best for you and your partner, not your ex. Your ex had his/her go when you were together. Now it’s your partner’s turn to feel loved, cared for, and listened to. You need to make sure your partner feels comfortable, valued, and wanted and that he or she has no reason to doubt you and fall out of love.
Are you still wondering if your ex can demand to meet your new partner? Are you thinking of letting your ex get what he or she wants? Share your opinion on this topic below the article. It could help others going through the same thing.
And lastly, if you’d like to talk to us about your ex’s demands, sign up for coaching here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.
