Updated on September 8, 2025
It’s very common for the dumper to talk to the dumpee and then ignore him or her. Talking, followed by ignoring, is a clear sign that the dumper is curiously testing the waters, rather than reaching out to get back together. In the breakup world, we call this kind of behavior breadcrumbing. Dumpers send breadcrumbs not to deliberately confuse their ex, but to get something from their ex.
Usually, they aim to:
- bury the hatchet
- alleviate guilt
- appease curiosity
- befriend their ex
- learn how their ex thinks and feels about them
- rely on their ex for advice, support, or boredom
As you’ve probably noticed, their reach-outs have nothing to do with getting back together and working on fixing broken trust and commitment. They have everything to do with getting what they want or need to feel fulfilled and move on quickly and successfully. We could say they reach out for selfish reasons and have no clue or care about how their actions affect their ex.
They just know that they’re missing something and that their ex can help them get it. Once they get it, they often mistreat, ignore, or ghost their ex and go back to doing what they’re doing. They do this because they never intended to stay in contact and chat with their ex. If chatting was something they genuinely wanted, they would have expressed the wish to do so.
Unfortunately, dumpees usually reach out because they feel bad for hurting their ex. They wish they hadn’t caused their ex so much pain, so they feel morally responsible to “help.” In reality, they just want to help themselves ease their guilt and move on with a clear conscience.
This explains why they talk to their ex and then ignore him or her. They simply don’t need their ex once they’ve talked to him or her and obtained what they wanted or needed. They gain insight into their ex’s life, which cools their curiosity and helps them stop caring about the reason they reached out in the first place.
Always remember that an ex who talks to you one moment and ignores you the next has no feelings or regret. If the man or woman loved you and wanted to be with you, he or she would have been consistent. This means admiring you, asking for forgiveness, expressing feelings, recommitting emotionally, making promises, and putting you first.
The dumper would have avoided doing things that hurt you, confuse you, and make you feel unwanted.
So if your ex talks to you and ignores you, keep in mind that your ex doesn’t value you as much as he or she needs to value you to want you back. Your ex probably reaches out when he or she needs something from you. Something like information, advice, support, or simply a familiar person to talk to when he or she feels bored.
Whatever your ex’s reason for reaching out is, it isn’t good enough. It’s about your ex, rather than you or even the two of you as a couple. There’s no “us” when your ex reaches out, talks to you, and then ignores you. As long as your ex is reaching out for himself or herself, your ex is confusing you more than he or she is helping you. Your ex is making things more difficult for you and needs to stop doing it.
The sooner your ex quits bothering you with unsolicited breadcrumbs and confusing behavior, the sooner you can expect to recover emotionally and get over your ex.
Your task as a dumpee is to stop analyzing your ex’s words and actions. You must stay away from your ex and allow yourself to detach and heal. Once you’ve done that, your ex’s strange behavior won’t affect you anymore because you’ll feel comfortable with who you are and what you’ve accomplished.
In the meantime, figure out how to stop your ex from reaching out (giving you hope) and ignoring you (hurting you). The push-pull behavior must come to an end and, by doing so, guarantee stability and self-love.
In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the possible reasons why your ex reaches out, talks to you, and then ignores you.
My ex talks to me and then ignores me
Let’s get one thing clear first. Ignoring an ex, or anyone for that matter, is very disrespectful. It shows people that you don’t care about their time, feelings, and effort enough to reciprocate. Instead of returning their effort or investment, you take it for granted and focus on yourself.
This isn’t appropriate, especially for an ex who had a relationship with you. An ex should be more mindful of your feelings and help you deal with post-breakup blues. If your ex doesn’t want to help you, he or she should at least avoid making things more difficult. That means the dumper should refrain from sending breadcrumbs and ensure the quickest recovery.
It’s common sense that every decent person, an ex or not, deserves a response. He or she owes you one simply for being a human being. A response is not an unrealistic expectation. It’s the most basic thing one could ask for.
I get that breakups can be difficult to accept, cope with, and process. But that doesn’t make it okay to shut down emotionally, run away from difficult situations, and ignore exes in the process. You and your ex talked when you were together. You had respect for each other, feelings, and certain expectations, but you still communicated properly.
This shouldn’t change just because your feelings did. If it does, it means your ex associates negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with you and doesn’t feel comfortable or happy. Whether it’s because of how things ended, how you communicate, or the relationship itself, the dumper is okay with ignoring you and causing you pain.
You need to understand that this is who your ex truly is. He or she ignores people when they overwhelm or disappoint him or her. Now that you have no romantic value, your ex considers you expendable and is okay with losing you completely. Losing you is better than investing in you and seeing you hurt.
I don’t know about your values, self-love, and expectations of exes, but if my ex acted hot and cold or simply ignored me, I wouldn’t think positively about my ex and continue to chase. Despite feeling hurt, I’d step back from the situation and work on losing respect, feelings, and hope.
An ex who ignores me doesn’t deserve my attention and time, let alone initiations, effort, and feelings. He or she lost these privileges the moment he or she initiated the breakup.
Ignoring, at least to me, is a major breach of respect and a sign of emotional immaturity. When an ex-partner ignores, it’s clear that his or her priorities have shifted and that talking is pointless. Talking won’t bring back his or her loss of respect, feelings, and wish to be together. It will have the exact opposite effect, as you’ll likely say or do something your ex isn’t ready for and scare your ex off.
People will usually hurt you in an attempt to heal themselves.
Sonya Teclai
What does it mean if my ex dumped me and is ignoring me?
Most dumpers won’t talk to you or be happy to talk to you right after the breakup. They’ll have too much anger, doubt, guilt, shame, fear, or need for space to relax and feel a desire to engage in productive conversation.
Instead of talking, they’ll let conversations fizzle out or ignore you altogether. What they do depends on their personality and, of course, what you say or do. If you talk to your ex like you’re still together and try to flirt, your ex obviously won’t be happy about it. Like most dumpers, your ex will feel disrespected and overwhelmed—and be in a hurry to cut you off.
Your ex won’t have a reason to talk to you when you make his or her post-breakup experience extremely difficult with your feelings, wants, needs, and expectations.
It’s hard, if not impossible, for your ex to talk to you (especially patiently) when your ex considers you a danger to his or her happiness and well-being. Hence, your ex ignores you to ensure his or her own peace of mind, independence, and sense of safety.
Not all dumpers talk to their exes and then ignore them. People have different personalities and beliefs, so some dumpers communicate more consistently, while others reach out or respond only when they feel like it. They often act based on their emotions and needs rather than considering how their (ignoring) behavior affects the other person.
That’s why they often ignore their ex and appear uncaring and selfish.
Many dumpers are afraid of telling their ex they don’t want to talk. Because they’re scared of hurting his or her feelings, they unhappily talk to their ex until they can’t hold it in anymore and ignore their ex. Ignoring allows them to feel free again and regain control of their thoughts and feelings.
Despite knowing that ignoring is wrong, they choose to run away from problems due to the fear of confrontation. Fear tells them to ditch their ex and prioritize themselves.
Having said that, here’s why your ex reaches out to you, talks to you, and then ignores you.
Why did my ex text me and then not reply?
If your ex texted you and didn’t reply after reading your response, your ex either got busy afterward or just wanted to see how you’d respond.
He or she wanted to get a reaction out of you (positive, negative, or neutral) and discern what you think and feel about him or her. Your ex did this to obtain some kind of post-breakup empowerment that only you as a dumpee could provide.
The moment you provided it, though, your ex gained insight into your thoughts and emotions and completed the missing piece of his or her puzzle. Completing this puzzle, of course, served a specific purpose: to justify your ex’s actions before and after the breakup and to allow him or her to move on, either without you or with someone else.
It probably didn’t give your ex an ego boost, but rather a guilt-free card that permitted your ex to focus on himself or herself.
So if you received a text from your ex to which your ex didn’t reply, it’s possible that your ex was distracted or got what he or she was after. You may not have had a full conversation, but your response showed that you didn’t block or harbor hatred toward him or her.
The fact that your message went through demonstrates that you’re still open and emotionally available, even if only in a small way. This alone was enough for your ex to feel respected and wanted.
Should you have ignored your ex instead?
No, because ignoring is wrong and wouldn’t have made your ex fall back in love. Responding is the better choice, as it reflects maturity and supports your own personal growth. My advice is to respond to people, especially if it aligns with your values. Do it for yourself, not to impress others.
My ex started talking to me and then stopped
Your ex probably engaged in conversation with you simply to pass the time until something or someone more interesting came along. It’s possible that your ex met someone new and focused on that person instead of you.
Or perhaps your ex focused all his or her energy on work, studies, hobbies, or passions.
Whatever the case may be, it’s clear that your ex no longer found any benefit in talking. Like anyone with low interest, your ex stopped engaging and may have even ignored you entirely.
Don’t blame yourself for your ex’s actions or inactions. Your ex’s ignoring doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of response, friendship, or a relationship. It simply means your ex has a negative perception of you and doesn’t respond well to a lack of space, overwhelm, stress, anger, or resentment.
How your ex treats you says more about your ex than it does about you. It depicts your ex’s patience, self-awareness, self-control, morals, and overall value. Think deeply about your ex’s behavior if you’re contemplating getting back together with your ex.
My ex flirts with me and then ignores me
Flirting is a sign of both physical and emotional attraction, but it doesn’t necessarily indicate a desire for a serious relationship. A serious relationship implies commitment, emotional investment, and a willingness to work through challenges together, something a flirting person doesn’t want.
Flirting with an ex is purely sexual, as it shows no desire to recommit. This is especially true if your ex makes no plans with you and ignores you afterward. Ignoring after flirting makes it clear that your ex only wants you sexually. It can be compared to taking someone home after a night of drinking, an impulsive, temporary connection driven by immediate desire rather than genuine long-term interest.
Moments of flirting reveal short-term attraction and tend to fizzle out quickly. Usually, dumpers feel entertained and validated—and stop interacting because of it. They don’t feel the need to recommit romantically and start a new relationship.
So if your ex flirts with you and ignores you, remember that his or her behavior shows that his or her emotions aren’t romantic. They’re purely sexual, which is why your ex pushes you away the moment he or she gets sexually fulfilled and assumes you want him or her back.
Your ex may also be seeing or be interested in seeing someone else. If your ex has feelings for someone else, he or she is likely hesitant to get involved with you due to the fear of missing out on the new person. The new person makes your ex feel stronger emotions, so your ex hopes that something meaningful will develop from that connection.
Something that motivates your ex to invest time, energy, and emotions
More reasons why your ex talks to you one moment and ignores you the next:
Since your ex is the dumper, your ex is always on the defensive. Your ex has his or her guard up and doesn’t want to bond with you. Bonding is for couples—and you and your ex aren’t one. You’re an ex-couple who used to be in an intimate relationship together until things went south.
If you insist and try to bond despite being broken up, your ex won’t like that. He or she will feel smothered and might ignore and block you. Ignoring and blocking serve as a coping mechanism for when emotions run high.
Always remember that blocking, ignoring, ghosting, and other disrespectful behaviors seem appropriate to dumpers who lack care and sympathy for their ex. They consider them normal, so they use them to escape situations for which they lack healthy solutions.
Talking and ignoring are probably more common than you think. Many dumpers ignore and block to let their ex into their life when they miss him or her, and push him or her out of it when they get enough of their ex. If they’re bored, lonely, curious, or nostalgic, they talk to their ex. And if they’re overwhelmed, annoyed, or scared of their ex’s expectations, they lose their patience and take their frustrations out on their ex.
That, or they simply ignore.
What to do when your ex ignores you?
If your ex ignored you and you’re unsure what to do, know that there’s a universal plan for your ex’s ignoring. It’s called “Do what your idol would do.”
Whether this idol is your parent, a friend, or a complete stranger, he or she must behave in line with high moral values and self-esteem. Therefore, it must be someone non-reactive, emotionally strong, and confident. Someone who doesn’t take rejection and ignoring behavior to heart.
That person will refuse to react impulsively to ignoring behavior and handle it confidently.
To be confident means to avoid taking your pain and anger out on your ex. As much as you’d like to call your ex out for messing with your broken heart, keep your emotions to yourself and act as if it didn’t affect you. This means letting your ex “get away with ignoring” by keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself.
Don’t let your ex ignore you again, though. The next time your ex reaches out, shut the conversation down before your ex gets a chance to ignore you. Do this by asking your ex why he/she reached out and telling him or her not to talk to you anymore. Your ex must know that you know your worth and refuse to chat about random things.
It’s important for you to show that you won’t entertain breadcrumbs and that you love yourself more than your ex.
Does your ex talk to you and ignore you frequently? Does it happen randomly or because you’re saying or doing something you shouldn’t? Let us know in the comments below.
However, if you need help analysing your ex’s ignoring behavior and looking for solutions, feel free to get in touch with us by subscribing to coaching. Together, we’ll get to the bottom of your ex’s ignoring behavior and devise a custom-tailored plan.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Me and my GF separated 6 months ago. We were together for 3 years and for the last 6 months of the relationship she became angry, upset, frustrated with me constantly. I hated the fact I caused her so much pain so ended the relationship thinking it was the right thing to do for us both and because I hated seeing someone I loved so much in pain. Since separating I think about her every single day and we recently met and chatted about what went wrong. I was amazing to see her. We both agreed it was the right thing to do at the time by separating but she blames me for everything. She now seems to reach out when she wants something from me but will normally ignore me for hours/days. She is having a very stressful time with university and struggles to “juggle” her “spinning plates”. I’m so confused and am struggling to understand how she finds it so easy to be so disrespectful. I love her so very much and want to support her through this tough time, but I find it so upsetting and it challenges my own values. Advice is welcome. Please.
Hi Keith.
She’s become resentful and blames you for her problems and feelings. Best you can do is give her space and let her handle her issues on her own. You don’t need to be her friend and support her if she doesn’t want you to and treats you badly. Go no contact and perhaps you’ll become friends when things have cooled off.
Sincerely,
Zan
Ex gf says it bothers her that we don’t talk but whenever i see her she either avoids me or looks at her phone. I don’t understand how a person can be so incoherent.
Hi Chris.
She might have occasional moments of doubt, but she doesn’t regret breaking up. Her avoidance shows that she feels uncomfortable in your presence and that she’d rather not engage in conversation.
Kind regards,
Zan
My momShe keeps talking to me and I would like her to stop talking to me right now. And she is telling her whole family that there is bugs and parasites here and there is not she has a mental illness and she won’t make an appointment to see a therapist and I would like her to. My room comes in my room and talks the bug and parasite nonsense to me.
Hi Jeremy.
How does this relate to your ex?
Sincerely,
Zan
Ex reach out to get back, you rejected so disappear. S
Hi H.
If your ex reached out to get back with you, your ex will show you that (most likely tell you in some way). Asking her not to speak won’t ruin your chances.
Best,
Zan
My ex does this to me. She cheated on me. It broke my heart. We have been divorced for some time now. We have a child together, so unfortunately, I still have to interact with her. When she needs something, or something is going wrong in her life I get a call or a text. I do the right thing and I help because I do not want her to suffer, but then she goes back to ignoring me and I feel so used. I put a smile on my face and hide it from her and my child. I have reworked myself from top to bottom. Best shape of my life, I have hobbies, I spend time with my kid. Even so I still cannot even get a sideways glance from her. It hurts so bad to be ignored and marginalized. I know I was not perfect, but I tried to be. I do not understand how a person could be so cruel to someone whom you once loved and someone whom you had a child with. I could never do that to someone. I am waiting for the day for the pain to stop.
Hi Anonymous.
You’re doing great, so congrats on getting this far! Just keep in mind that you won’t be a bad person for not helping her. You just mustn’t make things worse for her. I strongly suggest that you pull away by asking her to reach out to you only when it’s about the child. You needn’t have conversations that concern her because that makes you feel so used.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi
Please keep any rude comments to yourself. I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. He cheated on me with his baby mom and another chick. We were planning to get pregnant which I did. He then decided he didn’t want it when his baby mom was so hurt. I aborted due to the harassment. In the mist of the break up I had a surprise baby .
Anyway I recently expressed I wanted friendship and he expressed he wanted to flirt and wants sex, we’ve been sexting and things. However, he recently just went cold. I text for his input on something career related and haven’t had a reply. I’m sure he knows I still love him. Do you think that’s pulling him away? Should I just go no contact again or for forever ?
Hi Poo.
He’s definitely pulling away forever. You should go no contact forever because he doesn’t want you for the right reasons. He just wants what he can get because the love is gone.
Hang in there!
Zan
Bull shit macked on a younger gal like 30 years < his age in my face. I bought us MCD’s and he gives her a sandwich I bought saying oh I was to mean to her. BS. Dropped him. Then he moved contacts me 3 years later I replied no response and now 6 years later telling me I am kind and honorable. I acknowledged his comment. Gave me his phone number I called he texted said missed my call and would call me back. No call to date. LOL I was on a date at the time, so not to worry more fish in the Ocean ;). HA! HA!
Hi Zan,
My partner and I were in a relationship for 5 years. The last 6-8 months he started to not really put the effort in, didnt want intimacy etc. As a insecure partner I started to make digs at him for not paying attention to me. Eventually, he got fed up with this and pushed me away to the point i ended things. I didnt want to and he knew this but said right now he is not happy and is confused in his head. He even pushed his family and friends away he said he wanted to be with me but something was telling him he cant. He is depressed and couldnt put the effort into himself let alone me! He said he never fell out of love with me and ‘maybe time apart will be good for us’. I let him go 5 weeks ago and did a no contact period of 25 days. I then text him to check in that he was okay and it was a short sweet conversation. A week later after focusing on myself I decided I need to get the closure and get my stuff from his house (i used to live there and so have quite a lot of things at his parents home.) I messaged him ‘hey, can we sort a day for me to get my stuff please?x’ he replied and said ‘ hey how are you? yeah sure when was you thinking?x’ anyway so i said i was doing okay and i asked him if we could meet on a neutral territory beforehand because I am worried about the conversation in his house, his safe space, infront of his family etc. I dont want a emotional chat in his bedroom which is filled with all these memories, a chance to slouch on the bed, not listen, be too attached to all the memories in the room that this affect the conversation. He said of course we can to meeting and then we started to chatting. The conversation could have easily been ended but he asked me how college was going and if we was still doing online lessons. I replied about college 3 days ago and he has not even read the message. Im not sure if this is because he has no intention of getting back with me so i do not matter. I understand I am not a priority anymore but we was chatting with quick replies before that. I just get mixed signals? Do you think he wants space or that this may bring back confusion about us so he took a step back? Or maybe hes saving the conversation for when we see eachother on Thursday (a week after texting)???
Hi Courtney.
Your ex is depressed and has pushed many people away. For that reason, he needs to work on himself before he’ll be able to have good relationships with others. At the moment, he has no intention of getting back together because he’s not happy yet. You must give him space and not contact him anymore.
You got your stuff back, so you can just do no contact and keep getting over him. Depressed guys have a lot of internal work to do, Courtney. It’s best you give him space and time to do that.
Whenever you feel tempted to reach out, remember that he’d given up on himself and the relationship a long time ago and that you can’t help him with that unless he develops the will to improve it.
Best regards,
Zan
My ex, when we dated used to ignore me during conflict because he wanted to talk in person and I was the only one driving. He would ignore me until I drove the hour drive to “fix” things. Only to be yelled at and usually I left with my tail between my legs.
He is an alcoholic and I can’t tell if just toxic or worse.
It’s been a few months since I had heard from him and so I checked in, very silly!!!!!! He wanted me to come over, I passed out drunk and woke up half naked.
I left in tears, he apologized and when I texted my feelings and asked for clarification he ignored me.
So I get it, he’s done with me, but wow! That was hurtful beyond! Now he sends a random “sweet dreams” and then ignores again.
The most exhausting roller coaster of all time! And I ruminate! So terribly!!!!!
Hi Amy.
I hope that you end things with your ex for good. He’s just not a healthy and reliable partner and will not let you grow as a person. He’ll hold you back. So gather up the courage to say no to him if he invites you to his place or wants you back.
Best,
Zan
Hello Zan!
I met an amazing man! or so I thought! I was dating this man for about 6 months. He was very busy in the day to text me and so was I. The last time we met we did not argue but it was a conversation that did not go well. After that conversation I decided to cut off all kinds of communication. I blocked it for more than two weeks, and it was less than a month since everything happened. Just on Tuesday he texted me and asked me in my native language (Russian) “Hello, how are you?” which I answered in my native Russian language “fine and you?”
It’s been three days and I still haven’t heard from him. While we were dating I was never clear with my feelings, I never told him that I liked him, but I know that his attitude is his problem, not mine. But I miss it lol
Hi Oxana.
Many couples break up at the 6th-month mark. They get to know each other and get used to each other, so they argue, lose feelings, or experience various issues.
The person you dated probably only wanted to see if you’ll respond to him. It’s possible he knew you blocked him. You have to decide what you want, Oxana. Do you want to talk to him, get back with him, or cut off all communication? Whatever you decide, make sure you stick with your decision.
Kind regards,
Zan
my ex wife left me over a year ago. I won’t go into great detail re the circumstances as thats for another conversation stream.
the thing I struggle with and find difficult to understand is twofold.
why she calls me when she could just send me a message or email?
why when she messages me she shares with me what is going on with her albeit in a veiled sense, what i mean is why do i need to know that stuff?
If anything i miss her terribly and want to know more and want to stay open to conversation with her but what ultimately happens is that she will shut it down and disappear
My goal is to remain open to her but i have to say that it hurts a lot. Ive had thoughts of setting boundaries around communication but fear that will shut it down for good
Hi Satire.
It seems that your wife is still used to speaking with you. She considers you her friend, which is why you mustn’t settle for friendship. You deserve more, so stop all communication with her. She won’t like it, but she’ll respect you more because she’ll see you know what you want.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi Zan
I get it I really do, I can even predict what I should be doing now at one year down the road but it’s so hard. Our separation was out of the blue for me and I can’t say why only that I never conceived this could happen. I must have had my head buried for what I perceived to be external reasons as to why we weren’t gelling in our relationship anymore. I hoped with time circumstances would change. Because I was completely blindsided and very hurt I quit my job and moved to another town. We share custody of our kids which complicates matters. I would just like to start feeling ok again but struggle with the thought to this day that it’s really over
Hi Satire.
Breakups take time to get over. I’m sure you’ll get over yours if you take it seriously and improve the things you need to improve. Working on yourself will boost your self-esteem and make your next relationship better because of it.
Take it one step at a time and you’ll get there, Satire,
Best regards,
Zan
Hi,
I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 months but he broke up with me for various reasons. He asked me if we could be friends and I agreed thinking he’s a good person. He has been constantly reaching out but I noticed a pattern wherein he would seen zone me in the middle of our conversation even if I asked a question. He has not reached out to me for two days now and I feel he only does so when he’s free, bored and if it’s convenient for him but whenever he ‘s busy he ignores me. I know I shouldn’t feel bad but I find what he is doing is rude and he’s using me. I was planning to tell him how I feel but realized it won’t change anything but on the other hand I feel that if I don’t say anything he will abuse and continue what he is doing. Is this a narcissistic behavior on his part? Do you have any more advice aside from what you shared in this post? Or are there things that could help me move on from the hurt aside from the heartbreak from breaking up? Would appreciate it. Thank you!
Joyce
Hi Joyce.
I don’t think it’s narcissistic behavior, but I do think that he has very little respect for you and that you should stop your friendship. This can hardly be called friendship as friends respond to each other. So don’t tell him how you feel about his disappearing behavior and just stop talking to him. When he reaches out, ask him not to contact you anymore, and that’s that.
Go no contact, Joyce. It’s the solution to all your problems with this guy.
Kind regards,
Zan
This was an absolutely wonderful article, and just what I needed. I have never been one to be vindictive or seek out revenge. I always reply. I made the mistake of asking questions, and not receiving answers from my friend as to why they were ignoring me. I even tried to ignore back, and it only made me feel so much worse. While I don’t have a religious affiliation, I would have to say that Jesus is probably my idol. I am not really a Christian, but I do believe he existed. And I believe he would forgive people who have slighted him, and I believe he would show decorum. And so that is what I try to do. If my friend sends me an email, and it seems flippant, I let it go. If my friend is genuinely asking about me, I will reply but keep it short. And I always try to ask how things are on their end. Whether they reply to me or not, it’s really up to them and holds no weight upon me. The only thing I have to be aware of, and conclude is that I am always kind when I finish.
I appreciate everything leading up to the advice that you have typed here, please don’t ever listen to people who are so desperate for only a solution without reading what causes the issue. And I hope you will keep writing wonderful articles.
Hi Marina.
I’m glad you enjoyed the article. Remember that you needn’t take the high road for the people who mistreat you. You take it for yourself because that’s how you want to treat others. It’s who you want to be, so always reply to them and feel free to ask them questions. Do so in a way that depicts self-respect because that will allow you to grow.
Kind regards,
Zan
So this is very like a situation I find myself in regularly, me and my ex broke up a long time ago, close to 10 years ago and we were very close, she broke up with me as I lost my way and didn’t show any of my love for her and shut off from her, I have had to live with that for many years and have tried consistently to get her back, about a year ago I took my chances once again and actually got a response and we started talking and catching up which was great but then all of a sudden the txts stopped, I didn’t push the matter but I didn’t contact her again, after a few mo this she contacted me out of the blue which again prompted some catching up, this time I suggested meeting up and she told me no and that we would never get back together again, her heart wouldn’t be in it, due to the hurt over the years i politely explained to her that every time we speak and she disappears I have to go through that hurt all over again and I didn’t want to speak anymore to which she respectfully accepted, less than a month later she contacted me again and because I don’t want to be rude to her and still have strong feelings for her I replied and again started talking, this time she became rather flirty with me and started bringing up some of our ‘personal moments’ which I found rather odd, we spent about a week voice messaging for a few hours everyday so I decided to ask her out for food to which she responded with an ‘ask me again tomorrow’ we continued voice messaging for the remainder of the night until we both went to sleep, the next day I did what she had asked and asked her again….. she never replied
I haven’t contacted her since
I don’t understand what I have done wrong, but again I have to go through the hurt, even worse this time as it gave me more hope than I have ever had since we broke up
Hi John.
It’s not about what you’ve done wrong, but about your ex’s feelings. She hasn’t been able to redevelop them for you. I think she messaged you recently only because something made her emotional.
You need to explain to her not to reach out anymore so you can finally heal. At the moment, she doesn’t care or know that she’s hurting you, so be more direct and stand up for yourself.
Best regards,
Zan
Just go direct to the point of what we should do if ex text then ignore. No need for long poetic pointless trash talk.
Thanks for the feedback, Jasson.
I’ll keep that in mind.
Zan
My mom I want her to stop talking to me right now and to stay out of my room and for her to stop with her stupid bug and parasite nonsense there is none she has a mental illness and I would like her to make an appointment to see a therapist she has a doctor and she doesn’t even tell her doctor she has a mental illness.
Hi Jeremy.
Try to be as supportive as you can be. I know it’s exhausting for you, but it’s difficult for her as well – more than it is for you.
Hang in there!
Zan