If you’re wondering how long it takes for a man to miss a woman after a break-up, the answer to this question depends on what kind of missing you’re referring to. If you’re talking about missing you as a companion, it could take as long as it takes the guy to process the smothering breakup emotions.
For most guys, this usually takes 3 – 6 months because that’s how long it takes them to let go of resentment and reach out to their ex.
But if you’re hoping for a man to miss you as a romantic partner, then that’s something that could take months or even years. From my observations, most guys who come back do so after they rebound with the wrong person. But of course, there are also guys out there who date two or three women after their ex and then realize that the problem wasn’t with their ex but with them.
Such guys lack experience in the dating field and normally require years of time before they have an epiphany and realize that they gave up on their ex because they lacked patience and understanding.
So if you want to know how long it takes for a man to miss a woman romantically, bear in mind that him missing you depends on many things, starting with how good the relationship was, how busy and happy your ex is after the breakup, and most importantly, how good his new dating candidates are.
As a general rule of thumb, the worse your ex feels and the more misfortunate he is, the sooner he will reflect on his past and start to desire parts of the past that made him the happiest.
How long does it take for a man to miss a woman after a break-up?
The most important thing you need to know is that a guy can’t miss a woman after a breakup just because she was nice and supportive throughout the relationship. He can miss her weeks or months later (after he’s had a realization), but he can’t miss her right after the breakup because he can’t instantly change the way he feels about her.
Even if he could somehow change that, the real problem is that he doesn’t want to change the way he feels. He actually likes his newfound freedom and independence and wouldn’t give it up no matter what.
The reason why he’s so stubborn about it is that he needs time to himself after the breakup. He’d been meaning to break up with his partner for a long time, so naturally, he developed negative thinking patterns and associations. And changing those associations on your terms through conversations, threats, or, pleas is just not going to happen.
As a woman, you can apologize to your ex, beg and plead with him, buy your ex presents, and promise to do better next time, but, unfortunately, you still won’t be able to change his feelings for you. Why is that? It’s because his feelings for you are set. Due to his mentality, he thinks of you in a certain way—and any attempt to change how he sees you and feels about you is only going to make things worse.
It’s going to make him feel disrespected and trapped because he doesn’t want to let go of his emotions of power. He likes power as well as his post-breakup freedom and wants you to respect him. If you don’t respect him by insisting that he should give the relationship another chance despite how he feels, you won’t show him that you’re fighting for the relationship. Instead, you’ll show him you’re fighting against him and that you’re only interested in getting what’s best for you.
The reason why it’s so difficult to change your ex-boyfriend’s opinion of you is that you aren’t just changing his opinion. You’re also changing the beliefs that are deeply rooted in him and strongly reinforced by his negative emotions.
Bear in mind that when you attempt to change a guy’s beliefs, you tell him, “I don’t agree with you nor respect your decision. I’m here to do what I want.” This, in turn, increases his resentment, suffocation, or unhappiness and decreases the possibility of this person missing you.
Every time you go against your ex or do something your ex doesn’t like, you essentially commit a breakup mistake and reduce your chances of hearing from your ex in the future. So if you’re hoping to get your ex back, know that your ex won’t miss you (or parts of your relationship) if you completely ignore his post-breakup needs (needs for space and freedom).
You’ll actually hinder his ability to do as he pleases and lose his remaining respect.
Always remember that your ex-boyfriend has power over you and that you mustn’t give him more of your personal power. If you want what’s best for him and yourself, you must slowly take it away from him because when you do, your ex will be able to see you as an equal and respect you.
How long does it take a man to realize what he lost?
A man can realize what he lost in two different ways.
- He can do it the nice way by thinking about you and comparing life before the breakup to life after.
- He can do it the hard way by dating another (or other women) and failing miserably with them.
I can tell you that most of the time, it’s the latter that does the job because most guys lack the ability to self-reflect. They find their ex responsible for the breakup, blame her for the way they feel, and as a result, refuse to acknowledge her worth unless something or someone forces them to.
This is because in their minds, they’re convinced that they weren’t the ones with a problem and that their ex should have been more caring, understanding, patient, interesting, respectful, attractive, or better suited for them. Such exes can admit to themselves that their ex wasn’t that bad for them and that they gave up on their ex too quickly only when they experience the same issues with another person or because of another stressor.
So if you’re wondering how long it takes for a man to realize what he lost and miss you, the best answer I can give you is that it depends. It depends on how long it takes him to run into the same or similar issues. When he runs into issues is when he might be able to reflect on the past and re-evaluate his actions and self-worth.
A guy normally reflects when he:
- fails at something important
- gets rejected by someone he cares about
- suffers from a loss of self-esteem
- realizes he isn’t happy (or as happy as he used to be)
- and gets into some kind of trouble that threatens his health, wealth, or relationships
Men (or women) just don’t realize what they lost unless their primary plan fails and makes them realize that they aren’t as high and mighty as they initially thought they were. Not all dumpers feel empowered by their breakup, of course, but sadly, many do because their exes expect things from them and hope that they get another chance.
This is why you mustn’t inflate your ex’s ego. You mustn’t ignore the rules of no contact and think that your ex will miss you and realize your worth if you’re always around, ready to do what he wants.
That kind of behavior won’t encourage your ex to love you because you’ll be way too available to your ex. He can only realize your worth and fall in love with you if he gets some space from you, does whatever he wants for a while, and then fails in life and discerns your worth.
Failure, unhappiness, pain, and maturity are the only things that can cause your ex to ponder about you and improve the way he sees you. So let your ex do what he wants while you start no contact and focus completely on yourself. It’s your best chance at reattracting your ex.
Here are 9 things that make a man miss a woman after a breakup.
How long does it take for a man to miss you after no contact?
As you now know, there is no generic answer that can answer when a guy will miss you after the breakup. No relationship expert or breakup guru can tell you that because every guy lives a different life and faces different struggles.
Some guys live a busy life and others not so busy. This means that your ex could start missing you days, weeks, or months into no contact. It could also take years before your ex starts thinking about you and missing you because it’s possible your ex would first need to fall in love with someone new, get into a serious relationship with her, encounter big problems throughout the relationship, and then finally, fail miserably.
This is something that could take a very long time and may or may not happen. So don’t think that no contact is some kind of guaranteed tool that will make your ex miss you in a certain number of days. The only thing no contact guarantees is your full emotional recovery. And that’s it.
If your ex comes back because of it, that’s only a bonus – a cherry on top.
I know you’re interested in no contact mainly because you want your ex to realize your worth and come back. But you have to remember that before you can get your ex back and keep him, you have to get yourself back. You have to regain your power, confidence, and self-love because if you don’t fall in love with yourself and change within, you most likely won’t be able to keep your ex either.
You’ll sound desperate for your ex’s love and attention and make him feel that you need him to enjoy your own life.
Think about it for a minute. What kind of damage would high expectations cause to your ex? I can tell you that expectations wouldn’t just pressure your ex into being with you, but they’d also make your ex feel that you can’t take care of your basic needs – that you’re codependent.
Keep in mind that as long as you’re not happy and independent that you provide very little value to your ex. You actually hinder your ex’s happiness and make it almost impossible for him to respect, appreciate, and love you.
That’s a fact. Memorize it or write it down if you have to. Just don’t ignore the importance of working on yourself and expect that no contact will solve all your problems. The truth is that it might bring your ex back, but if you don’t work on yourself, it won’t fix the actual reasons that caused your relationship to fail.
Some of you may think to yourselves, “But it wasn’t my fault my ex had left. He took me for granted/left me for someone else. That may be true. It probably wasn’t your fault. But even if the breakup wasn’t your fault, you need to learn to respect yourself (regain your power) so that your ex doesn’t take you for granted in the future.
You need to improve the way you perceive yourself and how you behave in a relationship so that you don’t take your ex back and watch him pull away again. What you want is to start your next relationship on your terms so that your ex knows it’s his one and only chance at making the relationship work.
When he knows this, he’ll finally respect you and be afraid of losing you. And when he’s afraid of losing you, mark my words that he’ll do everything in his power not to repeat the same mistakes.
Did you learn how long it takes for a man to miss a woman after a break-up? Let me know what you think by posting a comment below this article.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
As a single man in my case which i had no reason to miss my ex low life loser cheating wife since she would sleep around with different men all the time until she was caught. Then after that, she even had the nerve to say to me that we should have an open marriage. Not happening, and i was very lucky with the help of my step father that even found a good lawyer for me which i was divorced in just three weeks.
Hi Zan,
My ex went back to his ex after our relationship failed miserably. When I read this, I get the idea that I was the woman in “dating gone terribly wrong.” Truth is, it did go really bad. He’s back to his ex now who I assumes he thinks is his ticket to a stable relationship. What do you think? Do you think he might have a thought to give us a try again if they don’t work out or would that be the most ridiculous thought. I’m just asking. Oh, and they have a little boy together who they both love and care for a lot. That helps bond them. Any advice? I’m on 18 days NC
Hi Sarah.
Your ex will give his ex (new girlfriend) another try. If their relationship doesn’t work out though, he could bounce back to you. My advice is not to wait for your ex. It could take him a very long time to fail again. And even if he fails, there’s no guarantee that he’ll go back to you rather than someone new.
Stay strong, Sarah!
Kind regards,
Zan
Always so on point! The very best thing that I did was going to NC and the very first ever place that I leaned for it is on you page
So thank you Zan!!
Thanks for reading! I’m glad you liked the article.
Zan
Don’t do it. You’ve thrown almost 2 decades away. Please learn what the universe or fate or your God is trying to teach you. We keep being taught the same lessons until we finally learn and move forward. I believe in you—you have a good heart. Don’t throw it away again on this jerk.
My ex broke up with me a little over 2 years ago. He was also my ex from 18 years ago. We reconnected again after 14 years when he got a divorce. He reached out to me on social media and we began a long distance relationship for 3 years. He told me how much he appreciated that I was there for him and how much I had supported him through the tough times. I am not sure what happened and why things ended with us. One minute he’s talking about a future together then one day he’s telling me it is over over on the phone. I haven’t seen him since then. He started seeing someone else not that long after the breakup and told me that we couldn’t be friends. He didn’t think it was good idea to stay in contact either. It took me about 5 months until I got to a good place where I wasn’t depress and I went into indefinite no contact. Throughout our breakup I always wonder if he misses me. Everything you wrote is so true. He called me out of the blue last month and then he texted me asking me how I was doing a few weeks ago. He never posted anything on social media in 3 years but last week his best friend tagged him in a pic when he came to visit. I noticed that no girl commented or like the pic except for family members. I wonder if he broke it off with his rebound and that’s why he’s reaching out to me . It feels different this time when he reached out because he asked if we could stay in touch. When I stopped thinking about him and accepted that we may not ever get back together then I finally hear from him. i am so confused. I am still in love with him and wish he would just ask me back. I am not letting him know that’s how I really feel. I am not sure if he’s testing the waters when he reached out. I don’t know what to do at this point to get him back. Do you think I have a good chance of getting him back and that I need to make the next move?
If a man leaves you, especially twice, he’s not the one for you. He comes back because you make yourself available and probably not because he’s “realized his mistakes” and wants to reconcile. If I were you, I would try to move on. Also, I would get counseling because it seems that maybe some codependency at play. You deserve to be happy.You can move on and can attract someone who will never leave you and will value you as a person. First, you probably need to work on yourself extensively and in doing so you will become more confident, resilient, and SURE about your boundaries and relationship expectations. I’d also suggest watching some relationship videos with Tony Gaskins, RC Blake’s, and Chloe_ to build up your knowledge base. Yiu can’t react differently without new information. If you allow him back into your life, it’s very probably that he will leave again, and you dont have time to waste on people who are indecisive or use you as a placeholder. You deserve better.
I broke up with him 18 years ago. He wanted to marry me but I wasn’t ready. He was always the one that got away. He told me that we will one day fiind our way back to each other. I didn’t wait around for him. I was in other relationships. I always felt that he was my soulmate and always thought about h throughout the years. When we got back together 14 years later I felt it was fate. He is a good person with a big heart that’s why I fell for him. I think the reason for the second breakup was because of the long distance and I think I took him for granted.
I hope that everything works out for the best no matter what you choose to do. 🙂