7 Signs Your Ex Just Wants To Sleep With You

If you’re worried your ex doesn’t want a relationship and just wants to sleep with you, you’re probably seeing some signs that show a lack of commitment in your ex. You’re seeing red flags that make it hard for you to fully trust your ex and invest your emotions and time the way you did when you were together.

Your ex is probably saying or doing strange things that prevent you from bonding and getting back together. He or she is taking things lightly and slowly and making you think he or she has ulterior motives that have nothing to do with the relationship. Because of confusing behavior, your ex is giving you hope, stringing you along, and wasting your valuable post-breakup time.

Time you could use to get over the breakup, improve yourself, and enjoy your life.

If your ex just wants to sleep with you, your ex probably doesn’t have many (or any) other romantic or sexual options. You’re the only or the best person available to your ex to be physical with. Sleeping with you makes your ex feel sexually fulfilled and lets him or her have a no-strings-attached relationship.

This means your ex can do the deed and focus on him/herself afterward. Your ex doesn’t have to plan relationship things with you and spend unnecessary time and energy on you. The dynamics of a fiends-with-benefits relationship allow your ex to worry only about his or her wants and needs and ignore your romantic feelings.

If you love your ex and notice that your ex just wants to sleep with you, my advice is to run. Run fast and far because sex is unlikely to change your ex’s romantic opinion of you. It’s much more likely to make you more attached to your ex and desperate for affection and commitment.

Sex will make you feel desired and urge you to talk your ex into being with you. Consequently, your ex will feel trapped and uncomfortable. So much so that your ex will put an end to the sexual relationship and seek fulfillment elsewhere.

So bear in mind that settling for friendship with benefits is self-degrading and a huge mistake. It’s an agreement bound to temporarily please your ex and drive you crazy with obsessive thoughts and unmet romantic needs. Every minute you spend sexually connecting with your ex, you deprive yourself of self-love and healing.

You force yourself to stay hungry for validation that you’ll never get.

Hence, sleeping with the dumper will make the situation worse, not better. Instead of rebuilding your self-esteem, growing stronger, and learning from your mistakes, it will increase your obsession with your ex and prevent you from letting go and finding joy and purpose away from your ex.

If you feel tempted to ignore the signs that your ex just wants to sleep with you and nothing else, bear in mind that losing your ex completely is better than becoming your ex’s sexual partner. It’s better to cut your ex off and go cold turkey than to abandon your dignity and be of no romantic value to your ex.

As a dumpee, you must do things that help you detach and be happy. This means you must avoid sleeping with your ex, befriending your ex, and talking to your ex as if you both want the same things. If one person wants a relationship and the other doesn’t, there’s nothing to talk about.

You both want different things from each other and don’t see a reason to change them. You must stay away from each other until something changes and evens out your needs and expectations. When they’re even (or similar), the dumper will come out of hiding and present his or her desire and plan to be an equal romantic partner. The dumper will seek your attention, return the power stolen from you, and do everything he or she can to reconnect with you emotionally and provide reassurance.

That’s because the dumper will understand your value and need you to reach his or her relationship/life goals.

If you see the signs that your ex just wants to sleep with you, tell your ex you’re not ready to be friends/sexual partners and distance yourself from your ex. Say that you need space to focus on yourself and process things. A mature and respectful ex will understand where you’re coming from and let you be.

Only an entitled ex will accuse you of being selfish, mean, or cold and demand that you fulfill all of his or her needs. Such an ex doesn’t care how you feel and mustn’t be reasoned with. Part your ways with him/her as quickly as possible and ignore his or her tantrums and demands.

You don’t owe your dumper ex anything. He or she owes you respect and should have let go of you after breaking up with you, rather than stringing you along for personal gain.

So tell your ex you’re done and that you want to be alone. Don’t feel bad for your ex. Your ex should feel bad for confusing you and wasting your precious time.

In today’s post, we talk about 7 signs your ex just wants to sleep with you. You already know what to do if you notice your ex is using you, so let’s get straight to the signs.

1)Your ex compliments you superficially

If your ex compliments your appearance – the things you first notice about a person, your ex doesn’t appreciate what’s underneath your skin. He or she stopped valuing your personality and only likes the way you attract him or her physically. Physical attraction is all your ex cares about after losing emotional attraction to you.

You can tell your ex just wants to sleep with you if your ex completely ignores your qualities and achievements and goes straight to complimenting your chest, rear, face, and skills in bed. Sexual compliments after a breakup don’t indicate regret, pain, and romantic attraction (signs your ex wants you back).

They indicate that your ex feels sexually deprived, frustrated, or attracted to you and that he or she is okay with engaging in sex despite breaking up. That in itself is a warning sign that your ex has emotionally clocked out and lost the drive to form a tight emotional bond.

A relationship can’t be fixed, nor maintained with sex alone. Sex is just a band-aid on bigger, unresolved problems. It’s a sexual activity for couples to deepen their love and bond. After the breakup, however, sex has a different effect on exes. For dumpers, it’s purely pleasure-driven whereas for dumpees, it provides a boost of self-esteem, reassurance, and attachment.

Dumpers can walk away with no restrictions or obligations (no strings attached) whereas dumpees feel hopeful and find it harder to let go.

If your ex compliments you superficially/sexually, your ex doesn’t care about who you are and what you have to offer as a romantic partner. Your ex only knows that you make a decent sexual partner and that you can still be of some use.

Romantically, you may no longer have much to offer (due to his/her detachment), but sexually, you can still satisfy your ex’s urges. That makes you someone your ex can rely on until your ex has met someone who can fulfill both emotional and sexual needs.

So pay close attention to your ex’s compliments. If they’re of a sexual nature, your ex has sexual plans for you and just wants to sleep with you. Your ex might want sex only once or twice, but that doesn’t change the fact that your ex finds you attractive and considers you a temporary sexual distraction.

2)Your ex flirts and makes sexual innuendos

If your ex flirts with you and/or makes sexual innuendos, your ex likely has sexual expectations of you. Your ex thinks of you as someone who can fulfill him or her sexually until someone new and different comes along.

Flirting after the breakup is unfortunately not something dumpers do when they feel hurt and want their ex to validate them. Most hurt dumpers are sad, anxious, and regretful and dread making a mistake with their ex. They worry that if they say or do the wrong thing, their ex will reject them and move on with his or her life.

The same goes for sexual innuendos. They demonstrate a desire for sexual pleasure rather than pain and eagerness to reconcile.

Some examples of sexual innuendos are:

• It’s so big
• When can I come over to fix your pipes?
• That’s what she said
• I’m good with my hands
• I have a huge appetite
• Do you want to play doctor?

Flirting, on the other hand, is more direct. It varies from person to person, but generally, it involves eye contact, touching, leaning in, sexual compliments, sending winks and kiss emojis, sexual GIFs, and selfies.

When an ex expresses sexual energy and desire to sleep with you, remember that flirting and innuendos are relationship and dating behaviors. They’re behaviors that occur due to sexual arousal way ahead of time on your ex’s terms.

Your ex knows that he or she shouldn’t be flirting with you and making you think that you could get back together if you reciprocate sexual behaviors. If your ex flirts and gives the impression that he or she likes you, you should remember that it’s a sign your ex just wants to sleep with you.

Most of the time, flirty comments will come out of the blue. You won’t see them coming because your ex will flirt when his or her libido rises.

3)Your ex is super friendly with you

When your ex is way too friendly to you (inviting you out, buying you things, and acting like nothing happened), your ex either wants to befriend you or sleep with you. Either way, your ex doesn’t care about your feelings and wants to keep you in his or her life for the wrong (selfish) reasons.

You mustn’t let your ex treat you like a friend or your ex will think you’re happy to be his/her friend or friend with benefits. Instead of tolerating your ex’s excessive friendliness, set some healthy boundaries. Let your ex know you’re not open to post-breakup friendship and that you’ll let him or her know when you are.

This will keep your ex out of your life and allow you to heal.

Always remember that an ex who likes you romantically won’t continue to hang out with you and ignore his or her need for validation and security. An ex with romantic feelings will be in a hurry to get out of the friend zone and change friendship into partnership.

Only exes who want friendship or relationship benefits for free lead their ex down the garden path. Such exes put their own needs before their ex’s suffering.

4)Your ex avoids serious/emotional topics

It’s no secret that an ex who only wants you sexually can’t handle deep, serious, and emotional topics. He or she can’t and doesn’t want to talk about the relationship. This includes plans to repair the broken relationship and ensure the relationship doesn’t end for the same reasons.

Serious post-breakup topics signify reflection and growth whereas a lack of such conversations indicates stagnation and conformity. If exes aren’t transparent and don’t discuss relationship matters, they can’t correct their mistakes, rebuild trust, and work together as a couple.

Exes wishing to get back together must talk about their regrets, emotions, expectations, and ways to improve the relationship. They must communicate as equals and have similar wants, needs, and expectations.

If they do, they can have serious conversations and get back together.

5)Your ex booty calls you and leaves after

If your ex comes over in the evenings and leaves after sex or early in the morning, it’s evident that your ex sees you as a sexual object. He or she doesn’t feel the need to stay after sleeping with you because he or she doesn’t get anything positive out of it. Sex is all your ex wants and sex is all he or she stays for.

The moment your ex gets sexually fulfilled, your ex rests, loses interest in doing things with you, and wants to leave.

You could notice your ex canceling plans, arguing, and appearing cold, tired, and disinterested. Your ex’s attitude will change because your ex won’t need you anymore. Your ex will instead think about people and things that motivate and require him or her to invest in.

Although it’s normal to be tired after engaging in a sexual activity, it’s not normal to be mean and against bonding. Couples use sex as a tool to appreciate each other and feel closer. Those who don’t, obviously aren’t a couple. They have no romantic feelings and no interest in reconnecting romantically.

So if your ex calls you over for sex or invites him/herself over and avoids bonding and making plans for the relationship, your ex is using you. Your ex is getting the last thing he or she can from you before your ex moves on to someone else and forgets about you.

6)Your ex texts/calls late at night

If your ex only texts or calls late at night, your ex is either working late or is lonely or turned on. If it’s the latter, your ex communicates with you in the evening/night because no other/better person is available to give your ex attention. You’re the only one your ex can rely on for company or sexual pleasure.

Late-night texting isn’t something to look forward to. It’s an activity dumpees and dumpers do to feel entertained, validated, and sexually fulfilled.

If you notice a pattern of your ex interacting with you late at night, keep in mind that your ex doesn’t want you back. Your ex just wants to get rid of boredom, loneliness, sexual desires, or sexual frustrations.

It’s in your best interest to stop talking to your ex not only at night but always. Talk to your ex only if you have kids together or something you need to cooperate with.

7)Your ex is still getting to know someone new but sleeping with you

The 6th and last sign your ex just wants to sleep with you is if your ex is sleeping with you while he or she is in the early stages of getting to know someone new.

Sometimes dumpers sleep with their ex even though they’re talking to someone else. This happens because they want to ensure their new dating candidate is the right person for them before they leap from their ex to the new person. They want to be certain the new person wants them, will leave his/her spouse for them, or will change or do something before they fully commit.

In such cases, dumpers may keep sleeping with their ex and telling their ex all the nice things. They may keep doing that until the new person wins or loses their trust.

So if your ex is sleeping with you and someone else interchangeably, know that your ex currently just wants to sleep with you. Your ex doesn’t see a future with you because he or she is waiting for the circumstances preventing him or her from committing to the new person to change. If they change, your ex will stop sleeping with you and focus on the new person.

And if your ex gets tired of chasing and hurting, your ex will return to you or return to you only temporarily until your ex finds someone else and tries his or her luck again.

What do you think about the 7 signs your ex just wants to sleep with you? Let us know if you can think of any other signs in the comments below.

However, if you’d like to chat in detail about these signs or any other breakup topic, check out our coaching options and get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.