6 Signs Your Ex Is Trying To Get Your Attention

If you’re looking for signs that your ex is trying to get your attention, you’ve come to the right place.

An ex could try to get your attention in person, online, through friends, by calling or texting you, or in any way that directly or indirectly grabs your attention and makes you think about your ex. The more attention your ex seeks, the less prepared your ex is to live the post-breakup life independently, and/or the less your ex understands that breadcrumbing confuses you and hurts you.

But before you get too excited about the signs in this article, don’t assume that an ex who’s trying to get your attention wants you back. Although that might be the case for some dumpers, most dumpers covet their ex’s attention because they feel bad for hurting their ex or because their life isn’t going very well and want help or friendship.

Only a fraction of dumpers wants their ex’s attention to restart the relationship. But those dumpers don’t just get their ex’s attention and do nothing with it. Rather than being passive about it, they take an active approach and try to get more than just a brief moment of attention.

They want all of it for themselves because if they don’t get it, they continue being hurt, unsure of themselves, and uncertain about the future.

So if you’re interested in learning about signs your ex is trying to get your attention, bear in mind that your ex could try to get your attention in different ways and for different reasons – not just to get you back. If you’re brokenhearted, your heart will probably make you look for these signs to ease your anxiety and regain control of your life. You need to keep your hopes low so that you don’t wait for your ex to make a move.

In this post, we’ll talk about various signs your ex is trying to get your attention.

1)Your ex is interacting with you on social media

If your ex is just briefly mentioning you on social media, your ex is probably not trying to get your attention. Your ex is trying to get his/her followers’ attention and relieve anger, disappointment, or some kind of negative emotion.

An ex who’s trying to get your attention online will usually post heartbroken things and explain why things had to end the way they did. He or she will reason with you through the distance because your ex will know that you’ll read his or her posts and have a better understanding of the breakup as a result.

If you’re still online friends, your ex probably sees social media as a tool to indirectly communicate with you about lots of things. But the thing that is the most important to your ex is that you understand your ex’s decision to end the relationship and the way your ex feels because of it.

Your ex is human too, so your ex wants to feel understood.

You shouldn’t expect your dumper ex to beg for your attention though. I haven’t heard any breakup stories where the dumper would say things like:

• Please speak to me, I miss you
• I can’t go on without you
• This is killing me, talk to me
• I love you so much
• I wish I didn’t mess up so badly
• Take me back

These things sound too desperate for the dumper to post publicly for others to see. If the dumper wants you back, he or she will just tell you that privately.

Some things your ex could say on social media to get your attention (not make you reach out) are:

• Sometimes breaking up is the right thing to do
• It wasn’t what we wanted, but what we needed
• One day, you’ll understand it was for the best
• I want you to know I’m hurting and that I miss you
• Why do people change so much?

Your ex’s social media posts could be quite difficult to interpret. Dumpers often quote writers and use generally spoken breakup statements to express their frustrations and justify their behavior. They want to get things off their chests, so they say something they want their ex and others to know.

If you see your ex posting breakup stuff on social media, your ex’s posts are either directed at you or caused by you. Either way, you shouldn’t try to read too much into them. No matter what your ex posts, your ex is still the dumper who needs to put in the effort and communicate with you directly if it’s about getting back together.

If it’s not about that, your ex needs to leave you alone and even stop trying to communicate with you long-distance. All social media posts do is confuse you and give you more hope.

Your ex may also like your posts. That could indicate that your ex is ready to converse again and talk like nothing happened. Whatever you do, know that you needn’t communicate with your ex if you’re not ready to be friends yet. You can just continue to focus on yourself and detach.

2)Your ex keeps contacting you

It doesn’t get more obvious that your ex is trying to get your attention than when your ex constantly contacts you about something and can’t seem to let go of you. Such behavior proves that your ex is attached to you or that your ex has plans for you that you may not be aware of.

A few things you may not be aware of are that your ex wants friendship, friendship with benefits, or reassurance that you’ll be okay on your own. If your ex sees that you’re coping well with the breakup, your ex can continue feeling relieved and elated without a guilty conscience.

Sometimes dumpers stay in touch because they feel bad and need you to stop feeling bad. They can’t forgive themselves for hurting you, so they need you to forgive them before they can forgive themselves. If you help them, they forgive themselves and often stop reaching out.

And if you don’t help them, they look for alternate ways to appease guilt and other difficult emotions. Either way, they don’t need dumpees forever. They tend to need them just for a few months after the breakup. And that’s only if they’re highly empathetic and bear the responsibility for hurting their exes.

Also, many dumpers contact their exes for unimportant reasons just so they can communicate with their exes and not feel forgotten. They’d rather keep their exes around than have no one to rely on. I suppose this is true for dumpers who don’t start dating someone new after the breakup.

Those who start dating have plenty of love and support and don’t need any from their exes.

So if your ex keeps contacting you, bear in mind that your ex has ulterior motives. You may feel like your ex has gone back to his or her usual self, but your ex is far from it. Your ex just wants to keep you around to heal (if your ex feels guilty) or for convenience (if your ex has formed a habit of regularly talking with you and relying on you).

Here are the most usual reasons your ex could try to get your attention:

• guilt
• anxiety
• depression
• uncertainty
• nostalgia
• fear
• convenience
• boredom
• curiosity

Your ex could also try to get your attention by sending you pictures, memes, and things you don’t care about now that you’re no longer together. No matter what your ex is sending you or telling you, you need to stop your ex’s breadcrumbing by telling your ex to stop reaching out.

The sooner you do that, the sooner you’ll stop wondering what your ex’s intentions are and if you should take the initiative and ask your ex to meet up.

3)Your ex is trying to make you jealous

A sign that your ex is trying to get your attention is when your ex is trying to make you jealous. This could be at work, home, club, online, or anywhere at all. Exes who show off to evoke jealousy do so because they feel unimportant and undesired. They want to know that they’re attractive and that you still feel something for them.

Don’t ask me why they would want your attention after they’ve broken up with you, but some just do. I suppose they can’t stand not being admired and chased, so they play dirty.

Keep in mind that an ex who’s dating someone else seriously probably won’t try to make you jealous. He or she will focus on the new person instead and not worry about whether you’re bothered by it or not. Wondering about that would be a big waste of energy and time.

The ideal description of someone who wants to make you jealous and grab your attention is a young, immature person who doesn’t understand that jealousy games are immature and pointless. They don’t achieve anything other than stroke a person’s ego.

So if your ex is trying to make you jealous, know that your ex is not just trying to get your attention but also striving to get a reaction out of you. A reaction would tell your ex that he or she has the ability to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

It would essentially make your ex feel good about himself or herself.

4)Your ex is drunk-dialing or “accidentally” calling you

Another sign your ex is trying to get your attention is when your ex drunk dials you. Some people get emotional when they drink, meaning that their guilt, shame, and nostalgia increase significantly. They get so bad for some people that they can’t help but call their ex, indulge in retrospection, and sometimes even flirt with their ex.

Of course, such feelings last only for as long as dumpers are intoxicated. When they sober up, they normally regret what they did and continue to focus on themselves and stay away from their ex.

Your ex could also try to get your attention by calling from a hidden/regular number or pretending to have misdialed you. Your ex could do this because he or she misses the connection and feels awful for throwing it all away.

The problem though is that your ex probably won’t miss you enough to want you back. Your ex could just want to check up on you and talk to you because he or she is going through something difficult.

So if your ex calls you just to see how you’re doing (especially after drinking or getting hurt), keep in mind that your ex is calling you for the wrong emotional reasons. Your ex may be hurting, but your ex hasn’t yet realized your importance and fallen back in love with you.

That’s why your ex is just trying to get your attention to help himself or herself focus on the present. Your ex doesn’t care much about your feelings.

5)Your ex is following you around

This is more of a dumpee thing, but sometimes (although extremely rarely) dumpers stalk their exes in person too. They do it when dumpees aren’t responding to their calls and texts and indeliberately make them feel rejected and unwanted.

That’s when dumpers get hurt and show where their exes frequent. This can be at work, restaurants, home, and even holiday resorts. An ex who needs reassurance or some kind of assistance will go the extra mile to ensure that he or she feels secure and appreciated.

He or she will probably invite you out and/or try to get back together with you. That’s because someone who stalks you in person has a strong emotional incentive for doing that and wants validation urgently from you.

Dumpers who want to move on don’t need to appease their guilt so badly that they see their exes in person. They can do that through the distance by apologizing or sneakily asking for forgiveness.

So pay extra attention to an ex who starts showing up at places you frequently go to. It could be that your ex is jealous, suspicious, needs reassurance, or wants you back.

6)Your ex is unsure about the breakup

The last sign that your ex is trying to get your attention is when your ex is doubting his or her decision to break up with you. Doubts could make your ex confused and force your ex to message you to decide whether to go with you or some other person.

If your ex is confused, your ex will communicate with you similarly to before the breakup and string you along. He or she won’t know what the right thing to do is, so you can expect your ex to keep you engaged and entertained for as long as doing so is convenient for your ex.

If your ex decides to give someone new a chance, your ex will discard you very quickly. That’s because your ex won’t be able to focus on two people at the same time. One person will captivate your ex more than enough.

So if you think that your ex is trying to get your attention, figure out what kind of attention your ex wants. If your ex needs help with something urgent (let’s say with kids or family), help your ex. But if your ex feels bad and wants to keep you around for a while, cut your ex off immediately.

The sooner you get rid of your ex, the quicker you’ll heal and get ready for a new relationship.

Did you notice any of the signs that your ex is trying to get your attention? What kind of attention is your ex looking for? Post your discoveries below the post.

And as always, if you’d like to discuss your ex’s behavior with us, subscribe to coaching with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.