4 Signs Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again

As a dumpee, you probably don’t want to miss the signs that your ex is becoming interested again. You want to be familiar with early reconciliation signs so you know if your ex is coming back or is only interested in getting something non-romantic from you.

Something like friendship, forgiveness, advice, emotional support, and a moment of sentimentality. 

If you don’t notice the signs your ex is becoming interested again, you won’t necessarily fail at reattracting your ex. But you could obtain tons of hope from your ex and get highly anxious for weeks or months, depending on how you interpret your ex’s messages and how you react to them.

For example, if you stop your ex from reaching out and confusing you right away, you’ll probably recover in a matter of days. You won’t hold on to hope because you’ll know your ex has no romantic intentions with you.

But if you naively convince yourself that a few random messages indicate growing romantic attraction, then you’ll more than likely set yourself up for pain and failure. You’ll suffer because you’ll get your hopes and dreams crushed.

You must understand that not every text or change within your ex is a sign that your ex is becoming interested again. Your ex is bound to change his or her behavior and attitude. These changes could be big or small and look as if your ex is returning to his or her pre-breakup self.

That means your ex could go from:

• angry to calm
• cold to neutral
• blaming you to treating you well
• going out a lot to staying in
• posting empowering breakup quotes to complaining about life to you
• dating to being single

Your ex could essentially stop feeling relieved and elated and be forced to deal with the reality of his or her life. While your ex is still recovering, your ex could contact you and appear “normal” to you. But “normal” isn’t enough for your ex to come back.

Your ex must experience much bigger changes than the ones he or she is currently going through. Your ex must encounter something unpredictable that throws him or her off guard, triggers difficult emotions, and changes his or her mentality and perception of you.

When that happens, your ex will give you genuine signs your ex is becoming interested again.

Regretful exes who are genuinely looking for reconciliation tend to display common behaviors such as sadness, emotional vulnerability, open-mindedness, and a willingness to work things out. They regret leaving and, therefore, approach their ex directly and express their regret.

So learn what signs exes display when they’re on their way back.

By knowing what signs to look out for when your ex gives you something to work with, you can make an important decision.

You can:

1. Give your ex another chance.
2. Refuse to give your ex another chance.
3. Or acknowledge that your ex doesn’t want you back and that you need to keep your distance and pride.

In today’s article, we talk about 4 signs your ex is becoming interested again. We also show you how to proceed with caution when you’re still figuring out if your ex wants you back.

1)Your ex is frequently initiating contact and seeking your attention

Most dumpees dream of a time when their ex reaches out and shows interest in them. They’re tired of being the only ones who care and put the work in and want their ex to invest time and emotions as well.

That’s why they go no contact and wait for their ex to find a reason to talk to them. When their ex finds that reason, he or she finally reaches out and makes them happy and anxious at the same time.

The reach-out may be a pointless breadcrumb, but dumpees don’t know that and can’t help feeling excited and nervous.

They’d been eagerly waiting for their ex to give them something to hold on to, so they get overwhelmed by the reach-out and hope that their ex has finally realized their worth and changed his or her mind.

Sadly, a single reach-out is more often than not just a random breadcrumb. It’s often an inquisitive text or call that shows no signs of romantic interest or regret. This can hurt them and prolong their suffering.

On the other hand, some reach-outs initiated by the dumper over a short period of time can depict remorse. This depends on whether the dumper continuously asks for time and attention and seems eager or desperate to reconnect.

Either way, an ex who seems to be in a hurry to talk to you is normally a good sign of regret as it shows a sense of urgency. It shows that of all the people in the world, your ex found you captivating and chose you to converse with.

You’ll probably feel swamped by enormous waves of emotions when your ex finally starts paying you attention, so it may be difficult to tell how your ex feels and what his or her intentions are.

But if it seems that your ex needs you (not just wants you as an ex or a friend), you have one of the best signs your ex is becoming interested again.

An ex who can’t resist speaking to you (after reaching out on his or her terms, of course) is probably dealing with major problems and may have become regretful because of them. He or she is not only contacting you of his or her own accord but is also putting a big importance on talking to you.

That means your replies have the power to make your ex stop feeling something unwanted and allow your ex to feel something wanted or needed. You need to figure out what that is so you can quickly discern whether your ex is reaching out to use you or to be with you.

If your ex wants to use you, your ex will make the reach-outs all about him or her. He or she could squeeze a quick “How are you” question in there, but all in all, your ex will remain the center of the conversation. It will be all about your ex’s problems and feelings.

However, if your ex has become regretful and is starting to realize your worth and ability to make him or her happy, then your ex will focus on you and ask you all sorts of questions.

Yes, this includes questions about your dating life, but many dumpers with non-romantic intentions ask these kinds of questions too. That’s why you should pay attention to whether your ex wants you to take the lead and talk about yourself.

Questions about you show interest in your life and in wanting to take your focus off him/her. By getting you to speak about yourself, your ex can minimize the chance of you remembering how he or she treated you and show you he or she cares about your life and feelings.

So make sure to pay attention to how your ex speaks to you. If your ex speaks about himself or herself, talks as if you never dated, and shows no negative emotions such as anxiety, nervousness, and fear of rejection, your ex is reaching out for non-romantic purposes.

It could be to appease guilt, check up on you, see if you’re still heartbroken, and determine if it’s safe to converse.

But if your ex keeps talking to you a lot and making it seem like he or she wants to say or do something with you, then your ex is likely nervous and scared of losing you for good. This is a good sign as your ex needs to be afraid to want you back.

Fear and anxiety tell you that your ex has run into problems and that he or she may have had an epiphany and wants you back.

2)Your ex is complimenting you

Look, if your ex is casually saying you’ve made some positive changes such as improving your physique, self-awareness, and communication, your ex probably doesn’t want you back yet.

Casual compliments aren’t proof of regret and redeveloped romantic feelings. They’re signs your ex has noticed the work you’ve done and that he or she wants you to keep working on yourself.

Before your ex can fall back in love with you, your ex needs a reason to fall back in love with you. He or she needs a strong incentive that can eliminate negative perceptions of you and replace them with a desire for love.

Only then can your ex love you for who you are and point it out to you. You need to know the difference between pointing out your growth and appreciating your growth.

If your ex merely points it out without appreciating it, your ex doesn’t want to benefit from it. Your ex just wants you to know he or she is proud of you for making some positive changes. What you want is for your ex to want your improvements, personality, and ability to make you happy to himself/herself.

If your ex wants to possess you in a healthy way, you have quite a strong sign that your ex’s interest in you is growing. That’s because your ex depends on you for happiness and love.

So don’t just look for superficial compliments from your ex such as compliments that point out your looks and the things you’ve worked on after the breakup. Look for compliments that go beyond the superficial/friendship level.

This could be compliments that express gratitude and value your personality.

Here are a few compliments to look out for:

• I really enjoy spending time with you
• I like how I feel around you
• You always know how to make me feel better
• You’re perfect the way you are
• You set a great example for your kids and I love that about you

Such compliments may not be selfless. They often come with romantic expectations as the dumper wants the dumpee to feel good and reciprocate the compliments. A romantic reciprocation instantly makes the dumper feel important, needed, and desired.

So if your ex compliments you, figure out if your ex expects you to compliment him or her back. A personality compliment is very personal and could be one of the biggest signs your ex is becoming interested again.

3)Your ex is emotionally engaged and romantically nostalgic

This is yet another ambiguous sign that could be very dangerous for you if you misread it. Sometimes dumpers become nostalgic and talk about the past even though they have no intention of getting back together.

They just miss the friendship part of the relationship and the way they felt when things were simpler or different.

Nostalgia can cause them to say and do confusing things. You need to ignore them so you don’t get your hopes up and think your ex is finally coming back to you.

The main thing you need to ignore is random/non-romantic memories from your past relationship. Things like, “Hey, do you remember when we slipped on ice and couldn’t feel our butts for a week?”

Funny, scary, or adventurous things may mean a lot to you because you’re hurting and want to re-experience them, but it’s unlikely that an ex who wants you back will indulge in nostalgia like that.

It’s much more likely that your ex will skip non-romantic nostalgia and go straight to the romantic one.

Your ex could say things like:

• I miss sitting on the beach with you and staring into the sky
• I miss holding your hand and hugging you
• I missed the way you smiled and laughed
• Your jokes always brightened up my day
• I wish I could spend more time with you

Always remember that an ex won’t joke about the past much. He or she might try to make you remember a funny moment or two, but all in all, he or she will focus on the happy romantic moments.

Such moments will be more important to your ex because your ex will want to make you feel romantic emotions.

If your ex wants to make you laugh and remember random moments that have nothing to do with the romantic part of the relationship, it’s clear your ex doesn’t have any romantic feelings and romantic interest in you. Your ex just misses the friendship and you as a person.

So look out for signs of romantic nostalgia – signs that your ex wants you back romantically. If you think of every single thing your ex does as a sign that your ex wants you back, you could stay hopeful, anxious, and obsessed with your ex for a very long time.

If you want what’s best for you, don’t consider everything a sign that your ex wants you back.

Some things may feel good (especially after a period of no contact), but it’s more important to protect your heart than it is to know your ex is on his or her way back to you.

So be careful and try not to think that your ex wants you back if your ex just:

• checks up on you
• says he/she misses you
• appears jealous
• tries to make you jealous
• looks at you
• gets angry
• flirts with you

4)Your ex is showing physical affection

We’ve discussed emotional affection (complimenting and wanting to spend time with you), so it’s only fair that we talk about physical affection as well.

When your ex touches you, holds hands with you, and teases you, your ex probably finds you attractive and wants you to touch him or her back. Physical touch indicates a desire for affection and that your ex has processed the negativity he or she needed to process.

Physical touching is more than just flirting. It’s proof that your ex finds you attractive and that your ex wants to take things to the next level. This can be your acknowledgment, followed by a relationship conversation and physical intimacy.

If intimacy happens before the relationship conversation, you’ll instantly give your ex the most intimate part of you and stop your ex from working on increasing the bond and winning your trust back.

That’s why I encourage you not to sleep with your ex until your ex has talked about regrets and exclusivity. Make sure your ex understands the severity of the situation and that you won’t get back together the moment he or she reappears. You need to respect yourself and take things slow.

If your ex agrees to that and lets you stay in control for a while, he or she will learn to invest in you and build a strong foundation.

However, if your ex refuses or gets tired of taking things slow, your ex will leave and do you a huge favor. He or she will get out of your life and make you glad you refused to let your ex use you and abandon you.

That being said, here are 4 signs your ex is becoming interested again.

If your ex is becoming interested, you don’t need to woo your ex and worry that your ex will move on. You just need to be patient and let your ex’s feelings grow. When they do (and they will very quickly if they’re meant to), your ex will become more determined to obtain your love and reassurance.

Your ex’s approach will become more direct and obvious that your ex is interested in you again.

So don’t act on anxiety and start giving your ex everything you’ve got the moment your ex gives you a sign that he or she is developing feelings for you. Remember that love is based on self-respect and that without it, your ex could stop valuing you and fall out of love again.

Your ex could see that you’re way more desperate for love than him or her and that getting involved with you would be exhausting and a big mistake.

No matter how eager your ex appears to be to get to know you intimately, love yourself, and show restraint. Let your ex work for your trust, attention, affection, and intimacy. That’s the only way your ex will appreciate you fully and become afraid of getting dumped and not being with you.

What do you think about the 4 signs your ex is becoming interested again? Can you think of any other signs? Let us know in the comments area underneath the post—and we’ll get back to you soon!

Lastly, if you want to share your breakup story and want to know if your ex is becoming interested again, sign up for coaching and get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.