Many people (usually dumpees) want to know what types of breakups get back together. They want to know if their breakup fits into the category of breakups likely to lead to reconciliation and of course happiness. They want nothing more than to reconcile with their ex and stop feeling miserable.
When they stop feeling depressed and anxious, they can also stop spending most of their time obsessing over their ex.
If you’re tired of hurting and wondering when exes get back together, know that certain exes indeed get back together more often than others. They reconcile because their reasons for breaking up prevent them from becoming spiteful and vengeful.
They continue to respect each other as ex-partners, so they’re able to redevelop romantic feelings when they feel regretful and start a new (hopefully healthier) relationship. Not all new relationships last, of course. Many exes reconcile and break up again.
They do that because they fall into the same patterns and merely hope for different results. They don’t put enough work in to fix their shortcomings and avoid breaking up.
So before you even learn about the types of breakups that get back together, figure out if you and your ex are even capable of growing and preventing another breakup. Getting back together without addressing the reasons for breaking up would be a big mistake because it would delay the inevitable – another breakup.
It would hurt you again and waste your time.
With the warning out of the way, let’s now talk about the 10 types of breakups that get back together.
1)Mutual breakups
Some of the most common breakups that get back together are mutual breakups. Mutual breakups can be salvaged, provided couples fail to find happiness without each other and realize they’re more compatible than they thought.
Post-breakup life lessons can remind them that they got along with their ex and that they may be able to make the relationship work.
The reason why mutual splits can get another chance more often than other types of breakups is that couples don’t harbor any resentment toward each other. They think the breakup needed to happen and that there’s someone more compatible for them out there.
Someone who can fulfill 100% of their needs, not just 80% of them.
Although they initially believe there’s indeed a better romantic prospect waiting for them, this belief tends to dissipate when they see how hard it is to find a compatible long-term partner who understands them emotionally. Slowly, they remember that the relationship gave them security but that it stopped making them feel excited.
That’s when they learn that they had a good relationship in the past and that they liked many if not most parts of it. They may fall back in love, provided they’re tired of running around in circles, looking for understanding and compatibility with people who can’t give them what they want.
So bear in mind that mutual breakups could lead back to reconciliation as neither party feels abandoned, unwanted, and mistreated. They both want the same thing (a breakup) and consider each other equals.
Exes who broke up mutually often still like or respect each other and feel like they understand each other and want to stay in each other’s life.
If they learn the lessons they need to learn and make the necessary adjustments, they can give the relationship a proper chance and have a stronger relationship as long as they value each other and want to settle down. All they need is to identify their reasons for growing apart and focus on bonding.
If they focus on things that grow the bond, they can redevelop feelings and recommit as romantic partners.
2)Amicable breakups
Some people think that indifferent exes are less likely to reconcile than angry and bitter ones—and that strong, unhealthy, and volatile emotions indicate a desire to fix things. I don’t know who came up with that, but it isn’t true.
Bitterness and self-victimization prevent exes from improving their opinions of each other and reconnecting emotionally.
They make exes focus on each other’s negative traits and ignore all the nice things they did for each other and the relationship. Angry, mean, and cold behaviors demonstrate detachment, pressure, guilt, or resentment and make it harder for them to get back together.
They need to first process the past before they can find an incentive to get back together.
in simple terms, they have more work to do, and may not do the necessary work unless they learn why growth is important for their happiness, purpose, and long-term security.
Amicable breakups, on the other hand, don’t require much work because ex-couples don’t need to process difficult emotions. They’ve processed them a long time ago (when they were still together) and can just focus on themselves. To get back together after an amicable breakup, they must rediscover each other’s romantic values and fall back in love.
They can do that only by understanding that the path they’re on won’t give them the satisfaction they crave and that they must revisit the past.
3)Attached breakups
Ex-couples with strong emotional attachments get back together more often than others after a breakup. Whether they’re trauma-bonded or attached because of their deep connection or insecure attachment style, they find themselves gravitating toward each other even when they’re physically away from each other.
They don’t want to lose each other because they’re emotionally connected if not dependent on each other.
The closer they are and the more they need each other, the bigger the chance that someone will reinitiate contact and express the desire to get back together. Their attachment could tempt them to seek comfort, validation, and stability from each other rather than relying on themselves or others for their needs.
Attached exes are often:
- insecure
- fearful
- self-doubtful
- goal-less
- purposeless
- and incapable of taking care of themselves financially, emotionally, or physically
They need each other to feel fulfilled, so they find their way back to each other even if they don’t necessarily get along the most. When they’re attached, they tend not to think rationally. They think emotionally and make emotional decisions that fulfill their momentary emotional needs and expectations.
Attachment is more than an emotional bond. It’s an understanding and a feeling that brings exes back and keeps couples committed. Without (a healthy) attachment, couples and ex-couples don’t feel the need to be together. They don’t feel grateful and often entertain the idea of breaking up and starting anew with someone else.
Often, they get back together even if they’re attached for the wrong reasons. Some go through difficult experiences together (the loss of a child, a near-death experience, financial struggles) and feel closer as a result.
Their feelings of closeness caused by difficulties tell them they need each other in their lives and that they should be together because they’ve been through a lot, and that they can continue to support each other.
4)Power-flexing breakups
Many couples break up because they want to feel powerful and respected. They want to change each other’s behaviors by force and appear more caring, loving, respectful, giving, and willing to meet each other’s wants and needs.
Power-flexing breakups are usually caused by one person – the dumper. The dumper doesn’t truly want to break up and move on from the dumpee.
But because he or she is frustrated with the dumpee and lacks the tools to motivate the dumpee to grow and understand him or her, the dumper decides to abandon the relationship anyway. He or she hopes that the breakup will hurt the dumpee and pressure (manipulate) the dumpee to change into the person the dumper wants.
If the dumpee doesn’t chase the dumper and give him or her power and validation, the dumper soon realizes he or she will lose the dumpee and that he or she must reach out and secure a relationship.
Those who break up just to force their ex to change don’t know much about relationships and ways to motivate people to change. They don’t care about their partner’s feelings and just want what they want. They’re happy as long as their ex submits to them, changes his or her behavior, and asks for forgiveness.
So bear in mind that immature couples sometimes break up to extort power from each other. They have fragile egos and see no other way to feel important and needed than to break up in anger and watch their ex come running after them.
5)Uncertain breakups
Breakups marked by uncertainty have some of the highest chances of reconciliation. Exes often undo the breakup shortly after breaking up because they aren’t convinced that breaking up is the best solution to their problems.
They have doubts about being happier alone or with someone else, so they often return to invest in each other and feel secure and loved.
Doubts can cause a breakup as week as undo it. The more doubtful couples are, the more likely that they will act on them. Normally, ex-couples change their mind about the breakup within days of breaking up. They cool off, see things rationally, and realize they still love each other.
Seldom does it take them weeks or longer. When they wait that long, they usually detach fully and move on.
Doubts can change their mind about the breakup only when they have a lot of them and think the relationship is healthy and/or worth their time. They give the relationship another chance because they feel so doubtful they realize each other’s importance and get scared of losing the relationship.
6)Multiple breakups
Multiple breakup couples also get back together. They’re used to breaking up all the time, so they reconcile again and again. They keep doing that until they exhaust the relationship, become resentful, and lose feelings and interest.
Even though exes can get back together after breaking up multiple times, one of the breakups is eventually a final one. If they don’t find a way to work together and stop breaking up, they eventually break up for good and meet someone else (not always in the same order).
When feelings disappear and get replaced by anger and relationship-damaging thoughts, it’s only a matter of time before they move forward with their lives.
That’s why it’s extremely important not to normalize breaking up. A breakup of any kind is a sign that something went seriously wrong and that you and your ex must invest in yourselves. By self-investing, you may avoid breaking up in the future (whether with yourselves or other people).
7)Forced breakups
Some couples are forced to break up because of their parents. Their parents or influential family members and friends manipulate their feelings and make them think and feel like them. Oftentimes, they become and stay resentful as a result of doubts, confusion, and pain they experience thanks to the people close to them.
But sometimes they also learn that they were forced to break up and that their opinion of their ex-partner differs from others.
When that happens, they get back in touch and reconcile. They explain why they did what they did and why they want to get back together.
To make things work, their reconciliation plan must include regrets and ways to deal with people who give them bad relationship advice.
8)Personal issues breakups
It’s not the most common type of breakup that allows ex-couples to get back together, but sometimes dumpers with personal issues mature and learn that their ex had nothing to do with the breakup. They realize they had anger issues, depression, fears of commitment, or other unresolved issues from the past or present that made their ex their scapegoat.
When they understand they left not because their ex wasn’t good enough but because they blamed their ex for their issues, they have an epiphany and feel bad about what they’ve said and done.
They want their ex back and feel more motivated than ever to work on themselves and the relationship.
Some dumpers need a lot of time to learn how they contributed to the breakup. They need months or years to see that their behavior caused them to detach from their ex and discard the relationship.
Dumpees may not want them back years later, but sometimes they need bad things to happen to them to stop thinking of themselves as victims and appreciate what they had.
9)Circumstantial breakups
Some relationships get a second chance when exes realize they broke up because of circumstances rather than incompatibility and lack of love.
When they break up due to distance, a change in work or study, a death or sickness in the family, or other situations that demand more time and effort than the relationship, they may get back together when the circumstances or their mindsets change.
They may reconcile provided they processed the emotions behind the breakup and understand how reconciliation can contribute to their health and well-being.
Some people only make excuses. They say they’re too far from their partner or that they met at the right place at the wrong time. They try to convince themselves, their ex, and others that they truly love their ex but that things outside of their control prevent them from working on the relationship.
They basically try to hide their poor relationship mentality and unwillingness to stay committed when the relationship or life in general becomes challenging.
Such people could eventually learn that they gave up because of unpredictable circumstances and that those circumstances are no longer an issue or that they must work around them.
10)Grass is green syndrome breakups
The last type of breakups that get back together is GIGS: The grass is greener syndrome breakup. This type of breakup can make dumpers see that the grass isn’t greener on the other side and that they overvalued themselves and undervalued their ex.
It can make them regret taking their ex for granted and leaving when things get tough.
Sadly, there’s a bit of luck involved when it comes to GIGS reconciliations. When dumpers meet a developed person, they’re less likely to come back than dumpers who meet someone incapable of maintaining a relationship who uses them just for sex and validation.
They come back the most often when they get into a new relationship and get their expectations crushed. That’s when they reflect on their impulsive actions and run back to their ex for safety, comfort, and familiarity.
I hope you’ve learned what types of breakups get back together the most. If’ve been broken up and/or have questions or a story to share, leave a comment below. We’ll get back to you shortly.
And if you’re looking for personal guidance with your breakup, subscribe to 1-on-1 coaching with us here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
