Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me?

This is a question I get all the time. Many dumpees want to know why their ex unfriended them but didn’t block them. They think and hope that unfriending without blocking means that their ex still has feelings for them and that their ex may be using them as a backup plan.

What unfriending but not blocking really means though is that the dumper doesn’t want to shut the dumpee out completely. At the time of unfriending, he or she is okay with just unfriending as unfriending provides him or her with enough space and control over the breakup.

It lets the dumper keep a satisfactory distance from the dumpee and enables the dumper to focus on his or her wants and needs. Self-focus is the dumper’s top priority after the breakup. As long as the dumper can do what he or she wants and not worry about how to deal with the dumpee, the dumper doesn’t need to block the dumpee.

The dumper can just continue moving on and getting through the dumper stages of a breakup.

Blocking is considered impulsive and extreme and sends the message that the dumper resents the dumpee and doesn’t want to communicate ever again. Of course, lots of dumpers calm down after a while and unblock the dumpee. But that doesn’t mean they want to start talking again and get back together.

Most of them just realize that they went too far and that their ex didn’t deserve to get blocked after everything they went through as a couple. They know their ex deserved closure, friendship, or at the very least, an opportunity to reach out and express himself or herself.

Because dumpers realize they were too hard on the dumpee, they often reach out to the dumpee. They try to assuage their guilt and forgive themselves as self-forgiveness lets them clear their guilty conscience and allows them to stop worrying about their ex.

So if you’re wondering why your ex unfriended you but didn’t block you, bear in mind that your ex didn’t see a reason to block you. Your ex thought that unfriending you gave your ex enough space to feel respected and in control of his or her post-breakup emotions and actions.

Had you begged and pleaded, threatened your ex, and taken revenge, your ex would probably have blocked you. And if your ex felt extremely annoyed and uncomfortable, your ex would also have considered filing a restraining order against you and asking your friends and family to knock some sense into you.

Since your ex didn’t do that, it’s safe to say that you gave your ex enough space and respect to live his or her the way your ex wanted and expected to live it. You didn’t anger or overwhelm your ex or anything like that. At least not to the point where your ex had no choice but to block you and force you to stay away.

You need to understand that if you leave your ex alone, what your ex does and doesn’t do is out of your control. You can’t control how your ex thinks of you and you certainly can’t control how your ex reacts.

But you can minimize your ex’s negative thoughts, feelings, and reactions by making sure you don’t smother, guilt-trip, and bother your ex.

Your ex will appreciate you and respect you more if you refrain from acting on anxiety, fear, and uncertainty and let your ex enjoy his or her newfound space and independence.

So keep in mind that your ex will likely block you or react poorly to you if you say or do something he or she doesn’t like. Any kind of overwhelming behavior will make it very tempting for your ex to block you and hurt you in the process.

That’s why you should continue giving your ex space and minding your own business until your ex asks to get back with you. You can’t risk making your ex feel uncomfortable and bringing a bad reaction out of your ex that sets you back emotionally.

In this article, we discuss why your ex unfriended you but didn’t block you. We also talk about what you should and shouldn’t do as a dumpee.

Why did my ex unfriend me but not block me?

Your ex unfriended you but not blocked you because your ex wanted to keep you at just the right kind of distance. Your ex wanted to control the breakup and thought that friendship right after the breakup would be difficult.

If you remained friends, your ex would keep getting reminded of you and being forced to feel uncomfortable.

Unfriending you solving this problem for your ex as it pushed you out of sight, gave your ex space to breathe, and enabled your ex to feel the kind of emotions your ex wanted to feel.

There was simply no need to go a step further and block you too. That would have been excessive and completely unnecessary.

Dumpers who unfriend and block afterward do that because they feel threatened, angry, or manipulated.

They feel that their ex is making them feel pressured and that they have no choice but to block their ex and avoid feeling unwanted emotions. In their minds, they think they have the right to prioritize themselves and let their ex deal with post-breakup blues on his or her own.

So if your ex unfriended you but hasn’t blocked you yet, don’t view this as an opportunity to get back in touch with your ex. Your ex isn’t waiting for you to reach out so you can start talking again. Your ex is leaving you unblocked for moral reasons and in case there’s some kind of emergency on either side.

In case of an emergency or some unfinished business left to discuss, you and your ex could get back in touch and talk strictly about those things. That kind of communication is usually the only communication dumpers are open to after the breakup.

They want to make sure their ex can reach out to them if he or she needs to.

Most dumpers simply don’t block their ex after the breakup just because they can. Most of them either stay friends on social media, unfriend their ex right away, or wait a few weeks or months before they unfriend.

They often wait before unfriending because they don’t want to make any hasty decisions. Unfriending their ex early on could make their ex anxious and cause their ex to react in anger and disbelief.

And that could pressure them further and obstruct their post-breakup happiness, freedom, and goals.

Dumpers leave relationships because they want to do what they want and stay in control of their thoughts and emotions. They don’t want their ex to tell them what they should and shouldn’t do. That makes them feel suffocated.

So bear in mind that your ex doesn’t want to block you unless you give your ex a reason to block you. A reason to block you could be anything that interrupts your ex’s peace and post-breakup expectations and makes your ex think that he or she needs to take care of you and worry about your feelings.

If your ex feels that you have high expectations of him or her and that those expectations don’t align with your ex’s, there’s a decent chance your ex will do something about it.

Your ex will probably ignore you, block, you, or respond in ways you aren’t ready to see your ex respond in. I can’t predict your ex’s response, but it probably won’t be nice as your ex will make you feel hopeless and rejected again.

As a dumpee, you need to understand that every dumper has his or her reasons for leaving a relationship. Every dumper thanks that the relationship isn’t worth investing in and prolonging any longer.

If you understand this, you should also understand that dumpers feel smothered and that unless you bother them, they probably won’t get angry and block you.

Sure, some immature and attention-seeking dumpers feel ignored when their dumpee does no contact. But such dumpers perceive breakups wrongly, take them personally, and try to punish their ex by blocking their ex.

This is how they hog all the power and make themselves look strong and in control.

Regardless of how old, mature, and receptive your ex is, you need to treat your ex with respect. And you can do that by continuing to give your ex the space he or she has asked for.

Your ex will probably reach out to you when the time is right. You won’t see it coming because you’ll be focusing on more important things.

Here’s why your ex unfriended you but didn’t block you.

Is there anything you can do?

You can do many things to better your life, get over the breakup, and leave the best impression on your ex that you possibly can. But none of these things require you to contact your ex and change your ex’s perception of you.

Your ex may not have blocked you, but that doesn’t mean your ex will tolerate desperation and manipulation tactics. Your ex will probably see that you’re badly trying to get back in touch/get back together, which will make your ex feel pressured and disrespected.

That’s why you should avoid rationalizing with your ex and trying to make your ex see a different side of you. You’ve got to remember that you’ve lost the ability to influence your ex when your ex broke up with you and that there’s no point in even trying.

The dumpee shouldn’t be chasing someone who left and showed zero interest in fixing things. It doesn’t matter how stubborn the dumper is and how badly the dumpee wants to reconnect.

Pushing the dumper never works in the dumpee’s favor. When dumpees try to make their ex do something their ex doesn’t want, they tell their ex they aren’t happy with the way things turned out and by doing so, put immense pressure on their ex.

That’s how they guilt-trip their ex and make their ex want even less to do with them.

So make sure not to act on your desire to do something. You may really want to talk to your ex and reconnect with him or her, but if your ex hasn’t reached out yet, your ex isn’t ready to talk. Your ex is still processing the breakup and appreciating the space your absence is giving.

Don’t take that personally, though. Most dumpers are incapable of talking to their ex right after the breakup. Due to their poor coping mechanisms and perceptions of their ex, they feel suffocated and annoyed.

The best way they can deal with their suffocation and other emotions of power is to avoid their ex and direct their attention to other people and things. By doing so, they can keep unwanted thoughts and emotions away from them and enjoy their new life.

I hope you’ve learned why your ex unfriended you but not blocked you. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. We’ll reply to you soon.

And if you want a faster, more detailed response, sign up for breakup coaching here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.