When You Love Someone, You Let Them Go

When you love someone and that someone doesn’t love you back, you have no choice but to let them go. Letting go allows you to process romantic feelings and false hope and helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel. It encourages you to free yourself emotionally and get your happy self back.

As long as you emotionally hold on to a former partner, you won’t be happy because you’ll continue to look over your shoulder and try to reconcile with your ex. By trying to get back with your ex, you’ll keep your wounds open and make healing extremely difficult for yourself. Not only will you give your ex power and control over your thoughts and feelings, but you’ll also feel unhappy and incomplete because of it.

That’s why you shouldn’t try to hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be with you. It’s not good for your mental health, nor your ex’s conscience and respect. Your ex has to see that you’re strong and capable of accepting the breakup and moving on. That’s the only way your ex will respect you and perhaps even want to be with you when things cool off and get difficult.

As a dumpee, you must present yourself as a confident, independent individual who puts him/herself first. Confidence attracts like-minded individuals, whereas codependence and denial repulse them.

So keep in mind that when you love someone, you let them go if you want the best for them. You set them free to project strength and assuage their guilt. By giving them the space they asked for, you show them you respect their decisions, feelings, wants, needs, and differences—and that you won’t beg them to love you and change their mind.

If they don’t love you, it’s because they don’t perceive you as a romantic partner. Their thoughts and feelings changed over time. This may be due to a busy lifestyle, lack of communication and bonding, unhealthy expectations, destructive thoughts, immaturity, poor relationship skills, incompatibility, arguments and unresolved problems, or resentment.

You can’t change people’s mentality and feelings by force. You can’t do it because they’ve made up their mind and consider reasoning disrespectful and annoying. They don’t want to hear excuses or begging because it gives them too much power and makes their ex look weak, dependent, and unappealing.

Dumpers prefer to feel understood and move forward with the confidence that their ex can handle the breakup and eventually find someone else.

If you smother them with attention and love and prevent them from enjoying their life, they could not only despise you but also do things to hurt you. Even though you’re already hurting, they could get angry and cold, call you names, mock you, tell you they’re seeing someone else, ignore you, block you, or tell your family and friends about your desperation.

Talking to the dumper to get back together is a big mistake. The dumper has carefully thought things through and needs space to process the breakup. You shouldn’t try to befriend your ex and desperately hold on to him or her. Desperation won’t make your ex pity you and want to take care of you. It will most likely make your ex feel trapped and cause your ex to feel even more unhappy and victimized.

Don’t forget that dumpers leave relationships because they want to be on their own. They don’t want to keep conversing and bonding with their ex as if they’re still a couple. Their relationship obligations have ended, so they prefer to prioritize their happiness. This includes friends, hobbies, interests, and activities that allow them to think about the present and future and help them forget the past.

If your ex doesn’t love you, your ex has different plans. These plans may not be anything significant, but they don’t involve you. You must respect that and give your ex space and time to achieve his or her post-breakup goals. When your ex has achieved or failed his or her goals, your ex will probably reach out and try to get forgiveness, information, entertainment, love, or support from you.

What your ex wants depends on his or her experience and the lessons he or she learns in your absence.

Until your ex has discovered your worth, you mustn’t be anywhere near your ex. You must keep your distance and let your ex live life on his or her terms. Your ex must see that you’ve given up on the relationship and let him or her go. Seeing you do that could improve your ex’s perception of you and make your ex doubt leaving and being capable of living a fulfilling life without you.

So keep in mind that when you love someone, you must let them go if you want the best for them and yourself. You must do so regardless of how difficult it is to cut them off and rely on yourself. When a person tells you or shows you that he or she doesn’t feel the same way about you, your only option is to pull away and recover emotionally.

You shouldn’t degrade yourself and try to make your ex feel something for you again. If your ex doesn’t feel the need to love you and invest in you, it’s too late to fix things because your ex has detached and lost interest. He or she sees more positives in staying broken up than in getting back together. As long as your ex wants to be broken up, your ex must get the space he or she needs and expects.

You mustn’t cling to your ex and refuse to let go. The harder you try to hold on to your ex, the more your ex will want to break free.

Your job throughout your life is to frequently evaluate your happiness and let go of everyone and everything that no longer serves you. This includes beliefs, belongings, work, friends, and even exes. When people or things don’t return your (emotional) investment, you must let go of them and make space for better opportunities.

The topic of this article is “When you love someone, you let them go.” We’ll discuss why letting go is the best for both parties involved and how you can let go of an ex most quickly.

When you love someone, you let them go

Letting go is the highest form of respect and love. It indicates that despite your feelings and expectations, you respect your ex’s decision to be free and independent. You’re prepared to walk away from the relationship and allow your ex to not feel responsible for your health and well-being.

When your ex sees that you know what’s best for you and love yourself more than him or her, your ex will respect you. He or she may not redevelop feelings, but your ex will be glad that you understand your priorities and feel capable of looking after yourself.

Your ex will like you much more than if you show you’re in denial, incapable of moving on.

So whatever you do, don’t make the breakup difficult for yourself and your ex. Don’t beg and plead with your ex and think that you may be able to convince your ex to be with you. If you turn into a beggar, your ex will confirm that you need him much more than he needs you and that it was the right decision to leave you.

The best thing to do when your ex doesn’t love you anymore (even if he says he does) is to leave him alone. Show him you understand that he lost feelings and the will to fight for the relationship. He’ll like you more when you exude self-confidence and desire to move on with your life.

It’s not easy to let go of someone you love. Every fiber in your body tells you to reconnect with your ex and avoid letting him or her move on and meet someone else. Despite that, you shouldn’t listen to your emotions. Listen to your ex’s actions and inactions instead. They illustrate that your ex isn’t interested in being a couple any longer and that you must let go and find happiness within.

Breakups are hard. They’re some of the most difficult predicaments people encounter. But if you want another chance with your ex or simply move on and discover your worth, you must be strong and let go of the person who doesn’t love you. Your ex may tell you that he or she does, but your ex wouldn’t be leaving you if that were the case.

Your ex would be staying committed to you and keeping the relationship going.

Since your ex isn’t doing that, you shouldn’t be doing it either. You should be mimicking your ex and trying to reconnect with your old self. When you get your happy self back, you’ll feel complete and see that holding on to a person who doesn’t want you is a waste of time and effort.

It’s better to focus on people who can meet your expectations and reciprocate your feelings.

Always remember that you come first and that you can’t make others happy if you aren’t happy yourself. If you try to connect with someone while you’re starving for love, you’ll project unrealistic expectations onto the other person and risk losing him or her.

You must be complete on your own before you can add value to a relationship. I’m not saying you must be perfect but that you must be internally happy. Happiness with who you are vibrates at a much higher frequency than unhappiness and emotional dependence.

So don’t spend time waiting for an ex to have an epiphany and acknowledge your worth. Instead of giving your ex your remaining power, work on growing your self-love and independence. When your work is finished, you’ll gladly let go of your ex because you’ll fully detach and stop needing your ex for basic human things such as self-love.

Your ex won’t have any value to add to your life because you’ll have added enough value yourself.

My advice is to let go of people you love if they don’t love you back. It won’t happen overnight, but as long as you understand what you must do and work toward it, a day will come when you stop missing your ex and wanting him or her to validate you. It might take months for you to heal, but that’s okay.

It will get easier the longer you stay away from your ex and work on your self-esteem, purpose, and happiness.

Having said that, here’s why you should let go of someone you love when that person doesn’t love you back.

How to let go of someone you love?

Fortunately, there are many ways to let go of a person you love. Not every technique may resonate with you, but a few should. You have to be open-minded and give them a try. They’ll help you immensely as long as you rationally understand the importance of letting go of someone you love.

First things first, the most important (non-negotiable) technique is the no contact rule. You must cut your ex out of your life if you want to stop obsessing about your ex and overanalyzing his or her response. No contact will keep your ex out of your head and slowly but surely rebuild your strength, dignity, and pride.

You won’t forget about your ex overnight, but you will grow distant and see that your ex is not as great as you made him or her out to be.

Once you’ve started no contact, it’s time to get busy. Don’t date anyone, but do get to know some new people. Socializing won’t only distract you but also give you a sense of belonging, helping you feel socially accepted and more confident in your conversational skills. Besides making new friends, you should hang out with your current ones.

Open up to them about your problems and feelings and lean on them for support. Friends will help you feel understood and cared for and make your letting go process much easier.

If you can’t open up to friends, consider hiring a therapist or breakup coach. A professional will help you understand why the breakup happened (help you get closure) and encourage you to grow and detach. Therapy is probably the quickest way to get a former partner out of your system. The only downside to it is that you may need multiple sessions.

One session may give you closure, but it likely won’t heal your broken heart. You’ll need to change how you think about yourself and your ex to disconnect from your ex.

You can accelerate this process by beginning to journal. Journaling your thoughts and feelings is probably the best thing next to therapy. Most dumpees feel much better when they write their problems down. Journaling also allows them to go over their mistakes and grow in ways they need to.

Speaking of growth, it’s also important to work on yourself.

Breakups happen because something went wrong. Whether it was our fault or only partially our fault, we have to identify our flaws and work on improving ourselves. That way, we can outgrow ourselves and stop blaming ourselves for past mistakes. When we stop putting ourselves down, our healing starts to accelerate. We start to notice ways in which our lives have gotten better.

Make sure to also take up new hobbies and get plenty of exercise. You want to keep as busy as possible to minimize thinking about your ex and reliving the breakup. If you don’t know what to do, this is the time to figure it out. Self-reflection will help you now that you’re hurting and later when you’ve recovered emotionally.

It’s just as important to get plenty of exercise. If you can get your heart pumping a few times a week, that’s great. But if you can do it every day, that’s even better. Moderate-intensity physical activity will promote the release of happy hormones and increase your self-confidence.

Some dumpees also meditate and pray. Give it a try; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

All in all, letting go of someone you love is necessary when that person doesn’t love you back. It takes time to fully let go, but you’ll be okay as long as you stay away from your ex and do things that help create a fresh start for you. If you have family members who worry about you, keep their worries in mind, and you’ll make decisions and do things that help you leave the past where it belongs – in the past.

You may not realize it, but you’re already letting go of the person you love. Every day you spend on your own, you’re learning to rely on yourself and growing stronger. It’s only a matter of time before you detach completely and get your happy self back.

What do you think you should do when you love someone? Do you think you should let them go? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and we’ll get back to you shortly.

However, if you found this article informative and need help letting go of your ex, consider signing up for our coaching services. At Magnet of Success, we help dumpees get back on their feet and grow within.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.