When He Pulls Away, Do Nothing

When a guy pulls away, it’s of utmost importance to do nothing. Doing nothing matches his level of interest (which is non-existent) and takes the expectation that he has to please you away from him. Walking away isn’t easy when you’re infatuated with the guy and hurt by his actions, but you need to do it whether he ghosted you, told you he’s busy, ignored you, or broke up with you.

It’s the only remedy that will allow you to keep your self-respect and demand respect in return.

When he pulls away, you won’t immediately understand why he did that. You probably won’t know what transpired in his life that changed his views of you and made him push you away. This is normal because you’ll be in shock.

But give it some time and you’ll understand that everything he does, he does for a reason and that disrespecting that reason no matter how insignificant it appears to you is going to make things worse.

It’s going to force him to talk about it and do something about it. This will, in turn, smother him, annoy him, and ruin the chances of him wanting to keep talking to you.

You have to understand that everything this person does or doesn’t do sends you a message. It tells you how he thinks and most importantly, how he feels about you. All you have to do to understand the universal language his actions are speaking in is put your emotions aside and look at his attitude and communication.

If they’re good, healthy, and consistent, you’ll notice that the guy is in control of his life and cares about you. He has plans for you and wants to grow with you. But if they’re not good, then the guy’s probably dealing with stressors, anxiety, depression, grief, and/or unhealthy perceptions of you and needs space.

You must give him the space he’s asking for so he can deal with his issues on his own and not find any (additional) reasons to be frustrated with you.

So if a guy you like pulled away, do nothing in terms of chasing, begging and pleading, questioning, accusing, or even talking to him. He’s chosen not to engage in conversation, so you mustn’t converse with him either. You must be prepared to pull away as fast as you can because that’s what the guy secretly wants and expects.

He needs you to follow suit so he can focus on things and people he deems as more important. And you need to do it for as long as his priorities lie elsewhere.

I know it sucks that you must pull away from someone you’d developed feelings for, but you don’t really have a choice. When he pulls away, you need to respect his decisions and feelings or there will be consequences.

Consequences that will pressure him, reveal his dark side, and hurt you as a result.

Today’s post is for people who are wondering what to do when a guy pulls away all of a sudden. The information written applies to men and women because both genders function very similarly.

Why did he pull away?

The reason why guys pull away almost always has something to do with their perception of the person they pulled away from. They think that the effort they have to put in the person they’re seeing is taking a toll on their emotional health and well-being and that they need to pull away in order to protect themselves from emotional exhaustion.

Most of the time, they directly blame their partner for the way they feel. But sometimes they also pull away because of mental health issues, stress, anxiety, and various hardships. Although such difficulties are genuine concerns, they don’t justify the leaver’s actions.

The guy’s reason for pulling away doesn’t change the fact that he found you overwhelming and associated certain negative emotions with you. Even if he left you because of depression, he still pushed you away to focus on his needs and let you deal with yours.

This means that you mustn’t neglect yourself and try to win the guy’s heart with persuasion. You can’t do that because if you try, the guy will feel trapped and have even fewer reasons to respect you and feel attracted to you. He’ll probably think that you’re clingy and desperate, which will further solidify his decision for leaving.

So no matter how bad life got for him, try to understand that he’s decided to deal with his issues alone and that he needs time to do that. You may feel compelled to help a guy deal with his issues by becoming his confidant in his time of need, but right now, he doesn’t want your help.

If he wanted it, he would have asked for it by showing interest in you and wouldn’t just push you away the moment issues arise. Life is full of unexpected, often unpredictable and painful calamities. Those who aren’t strong enough to handle them tend to push the people closest to them away from them.

That’s how they protect themselves and abstain from the request or requirement to spend their limited time and energy on fulfilling others’ expectations. In their minds, they just want to take care of themselves and recover mentally and emotionally.

In the picture below, you will find various possible reasons why the person you like pulled away.

The guy in question essentially pulled away because he couldn’t or didn’t want to give you the attention you deserved. He knew that he needed to invest a certain amount of energy, money, and emotion in you, but he felt too uncomfortable by it. The thought that he wasn’t able to make you and himself happy at the same time was too emotionally draining for him.

So if he’s dealing with something challenging like stress at work, by all means, allow yourself to feel sympathy. But don’t be naive and think that he needs your support. He may need support, but it’s not from you. It’s from mental health experts who have no expectations of him.

Why is it important to do nothing when he pulls away?

When a guy pulls away, it’s important to do nothing because doing something goes against his wants and needs. It doesn’t make him see that he’s making a big mistake, but that you’re crazy and obsessed and not the right person for him.

Keep in mind that guys don’t want to be with crazy-obsessed people who need them to be happy. They want someone who can adapt to any situation and pull away when they feel burdened with their own issues. This is true for all types of romantic relationships and sexual orientations.

When a guy pulls away, the other person must do the same. The quicker she does that, the less damage she causes to the guy and the relationship she has with him. That’s why oftentimes, people who detect disinterest of any sort in their partner tend to suffocate their partner the least.

They know that their presence (not necessarily behavior) is taking a toll on the person they like and that they must do something about it.

Guys who temporarily or permanently lose interest just aren’t happy with the way their fancier makes them feel. Every second they spend communicating, they force themselves to control their emotions.

They feel that they’re exercising immense self-control and that they’re stuck in a situation they don’t want to be in.

That’s why eventually (if no solution is found), they reach a tipping point and pull away for good. They leave the other person devastated and feel more determined than ever that leaving their partner, crush, or secret admirer was the right thing to do.

So don’t waste your time clinging to hope and running after a person who doesn’t want to be with you. If a guy pulls away (especially without expressing his reasons for doing so), he’s not a very good communicator. He probably feels guilty and pressured and doesn’t know how to deliver the news that he’s lost interest in an honest, respectful way.

All he knows is that he must pull away so he can once again focus only on himself and the things that make him feel free and in control.

Look, everyone is entitled to privacy and freedom as these are fundamental human rights. But when couples are seeing each other, in a committed relationship, or got married, they need to communicate their emotional needs.

They need to express how they feel and don’t feel because it’s fair to both of them. The person waiting needs to know what’s going on so he or she can take the appropriate measures to protect dignity and self-esteem.

Doing nothing or rather, mimicking a guy’s moves when he pulls away is not just good for the guy. It’s also good for you because you have feelings and expectations of him. You’re hoping that he’ll realize your worth and come back to continue being with you and making you feel loved and wanted.

So be brave and pull away right now. Do it for the sake of your internal peace and independence.

How to turn the tables when he pulls away?

Nobody can guarantee that you’ll be able to get the guy back after he’s pulled away. But despite the lack of guarantee, that doesn’t mean you should resort to desperate measures such as messaging the guy’s friends and family and asking them to talk the guy into giving you another chance.

If you want to try to turn the tables on a guy when he pulls away, you have to at least try to do that. You have to cease all contact with him and focus on yourself. At the moment, your interest in him likely overwhelms him, so you must change these patterns and show that you’re not as into him as he’d thought and that you are capable of taking care of yourself.

That’s how you can take the pressure off him and make him see that your life doesn’t revolve around him.

When you show that you’re independent and happy without him, he’ll see that he’s not the most important person on Earth and that you care about your health and well-being way more than him.

To change his mind about you after that, he’ll need to finish dealing with whatever crisis he’s dealing with and/or encounter some kind of predicament that makes him regret losing you.

A predicament that could trigger regret in him would need to be so powerful that he opens his eyes and discerns that he abandoned someone valuable and worthy of commitment. And that could take a lot of time; time that you don’t have.

So if you’re wondering how to turn the tables when he pulls away, keep in mind that the guy needs to learn some things from you and some from life.

One of the most important things he needs to learn from you is that you respect him and especially yourself and that you won’t chase after him and appear needy. And the things he needs to learn from the world is that what he had before was good but that he took it for granted.

He wasn’t able to see your worth because he wasn’t emotionally ready or developed enough to see it. He needed more time to explore the world and get some experience from life itself.

Whether the guy is your ex-boyfriend or someone you like, pull away as fast as possible. Do it to show him you’re strong and that if he doesn’t want to be with you, you’re more than happy to detach and find someone who will.

I’m not saying you should play jealousy games by pretending to be interested in other people, but do exude strength and faith in your abilities. If the guy decides to give you another chance, he’ll get in touch with you even if you’re already dating someone else.

Always remember that when a guy wants to be with you, he’ll cross deserts and swim oceans to get what he wants.

Do you agree that when a guy pulls away you must do nothing? What strategy do you think works best? Post your thoughts below the post.

And as always, if you want to talk to us about men pulling away, sign up for our coaching.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.