When An Ex Tells You “Maybe In The Future”

When a guy or a woman tells you “maybe in the future,” it indicates that his or her feelings for you have changed and that the future is uncertain. But just because the future is uncertain, it doesn’t mean that your ex has left the doors open for a possible future reconciliation.

Far from it.

All it means is that your ex felt guilty and didn’t know what to say, so he said the most generic thing he could think of. He said that he’ll wait and see if something changes the way he thinks and feels about you.

Now, you probably already know that people’s feelings don’t change for the better (or for worse) on their own without a reason. There’s always something or someone that influences or forces a change—and your ex knows that. He just isn’t willing to make the necessary changes to redevelop feelings for you because he’s tired of feeling the way he does.

If you don’t want to get strung along by your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, you must know what it means when an ex tells you maybe in the future. You must know that your ex feels uncomfortable because of the breakup and that he or she doesn’t want to hurt you, nor get hurt in return.

Your ex just wants to start moving on and enjoy the space the breakup provides.

Many dumpees think that the breakup excuse “maybe in the future” is a good sign in regard to reconciliation because it doesn’t depict any anger or contempt. They think that that it shows the dumper will reconsider getting back with them when the time is right – once he or she has had a few weeks to think.

But the truth though is that time alone doesn’t change much inside a person’s mind. It just lets person a enjoy his or her space and independence and makes reconciliation less tempting.

When an ex tells you “maybe in the future, all he or she means to say is “not now.” And not now means that the love is gone and that it’s unlikely to return in the near future.

Don’t get me wrong, the love could return, but it would likely need something shocking to knock some sense back into your ex. Something that hurts your ex and makes him or her see your worth the hard way.

In today’s post, we’ll talk about what it means when an ex tells you that you might get back together in the future.

What does it mean when someone says maybe in the future?

I hate to say this, but when someone says “maybe we’ll try again in the future,” he or she has no intention of reuniting in the future. He or she is incapable of feeling and giving love in the present moment and, therefore, doesn’t feel excited at the prospect of reuniting with someone he or she can barely wait to break free from.

All he or she can do is to focus on the present more and continue to feel relieved. And that’s because relief gives the dumper the freedom to make autonomous decisions and enables him or her to stay elated.

This is why the breakup excuse “maybe in the future” is merely a sign that your ex is thinking about the present and that your ex wants to stay in the present. He or she likes the way things have turned out and as a result, wants to keep running away from a situation that feels suffocating and overwhelming to him or her.

But why couldn’t your ex just be honest with you? Why did your ex have to lie and give you false hope?

It’s because your ex knew or suspected that you were hurt and feared that you were going to say or do something he or she wouldn’t like.

Something that would cause you to react with anger, sadness, or depression, and make you highly emotional. Your ex just didn’t want to take the risk of telling you the truth because your ex was worried that he or she would hurt you again and feel even guiltier.

So whatever you do, try not to take your ex’s breakup excuse literally. Remind yourself that the excuse doesn’t make it any more likely that your ex will discover your true worth and come back. All it implies is that your ex was afraid of being honest with you and that he or she was more interested in looking out for himself or herself.

Below are a few things to keep in mind when your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend says “maybe in the future.”

This is the most common variant of this particular breakup excuse. But you might also hear something like this:

• We’ll see how we feel about each other in a few months
• I just want some time to think
• No one knows what the future holds
• We might get back together in the future and have kids
• I don’t want a relationship right now but that could change in the future
• I love you but I want to make sure it’s for the right reasons
• I just want to focus on myself for a while
• The timing is wrong

No matter what excuse your ex gives you, you need to know that you’re dealing with a breakup and that no excuse will change that. The only time you can feel hopeful about your ex’s breakup excuse is when your ex specifically tells you to improve yourself or it’s over forever.

That would indicate that your ex is still waiting for you to get serious and mature up.

What kind of person uses breakup excuses?

Dumpers who use breakup excuses are extremely afraid of confrontations. They fear that their ex will respond badly to the truth, so they abandon their morals just to avoid dealing with an uncomfortable situation.

They do that even though they know that lying and deceiving people is unfair and wrong. In their mind, saving their own skin is more important than facing the consequences of their actions.

Such people haven’t learned the importance of being honest, and as a result, tend to be dishonest. They’re especially dishonest when they’re in pain because that’s when they think they must put themselves before others and avoid pain at all costs.

A person who always prioritizes his or her uncomfortable emotions over others’ health and well-being, in my opinion, isn’t a strong, mature, ethical person. He or she is someone who avoids confrontations because doing so harmonizes with his or her code of ethics and self-centered thinking.

The only way someone like that can change is if he or she gets rejected or hurt in other ways and starts to ponder about his or her immoral actions. Thoughts and regrets could then inspire a change and give room for personal growth to occur.

But until something happens to your ex, don’t expect your ex to change. It likely won’t happen until your ex gets hurt and sees what it feels like to be given lies and false hope.

So if you’re wondering what it takes for someone to tell you or promise you that there might be hope for the relationship in the future, know that it takes a very special person.

It takes a person who:

• hates or fears confrontation
• puts himself or herself before you
• lacks in the morals and personal strength department
• prefers quick solutions that help you temporarily but benefit him or her in the long run
• doesn’t care about your mental/emotional health and the time it will take you to let go of hope and detach

How to respond when an ex tells you that you might get back together in the future?”

It’s probably too late for this advice, but it might come in handy in the future. Hopefully, you won’t need it, but if you find yourself in a similar situation, you should handle it tactfully.

First of all, don’t call your ex out on his/her behavior. That will probably annoy or anger your ex because people who give excuses hate confrontations.

Your ex especially hates being told that he or she was sly and manipulative and that it’s all his or her fault. So don’t lose your cool and handle the breakup maturely (better than your ex). Do it not because your ex deserves it but because you do.

Your thoughts, words, and actions shape you into the person you are and want to be, so simply say that the breakup was for the best and that you’re glad your ex told you about it. This will make your ex question his or her spot in your heart and cause your ex to respect you for accepting the breakup on the spot and sounding almost eager about it.

I know it seems a bit manipulative to make it seem like you’re the one who’s dumping your ex, but that’s not what this is about. The purpose of this response is to tell your ex that you’re glad your ex told you how he/she felt and that there’s no point in continuing a relationship when someone’s feelings aren’t being returned.

It’s best to just accept it and move forward confidently. And that’s because confident behavior depicts personal strength, detachment, and high self-esteem. It shows that you’re capable of taking care of yourself and that your ex’s departure doesn’t affect you.

At least not so much that you’ll throw yourself at your ex’s feet and/or get angry at your ex for lying to you.

When you display high levels of self-control and maturity during a stressful situation such as the breakup, your ex might not respect you for it right away. But he or she definitely will when something goes wrong on your ex’s end (preferably when your ex gets dumped) because that’s when your ex will learn a thing or two about you that he or she didn’t know or took for granted.

Your ex will see that you responded admirably to his or her lies, false hope, and pain even though you got dumped and forced to deal with unbelievable pain and anxiety.

So if you can, don’t get emotional about your ex’s self-centered behavior. Don’t tell your ex you know what he or she did and what kind of person your ex is. Instead, just walk away like it doesn’t concern you and start no contact.

Your ex will appreciate it and so will you when your healing kicks in.

What if your ex assures you that you will get back together one day?

Whether your ex says that the relationship is written in the stars or that he or she can feel or imagine getting back together, you need to understand that your ex can’t predict the future. He or she may have second thoughts, but your ex has no idea how reconciliations work.

Your ex doesn’t know that both parties must be open-minded, emotionally receptive to each other, and eager to connect.

They must want the same thing, be at the same point in life, and have common goals and similar frequency. And that’s something your ex just can’t guarantee. People evolve, change, move on, and meet other people with time, so making a promise that you’re meant to be months or years from now is extremely unfair and thoughtless.

It’s probably worse than if your ex bluntly said that it’s over and that you must leave him or her alone forever.

That’s why it’s a waste of time and emotions to take your ex seriously when he or she tells you that you’re getting back together one day. It’s just too harmful to your happiness, health, and your future.

So even though it’s hard, try to keep your expectations low and do your best to focus on creating a future without your ex in it. Eventually, you’ll see that your ex’s promises don’t match his or her actions and that it’s much safer to depend on yourself.

Did your ex tell you that you might get back together in the future? Did it give you a lot of hope and anxiety? Let me know how you feel about it by leaving a comment below the post.

Or conversely, if you’d like to talk about your breakup 1-on-1, check out our coaching options.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.