What Does It Mean When A Guy Says He Doesn’t Know What The Future Holds?

When a guy says he doesn’t know what the future holds, there could be various explanations for his behavior. Its meaning depends on the context in which he uses it.

For example, if he was having a good time with you and said this cliche out of the blue, he probably didn’t mean any harm. He must have meant that life is full of mysteries and that he can’t predict what the future holds. In this particular case, it was an unnecessary statement he said randomly without forethought because he thought it would sound cool. People sometimes repeat widely used sayings and expressions they read online and hear on the tv.

But if you were having relationship problems or you pressured the guy into committing to you, then the guy likely said that line to push you away a bit and keep you at a distance. That would imply that he’s either acting like a kid (wants to punish you for hurting him) or if you pressured him into committing to you, wants you to know he’s not sure about you yet (or anymore).

Oftentimes, a guy who says he doesn’t know what the future holds is fully or semi-detached. He’s lost most of the will to fight and doesn’t know how to break it off with you. That’s why to prepare you for what’s to come, he hints that the future (your relationship) is uncertain and that you shouldn’t put everything you’ve got into it.

If you go all in, you could get hurt and also make the guy’s life more difficult when he sees you’re struggling with the breakup.

So if you’re wondering what does it mean when a guy says he doesn’t know what the future holds, know that it usually doesn’t mean anything good. Most guys use this line because they’re having doubts or commitment issues and want to keep their distance. They may not necessarily stay physically away from you, but they will likely keep their emotional distance.

Doing so will protect them from investing in you and you from investing in them.

If they were recently dumped and hurt by someone they loved, they likely developed trust issues and don’t want to give people a chance to hurt them. They’d rather protect themselves from getting too attached because they consider attachments a weakness that would give their partners the ability to control their feelings.

This post is about guys who say they don’t know what the future holds. Please don’t mistake this line for an “I don’t know what I want.” On the surface, they may look similar, but a guy who says he doesn’t know what he wants is much more certain he doesn’t want to be with you.

What does it mean when a guy says he doesn’t know what the future holds?

If you had a serious conversation with the guy you were seeing and the guy said he doesn’t know what the future holds, bear in mind that he likely said this in self-defense. He doesn’t want to expend any more energy and time planning and bonding with you because he isn’t quite on the same page with you.

He isn’t ready to commit to the kind of relationship you want to commit to and wants the relationship dynamics to stay the way they are. For example, if the guy in question is a friend with benefits and you want to take things further with him, his response indicates that he doesn’t want to explore romantic options with you.

He’s perfectly content staying your friend or friend with benefits, so he said that line just to get you off his back. He just couldn’t handle the kind of pressure your expectations had put on him.

If relationships scare him because he’s not over his ex or has attachment or trust issues, the guy, unfortunately, can’t keep up with your pace. He’s not ready to start another relationship and fully invest in it. If you try to make him invest, he’ll most likely rebound with you and leave when he gets tired of feeling pressured or when he starts missing his ex.

You need to slow down a bit and encourage him to work on his issues. If he takes his issues seriously and works on them diligently, he might be able to resolve them before your expectations overwhelm him and force him to run for the mountains.

So pay attention to what comment of yours he said this cliché to. If you wanted to progress further with him and he said he doesn’t know what the future holds, this isn’t a very good sign. It’s a sign he’s not ready or willing to be with you and that he wants to avoid talking about relationship matters you want to talk about.

He’s essentially saying that communication is off the table and that it’s his way or the highway. You either follow his pace and wait for him to open up/decide what he wants or you walk away right now. The choice is always yours, but if you love yourself (not the guy (your life isn’t about him)), you probably shouldn’t give him too much time to decide.

You can’t wait for people who start dating and think that their problems will go away on their own. They usually don’t. Only people who work on themselves resolve their issues and become ready for serious romantic relationships.

So don’t waste your time analyzing a guy’s words when he says things like:

• I don’t know what the future holds.
• We’ll see what the future holds.
• Who knows what the future holds?
• The future is uncertain.
• Let’s wait and see.

With that said, here’s a recap of what it means when a guy says he doesn’t know what the future holds.

Now that you know what it means when a guy says he doesn’t know what the future holds, you have an important decision to make. You have to decide if he has things to work on. If he does, figure out if the guy can quickly fix his issues and his mentality or if he’s incapable of growing and changing.

What to do when he says he doesn’t know what the future holds?

If you don’t know why the guy said this to you, talk to him about it. Ask him if he can elaborate on what he meant when he said he doesn’t know what the future holds. If he says he wondered what will happen in the future and assures you he has no intention of leaving the relationship, you have nothing to worry about.

The guy just didn’t explain things thoroughly and you didn’t ask him to. You had a bit of a miscommunication.

But if he says he doesn’t want a relationship or isn’t ready to invest in the relationship, then you probably don’t want to stay in a relationship with him.

Uncertainty in a relationship is the opposite of security – which is what a person needs to feel accepted, loved, and comfortable. You can’t seek these things from a guy who’s unwilling to give them to you. You should instead break up with him because if you don’t, he will.

It’s only a matter of time because people with doubts seldom resolve doubts. Most of the time, they lack the tools and willpower to reflect and evolve in ways they need to. This is why so many emotionally unavailable guys wait things out until they lose attraction and grow impatient. That’s when they decisively leave their partners and focus on themselves and someone else.

I know you don’t want to leave your partner because you still have hope that your partner will deal with whatever issue he’s dealing with and give you what you need. But if he’s not sure about you now, it’s unlikely that he’ll be sure about you later.

The guy isn’t just dealing with a little bit of stress and confusion. He’s full-on doubting his feelings and future with you and doesn’t want to invest in the relationship until he’s certain he does. This means he’s not going to invest unless his feelings magically return.

And as you know, that’s not how feelings work. The only time we feel close to people and deepen our bonds with them is when we open up to them and talk about the future. Important conversations bring us closer to our partners whereas not having any bonding conversations and ignoring problems creates distance and a loss of common goals.

So keep in mind that a guy who doesn’t know what the future holds likely doesn’t care what the future holds. He’s so focused on the present moment that he’s become comfortable and doesn’t want to get out of his comfort zone.

And this is dangerous because a relationship without purpose and direction is like a ship without a rudder. It drifts in a random direction and becomes vulnerable to all sorts of obstacles. A few dangers that could face and destroy a directionless relationship are stress, temptations, doubts, disagreements, and busy lifestyles.

All in all, if a guy doesn’t know what a future holds, he’s likely going to keep neglecting the relationship and detaching until he destroys the connection, loses interest, and gives up altogether. When that happens, you’re going to suffer more than you would if you understood the guy’s behavior and pulled away before he starved you for validation and broke up with you.

It’s not that you need to remain guarded. But knowing what to expect and what his behavior means could help you tremendously. It could help you understand what behaviors to tolerate and what not to tolerate.

You should be a priority

Whoever you choose to be with, don’t settle for wishy-washy uncommitted people. The guy you’re with should always give you his everything. He should pay attention to your health and well-being and care about your wants and needs.

Sure, there will inevitably be times when he’s busy and stressed and may not be his best self, but the majority of the time, he should make time for you and be there for you.

He should know that you fit into his life and plan a future with you. It shouldn’t be a problem because if he’s with you, he should also be into you. Guys who want you in their lives for the person you are do that. They plan and look forward to the future. On the other hand, those who don’t care about you much don’t look for security and stability with you. They just want relationship benefits such as sex and a commitment-free lifestyle.

This means that if they meet someone they like, they’re likely going to pursue that person and forget about you the moment they receive affection from that person. Don’t let people treat you any way they want. Learn more about relationships instead so you know when to give it your best and when to give up on relationships.

Not all guys are ready for long-term relationships. Some may say that they are but they soon prove that they have more self-work to do and that they should first figure out why they lack the necessary relationship skills and mentality to maintain romantic relationships.

Did you learn what it means when a guy says he doesn’t know what the future holds? Did a guy tell you that before? What did it mean for you? Let us know below the post.

And if you’d like to discuss it with us, sign up for coaching with us on this link.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.