Things Are Awkward After Getting Back Together

It’s not uncommon for couples to feel awkward after getting back together. Sometimes the time they spend away from each other creates so much emotional distance that they forget how to act. They don’t know if they should be caring and affectionate or if they should take things slow and feel each other out first.

Due to self-doubt and apprehension, they tend to appear out of sync, freeze, and wait for the other person to make a move. They basically become so unsure about what to say and do that they choose not to do anything at all.

Awkwardness makes them observe each other rather than encourage them to take action.

The feeling of awkwardness often intensifies when couples act strange, different, or distant and appear not to be excited to be back together. That’s because it hurts them and affects their trust in their worth and capabilities.

Of course, some couples also feel awkward after getting back together because they haven’t fixed the issues that caused the breakup—and aren’t sure they want to be together yet. They still wonder if they’re meant for each other and if they should take the time to figure out what they want before they resume their relationship.

And lastly, people can be a bit awkward when they don’t know how the person they like feels about them. Their expectations and fears create anxiety, which then makes them extremely self-conscious. As a result, they pay so much attention to how they look and what the other person feels that they appear unnatural and awkward.

They just don’t know how to behave because they aren’t sure whether their partner truly likes them and wants to be with them.

So if you got back with your ex and things have been awkward since, know that someone might be holding back. Someone might have developed fears, trust issues, or doubts and doesn’t want to get hurt or abandoned again.

The best thing you can do is not to react to awkwardness with more awkwardness but to brush it off with a joke and/or act as if you feel comfortable. That way, you’ll make it easier for your boyfriend or girlfriend to relax, fill the silences, and not feel awkward around you.

This post is dedicated to couples who feel awkward after getting back together. We’ll discuss why couples who reconcile feel awkward and what you can say and do to make it less awkward.

Why are things awkward after getting back together?

Couples who get back together tend to feel awkward because they don’t know how to act around each other the way they used to. They try to seem “normal,” but because they try so hard, they end up forcing themselves and appear abnormal. They make themselves look fake and strange and raise each other’s guards.

Since couples already know each other, they immediately sense the awkwardness and the distance between them. They know that something’s off and that they need to be careful or they could get hurt. This further increases the distance between them and makes it even harder for them to communicate efficiently.

Some couples also act socially awkward because they dated others during the time they spent apart. They got close to others, so they feel guilty and don’t know how to tell each other and/or get over it. As a result, they appear reserved and stand-offish and express their internal struggles externally.

Fears, low self-esteem and low confidence also sometimes cause awkwardness between reconciled couples. These things make them scared of each other’s reactions, so they take things slow and observe from a far. Doing so gives them the chance to study each other’s behavior before they get close to each other and act like nothing had happened.

Not a lot of couples feel awkward after getting back together because reconciliations usually make the dumpee happy and the dumper relieved to be back. But when awkwardness does happen, most couples get over it very quickly (in a day or two). When they reconnect emotionally, they get used to being with each other again, so the awkwardness goes away.

Only couples who have doubts about being with each other and those who come back for the wrong reasons appear distant. But let’s not mistake that for awkwardness. If a person is distant, cold, and unreceptive, he or she doesn’t want intimacy.

The person doesn’t know why he or she came back (is uncertain) and will likely leave soon.

So make sure to learn the difference between awkwardness and disinterest. The former makes your partner shy but willing to connect whereas the other makes your partner emotionally unreceptive and unwilling to get closer to you.

With that said, here are 7 possibilities why things got awkward after getting back together with your ex.

If you understand what thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are causing awkwardness between you two, you can do something about them. Perhaps your partner will feel more comfortable around you if you take the initiative and show that the awkwardness doesn’t bother you much and that you want the relationship to work out.

It’s not a guarantee, but if you relax and act “normal,” chances are your partner will too. So try not to act on your awkward feelings and try to figure out how to stop them.

How to stop feeling awkward after getting back together?

First of all, to stop feeling awkward, you must stop doing what’s making things awkward. If certain behaviors are bringing an awkward reaction out of your partner, you need to stop them and learn to relax. Someone has to be the first person to make a move—and that person may as well be you.

You just have to care less about the way your partner sees you and cares about you and do things that bring you two closer. Go on dates, communicate, express emotions and encourage each other to open up, talk about the future, and do things that couples do.

That’s how you can strengthen the bond and get over the awkwardness.

If you do the above-mentioned things, it shouldn’t take very long before you get close to each other and feel no different than the last time you were in a relationship. But you have to live in the moment, ignore your fears and gut feelings, and involve your boyfriend or girlfriend in your life as much as possible.

When your partner sees that you’re back to your usual self, he or she will likely lower his or her guard and be willing to be vulnerable around you. So remain patient and don’t accuse your partner of things.

Don’t say things like:

• You’re so awkward!
• Things aren’t going the way I expected.
• Why are you being so weird all of a sudden?
• Do you have something you need to tell me?
• I don’t like the way you’re acting around me.

Things like these express sharp criticism and won’t encourage your partner to open up. On the contrary, they’ll force him or her to shut down and make it even less safe for your partner to relax and be honest with you.

So instead of condemning your partner, brush the awkwardness off nicely by saying:

• I’m getting hungry. Do you want something to eat?
• So what are your plans for today?
• Let me show you something funny.
• Did you know there’s a toilet museum?

Saying something funny, strange, or embarrassing could do the trick.

You can also do something unpredictable that diverts attention away from the awkwardness. Something like singing, clapping, snapping fingers, or telling a joke. Anything you do is better than awkward silences and pointing the awkwardness out.

So if you want to stop feeling awkward after getting back together, try not to mind the awkwardness too much. It happens sometimes when dumpees and dumpers get back together and don’t know what to say and do. They haven’t seen each other in a while, so they just need to get closer emotionally and get some things off their chests.

Awkwardness can be dealt with quickly. Couples just need to talk and share their feelings and have faith that things will get back to normal soon. They mustn’t think that something’s wrong because that could create doubts and kill romantic feelings.

What if things stay awkward?

If you’ve done everything you could and things are still awkward, then someone (most likely your partner) is likely having difficulty trusting you. This is especially true if you dumped your partner and caused him or her a lot of anxiety.

Your partner might still be afraid of getting dumped again, which would indicate that he or she is keeping some emotional distance. That’s not good because if your partner doesn’t learn to trust you again and embrace the unknown, your partner could abandon the relationship.

He or she could also meet someone else and monkey-branch.

A couple who is struggling to connect emotionally is much more prone to breaking up than a couple who remains strong and fearless. However, if your partner dumped you and things are awkward, then your partner could have doubts about you and may not be happy with you.

Whatever the case may be, your partner needs to see that it’s okay to give the relationship another chance and love you like you never broke up.

Perhaps your partner just needs a bit more time to see that you’ve improved your flaws and changed your behaviors.

But if that doesn’t help and your partner remains guarded, then you may want to consider couples counseling. Your partner, you, or both may feel more comfortable if you talk to an expert who may encourage you to open up. You’d be surprised how helpful an expert can be when you’re having difficulties communicating.

Relationships matters can be solved as long as couples have the will to solve them. Once the will is gone and couples take each other for granted, it’s impossible to change anything. All they can do is wait for the relationship to deteriorate to the point where breaking up is the only thing left to do.

If you feel that your relationship can’t be salvaged anymore, then you should probably break up. Staying together when the will to fight is gone is pointless. It’s much healthier to mutually and amicably break up so that you can learn from the failed relationship and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Are things awkward after getting back with your ex? What’s awkward about it? Share your experience with us below.

And if you’re looking for help with your relationship, feel free to check out our coaching services here.