Should I Leave My Girlfriend For Another Girl?

I’m a relationship coach and whenever people ask me, “Should I leave my girlfriend for another girl,” I always tell them “no.” I tell them that if they’re not happy in a relationship that they should discuss their lack of happiness with their partner.

If their partner doesn’t want to talk about the relationship because he or she is not ready to change and grow, only then should they contemplate leaving. Leaving as in breaking up and being single. Not leaving to be with someone else.

If you’re thinking of leaving your girlfriend for a girl you don’t yet intimately understand, know that you’re making an emotional decision. You’re gravitating toward the new person because you see only her good traits. You haven’t yet had an opportunity to meet her bad side.

The side that determines the success of a romantic relationship.

So if you’re in love with another girl and you’re in a dilemma about who to be with, keep in mind that if you leave your girlfriend for another girl that you won’t feel very good about it. You’ll most likely feel guilty for emotionally cheating on your girlfriend and wish that you hadn’t treated her so poorly.

I can’t predict how you’ll feel, but if you care about yourself and other people, your guilty conscience will become your greatest enemy as it will brand you as a person who left his girlfriend for someone else.

In this post, we’ll answer the question, “Should I leave my girlfriend for another girl” and talk about alternative options.

Should I leave my girlfriend for another girl?

Since you’re confident that the new girl wants to be with you, it’s obvious that you’ve talked to the girl a lot and bonded with her behind your girlfriend’s back. Before you act on that bond which is essentially an over-inflated bubble of mutual attraction, admit to yourself that you’ve done something horrible.

You’ve put your girlfriend on the back-burner and laser-focused on a person who makes you in love again. Naturally, the person who makes you feel stronger emotions is always going to be the new girl because it’s the newness, the curiosity, and the thrill of getting to know someone that creates magnetic attraction.

It’s how relationships start.

As for why you didn’t realize that you’re getting attracted to her and did nothing about it, the quickest explanation is that you didn’t want to do anything about it. You enjoyed receiving the girl’s attention, so you refused to distance yourself from her.

You kept talking to her (maybe even flirted) and eventually got so close to her that you took your partner’s loyalty and the stability of your relationship for granted.

That’s when you began to fantasize about being in a relationship with her and started to compare the two people to each other.

In times like these, you may want to think long and hard about your behavior and figure out if you would have lost appreciation for your girlfriend had the new girl not come along.

If you would have stayed 100% committed to your girlfriend and not get confused about who to be with, the problem is not with your girlfriend. It’s with you. By talking to the new girl and getting attracted to her, you essentially lowered your girlfriend’s worth in your eyes and stopped feeling excited to be with her.

But if your relationship with your girlfriend’s been in crisis for a while and you haven’t felt good about it, it’s possible that you’re leaning toward another girl because you long to be loved.

You wish that someone external would make you feel important and make you feel happy, secure, and respected.

To reiterate what I just said, here are 4 reasons why you’re thinking of leaving your girlfriend for another girl.

Whether your relationship with your girlfriend’s been great, mediocre, or unfulfilling, you have to understand that leaving your girlfriend for another girl shouldn’t have anything to do with how good your girlfriend’s been to you.

Your girlfriend (kind, decent, or downright rude) is still a person. She has feelings and deserves not to get disrespected and left for another girl.

If she finds out that you’ve left her for another girl (and she will), she’ll get hurt really, really badly. She’ll experience high anxiety, a loss of self-esteem, and suffer for months.

I’m not saying you should try to mend your relationship with your girlfriend because I have no idea what your relationship is like. But despite not knowing anything about it, I’d like to deter you from leaving her for someone else.

It’s bad enough that you disrespected her by emotionally cheating on her. You don’t need to cause more harm and get yourself in even more trouble.

Think about your committed girlfriend’s emotional well-being. Think about what it would do to her and how it would affect her ability to trust people in the future.

If you’re reading this and you’re wondering if you should leave her for someone else, it’s not too late to treat your girlfriend with dignity. She may not be the most perfect person in the world (but then again who is?), but she still needs you to let her down gently.

Either that or sit down and find a solution to your problem that doesn’t involve causing pain.

Fix your mistakes before you decide if you should leave your girlfriend

If you’re deciding between two people, you’re already doing much better than the guys who impulsively leave their girlfriends to be with someone else. You’re thinking before you act.

And that’s good.

But you’re still in a limbo between two people who probably have no idea what’s in store for them.

Some say that if you love two people at the same time that you should choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for someone else.

Although it’s true that you wouldn’t have fallen for another person if you appreciated your girlfriend, I don’t think you should immediately monkey-branch to the second person just because you took your girlfriend for granted.

You wouldn’t learn anything from that and would probably just repeat your behavior in the future. I think the message below makes a lot more sense.

Because you don’t deserve either one, you should immediately take the following actions.

1. Stop cheating.
2. Come clean about the cheating and apologize.
3. Learn from your mistakes and improve your thinking/behavioral patterns and relationship knowledge.

These are the things you need to do regardless of whether you want to be with your girlfriend or not. They are the right thing to do—and should be done right away. The sooner you do them, the quicker you can move on from the mess you’ve dragged three people in.

When you’ve told your partner about the new girl, your girlfriend may or may not leave you. This mainly depends on her self-esteem and personal strength.

If she leaves, you need to let her go and be kind to her if she reaches out to you. But if she stays, you have to be patient and answer her questions as honestly as you can.

Deciding between your girlfriend and someone else

Normally, you’d have a difficult time deciding between your girlfriend who’s been with you for a while and someone who’s new and makes you feel loved and appreciated.

That’s why you should make the job easier on yourself and take the new person out of the equation. You see, being in love with someone when you have a girlfriend can hardly be called love.

People should call it infatuation instead because they lose themselves in it and neglect their common sense. During the infatuation phase, emotions basically take over our thoughts—and affect how good we think our relationships are and how good they can get.

When these infatuated emotions naturally decrease with time, you’ll see that the new person is just a regular person—and that she’s probably not much different from your girlfriend.

To truly get to know the new person, you’d have to get through the infatuation phase with her, date her for a while, and encounter challenging situations. That’s when you’d truly see what you got yourself into.

This means you’re now left with only two options.

1. You either stay committed to your partner and work on improving the relationship.
2. Or you break up with your girlfriend and address your personal issues before you get involved with someone new.

To decide which option is best for you, ask yourself if your girlfriend understands you, loves you, and wants to grow with you.

If the answer is a strong yes, you shouldn’t be thinking about leaving your girlfriend. You should be spending your time and energy on repairing the bond that you’ve neglected by talking to another girl.

But if your girlfriend doesn’t respect you and isn’t willing to work on the relationship no matter what you say and do, then it might be for the best that you break up.

That way, you can both focus on yourselves and eventually match with a person who’s right for you.

How do I fix my relationship after an emotional affair?

If you decide to give your relationship another chance, the first and most important thing you’ll have to do is end the relationship with your emotional affair. You’ll have to push the girl away so that you can show respect to your girlfriend and not get distracted the second time.

When you’ve finished your business with the person who should never have entered your life, your relationship with your girlfriend will then begin to recover from the damage you’ve caused.

It will take time, but it should survive infidelity and become stronger in some ways.

Make sure you’re a lot more transparent with your girlfriend this time around. Tell her where you go, why you go there, and most importantly, who you spoke to and what you discussed.

Your girlfriend needs to know that you’re changing and that she can trust you again. And the only way she can do that is if you tell her every little detail of your life.

But don’t stop there. If you truly want to be with your girlfriend, you should do much better than that.

You should also:

• tell her what you learned and what’s going to change
• make short-term and long-term plans for the relationship
• express your feelings better
• practice gratitude
• and be a lot more self-aware

Your girlfriend will probably have a hard time leaving you alone and trusting you. It’s of utmost importance that you understand where her fears and insecurities come from and that you ease her anxiety when necessary.

You can do this by showing her your phone or social media and assuring her that she’s the only person you talk to.

This is how you can prove to her that you’re sorry for cheating on her and that you’re devoted to fixing your shortcomings.

What if I want to leave my girlfriend for another girl?

If you’re going to leave your girlfriend for another girl despite my advice, make sure you break up with the girl in an apologetic manner. Pick a time and location that suits her best and tell her you’ve fallen in love with someone else.

First, tell her why you stopped investing in the relationship and thank her for everything, and then ask her if there’s anything you can do to help her.

If she cares about herself and finds cheating unacceptable (gets angry), she’ll probably tell you to buzz off right away. She won’t be interested in friendship or any form of communication.

But if she loves you a lot and thinks she needs you to be happy, she may beg and plead with you for another chance or try to be your friend.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to offer her your support and assure her that you’re going to be there for her if and when she needs you. Don’t promise her you’ll always love her or anything like that because you’ll give her false hope.

But do say that she’s a good person and that you’ll be there for her if she needs help with anything.

Are you thinking about leaving your girlfriend for another girl? Have you thought about it in the past? Tell us your story by leaving a comment.

And also, if you’re looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click here to see our coaching plans.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.