She Is Seeing Someone Else. Do I Still Have A Chance?

If a girl you like or love is seeing someone else and you’re wondering if you still have a chance with her, know that there’s always a chance that she’ll dump the guy and steer toward you.

People in relationships sometimes realize they’ve made a poor dating decision and that there are more suitable people for them out there.

Such people don’t just rationally discern they’ve made a mistake. They also feel they’ve made a mistake as their new boyfriend or girlfriend angers, saddens, smothers, repulses, or bores them.

The new incompatible person essentially makes them feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled, so they choose to abandon their relationship and often look for a person closest to them to make themselves feel better.

Not everyone jumps into a new relationship right away, of course. But those who come out of a rebound or an unsuccessful relationship often do as they normally feel an insatiable urge to be loved and respected.

They wish to be in a fulfilling relationship because being in one reassures them that they’re on the right track, progressing in life.

So if you’re hoping to get a chance with a girl or woman who’s seeing someone else, bear in mind that you have a chance, although a small chance. It’s possible that they’ll eventually break up and that the girl will run to you for love and shelter.

I don’t have a crystal ball to predict what will happen, but if you have insight regarding their relationship, you probably know more than I do. You should be able to tell whether they’re happy together and if their relationship will get past the infatuation phase.

In this post, we’ll talk about whether you still have a chance with an ex or a crush when she’s seeing someone else.

Do I still have a chance if she is seeing someone else?

Before I talk about your chances of being with the girl you admire, you have to become aware of something very important.

You have to realize that you’re playing a dangerous game—one that might not end well for you.

Not only are you hoping that this girl breaks up with his boyfriend (which is very selfish), but you’re also hoping that she notices your romantic worth (which is completely out of your control).

You’re basically competing with another guy behind his back and raising the expectations of this girl falling for you when their relationship comes to a halt.

Because you lack power and control over their relationship, you’re hoping that something completely out of your control saves you from your misery.

But hoping for something other than yourself to save you, dear reader is very dangerous.

It’s like you’re playing the lottery. But not just any lottery. You’re playing a lottery that is costing you health and emotions.

Every time you play, it destroys your self-esteem, hurts your dignity, stops your personal growth, and makes you more obsessed with a person who doesn’t deserve your attention right now.

Any friend or family member with your best interests at heart will tell you that what you’re doing is self-destructive and that you should take your mind off that girl for your own safety.

They probably advise you to forget about her, yet, your feelings for this person tell you that she’s worth the risk and that you should fight for her love because you need her in order to be happy.

Little do you know that this girl is exactly the opposite of what you need to be happy. She’s someone who hinders your emotional stability and makes your life many times more painful than it should be.

So acknowledge the negative effect her presence or lack thereof has on you, take a deep breath, and reassess your situation.

I know you’re anxious and afraid of not having this girl in your life, but as difficult as it may be, you need to accept the painful outcome, push the girl out of sight for a while, and look for happiness within.

This will allow you to gradually and steadily process your fears, worries, and insecurities—and give you the strength to be independent.

If you refuse to do that and stay close to the girl instead, you won’t become happy nor independent. You’ll just continue to desire her affection and suffer immensely when you see her new relationship thriving.

So decide if you wish to stay dependent on this girl for happiness or if you want to detach from her and rebuild your self-esteem.

I’ve been through a similar situation, so I know it’s not easy to focus on yourself when you’re in denial and feel dead inside. But know that you don’t have to decide what to do with the girl right now.

All you have to do today is to become aware of what’s going on with your mind and body and learn why you feel so attached to this girl.

Once you understand that your cravings for her have nothing to do with her actual worth and that you want her mainly because she doesn’t want to be with you, you’ll then be able to do what’s best for you.

You’ll be able to get some space from her and commence the necessary self-esteem-rebuilding journey.

What should I do if she is seeing someone else?

First of all, when a girl you like is seeing someone else, there’s nothing you can or should do to sway her mind.

She has a mind of her own, meaning that you can’t and mustn’t get involved with her romantic decisions.

If you try to change her mind about you by force by saying things like, “Give me another chance, I’m better than your boyfriend, I can make you happy,” you’ll achieve the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.

Instead of convincing her that she should be with you, you’ll tell her you don’t respect her choices, feelings, and her new relationship, and that you just want what’s best for you.

This will quickly turn her off and probably cause her to distance herself from you.

If there’s still a chance for you to be with her, reasoning with her definitely won’t help you increase that chance. It will likely decrease it as you’ll exude a lack of respect and self-respect—and convey to her that you’ll be waiting for her to pity you and change her mind.

So what should you do if she’s seeing someone else?

You do nothing. Nothing in terms of begging and pleading and proving your neverending loyalty to her. Your ex or this girl you wish to date doesn’t expect you to stand by her side and fight for her.

She has a boyfriend to do that for her.

So get the notion that you must do something to woo her out of your head. Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t just serenade her and attract her as if she has no feelings for her boyfriend.

As far as you and I know, she does otherwise she wouldn’t be with him. So respect her commitment to her boyfriend or it will backfire on you.

Besides, if the situation was reversed and her current boyfriend wanted to be with your girlfriend, chances are that you wouldn’t like that very much. You’d probably want that guy to take a hike and never show his face again.

So even if it was possible to somehow steal her from this guy, my understanding is that you don’t really want that. You don’t want it because:

1. The destruction of the relationship would weigh on your conscience.
2. You’d live in fear, knowing the same could happen to you. Your girlfriend could leave you for someone else.

With that said, know your boundaries and try not to worry so much about trying to impress this girl.

As long as her relationship with the guy is going well, you’ll be completely invisible to her no matter what you say or do. You’ll get a chance at piquing her interest only when:

1. Their relationship gets old.
2. Their relationship encounters problems and she needs someone to talk to.

So give their relationship space to grow in the meantime and focus on yourself. It’s the mature and respectful thing to do.

Here are 7 things to do and not do if the girl you like is dating someone else.

Why does she still talk to me if she has a boyfriend?

If she has a boyfriend and still talks to you, the girl probably considers you a friend. She thinks of you as someone who’s been in her life for a while and wants to keep talking to you.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to keep you as a backup option in case things go south with her boyfriend. Most people don’t do that as they don’t think that far ahead.

They prefer to focus on the present moment—on one person at a time.

The girl in question probably still talks to you because she enjoys talking to you. She likes your company, appreciates the friendship, and doesn’t want to end her friendship with you just because she’s with another guy.

If she wanted to end it, it would mean that she’s disassociating from you, replacing you, and moving on from the past.

But since she isn’t, consider her reach-outs an invitation to stay in touch and a sign that you’re giving her a sufficient amount of space.

Some girls (especially exes) remove or block their ex-boyfriends after getting involved with another guy. Since this girl didn’t do that, it means one of two things.

1. She either didn’t find a reason to stop talking to you (you haven’t overstepped your boundaries).
2. Or she’s a good person and wants to be on good, friendly terms with you.

Either way, be on your best behavior whether you want to be her friend, boyfriend, or neither.

So do I still have a chance with her?

When a girl you like starts seeing someone else, the chances of her wanting to be with you plummet significantly. They decrease because her actions indicate that she hasn’t been thinking about your qualities but rather about her boyfriend’s.

This conveys to you that it will take some time before she finds an opportunity to reflect on her life and think about her new dating opportunities.

If you consider the fact that she’s in a new relationship, you probably don’t need me to tell you that new relationships take time before they get to the make it or break it stage.

For most new couples, this stage (which comprises of challenges) begins when couples get to know each other intimately and drop their defenses around each other.

Roughly speaking, we’re talking about 4 – 6 months or so into the new relationship because that’s how long it usually takes people to show who they are and how they handle relationship challenges.

So depending on how good your crush and her new boyfriend are at solving relationship difficulties, their relationship could last months, a year, years, or longer.

Again, no one can predict how long they will last because no two people are alike. The length of each relationship really depends on the nature of the relationship.

But if you consider the fact most relationships end after 2 – 3 years, then that’s probably how long your crush has before she becomes single.

That’s when you might get another chance at pursuing her and being with her.

Just keep in mind that it might not be such a good thing if her relationship ends very quickly (let’s say in a month or two). That could mean that she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship or that she doesn’t possess the skills needed to maintain one.

In that case, it may be for the best that you avoid dating her or you could get your heart crushed.

Are you wondering if you have a chance with a girl who’s seeing someone else? Post your thoughts below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.