My Girlfriend Wants A Break But Still Contacts Me

Does your girlfriend want a break, but she still contacts you? If she does, it probably means she wants the best of both worlds.

She wants to break up and she wants to stay in contact with you. It sounds like fun, right?

Your now (ex)girlfriend clearly likes your attention more than she’s willing to admit, but when it comes to commitment, she falls short.

The question is, why would she want a break when she still contacts you and presumably loves you?

In this article, we’ll identify the reasons behind your ex-girlfriend’s need for a break and point out the real reasons.

My girlfriend wants a break

We need to get to the bottom of this deceiving, hope-instilling cliché once and for all. It has prolonged the pain of many dumpees for years, so it’s time we finally reveal its true meaning.

If your girlfriend wants a break, she is, in essence, using euphemism for two strong reasons.

1. The first reason is to ensure she doesn’t hurt you more than she needs to.
2. And the second reason is to make a quick exit out of the relationship.

Subconsciously, your former girlfriend thought that by giving you a little bit of hope to cling on to, she could then safely—without feeling guilty or any harsh feelings on your end, make a swift transition from being in a relationship to being single.

To her, it seemed like an excellent plan to leave you behind in a peaceful manner.

It’s just a break is a deception

This breakup excuse is just a deception—a distortion of senses; a lie to create a false understanding of reality.

In other words, it’s a manipulation technique meant to establish an idea in your mind—the impression that everything will be alright and that your situation is going to get better.

In a book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Emil Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor, describes this hope-driven excitement very well.

To put it in my own words, the author defines clouded visions of hope as grabbing onto unrealistic expectations for support when the current situation seems hopeless.

Moreover, Viktor explains that people react positively even in their darkest moments—as long as they are given false hope.

In your case, this is the “it’s just a break” excuse.

Although your ex-girlfriend probably doesn’t have a degree in neuroscience or psychology, she is subconsciously well aware of the effects of false hope.

On the day of the breakup, your ex felt an overwhelming desire for space, hence why the best non-hurtfull approach seemed to be to propose a break.

In my opinion, when a person lets go of you in small increments by first suggesting a break, followed by silence, the dumper believes it will make you feel better.

Although it sounds like a good idea at first, it doesn’t accomplish great results in the long run as it merely keeps you in the dark until the actual separation occurs.

In so doing, your ex is also given the opportunity to make a run for it. This deceiving trick certainly works for your ex. If only it worked for you as well.

She wants a break Vs wanting a vacation

Relationships may work when your girlfriend takes an occasional unaccompanied vacation, but breakups don’t. They are completely different from breakups.

When your partner goes on vacation without you, he or she often texts and calls. Since you remain on your partner’s mind throughout the day, your partner regularly shows that he or she is thinking about you.

And when your partner returns home, you are once again reunited and stronger because, as you know—absence makes the heart grow fonder.

When your girlfriend wants a break, on the other hand, she doesn’t think of you and doesn’t contact you.

She’s happy to be single or with someone else and, therefore, minds her own business. What you do and who you’re with is no longer her concern due to a strong need for freedom.

Unfortunately, the only thing absence provides for her at this stage is happiness.

My girlfriend wants a break, but still contacts me

If your girlfriend wants a break, but still contacts you, she knows that by giving you a little bit of attention, she can create an illusion of perception.

In other words, she becomes aware of her karmic actions and strings you along for her own benefits.

Even though your girlfriend wants a break, or rather wants to break up, she insists on having you in her life.

She shows you her unyielding dedication by contacting you regularly in a positive way and refuses to let go of you.

Why do ex-girlfriends contact you in a happy way?

There are quite a few explanations of why an ex would contact you when she proposed a break from the relationship. The most plausible ones are so you can:

• stay friends
• think you’re still together
• have no harsh feelings
• be her safety net
• be her support

Oftentimes exes pretend to be happy when they reach out to their dumpees. This means that if text messages contain something positive they may actually portray a completely different meaning.

Although this occurrence likely has a different name in psychological terms, I will call it indirect mood alleviation.

Basically, when someone (your ex-girlfriend for example) is feeling down, she more often than not won’t show you this directly.

Instead, she will contact you in a happy, cheerful way and elicit a similar response from you.

Your ex knows that by showing you her vulnerabilities, she could evoke an “I told you so” response out of you.

This is the last thing she wants after she’s made the decision to break up with you. Instead, she chooses a different approach.

For instance, your ex-girlfriend could say:

• I miss you
• you are so amazing
• I wish you were here right now
• you understand me so well

In this way, she will cunningly procure a similar response from you in order to make herself feel whole again.

This is often the reason why dumpers reach out and say sweet things. When they receive validation and climb out of their temporary, dark place, they will then proceed as if nothing happened.

Exes are selfish beings

If your ex-girlfriend wants a break but contacts you from time to time in a pretending way, you can be almost certain that she is experiencing ups and downs in her life.

If she didn’t, she simply wouldn’t be looking for attention in such a bold demeanor—especially not from her ex-boyfriend.

Just how you feel compelled to reach out to your ex more on your bad days, so does your ex-girlfriend. For her to get in a vulnerable state, enough time must have passed since the breakup.

I can’t tell you how much because we all go through the breakup at our own pace, but I can tell you that she needs to get to the third or the fourth stage of a breakup for the dumper.

Once she’s in this helpless stage, she will likely message you every time she hits a snag.

Why do ex-girlfriends contact you in an angry way?

There are no words or actions in this world that don’t demand some sort of a reaction in return.

Even volunteering and selfless deeds are not as selfless as they appear to be. We do such acts because they make us feel internally fulfilled.

So when your angry ex-girlfriend lashes out in some demeaning, rude way, she does so because she feels threatened.

Her ego is in danger, despite wanting to take a break from the relationship.

If you consider jealousy, for example, I’m sure you will agree with me that this powerful emotion usually provokes an angry reaction.

The perception of a possible threat naturally fires up the chemicals in our brains and prepares our bodies to fight.

The same kind of fear often befalls your ex when she wants a break. A blow to the ego and a loss of importance as a person trigger your ex-girlfriend’s primal instincts.

As a result of unstoppable fury, she then reaches out in an attempt to refill her validation.

As you now know, she doesn’t lash at you to get back together or to punish you for something you may or may not have done in her absence, but rather to make herself feel better.

My girlfriend wants a break but dates others

More often than not, when an ex-girlfriend wants a break, she basically wants to date others. You may hear her express this directly or she might keep it to herself.

It doesn’t really matter what she says because most people grab the very first opportunity they get.

I don’t want to sound too pessimistic or insulting to women, but the truth is that most dumpers, as well as dumpees, will accept an invitation from the first person that invites them out.

Monkey-branching is extremely common these days. Perhaps this is the reason why most rebound relationships fail miserably.

She wants a break but still contacts me regretfully

In cases where your girlfriend wants a break but keeps contacting you frequently in a regretful, sorrowful and pitiful way, we can generalize her emotional state as miserable and sorrowful.

In such cases, one or more of the following events have happened to her:

• unmanifested expectations
• a loss of something or someone
• reaching the regret and nostalgia stage
• a transition from happiness to depression
• she got through the stages of the grass is greener syndrome

Many people would rather take a butt-whipping than admit they were wrong and made a bad decision.

In such cases, it’s especially necessary for the dumper to admit faults and errors.

Without acknowledging her shortcomings and apologizing thoroughly, she cannot learn and improve.

That’s why it’s imperative to allow her to come back on her own once your ex is prepared to lower her pride.

My girlfriend wants a break but doesn’t contact me

If your girlfriend proposed a break but doesn’t contact you, she’s trying to move on. No ifs or buts.

Actions speak for themselves, and as we have previously discussed, she merely used the break as an excuse to break up.

Your girlfriend or rather ex-girlfriend can’t be taken in a literal sense when she wants a break.

There’s only one two-letter word that is missing from the word break. That word is “up.” A break-up.

The two words may connect, but the fact that your girlfriend wants a break implies she wants distance from you.

And when she wants to stay away from you for whatever reason, she doesn’t intend on coming back. At least not any time soon.

Her feelings can, of course, change in the future, but the reality is as it is right now.

If she wanted to go on holiday with her friends, she’d tell you she’s leaving for a few days or a few weeks. Your girlfriend would specifically tell you where she’s going, who she’s going with and when she will return.

An ex-girlfriend doesn’t do that. Instead, she just tells you she’s leaving for an undefined period of time. This is a big sign that she’s checking out of the relationship.

So if your girlfriend broke up with you in this absurd way, please don’t wait around for her. It’s totally pointless.

Instead, get extremely busy, start working on your shortcomings and find meaning in your life.

You never know what the future holds. One day, your ex might just come back, or perhaps you will find someone better.

Either way, you will find happiness.

Does your ex-girlfriend want a break but still contacts you? Please leave a comment.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.