My Ex Won’t Text Me Back Anymore

When your ex won’t text you back anymore, you’ve got yourself one of the typical signs of a disinterested ex-partner.

Whether it was you or your ex who initiated the most recent conversation/s doesn’t really matter.

What does matter, however, is that your ex lost interest somewhere along the way and is now refusing to reply because you overinvested.

This occurred when you unknowingly pushed your ex for attention to the point where he or she couldn’t reciprocate the intensity of your text messages or calls.

Coincidentally, your ex overheated due to his or her inability to give you what you wanted and is now cooling off from the heat.

That’s why you first need to realize that what you were doing wasn’t working out for your ex. Too much of your presence suffocated your ex and made him or her want to run instead of reciprocating your feelings.

This is something that can happen very quickly to the dumper after an emotionally draining breakup. His or her weakened mentality combined with a consuming desire for space and distance makes things even harder.

So take a moment or two to read this article.

When you do, you will understand the reasons why your ex won’t text you back anymore.

My ex won’t text me back anymore

When you text your ex and he or she doesn’t reply, there are only two possible explanations for your ex’s behavior.

1. Your ex is busy and can’t reply.
2. Your ex doesn’t want to reply.

If your ex genuinely can’t reply, all you have to do is wait and your ex will reply at his or her best convenience.

But if your ex still doesn’t reply the next day or the day after that, then you can be certain your ex is ignoring you.

He or she doesn’t want to talk to you, so it doesn’t leave you with any other options but to wait for your ex to reply.

If you don’t want to annoy your ex or any living human being when they don’t reply, here’s a suggestion from me to you.

Never text or call a person twice just to “make sure that he or she got your message.”

Doing so would annoy him or her further and cause even more long-term damage. Perhaps it would be irreversible and might get you blocked as well.

It really depends on how emotionally mature the person you’re talking to is.

But regardless of how much self-control he or she has, everybody has a tipping point.

You probably just don’t want to find out how far you can push them.

The 1-1 rule

Make sure you converse with everybody you encounter as if you’re playing tennis with them. After you’ve hit the ball in their court, wait for them to return it. Don’t hit 3 or 4 balls in people’s court and expect them to be excited about it.

It won’t happen when you’re so eager to play it makes them feel forced to play along.

You’ll be killing all the fun, excitement, and quite frankly—the desire to be your friend.

And the same goes for your ex.

By pretending to be your ex’s enthusiastic friend, you will show your ex that you don’t care about being in a romantic relationship with him or her—and that all you want is friendship.

If that’s what you want, go ahead and accept your ex’s friendship. Hit 5 or 10 balls in your ex’s court.

But don’t expect your ex to treat you like a friend either. To your ex, you definitely won’t appear as someone who respects himself or herself as a dumpee.

You’ll instead look weak, overly dependent, needy and emotionally unstable.

Your ex won’t think of you as a person who contributes to his or her life. Contrarily, your ex will think of you as a leech who steals his or her happiness.

And that’s probably not the kind of association you want your ex to attach to your post-breakup persona.

Not unless you want your ex to respect you as an equal – a person of high value and self-respect.

Why won’t my ex text me back anymore

If your ex won’t text you anymore, you’ve likely:

• hit too many balls in your ex’s court
• tired your ex out
• committed the typical post-breakup mistakes
• or your ex has different plans/people in his or her life

Since staying friends with an ex usually demands a lot of attention, playing tennis with your ex-partner often doesn’t work.

It shows your ex that you’re still eager to have him or her in your life—which makes you look incredibly demanding as a result.

Now, whether this is true or not doesn’t matter too much. What matters is how your ex perceives your attention-seeking behavior.

Does your ex understand the breakup dynamics and the repelling emotions he or she feels as a result of the breakup? Moreover, does your ex possess the personal strength to rationalize his or her feelings toward you as unthreatening?

If the answer is yes, your ex is self-aware enough to understand the complexity of his or her feelings and is, as a result, able to converse with you like a thoughtful grown-up.

However, if your ex lacks these mature personality traits and characteristics, then your ex will likely act instinctually and reply angrily or refuse to respond at all.

That’s why you need to comprehend that what your ex does and doesn’t do is a reflection of his or her personality. And that’s not something you should blame yourself for.

You’re not responsible for the way a person is and acts toward you.

In your case, if your ex won’t text you back anymore, it’s got more to do with your ex than it does with you.

Believe it or not, but you merely played your role as someone who influenced your ex. You didn’t directly cause your ex not to text you back.

So don’t take responsibility for your ex’s irritation and contempt toward you.

Don’t waste your time!

Your ex broke up with you for a reason. And that reason is to get some space and distance from you so that he or she can breathe again.

In other terms, we can say that your ex felt smothered pre-breakup and reacted instinctually to suit his or her needs.

And that’s what your ex initially got. That is until you showed a renewed enthusiasm to converse and attempted to extort from your ex that which he or she craves the most – freedom.

When you did, your ex quickly became exhausted and said: “Nope, I’m done.”

And then—there was silence.

Without your awareness, your actions have indirectly caused your unaware ex to lose his or her energy. Due to your “demanding attitude,” your ex interpreted your actions in a negative way and lost the will to text you back.

That’s why you can’t expect your ex to text you back and call you when he or she feels repulsed by your presence.

It can’t and won’t happen as long as your ex feels the need to run away from you.

What do I do when my ex won’t text me back anymore?

If you don’t want to listen to your ex’s dating stories and how much fun he or she is having without you, I strongly suggest you don’t play pong with your ex.

Play the indefinite no contact rule instead and keep your dignity while you still can.

Keep in mind that your ex isn’t interested in staying friends and conversing with you right now anyway—so don’t try to force your ex.

It won’t work for your ex and it certainly won’t work for the validation-starved you.

The most it will do is keep you hungry for your ex’s attention and depending on your actions—revolt, annoy or make it easy on your ex.

So if you want to stop your self-esteem and value from plummetting, take my advice seriously and take the attention off your ex.

It’s the only way to give yourself and your ex what you both need.

Don’t waste your time hoping your ex will text you back after your ex has ignored you for days or weeks.

Although he or she likely will contact you at some point, try not to become dependent on it.

You won’t be any happier if you do.

If anything, it will only keep your breakup wound open for much longer than it needs to be.

And on top of that, you won’t let go of hope and unhealthy attachments any quicker either.

So if your ex won’t text you back anymore, don’ text your ex either. It’s that simple, yet so difficult to do sometimes.

People are emotion-driven

When your ex won’t text you back, there’s a reason for that. That reason is your ex’s negative emotions.

Your ex doesn’t feel that he or she wants to text you so your ex instead does what he or she wants to do.

Whether it’s hanging out with his or her buddies or playing golf isn’t any of your concern right now. The fact that your ex doesn’t want to communicate with you is all you need to know.

You also need to understand that not getting a reply from your ex is a response as well.

It means, “Leave me alone!”

But since you know your ex genuinely feels repulsed instead of being drawn to you, you probably feel attracted to your ex even more.

Your ex’s lack of care and understanding of your emotions makes you want your ex more than ever before.

But you need to realize that your “selfish” actions are pushing your ex away.

As long as you want more from your ex than he or she is willing to give, you’re creating a huge imbalance.

You’re basically feeding your ex with attention after he or she was sick of it weeks or months ago.

That’s why you need to stop at once and realize that your ex isn’t starving for attention and validation like you are.

Your ex is so full of it that he or she is going to explode if you keep this up.

And when your ex does, you’ll be the one responsible for what your ex feels. At least in your ex’s mind.

So allow your ex to naturally want to talk to you again by making your ex stop ignoring you on his or her own terms.

While you detox from unhealthy attachments, your ex will process his or her need for space.

And when you least expect it, you will hear from your ex again.

You just have to be patient!

Does your ex not text you back anymore? How does that make you feel? Please leave a comment.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.