My Ex Says He Still Loves Me But Has A Girlfriend

When an ex says he still loves you but has a girlfriend, your ex either doesn’t understand what love means or doesn’t care that he’s telling you lies. Either way, he’s acting like a dumper who thinks it’s okay to give the dumpee false hope and string her along.

The reason why your ex is stringing you along isn’t so he can have two women in his life who adore him. It’s because he doesn’t want to be honest with you and hurt you. He wants the best of both worlds which is a relationship with his girlfriend and a friendship with his ex-girlfriend.

Little does he know that he’s playing a dangerous game and that sooner than later, his girlfriend is going to discover what he’s up to. She’ll catch him red-handed. And when she does, chances are that she won’t like it. She especially won’t like him saying that he still loves you and cares about you when he should be saying those words exclusively to his girlfriend.

You see, the word “love” is meant for boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives. Some people say it to their friends as well (usually women)—and I suppose that’s fine as they mean to say that they appreciate them. Their friends don’t get hope from it.

But they definitely shouldn’t say it to other potential romantic partners. This is especially true if that person is an ex they recently dumped.

Dumpees take their ex’s words very literally after the breakup. They look for hope and healing in the things their ex says (and does), so they often put their hearts on the line and wait for their ex to reciprocate their feelings. If their ex says words like “I still love you, I wish we could be together, I’m making a big mistake,” they get extremely hopeful as they think their ex has romantic feelings for them.

But unfortunately, their ex doesn’t have any feelings. Their ex just feels awful for breaking their hearts and making them suffer while he’s already dating (or planning to date) someone else.

So if your ex says he still loves you but has a girlfriend, keep in mind that your ex doesn’t know how to treat an ex-girlfriend properly (or his new girlfriend for that matter). He thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to throw the word love in your face and pretend like you’re his most important person.

The truth of the matter is that you’re not that important. I wish your ex was the one who told you this rather than a stranger on the internet, but your ex is too afraid to tell you the truth. He’s a coward. If you meant something to him, he simply wouldn’t be dating someone else. He’d be running back to you and apologizing for thinking he could be happier without you and with someone else.

You’re probably thinking that your ex might be unhappy in his new relationship and that he’s thinking of coming back to you. Although that could be the case, it probably isn’t. Especially not if you recently broke up (a couple of months ago or so) because in that case, your ex hasn’t had enough time to process things and discover your worth.

Exes become miserable and regretful months later when they get to know their new girlfriend and realize they made a poor decision. That’s when they experience buyer’s remorse and become sad and nostalgic. They sometimes even start reaching out to their ex and saying “I still love you, I need you.” They do this to see if their ex can help them deal with the problems they’re facing.

At that moment, they don’t intend to come back just yet. They’re still committed to their partner and intend to stay committed to her. They come back later – after they’ve broken up with their girlfriend and decided to monkey-branch to someone who “understands” them and treats them well.

That person could be an ex or someone new. It doesn’t matter who it is as long as they can replace their horrible experience with someone they connect with.

In this post, we’ll discuss why your ex says he still loves you when he has a girlfriend.

Why does my ex say he still loves me if he has a girlfriend?

Your ex might have said he still loves you for various reasons, so we need to discuss them one by one.

The most reasonable explanation is that your ex confused guilt for love and wanted you to know he still cared about you as a person. By doing so, he received a positive response from you and stopped criticizing and questioning himself about the things he can’t change.

He can’t change the fact that he hurt you and found someone new to date while you are or were still dealing with the post-breakup blues and wondering why the breakup happened. The thought that you didn’t deserve to be treated the way you were has probably weighed your dumper down mentally and emotionally.

It made him wonder if he could have done things differently.

Usually, guilt kicks in weeks or months after the breakup when dumpers stop feeling relieved and overly excited and see that they made some selfish decisions that may have harmed their ex. That’s when they start reaching out, apologizing, and trying to figure out if their ex is doing okay without them.

You should keep in mind that most dumpers don’t compete with their exes. They don’t have such high egos that they need to be happier than their ex. Only narcissists and vengeful people consider breakups competition. That’s why they fixate on bringing their ex down so much that they forget to enjoy their lives.

Luckily, your ex isn’t like that. He wouldn’t tell you he loves you if he planned to see you fail and get a kick out of it. On the contrary, your ex probably wants to see you’re doing fine so he could forgive himself for hurting you and enjoying his life with his new girlfriend.

Your ex might also have said he loved you because he wanted to know how you think and feel about him. Dumpers say this line not to leave the door open and get back with their ex as some dumpees assume, but to know if their ex despises them and blames them for the breakup.

Figuring out how their ex thinks and feels is important to them as it helps them see what kind of relationship they can have with their ex and tells them whether they have to keep questioning their choices and morality.

It’s no secret that your ex-boyfriend doesn’t know how to communicate with ex-girlfriends. He thinks that saying “I love you, I miss you, I think about you a lot” when he has a new girlfriend is normal and that you don’t mind it. In reality, you do mind it as it’s not normal. It’s abnormal and unfair to you.

You took it to heart as deep inside, you still hope that your ex will come back or at the very least, acknowledge your worth and show that you didn’t deserve to suffer the way you did. You deserved to be loved and appreciated—and that’s what you need to hear and understand.

Now that your ex is gone, he shouldn’t be telling you things he told you while he was with you. He should leave out relationship matters and respect your healing and his new girlfriend. If he’s not doing that, he doesn’t know how to adapt. Or he just doesn’t want to adapt because he’s putting his wants and needs far before you and his girlfriend.

No matter what his reasons for talking to you like you’re still together are, it’s not good. If he keeps this up, he’s going to involve you in his relationship and cause problems for you and his new partner.

You should keep in mind that an ex who tells you sweet things has no spine. He’s not telling you how great you are because he genuinely wants to be with you but because he’s afraid of putting his big boy pants on and telling the truth.

The truth is that he’s with someone new and that it’s impossible for him to love two people at the same time. Yes, some people are polyamorous, but only a small percentage of people. And in all honesty, even they often struggle to maintain a healthy relationship because someone tends to feel underprioritized and jealous of the other.

So don’t assume that your ex’s heart is big enough for two people. Convictions like that will wound you and leave you wanting more.

The following picture explains why your ex says he still loves you when he has a girlfriend.

What to say when an ex with a girlfriend says he still loves you?

First things first, don’t say you love him back. If you do that, you’ll confess your feelings to him and disrespect his relationship. As crazy as this sounds, you might make him think that you actually love him and put him in a tight spot.

Consequently, his girlfriend could accidentally find out about it and give you and her boyfriend a hard time.

That’s why it’s best not to reciprocate his “fake” love. Instead of responding with an “I love you too,” say that he shouldn’t say things like that and that you require him to be careful about the words he says. Say that he needs to avoid saying anything that hints you’re still together and that he needs to be mindful of his girlfriend’s feelings.

That will prevent your ex from doing the same thing in the future and also make him respect you for standing up for yourself and respecting his partner. It will not, however, make your ex leave you alone.

To do that, you’ll have to tell your ex to stop reaching out and let you process the breakup. We won’t go into detail about that in this post as we’ve done that a million times before, so read some other articles on how to stop your ex from reaching out and stringing you along.

Today, you need to learn that you mustn’t say I love you back to your ex-boyfriend. You mustn’t make it look like it’s okay to say this to ex-partners. Your ex shouldn’t say it to you because he doesn’t love you and you shouldn’t say it to him because he doesn’t deserve it.

He’ll deserve it when he leaves his partner or gets broken up by her and realizes that you are the most important person in the world to him. When that happens, you won’t be confused and wonder what he wants. You’ll be certain he wants you back because he’ll need your love.

As your ex is now, he doesn’t need your love. He’s perfectly fine without it as he’s okay emotionally and has no or few tiny regrets. Always remember that love requires reciprocation. A person who feels love gives love with the expectation to receive love in return.

If he doesn’t get it fast enough, his fears and anxiety rush through his system and make him even more desperate to obtain it.

I’m telling you this so you understand that someone who says he loves you and then focuses on his girlfriend has no fear of losing you. He doesn’t have any anxiety or fear and doesn’t care if you date someone new. The things he cares about are his new girlfriend, friends, and hobbies.

So no matter what your ex tells you and promises you, always judge him by his actions. His actions prove what’s in his heart and what he expects from the breakup.

It’s better for your health that you avoid asking yourself questions like:

• Does he still love me even if he is with someone else?
• Is he thinking of leaving his girlfriend for me?
• Did he realize he can’t replace me?
• Is he on the fence about who to be with?
• Should I tell him I love him and try to win him back?

Instead, ask yourself things like, “If he loves me, why is he with her? Shouldn’t he already be with me?” Questions that will make you doubt your ex’s love for you will help you understand that your ex would have shown you he loved you if that’s how he felt about you.

He would have done everything in his power to win your love and trust back. There would be no room for confusion.

So as long as your ex is with his girlfriend and says that he loves you, refuse to take his words seriously. Consider his love to be caused by guilt, friendly care, curiosity, or something not going well for your ex.

Whatever it is, don’t stick around and keep wondering about your ex’s intentions.

Did your ex say he still loves you but has a girlfriend? How did that make you feel? Let us know in the comments below.

However, if you’d like to discuss your ex’s peculiar behavior with us privately and in detail, sign up for a breakup session here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.