My Ex Is Trying To Make Me Jealous

Since dumpers are tired of being in a relationship with their exes, they often change their exes’ personality traits into whatever they want them to be. They do everything in their power to devalue their exes just so they can avoid taking responsibility and pretend to be victims.

The sad truth is that they don’t just pretend to be victims. They believe they are, otherwise, they wouldn’t feel emotions of relief, anger, suffocation, and power. They’d feel weak and miserable, similar to how dumpees feel. But that’s not how breakups work. Most breakups are one-sided, which means that only one person gets to feel relieved.

Only one person gets to feel happy—and that person is the dumper. Dumpers feel that they were mistreated, neglected, abused, or that they deserve better. That’s why they think they must protect their ego and pride by doing something that hurts dumpees and brings a strong reaction out of them.

The easiest way for them to do that is to play jealousy games. Jealousy can almost instantaneously affect broken-hearted dumpees and empower dumpers with validation and control. Power-hungry dumpers act maliciously so that they can put their exes down and uplift themselves.

They believe that their exes have hurt them a lot and that they must get back at their exes for the things their exes did throughout the relationship.

If you get angry or beg and plead with dumpers for another chance after they’ve made you jealous, they get exactly what they need from you. They get their ego boosted and stop caring about you completely. They don’t want anything to do with you anymore because they see that they have power over you and lose interest.

This is why begging and pleading and interacting with dumpers almost never works in the ways you want it to work. Before you get a chance to reason with them, their self-defense mechanisms are already up and running. They’re already guarded and ready to repel anything that shows you care about them more than you should care.

So don’t confuse post-breakup jealousy for jealousy in a relationship. A little bit of jealousy in a relationship can be a good thing as it can show that you care. But jealousy after the breakup isn’t good at all. It serves no purpose as some dumpers just want to make their exes jealous to hurt them and have their revenge.

If your ex is trying to make you jealous and you’re trying to figure out why, keep reading. This article will explain why your ex would do that when he or she is already in full control of the breakup.

My ex is trying to make me jealous

When dumpers have spread enough rumors about their “awful” relationships, they eventually start believing what they say and think. They transform their kindhearted ex-partners into untameable beasts and do their best to get their friends and family on their sides too.

Oftentimes, they try to make their ex-partners look bad just so that they can justify their breakup decision and appear divine in their peers’ eyes.

But sometimes, dumpers don’t stop there.

Because they feel disrespected, belittled and extremely angry, emotionally immature dumpers sometimes act on instincts and start looking for retribution. After some scheming and plotting, they come up with various malicious ways to play mind games with their dumpees and make them suffer for their wrongdoings.

They see that they have power and that they can use their power to their advantage.

Such dumpers can play all sorts of games with dumpees, but the most common ones are jealousy games. Jealousy games make them feel more important than they are as they show them that their ex still cares about them.

But, fortunately, their immature behavior doesn’t last forever.

When dumpees pick up on their exes’ jealousy games, they start asking questions, such as, “Why is my ex trying to make me jealous when he/she broke up with me? Why does my ex want to hurt me? Did I do something to offend my ex?“

At first, the dumpers’ behavior doesn’t make any sense. Why would an ex try to make you jealous with another guy or woman when you just want to heal and move on? You’re probably just minding your own business, but your ex won’t let you do that. It’s as if peace hurts your ex and causes him or her extreme discomfort.

Well, peace probably does hurt your ex because your ex doesn’t want you to be happy. Your ex especially doesn’t want you to be happy if you’re staying in no contact and focusing on yourself. The thought that you could get away from the relationship without paying the price for the things you’ve done infuriates your ex. That’s why your ex thinks he or she needs to do something about it.

Is my ex playing mind games?

Most exes don’t play mind games with their dumpees. They normally have better things to do—and just go separate ways. That way, they can get some space from their exes and not worry about anyone but themselves.

It’s the young, immature, and vengeful exes who play mind games after the breakup. Such dumpers think their ex had the last laugh and that they need to make their ex suffer in order to get even. That’s why they play mind games or jealousy games with someone who isn’t even in their life anymore.

So if you’re wondering whether your ex is playing mind games, look at the malicious deeds your ex is doing. The more pain and suffering your ex wants to cause you, the more likely it is that your ex wants revenge.

You need to protect yourself from it by being the bigger person and unfollowing or even blocking your ex. That’s if your ex is reaching out or posting harmful things on social media.

If your ex is reaching out to you and saying strange things, however, then try not to immediately assume that your ex is playing mind games with you. Your ex could be just trying to act like a friend. A friend who confuses you and makes you wonder what his or her intentions are.

You need to stop communicating with your ex as his or her breadcrumbs can’t help you. They can just give you false hope and make you feel like getting back with your ex is possible.

Dumpers want out

Sadly, many dumpers are so done with the relationship that they just don’t care if they hurt you. Even if they see that you’re struggling with the breakup and know you could use their help, they still won’t help you.

They won’t do it because they’d rather not risk getting pressured and guilt-tripped by you. They broke up with you to stay away from you, not to reach your expectations and continue helping you cope with anxiety and problems.

Breakups are about emotional and physical space. So expect dumpers to stop interacting with you or interacting the way you want them to.

Is my ex trying to make me jealous?

If your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is trying to make you jealous, you probably already know that he or she is. You see that your ex is dying for a reaction from you because your ex needs to see how his or her actions make you feel.

A cheesy relationship quote or a picture of some random person on social media is unlikely going to give your ex much satisfaction. That’s because your ex won’t know how it affects you. Your ex will know how it affects you only if he or she sees you in person (let’s say at the club) and dances or makes out with people in front of you.

That would be extremely manipulative and a below-the-belt hit. It’s something only the most immature dumpers would do because they assume that their worth is determined by the attention they receive from others. The only advice I can give you about people like that is to run.

Run far away and be glad that the relationship with them has ended.

You have every right to lose respect for your ex when your ex plays jealousy games and mind games that intend to destroy your self-esteem and hurt you.

Here are some things your ex could do to make you jealous:

• Posting relationship pictures on Facebook/Instagram. Your ex could tag you, talk about you, or compare you to someone else.
• Professing undying love to his/her new partner online or next to you.
• Announcing publicly how bad his or her previous relationship was.
• Flirting with others and making sure you noticed it.
• Trying to make you nostalgic. For example, going to common places and doing things you used to do together as a couple. An ex playing the nostalgia card could take someone he or she likes to a place you liked – let’s say the place you proposed. That’s how your ex could make you feel insignificant and nostalgic at the same time.

If you notice that your ex is trying to make you jealous, don’t get upset with your ex. Don’t do anything that would tell your ex that you’re hurt and disappointed by your ex’s behavior. That would only validate your ex’s new relationship and give more power to your ex.

The power that your ex doesn’t need any more of.

Why is my ex trying to make me jealous?

If your ex tries to make you jealous, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex still cares about you romantically. Your ex probably isn’t pretending to be over you or anything you could be hoping for.

The reason your ex is trying to make you jealous is way simpler than you may think. That’s because there is only one reasonable explanation for your ex’s behavior.

And it goes like this.

Your ex is being vindictive and wants to hurt you for who you are as a person and how you’ve made him or her feel throughout the relationship. Your ex knows that when he or she makes you feel jealous, your ex also damages your self-esteem and your happiness.

The moment you get hurt and your ex finds out about it, he or she feels better about himself or herself and feels in control.

Yes, some people can be vengeful to the core. When someone hurts them and disrespects them, their knee-jerk reaction is to retaliate with more destruction. An eye for an eye, so to speak.

If you want karma to get your ex, you know what I’m talking about. You want your ex to pay for treating you poorly.

Here’s an infographic explaining why your ex is trying to make you jealous.

Breakups can get ugly

Breakups sometimes turn into a competition between the dumper and the dumpee.

When the dumper realizes that the dumpee is doing okay during no contact, the dumper’s ego sometimes takes a hit. It makes the dumper think that he or she is not important and worth speaking to. That’s when the dumper decides to obtain an ego boost through acts of malice and vengeance.

You must understand that the dumper often feels victimized after the breakup. And when he or she realizes that the dumpee is doing great or good enough, an immature dumper also resorts to things that cause pain and validate his or her importance.

Dumpers vs dumpees

If dumpees are known for begging, apologizing, and pulling off grand gestures, then dumpers certainly don’t disappoint when it comes to playing jealousy games and sending breadcrumbs.

Power-hungry dumpers who have absolutely no self-control give the word jealousy a whole new meaning. Since they like to blame their exes for the way they feel, they often want justice—and start doing wicked things. Things that their parents or children wouldn’t be proud of.

They use underhand tactics to put their dumpees down and by doing so, increase their own significance.

Or at least they think they do.

What they don’t realize is that they are only ruining their own karma and making things harder for themselves in the long run. When they realize that others don’t define their worth is when they relearn the definition of self-worth and find ways to grow it the right way – by investing in themselves.

What if your ex makes you jealous?

Even if your ex manages to get what he or she is after (validation), it won’t take long before your ex runs out of it.

The reason for that is that validation provides a powerful, yet short-lived boost to the ego. It doesn’t last long because the ego is a constant desire for external validation. So even though your ex may get some validation from you, he or she won’t feel empowered by it forever.

Eventually, your ex’s validation will once again hit rock bottom, forcing your ex to seek it again. Your ex might, of course, not seek it from you but perhaps from someone else.

This is especially true if your ex appears to have low self-esteem and constantly requires approval.

So if you fall for your ex’s jealousy trap, don’t panic. Let your ex do what he or she wants to do while you figure out a way to become happy with yourself again.

Should I make my ex jealous?

Please don’t attempt to play mind games versus your ex’s mind games.

Your ex won’t get jealous after you’ve become jealous. That’s because your ex isn’t emotionally invested in you anymore. He or she probably wants you to find someone else and move on with your life.

By fighting dirty, you’ll just stoop down to your ex’s level and prove that you’re just like your ex. You’ll prove that you’re vengeful and manipulative.

If you resort to playing jealousy games, your breakup will turn into a nasty competition that won’t even be about your current partners/dates/hookups anymore. It will be about proving who can make each other feel the worst. And if you ask me, that’s completely pointless and a waste of a perfectly good life.

Just because your ex is playing nasty, doesn’t mean you should retaliate in a nasty way. It’s not the right way to make someone “care” about you. It’s healthier for you and those around you to focus on creating relationships rather than destroying them.

Make your ex envious

If you’re thinking of making your ex jealous by resorting to jealousy games, know that you should incite envy instead. Envy is the morally-acceptable way of making your ex feel that he or she is missing out on you because you’ll be focusing on yourself and enjoying your life.

You’ll be improving your life, growing as a person, and not caring about your ex’s little games.

So direct your attention toward yourself and the things that matter to you.

Your ex no longer matters. He or she is a person from the past who shouldn’t occupy your mind anymore. If he or she does, it means you have some work to do. You have to detach, forgive your ex, and know that it’s not worth fighting fire with fire.

Not unless you have nothing better going on in your life.

Is your ex making you jealous? Are you thinking of making your ex jealous back? Let us know what you’re thinking in the comments below.

And as always, if you’d like to discuss your ex’s behavior or the breakup with us, sign up for breakup coaching with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.