My Ex Is Dating Someone Totally Opposite Of Me

When couples part ways, they don’t care what their new partner will be like and look like. Sure, they have certain preferences and expectations as all people do, but the most important thing to them is that they find someone other than their ex with whom they can have a different and better relationship.

They want someone they can progress in life with and not get tired or bored. And that person has to be someone different – someone opposite of you who doesn’t make the same mistakes or give off the same vibe as you.

Keep in mind that your ex doesn’t want a you 2.0. If your ex is the dumper, your ex lost feelings for you and associated negative emotions with your persona. He or she wasn’t looking for the same traits, habits, and hobbies in the next person. Your ex was looking for a totally different experience. For someone who wouldn’t remind him or her of the past and trigger unwanted emotions the way you did towards the end of the relationship.

The only way your ex can avoid unwanted reminders and feelings that come with them is to give someone completely different a try. This new person can distract your ex from thinking about you and perhaps even give your ex a more fulfilling, long-lasting relationship.

Of course, how successful your ex’s new relationship is doesn’t depend on how similar or different your ex is from you. It depends on his or her relationship skills, values, goals, self-awareness, impulse control, communication, and much much more.

These things determine how long and loving the relationship will be whereas differences in personality and appearance are just differences. Your ex didn’t intentionally look for them.

So if your ex just started dating someone totally opposite of you and you can’t figure out why your ex would do that, bear in mind that your ex doesn’t even care if this new person is different, the same, or similar. Your ex doesn’t compare him or her to you because the relationship is new and exciting.

Your ex could compare the two of you later if they encounter relationship problems.

But for now, your ex is in the honeymoon phase or in one of the early relationship stages and is trying to focus on the new person rather than you.

This post will explain why your ex is dating someone totally opposite of you and what you should do.

Why is my ex dating the opposite of me?

If your ex is dating someone totally opposite of you, this doesn’t mean that who you are is not good enough. All it means is that your ex ran into someone who happened to be very different from you and that your ex liked him or her.

Your ex found this person attractive (and this person your ex), so they decided to start dating each other so they can see how things go. No scientific explanation is needed to explain a random occurrence such as this because most people (especially dumpers) start dating the very first person they set their eyes on.

They do this because they’re detached and tired from their previous relationship and want someone to give them love, strength, and energy. As you know, dating can feel very empowering for the first few months because the relationship is unexplored and fun. This is the reason why people usually jump back into the dating pool very quickly.

They don’t like waiting because waiting would make them miss out on new romantic opportunities that would give them butterflies and help them distract themselves from their ex.

So if your ex started dating right away and that person happens to be different from you in every way, think of it as a completely random occurrence. Although finding someone to date is quite easy these days (many people have options to choose from), people tend not to intentionally start dating someone the opposite of their ex.

When they do find someone totally different (or very similar for that matter), it’s by pure coincidence. They don’t specifically look for a person different from their ex or a person resembling their ex. They don’t do it actively or subconsciously. At least not dumpers.

For a few months after the breakup, broken-hearted dumpees sometimes gravitate toward people who visually resemble (not match) the ex who broke up with them. But they do this because they grew attached to their ex’s looks, race, religion, hobbies, etc., and want a similar experience with someone else.

They normally find such people on dating apps because apps give them lots of dating options to choose from. Once they get over their ex, however, this ex-obsession ends. That’s when they stop fantasizing about their ex and take interest in the types of people they liked before they became obsessed with their ex.

So whether you expected your ex to date someone similar or completely opposite of you, try to rationally and emotionally understand that your ex doesn’t care about the things this person has in common or not in common with you. Yes, your ex doesn’t want the same issues to repeat because he or she wants something better, but your ex doesn’t think about differences and commonalities.

Only you do because you’re anxious and want explanations for everything your ex does and doesn’t do. You want to feel in control by knowing that your ex’s decisions in life have something to do with who you are and what you did for your ex.

Here are 5 reasons why your ex is dating the exact opposite of you.

You have to remember that it’s not just your ex who’s in love. The new person also likes your ex and wants to get to know your ex better. The attraction is mutual, which means that they both find each other’s differences attractive.

They’re in this together and will slowly have to get through the infatuation stage to see if they can work with their differences and use them to their advantage.

If they can work with them, they’ll stay together even if they seem to be different people (or different from you). And if they can’t, then they’ll probably exhaust each other and break up when they run out of energy or find someone else to be with.

You need to understand that you mustn’t interfere with their relationship. You mustn’t try to win your ex back even if you’re similar to your ex in many ways and a much better option overall. Your ex has to be the one to realize your worth on his or her own and come back to apologize for leaving you.

That’s the only way your ex will give you the respect you deserve and feel motivated to continue to value you and work on himself/herself and the relationship.

What do I do if my ex is dating someone totally opposite of me?

Whether your ex is dating someone similar to you or the exact opposite of you, your game plan doesn’t change. You still have to respect your ex’s new relationship and avoid communicating with your ex. You have to do it because talking to your ex won’t bring your ex’s old feelings back.

It will just tell your ex that you want the breakup to go your way and that you don’t understand that the end of the relationship means the end of friendship too.

So as long as your ex is dating someone else and it hurts, stay as far away from your ex as possible. Don’t call/text or check up on your ex online because you’ll discover things you’re not ready to discover. You’ll see that your ex is happy while you’re miserable and get even more hurt as a result.

You’ll probably take it personally and by doing so, make your healing very difficult.

That’s why it only leaves you with one option – go indefinite no contact with your ex until your ex’s relationship fails and hurts your ex. That’s when your ex might reach out to you and have some kind of conversation with you. I’m not saying that your ex will want you back, but your ex will probably think about you much more than he or she does right now.

Don’t be afraid that your ex will forget about you and have a perfect life with someone else. Your ex will probably have more stressors than you will (if you stay single) because relationships require a lot of work. Even the most mature and developed couples have to maintain their relationships daily and look for ways to stay on the same path.

Couples who don’t do that don’t necessarily break up, but the chances of things going wrong for them are much higher than for couples who understand the importance of working on themselves and the relationship.

So don’t think your ex will have it easy now that your ex is dating someone completely different from you. Your ex will only appear to have it easy because your ex won’t know much about the new person and the issues they could face together later down the road.

When reality kicks in (and it always does), your ex will face the same issues as every other couple. That’s when you’ll already feel much better and won’t care who your ex is dating and what that person has in common with you. Such things will become irrelevant to you because you’ll have your own life to live.

While you’re waiting to detach, try not to compare yourself to this new person. You’re not in competition with him or her because there is no competition to begin with. Your ex started dating this person simply because they both liked each other and wanted to keep experiencing the way the relationship felt.

Is your ex dating someone totally opposite of you and it’s killing you? What are you worried about the most? Let us know below the post.

And if you’d like to speak with us about it, sign up for coaching with us here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.