My Ex Had A Baby With Someone Else And Wants Me Back

If your ex had a baby with someone else and wants you back, you probably have a lot of doubts about your ex. You’re on the defense, curious as to whether your ex came back because she loves you or because she needs you.

The first two questions on your mind are probably:

1. Does my ex want me back because she’s out of options and needs me to take care of her and the baby?
2. And should I take care of someone else’s baby?

These are very common questions going through a guy’s mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. But what a guy usually doesn’t take into consideration is that a lot has happened after the breakup.

His ex had gone through a lot of internal as well as external struggles—and became stronger and wiser. She may have matured at an incredibly fast rate and may not necessarily want his ex back just because she’s desperate for help.

Although this is, unfortunately, sometimes the case, you have to understand that there are many types of exes who come back.

There are exes who return when they fail in life and learn their lessons the hard way. And there are exes who mature up and come back when they realize that what they had was enough but that they weren’t ready to appreciate it back then.

I want you to be aware of this so that you don’t stereotype pregnant women and single moms and jump to conclusions when your ex with a baby wants you back.

If you love your ex and respect both your ex and yourself, at least hear your ex out first and see if things have changed since she left. Don’t accuse her of horrible things and say that she only wants you back because she has a baby.

That will hurt her more than you can imagine and make it difficult for her to trust and date men.

So again, I repeat, if you don’t want your ex back because of a baby or any other reason you can think of, just tell her that you’re at different points in life and that you appreciate her telling you how she feels.

By handling it maturely, she’ll still be disappointed and feel rejected (that’s almost inevitable), but at least she won’t feel humiliated for being a single mom.

In this post, we’ll talk about the things you should be aware of when your ex has a baby and wants you back.

My ex had a baby and wants me back

It’s no secret that guys (especially younger guys) tend to avoid single moms. They either aren’t ready for a baby and the commitment that comes with it or they just don’t like the idea of looking after a baby that isn’t theirs.

If they are to have a baby in the future, they would much rather have a baby that comes from them.

They simply don’t like being forced to take responsibility because they want the responsibility to come to them naturally with time.

So if you have reservations about an ex with a baby who wants you back, know that you’re not alone. Many guys are apprehensive about committing to a woman with a child because they fear that she will:

• make them love a child who isn’t theirs
• bring shame to their friends and family
• expect them to tend to the needs of the family (force them to grow up faster)
• take away their freedom (the time they could spend on themselves and their friends)
• and quite frankly, use them emotionally, physically, or financially

There’s no nice way for me to put it, but guys have a lot of doubts about an ex with a child.

And because they have doubts and various fears, they usually focus on the negative aspects of the relationship (not the positive ones) and almost always chicken out in the end.

They simply come to the conclusion that a baby from another man is a hassle and that it will take too much of their time.

In conclusion, guys more often than not feel very attracted to exes who broke their hearts. But they rarely feel the same way about taking on the responsibility of fostering their ex’s child.

Here are 7 reasons why.

Another thing worth pointing out is that lots of guys find an ex who’s given birth visually unappealing. I’m no nutritionist or dietitian, but I know that women put on weight after birth and that many guys find them unattractive.

This is especially true for guys who haven’t been with those women during their pregnancy because such guys fail to develop sympathy and understanding for pregnant women.

Instead, they judge them physically and often bluntly tell their friends that their ex has gained weight.

Some women also get postpartum depression and encounter various mental and physical complications. And guys certainly don’t feel happy about that. Most dumpees spend months recovering from a breakup and can barely keep their own stress under control.

So for them, going back to an ex with a baby poses a big risk to their health.

Only those with high levels of emotional strength, sympathy, understanding, or conversely, those with low self-esteem do that. I say low self-esteem because nearly all guys who get back with an ex do so out of weakness rather than strength.

I’ll probably get backlash for this, but they accept their ex back to ease their pain, decrease their insecurities, and boost their happy hormones—and not because their ex can enhance the quality of their life.

I’d say only dumpees who’ve been broken up for a year or longer—or rather, those who’ve moved on from their ex take their emotions out of the equation and rationally determine whether their ex can be a positive influence.

What about guys who date single moms?

Guys who are comfortable dating single moms understand that women with kids are looking for stability and support and that they are tired of fruitless short-term relationships.

They want to settle down and live comfortably. And mature guys like that. They appreciate a woman who is responsible because such a woman will encourage them to be the best versions of themselves.

This is just an assumption, but guys who are okay with dating single moms are probably over the age of 30 and have learned a thing or two about relationships and priorities.

They’ve learned that love comes from within and that accepting a woman’s child from a previous relationship is no different than adoption.

They also know that if they really like their partner (and if their partner likes them) that they can always have more kids with her in the future. That way, they can both have a child of their own and self-actualize.

I suppose the real problem isn’t that guys can’t have their own child. It’s that they aren’t willing to step up their game and make lots of internal as well as external changes.

Internal changes require growing inward, becoming responsible, tending to the child’s needs, and wanting the best for the family—and external changes necessitate minimizing the time with friends and hobbies, ignoring rumors and judgments, and learning more about how to be a good stepfather.

What do women think about this?

I’ve asked around a little bit and realized that women’s opinion on this matter differs from guys’.

Unlike young guys who often avoid dating pregnant women and single moms, women tend to believe that single moms are brave, beautiful, and self-reliant. They think they’re strong because they carried a baby for 9 months and learned how to be responsible.

Only guys (typically younger guys) think that women with kids are desperate for a man and that they’re going to chain up the first person they come in contact with.

Of course, this is just a generalization, but this comprehension seems to be the reason why young single moms have a difficult time dating guys. They know that many guys perceive them as inconveniences and that most guys would much rather start fresh and have their own kids than date someone who has kids already.

One of the women Angelie and I spoke to said that many guys don’t even want kids and that there are guys out there who think a child from someone else is a burden rather than a godsend. ?

Another woman said that some men see single mothers as easy, vulnerable targets and that others don’t mind dating them because they also want kids.

As you can see, opinions vary from person to person.

Should I get back with an ex with a baby?

This is a very personal question and a very sensitive subject, so I can’t directly tell you whether you should be with your ex and take on the responsibility of fostering your ex’s child.

If you love your ex and want to be with her, I encourage you to at least think about it for a day or two and then make a decision based on where you are in life right now.

Not where you’ll be or where you want to be, but where you are right now.

Give it some thought and figure out if your goals and responsibilities align with your ex’s and if you’re even emotionally and financially ready for the biggest commitment of your life.

I’m not trying to scare you, but the three most common reasons why guys don’t accept another woman’s child is that they:

1. Don’t want to take care of another man’s child.
2. Aren’t ready to be responsible yet.
3. And get influenced by society’s negative view of single moms.

Such guys still have many things they want to do for themselves and a lot of maturing to do before they’re ready for a child.

So if you’re thinking of getting back with an ex who had a child with another person, make sure that you’re capable of supporting your ex and her child and that you can love the child as if he or she were your own.

Make sure that you’re willing to be a good role model for the child.

If that’s something you aren’t or aren’t willing to become, the child is better off with just a mom.

Gone are the days when people were against divorce and said, “It’s better to stay with your spouse and make certain the child grows up with both parents or with two guardians. Today, a single responsible parent is better than a responsible and an irresponsible one.

It’s better for the relationship and better for the child.

Apart from being ready to raise a child, you must also determine if your ex has changed. We’ve already established that she’s matured because of her life-changing experience, but has her behavior improved as well?

If it has, is it enough? Is she the person you want to be with because she appreciates your good traits and wants to build a future with you?

That’s what you need to figure out. And you can do that by getting to know her again and learning why she wants you back.

Is it because she’s desperate for the things you can provide for her and the child or is it because she feels inspired by you and wants you back.

Desperation and inspiration are as different as night and day and can be sensed from a mile away. So take some time to study your ex’s intentions and see if you can trust her again.

The more time has passed since the breakup and the more challenges you and your ex overcame during the time apart, the higher the chances that the two of you can work something out.

Did your ex have a baby with someone else and wants you back? How do you feel about that? Are you afraid of old clichés? Comment below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.