My Ex Came Back After A Rebound

If your ex came back after a rebound and you’re wondering if you should give your ex another chance, the first thing you should do is ask your ex why he or she came back.

Your ex will probably tell you that he or she has made a big mistake and that you’re the love of his or her life. Your ex will basically try to convince you that you’re a great person and tell you that your relationship deserves another chance.

This is what most cheaters, monkey-branchers, and rebounders say as it requires very little thinking and self-reflection. It’s an automatic response every person is able to come up with on the spot.

But what you actually want to hear from your ex is:

1. What made your ex realize your worth.
2. What your ex has learned from his or her rebounding.
3. And what’s going to change the second time around.

It’s of utmost importance that your ex comes back with some kind of plan for the relationship and that you don’t accept your ex back on a whim. Your ex needs to show you (not tell you) that he or she is serious about you.

If your ex isn’t serious about you and you take your ex back anyway, you’ll probably just let your ex off the hook.

You’ll show your ex that you don’t think very highly of yourself, and, as a result, lose the power that your ex has returned to you.

You’ll also prevent your ex from making any necessary internal changes. Changes that would prevent history from repeating itself.

If your ex lacks awareness and gratitude and you don’t do anything to inspire (or force) your ex to change it, know that your ex won’t feel motivated to self-invest. Your ex will most likely just stay as he or she is and take you for granted again.

That’s something you don’t want. Not after getting this far. What you want is some kind of visible change. A change or improvement that assures you that your ex won’t leave you at the first sign of trouble.

It might look like you’re asking for a lot, but you’re really not. Security in a relationship is essential. Without security, you’d live in trepidation.

So try not to rush back to an ex who rebounded and instead first discern if your ex has learned his or her lesson and started to improve.

You can tell your ex hasn’t started to improve if your ex hogged all the power and demanded that the reconciliation occurs on his or her terms. In this case, your relationship most likely wouldn’t last very long because your ex wouldn’t be able to grow his or her respect for you and reconnect the bond.

Your ex would probably get tired or bored and leave when you express your unmet needs.

But if your ex respects you and is scared of losing you, then there might be hope for your relationship after all.

Your ex might be able to reconnect with you and stay connected to you. But you’ll have to exude high self-esteem and independence and encourage your ex to continue to grow.

It will take a couple of months to create a new healthy foundation, but if you’re both ready to invest in yourselves and in each other, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to fall back in love with each other.

The success of your relationship depends on the effort you and your ex are willing to put in it.

In this post, we’ll talk about what you need to do when your ex comes back after his/her rebound relationship has failed.

My ex came back after rebound

Unfortunately, some people realize their ex-partner’s worth only when they try to replace their ex with someone new. That’s when they notice their ex’s good characteristics and begin to feel nostalgic about their ex.

Needless to say, such people aren’t the best versions of themselves or developed as people. Among other traits, they lack awareness and gratitude and tend to make important decisions on impulse.

They take things and people for granted when they have them and appreciate them when they lose them.

This is a sign that they lack basic virtues and that they need to reflect on their personalities in order to transform themselves into better people.

So if your ex came back after a rebound relationship failed and you’re eager to give your ex another shot, the best advice I can give you is to slow down a little and do some investigating.

Dig into your ex’s past and find out what exactly transpired.

You’ll probably realize that your ex felt attracted to someone else and that your ex was trying to replace you.

The only reason that didn’t happen was because the new person paled in comparison to you. Of course, there’s also a tiny possibility that your ex still had feelings for you and wasn’t able to detach from you.

But this is true only if your ex came back relatively soon after the breakup (in a month or so).

Most people who get in a rebound relationship (or rather, in a new relationship quickly after their long-term relationship) are, unfortunately, completely over their ex.

They spend months prior to the breakup thinking negative thoughts and developing negative associations toward their ex.

That’s why they feel relieved at the end of their relationship and oftentimes get involved with someone new right away.

This means that your ex probably didn’t come back because of love. Your ex most likely came back because something hurt your ex and made your ex think about getting back together with you.

In other words, your ex’s rebound relationship failed, so instead of processing the loss and finding healthy ways to deal with romantic failure, your ex kept thinking about his or her backup plans (you) and started to miss you.

This is how your ex gradually developed feelings for you and began to crave your affection again.

It’s important that you understand this before you get back with an ex who rebounded.

Should I get back with my ex who came back after his/her rebound failed?

Every relationship is different, which is why I can’t decide for you whether you should get back with your ex.

But I can make the job easier for you by asking you if the relationship with your ex was fulfilling.

Was your ex a loving and respectful partner?

Did your ex invest in you and make you feel secure and happy?

Did he or she treat you with dignity during and after the breakup when you were the most vulnerable?

If the answers to these questions are a strong yes, your ex was probably a decent romantic partner and cared about you. Your ex respected you and was with you for you.

But if your ex wasn’t nice to you and you’re still wondering if you should accept your ex back after a rebound, you clearly aren’t thinking very clearly.

You’re still hurting over the abandonment and need more time to see your ex for the person he or she was and is.

In this case, getting back with your ex immediately after a failed rebound wouldn’t be right. It would be too early to go back because you’d be emotionally dependent on your ex and would want your ex back just to feel better about yourself.

When you know you’ll be okay with or without your ex, you should then go through the questions in the picture below.

These questions will help you determine if getting back with an ex after a rebound is worth the trouble.

Just make sure that you answer them sincerely.

If you can’t answer them because you don’t know your ex’s motives yet, simply talk to your ex about them. Don’t make it seem like an interrogation, but do mention that you’re having trouble deciding if you should give your relationship another chance.

This should convey to your ex that the situation is serious and that his or her answers and behavior will determine the faith of the relationship.

An ex who rebounded and came back needs to know that you’re the one in control and that you get to decide whether the relationship is worth it.

If your ex cares about you and wants you back, you can be certain that your ex will lower his or her ego and happily let you take control of the reconciliation. Your ex will put you in charge and listen to your instructions like a trained puppy.

But if your ex isn’t hurting and doesn’t care about you very much, then it’s possible that your ex will just run out of patience and walk away.

Either way, you’ll get what’s best for you.

So don’t be afraid to put your ex to the test. Your ex may have been in control before he or she left, but now that your ex’s rebound failed, your ex no longer has any control over you.

Your ex is at your mercy and needs to become aware of that.

It’s important that your ex does so that your ex can develop respect for you and form a strong emotional bond.

My ex came back after a rebound. Am I a rebound too?

If your ex came back after a rebound and you’re afraid that you’re just a rebound, know that it’s highly unlikely that you’re a rebound.

For you to be a rebound, your ex would have to develop feelings for another person (in the short space of time that your ex was with that person) and would need to want to be with that person even after the split.

Because of this, your ex would appear sad and confused and wouldn’t be able to focus on you.

This is why the easiest way to check if you and your ex are in a rebound is to ask your ex about his or her motives and figure out why your ex came back.

If you learn that your ex came back because your ex wasn’t compatible with the new person, you’re probably not a rebound. You’re a person who’s much better than the rebound man or woman.

But if your ex came back after a rebound because he or she got dumped, then that’s a completely different story. In this case, your ex came back because the person your ex wanted to be with destroyed your ex’s plans for the future and damaged your ex’s ego.

Figuring out if you’re a rebound may seem difficult at first. But if you look at the person your ex is focusing on, it shouldn’t take you long to discern where your ex’s loyalties lie.

Will my ex leave again?

Some exes come back after a rebound and leave again shortly after.

Such exes lack the emotional drive to stay committed, so they stay only for a short while until they get tired, bored, or find someone else.

It’s your job to detect any wishy-washy behavior on your ex’s end so that you can protect yourself before you let your ex back into your heart.

The best way to do that is to ask your ex lots of questions. Questions about the past (what went wrong), questions about the present (what has changed), and questions about the future (what’s changing or what’s going to change).

An ex who regrets leaving you will answer any and every one of your concerns. He or she will relieve your doubts and go above and beyond to prove that he or she has changed.

That’s why I strongly advise you to take control of the situation and let your ex know that your ex can come back after the rebound but only under one condition.

Your ex must do his or her best to impress you for the next 2 – 3 weeks.

This should give your ex time to work on his or her shortcomings, but not enough time to become the person your ex needs to be.

Also, don’t think that your ex is the only person who needs to change. You also need to invest in yourself so that you and your ex get along better in the future.

How to rebuild trust and stay happy when an ex comes back after a rebound?

If your ex came back after a failed rebound, you and your ex will both need to put a lot of work into your new relationship.

Your ex as a dumper will have to learn why he or she left and rebounded while you as a dumpee will have to rebuild your self-esteem and gain confidence in your abilities.

This is something that could take lots of time. We’re talking about weeks or months of time. How long it will take really depends on your perception of betrayal and your internal strength to forgive and forget.

In my opinion, the best way to trust again after you’ve been hurt is to practice forgiveness and self-love affirmations. Affirmations should give you strength and help you fall back in love with yourself.

Consequently, they should also relieve the pressure off your ex.

As for bonding and growing with your ex, you need to make plans on how to fix the broken trust.

One way to get over the past is to express your gratitude on a frequent basis. Gratitude is the trait that was lacking prior to rebounding, which is why making it stronger should be one of your main priorities.

You should basically tell each other why you’re important to each other and where you see yourselves in the future. The more often you do this, the better the results will be.

Secondly, the person who rebounded should also increase his or her self-awareness and emotional strength to resist temptations.

The dumper can do this by thinking about his or her mistakes and wanting to be better. And while the dumper is trying to improve, the dumpee should encourage the dumper and avoid bringing up the past.

They should both be accepting each other’s pasts and try their best to support each other throughout the personal improvement journey.

Did your ex come back after a rebound failed? Were you able to fix the relationship? Post your thoughts/experiences below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.