“I wish you the best” from an ex doesn’t mean the same as “I wish you the best” from a colleague, friend, or a random person. Typically, it’s a half-meant form of goodbye used by dumpers who want you to be happy but don’t want to be your friend and put in the effort to see you succeed.
They wish you the best out of formality rather than because they genuinely want the best for you.
If they truly wanted the best for you (you to be happy), they’d stay in your life and ensure your happiness. But instead, they indirectly say goodbye and distance themselves from whatever they wish you to succeed in.
The line “I wish you the best” wasn’t something your ex told you while you were still together. He or she didn’t have to because you had a close relationship. Your ex said it only after the breakup due to a lack of closeness, affection, and care. Your ex wanted you to deal with your problems alone and find happiness on your own.
Unfortunately, many dumpees receive halfhearted texts from exes who left them behind. They don’t receive any support and wishes to get their lives back in order. All they get is unempathetic “I wish you the best” responses that make them feel like their ex has changed and that he or she doesn’t care enough to talk compassionately to them.
So if you want to know the meaning of the post-breakup line “I wish you the best,” know that it’s not very genuine. You can probably feel it in your bones that your ex wasn’t concerned about your well-being and that he or she said it just to end things on good terms and keep his or her distance.
I’ve seen many dumpers use this exact line. Some said “I wish you the best of luck” or “I wish you the best of luck on your exam,” but the meaning remained the same. It showed no desire to stay close to the dumpee and watch, let alone help him or her succeed.
Dumpers know what they’re doing and wish their ex the best on purpose. They know their ex wants to feel cared for and close to them, so they deliberately choose phrases that keep their ex at a reasonable distance.
The further away their ex is, the safer they feel and the more they can focus on things that actually matter to them.
“I wish you the best” is very formal. People say it at work or during transactional conversations when talking with people they aren’t close to. And the same is true for exes. They lack feelings and hope for the relationship and may even be resentful, so they say the first thing that helps them appear more caring than they actually are.
This often happens to be the “I wish you the very best” line as this line expresses care without actually getting close enough to help. It’s like telling a person who fell and got hurt that you want him to feel better soon rather than doing your best to help.
Dumpers want to let their ex’s problems stay their ex’s problems. They don’t consider themselves responsible for hurting their ex and doing their best to help. That’s why instead of showing genuine concern and helping their ex, they use overused/thoughtless phrases that hide the problem, justify their actions, and avoid responsibility.
They say things like:
- it’s not you, it’s me
- I love you, but I’m not in love with you
- If we met at a different time, things would be different
- I can’t give you what I need
- I need to focus on myself for a while
- I just want to be alone/single
- You were the best boyfriend/girlfriend I ever had
You should avoid taking your ex’s hopeful phrases seriously and think the dumper will soon come back just because he or she said something hopeful or nice. Dumpers like to use ambiguous, hopeful, and confusing phrases that make them look like they had good intentions and tried their best to make the relationship work. They say positive half-truths to ease their guilt and sense of responsibility.
The more logical their excuses for leaving are and the kinder they appear, the faster their ex will leave them alone and help them forgive themselves.
So if you want to know the meaning behind “I wish you the best,” it means something along the lines of, “Take care, but I don’t care enough to stick around and see what your best looks like. I stuck around while the fun lasted. Now that the fun is over, I must focus on living my best life. And my best life (at least for now) includes not talking to you and being reminded of you.”
In today’s post, we discuss why your ex wished you the best, what it means, and how you should respond to it.
I wish you the best meaning
Many dumpers use this line. It seems to be the quickest way for them to push their ex away and show respect and fake care. They don’t have to lie and pretend they want to be friends. They also needn’t risk hurting their ex by saying they don’t want anything to do with their ex.
Fortunately for them, they can just use breakup cliches and rely on them for their breakup problems.
If your ex told you he or she wished you the best while saying goodbye, your ex showed you or wanted to show you that he or she had no hard feelings. The relationship may not have worked out, but your ex still respected you and cared about you. At least that’s what your ex wanted you to think.
The truth was probably somewhere in between. Your ex got affected by the breakup and needed space to focus on him/herself and not feel dragged back into the past. The only way to stay focused on the present was to ask for space. Your ex could do this directly (and risk hurting you) or indirectly by wishing you the best.
Of course, your ex chose the 2nd (indirect) approach and ensured the safest recovery for himself or herself. To you, it probably wasn’t the best way to part ways because it seemed like your ex still had some feelings and care for you. It likely made you wonder why your ex chose those particular words and if there was any chance of getting back together.
In other words, it confused you and made you search for answers.
So if your ex wished you the best or the best of luck, bear in mind that your ex said it for three main reasons.
- To make you feel cared for.
- To avoid bringing a negative reaction out of you.
- To be left alone.
Your ex wanted to leave the breakup behind as quickly as possible and focus on people or things who distracted him or her. Your ex didn’t want you to reach out (all the time) and make it hard for him or her to self-prioritize and feel in control of the breakup. That’s why your ex chose a response that permitted him or her to do multiple things at once.
Your ex avoided feeling guilty and responsible for helping you and strategically moved forward with his or her life.
There’s nothing wrong with wishing an ex well. In fact, it’s a respectable thing to do. More ex-partners should end their relationships cordially. But when dumpers wish their ex the best just to let him or her know they’re not open to conversation, it’s not just a conversation-ender. It’s a cowardly way of telling a person they lost feelings for that they want to be left alone.
Dumpers often sneak in hidden messages at the end of the conversation (during goodbyes). They end the conversation in such a way that the dumpee feels shooed away and dissuaded from asking for clarifications.
They say things like:
- I wish you the best
- Take care and best of luck
- I want the best for you
- You deserve better
- Find someone who loves you for you
I’m not saying your ex doesn’t wish you success, happiness, and all the good things in life. Your ex just doesn’t want to stick around and watch you find the happiness you deserve. Your ex would rather cut off the past and start a new chapter of his or her life. A chapter in which you both pursue happiness individually.
Your ex has run out of energy to invest in you and fulfill your expectations. He or she probably has a victim mentality and expects you to take care of your own problems, deeds, and desires. It’s hard for your ex to treat you like a friend when he or she has negative perceptions of you and things he or she would rather do.
So keep in mind that “I wish you the best” after a breakup means the same thing as “I wish you the best but I’m not going to do anything about it. You’re in charge of your happiness and success while I focus on getting space and enjoying my life.”
Currently, your ex doesn’t think he or she can be happy if you converse and trigger his or her unwanted feelings and reminders of the past.
Having said that, here’s the definition of “I wish you the best” after a breakup.
We could say your ex wished you the best to get out of the conversation and avoid talking to you in the future. Your ex hoped that by ending things politely, you’d understand his or her wish not to engage in conversation and focus on your own life.
Now that your ex is single, he or she expects to be left alone so your ex can live the kind of life he or she wants to live.
How to respond to an ex saying “I wish you the best?”
Usually, wishing your ex the best back is the best thing to do. It’s a quick, expectationless response that acknowledges and respects your ex’s wish to go his or her own way. That’s because it reduces your ex’s fear of you doing something he or she doesn’t like and lets your ex move forward with a clear conscience.
Saying “I wish you the best” back is a safe mirrored response that won’t make things difficult for your ex. It will likely make your ex respect you more for being okay with ceasing contact and focusing on people who want to stay in your life and help you reach your goals.
So don’t waste too much time thinking about the perfect response to your ex’s “I wish you the best.” As far as I’m concerned, there is no perfect response. But the closest response to it includes copying your ex’s words and saying them back to your ex. Add “too” at the end to make it look more respectful and leave it at that.
The conversation will probably end after that and stay over for a while.
Your ex will likely reach out when he or she has had enough space and time to process things. It could take many months or even years. But for now, you should expect your ex to enjoy space and obsess over other things and people. Your ex won’t feel nostalgic about you as long as he or she feels empowered by the breakup and enjoys life.
Dumpers become nostalgic (months into the breakup) when things go wrong. That’s when they think about their decisions and actions and miss the life they left behind.
Anyway, don’t call your ex out on not wanting to speak. As difficult as it may be, try to understand your ex’s reasons for feeling relieved and wanting to focus on his or her post-breakup life. Even if you badly miss your ex and want your ex back, you must show your ex that you respect his or her decision to leave and that you won’t try to change your ex’s mind.
If you portray yourself as a strong, understanding, and confident individual, your ex will respect you, think about you, and want to talk to you more than if you guilt-trip your ex and try to manipulate your ex into feeling something for you.
When your ex wants space, it’s impossible to change his or her mind.
Any attempts to avoid staying broken up will only make things worse. They’ll tell your ex you don’t value his or her opinion and feelings and that you only want what you want. That will make your ex lose all remaining attraction and cause your ex to reject you again.
No matter who wishes you the best, wish them the best back. But when they’re out of your life, keep them out of it. Don’t let them breadcrumb you, confuse you, and make your life difficult. It’s difficult enough as it is. You don’t need them to talk to you and wish you the best. If they could give you the best, they wouldn’t have left and asked for space.
They would have stayed with you or returned shortly after leaving to fix the trust they broke.
It’s important to understand the meaning of “I wish you the best.” When you understand it, you’ll know that the best thing to do is to play your ex’s game and wish your ex a happy life back. Once you’ve exchanged wishes, it’s time to go indefinite no contact. No contact will help you stop analyzing your ex’s words and encourage you to detach and find happiness outside of the relationship with your ex.
It will show you that your ex’s abandonment doesn’t define you and that you don’t need your ex’s insincere wishes.
To recover and be happy, you’ll need to understand that “I wish you” after a breakup doesn’t indicate regret and that you need to forget your ex’s nice words and deeds. You’ll need to focus on your new life and avoid thinking your ex still wants you back.
When you accept the breakup and see your purpose in life, you’ll live for yourself and open your heart up to someone who wants to share their life with you and strive toward common goals.
I hope you’ve learned what “I wish you the best” means after a breakup. If you’d like to share your own opinion or story, post it in the comments section below. We love hearing from you.
And if you want to talk about your breakup privately via email, text, or phone, check out our coaching options here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
