I Have A Boyfriend But I Like Someone Else And He Likes Me

Do you have a boyfriend but you like someone else? Are you thinking of leaving your boyfriend for the new guy?

Before you leave, know that you’ve developed feelings for another person because you’ve focused on your boyfriend’s negative traits and compared them to the new guy’s most attractive ones.

You may not have done that intentionally, but due to a lack of self-understanding and constant comparisons, you detached from your boyfriend and attached to a person who portrays himself in better (possibly more confident) light.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that the new person is a better dating option and that you should try your luck with him. All it means is that you’ve taken your focus off your boyfriend and that you’ve put it on a person who’s new and fun to talk to.

Please bear in mind that fun with this person won’t last forever. At some point, you’ll get through the infatuation phase with this guy and start to feel a lot less excited to talk to him. You’ll still like him probably, but you’ll no longer think he’s much better than your current boyfriend.

Not unless you paint a negative picture of your boyfriend and begin to feel smothered by the new perception of him.

So if you have a boyfriend but you like someone else who also likes you, figure out why you feel so pulled toward this new person. Is it because you’ve put your boyfriend on the side and took an interest in the new guy? Or is it because your relationship’s been on life support for months or years?

If it’s the former – because you neglected your relationship with your boyfriend and prioritized the new guy, your feelings for the new guy have nothing to do with how good the new guy is. It’s got everything to do with your lack of commitment and the inability to pull away when another guy takes an interest in you.

But if your relationship’s been dead for a while because neither you nor your ex has put the work in to revive it, your relationship fell apart because you stopped taking care of it.

You took each other for granted and allowed yourselves to enjoy other peoples’ attention.

It’s important to learn why you like another guy when you’re already in a committed relationship with your boyfriend. When you learn the truth, you’ll have a very important decision to make.

You’ll have to decide if you should leave your boyfriend and be single for a while or if you should fight your temptations and focus on falling back in love with your boyfriend.

In this post, we’ll talk about what to do if you have a boyfriend but like someone else.

Is it normal to fancy someone else while in a relationship?

Since you’re human and have certain wants, needs, likes, and preferences, it’s normal to feel attracted to other people while you’re in a relationship.

But it’s definitely not normal or rather, not okay to romantically or sexually desire another person and fantasize about being with him or her.

This kind of uncontrolled thinking can lead to a loss of attraction in a romantic relationship and oftentimes even cheating. So as far as normality goes, fancying someone else in a romantic relationship is wrong.

It’s wrong because it’s:

1. Unethical
2. Disrespectful to your partner
3. And dangerous for your relationship

Some people fancy another person while in a relationship and stay committed while others lose themselves and become unfaithful. People’s loyalty strongly depends on their virtues, emotional strength, and most of all, maturity.

Here are 6 types of people in a committed relationship who find others romantically or sexually attractive.

I wish more people would become aware of their feelings and not get distracted when someone new comes along. But I suppose some people just aren’t ready for a long-lasting relationship.

Some seem to think that their feelings are their own entity and that they can’t help who they fall in love with.

What such people don’t know is that they had an opportunity to make things right soon after meeting another person. In fact, they had many opportunities (warnings) to back away from the new person when their feelings were still raw, but they blew it.

Instead of pondering about their temptations and understanding that they’re emotionally investing in another person (cheating on their partner), they chose to ignore those warnings and continued to bond with the new person.

This, as a result, caused them to distance themselves from their partner and made space in their heart for a new person to fill it.

I don’t know what your relationship with your boyfriend is like, but I do know that he doesn’t deserve to get cheated on. He doesn’t need to suffer just because you lost romantic respect for him and fell for someone else.

What he deserves is respect – loyalty. You need to give it to him because that’s what you signed up for when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

I have a boyfriend but I like someone else more. Should I leave my boyfriend?

If you have a boyfriend and you like someone else who also likes you, you shouldn’t leave your boyfriend for this new guy. Replacing him with a new guy won’t fix the personal issues that you neglected throughout your relationship.

If anything, it will leave them as they are, define you as a cheater with poor morals and inadequate self-control, and cause your boyfriend killer separation anxiety, fears, and possibly even trust issues.

If you feel tempted to monkey-branch into another guy’s arms without properly ending your current relationship and addressing your issues, try to understand that you’ll be starting a new relationship on cheating terms.

You’ll get involved with a new person a day or days after sleeping in the same bed with your boyfriend and betray your boyfriend in the worst way imaginable.

It won’t be fair to your boyfriend. It won’t be fair to the new guy and to yourself either.

So don’t do it. Don’t do something so egocentric and self-destructive because you won’t do anyone a service.

I get that you’re in love and that you think you have a lot in common with the new person (most lovestruck people think that they do).

But if you think he’s that good, put him through a little test. Tell him that you’re already in a relationship and convey to him that you have moral standards. Mention to the guy that you don’t want to cheat on your boyfriend with him out of respect for yourself and everyone involved.

This should send the new person a strong message that he shouldn’t have pursued a woman in a relationship and that he should back off.

If he understands your concerns and respects your relationship, he’ll stop seeking your attention, back off immediately, and give your relationship room to breathe. But if he’s selfish and doesn’t care that he’s putting a strain on your relationship, he’ll guilt trip you and/or continue to pursue you and confuse you.

This should tell you that he’s not a person of high value because he’s only looking out for himself.

If you respect yourself and wish the very best for everyone, leaving your partner for another person isn’t something you want on your dating record. If you have/want/ children, you don’t want your kids to know that you condone cheating.

You want to set a good example for them and teach them to respect themselves as well as others.

I know this can be upsetting to read if you want to leave your boyfriend for another guy, but feeling guilt is good. Guilt means that rationally, you understand that you shouldn’t monkey-branch and that you have to beat your temptations to stay in control of your emotions.

What to do if you like someone else when you have a boyfriend?

Everyone knows the answer to this question, but most people are so deep in that they don’t do anything about it. They don’t distance themselves from the new person because:

1. They’re extremely attached to him
2. They don’t want to lose him
3. They don’t want to stop feeling elated (in love)

It’s unfortunate that many people reading this will end up listening to their hearts or to their friends and leave their partner, but that’s how people in love are. It’s difficult to talk them out of “following their hearts” because they aren’t in a rationalizing state of mind.

They’re acting on emotions and cravings rather than logic and morals.

Perhaps you’re not an emotion-driven person and have self-control. Maybe you emotionally and rationally comprehend that leaving your boyfriend for someone you barely know is absurd.

I don’t know what you think and what you’ll do. But if you stop bonding with the new guy, you’ll probably regain control of your emotions and appreciate not dumping your boyfriend for someone else months or years down the line.

Do you want to stay with your boyfriend or be single?

If you have a boyfriend but like someone else, you should take the new person out of the equation because you don’t know the new person intimately. You don’t know how he thinks and behaves during conflicts and difficult situations.

You only know his best side (when he’s infatuated with you).

Of course, you could take a gamble on this person and hope that he’s better than your boyfriend, but leaving your boyfriend for him would still be incredibly impulsive and inconsiderate of your boyfriend’s feelings.

It would also be a breach of your moral codes (if you have them) and make you a cheater in everyone’s eyes.

So if you’re deciding between your boyfriend and being single, push the new guy away for a month or two (or forever). You won’t be able to make a prudent rational decision unless you get rid of the biggest distraction in your life.

Since your relationship with this new person is fresh, ending your relationship with him shouldn’t be very difficult. It shouldn’t make you anxious and hurt you because you haven’t become a couple yet.

You’re on friends with benefits level.

How to tell a guy to respect your relationship?

If you decide to give your boyfriend a proper chance, tell the new guy that you need a month or two to yourself. Tell him that you started to feel confused about your boyfriend ever since he came along and that you need to end your emotional affair.

You don’t need to worry about hurting the guy’s feelings and beat around the bush because of it. He can take it. And if he can’t, it’s not something you should stress about because he knew all along that you were in a relationship.

So gather your strength and be direct. He may feel hurt and/or disappointed by your decision, but he needs to know his place.

He needs to know that he’s part of the reason you stopped appreciating your boyfriend. The other reason probably has something to do with your lack of gratitude and the inability to resist temptations.

After you’ve told the new guy to respect you, deliver the news to your boyfriend as well.

Inform him about your affair and tell him whether you want to be with him or break up with him. Whatever you decide, make sure to stick with your decision so that your boyfriend can begin his long healing process.

You don’t want to string your boyfriend along for weeks and leave him in the end. Your boyfriend deserves 100% of your commitment or none of your commitment at all.

Remember that.

Also remember that if you need more than a day to decide if you want to be with your boyfriend that he’s probably not the right person for you.

At least not right now with your current relationship mentality. You first need to rewire your thinking patterns.

So if you have a boyfriend but you like someone else who also likes you, get some space from the new person regardless of whether you want to be with your boyfriend or not.

Always do the right thing because you won’t be able to undo the cheating.

You may be able to apologize and relieve guilt, but the stigma of a cheater will most likely remain with you for a very long time.

I hope you exercise good judgment. Let me know if you have a boyfriend but you like or love someone else.

Moreover, if you’re looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click here to see our coaching plans.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.