I Broke Up With Him And He Said Ok

If you broke up with your boyfriend and your boyfriend dispassionately said “okay,” you shouldn’t be too surprised by his response.

Your boyfriend probably sensed that the relationship was approaching its final hours and prepared himself for the tragedy ahead. Either that or he’d been through a breakup before and had already learned how to handle romantic rejections like a pro.

No matter what your ex-boyfriend’s reason for instantly accepting the breakup is, his response shouldn’t matter to you at all. Remember that you’ve decided to break up with him because you fell out of love with him and wanted to be single or with someone else.

You wanted something else, so don’t fixate on his ability to accept the breakup. Don’t worry about whether he’s been seeing other women behind your back either.

As far as you know, you broke up with him for the things he did or didn’t do prior to the breakup, and not the things after. So don’t look for answers now that the relationship is over.

It’s too late for that because you already got your closure when you convinced yourself that he wasn’t the right man for you.

Your ex, on the other hand, may or may not have gotten his. I can’t speak for him, but I can say that he had every right to accept the breakup on the spot.

A simple “ok” may not have been the nicest response or the response you were looking for, but it’s still a much more respectful reply than if he were to beg and plead with you to take him back.

Begging and talking to you would probably have annoyed you and made you feel trapped. So give your ex-boyfriend some credit and admit to yourself that his composure is worthy of respect.

Don’t get offended by his answer because the fact that he chose to walk away doesn’t mean that he didn’t respect you, love you, or care about you as a person. All it means is that he knew he didn’t have much of a choice but to accept your decision and walk away.

This is something all men and women should do after the breakup. They should accept the breakup right away, ask questions if they need to, and initiate no contact so they can heal.

Luckily, your ex didn’t need to ask questions. He felt comfortable in his own skin, so he replied nonchalantly and started moving on immediately.

So if you broke up with your boyfriend and he said “okay, fine, I understand,” or anything along those lines, don’t contact him and ask him to tell you why he accepted the breakup so quickly.

Instead, be happy that he gave you what you asked for and leave him alone so that you can both move on peacefully.

In this post, we’ll talk about various reasons why your boyfriend immediately accepted the breakup.

I broke up with him and he said ok

Why did he say “okay” when I broke up with him?

First of all, it takes emotional strength to say “okay” to a person who breaks up with you. Breakups take people by surprise, so not everyone can agree with the breakup on the spot.

Most people are in denial and find it difficult to cope with rejection.

Your ex-boyfriend, on the other hand, wasn’t one of those people. He had pride and self-respect and knew that opposing you would make him look weak and desperate, so he avoided throwing himself at your feet.

This doesn’t mean that your ex didn’t care about you though. For him not to care, he’d have to feel extremely repulsed, smothered, and angered by your presence. He’d have to show signs of emotional unavailability and have active plans that didn’t involve you.

So don’t think that your ex didn’t care at all.

If he didn’t care, he probably wouldn’t have stayed with you and waited for you to break up with him. Only people who lack strength and courage wait for their partner to break up with them.

And even they don’t just reply with “ok” and walk away as if the relationship never existed.

Guys who are happy about breaking up talk about their breakup. The very least they do is discuss with their ex-partner whether they’re going to stay in touch or not.

I’m telling you this so that you understand the difference between a person who’s happy to break up and a person who’s not.

With that said, bear in mind that there’s a chance your ex said “ok” to the breakup because of something external. Something out of the relationship that distracted him and made him happy.

Here are 9 reasons why your ex-boyfriend said “okay” when you broke up with him.

I broke up with him and he said okay

If you broke up with a guy and he said ok, you probably already know that he’s not very scared of the breakup. He probably feels a bit worried because he’s still attached to you and doesn’t know what the future holds, but other than that, he knows he’ll be okay.

He was okay before (after his previous breakups) and he knows he’ll be okay this time too.

He didn’t react when I broke up with him

Guys are much better at hiding their emotions than girls. Especially guys who have pride because such guys hate exposing their weaknesses.

They hate crying, apologizing, explaining themselves, and even asking for forgiveness as they wish to keep their vulnerabilities to themselves and their emotions in check.

Prideful guys hide their feelings because they think they must act like men and show no signs of dependency whatsoever.

To them, remaining in control of their emotions matters the most. That’s why they often look stoic and refuse to react to a girl who no longer loves them.

In their minds, reacting equals weakness, so they don’t do it. They’re driven by pride and/or ego and would rather accept the breakup right away than show they need their partner to be happy.

I broke up with my boyfriend and he said ok

So if you’re wondering why your boyfriend didn’t react when you broke up with him, bear in mind that he was afraid of judgment. He didn’t want you, your friends, his friends, and his family to know he’s emotionally dependent on you because that would hurt his male ego, decrease his significance in his eyes, and make it difficult for him to hold himself in high regard.

He didn’t chase me either

Girls think that guys love chasing, but trust me that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Guys who respect themselves find chasing absolutely disgraceful and disrespectful.

They hate it so much they quickly get tired of fighting for a girl’s attention and give up on her completely. They lose respect for her, emotionally check out, and focus on attracting a different fish in the sea.

I can tell you that no guy I ever talked to enjoyed putting himself through self-torture for a girl who abused the push-pull technique, played mind games with him, emasculated him, and made him feel like a fool.

Most guys just don’t let girls do that to them because they have respect for themselves. They know that running after someone who’s not giving them the attention they deserve is a waste of time and energy.

Only insecure guys chase after a girl they like because they’re anxious and think that the girl is of higher value than them.

In reality, she only portrays herself that way but doesn’t actually have the charms, relationship skills, or moral values to attract a guy without hurting him and making him dependent on her.

So get the notion that guys love to chase out of your head. Just how it’s not in girls’ nature to put up with domestic abuse, neither is it in guys’ nature to chase after someone who plays hard to get.

What guys love is a woman who respects herself and others. Such a woman is by definition a high-quality woman in their eyes as she brings tranquility to their lives.

On the other hand, a woman who toys with their feelings and strings men along is the opposite of quality and tranquility. She brings destruction and is of inferior quality as she’s very difficult to trust and settle down with.

She’s too manipulative and self-seeking.

What to do if I broke up with a guy and he said “okay”?

If your ex-boyfriend agreed to go separate ways without reasoning with you, there isn’t much you should do. Tell your ex that you’ll give him time to process the breakup and encourage him to reach out to you if he’s ever having a difficult time with the breakup.

This will convey to him that you truly care about his well-being and that you aren’t going to stay in his life and try to be friends right away.

Although it’s possible for you to be friends, bear in mind that friendship with an ex after the breakup is more often than not impossible for the dumpee. There’s too much tension between the two parties as they both have completely different needs.

While the dumper normally feels the need to self-prioritize, the dumpee feels hurt and desires the connection his or her ex has destroyed.

That’s why it’s probably for the best that you get some space from your ex and let the time do its magic.

Once you’ve both dealt with your own sets of challenges, you might be able to be friends. But until then, wait for the two of you to get used to the post-breakup life and mind your own business.

What to do if I didn’t mean to break up with him but he agreed anyway?

If you wanted to scare (or rather, manipulate) your boyfriend by attacking his mental and emotional processes, you clearly chose the wrong approach. Threatening someone with a breakup is not only immature but it’s also one of the most damaging things you can do to your partner.

This is because each threat or breakup drives a wedge between you and your partner and brings you one step closer to getting used to breaking up.

And when breaking up becomes a pattern, that’s when you’ll take each other for granted, disconnect at the fundamental level, and risk breaking up for good.

So unless you’re 100% certain you want to leave your partner, don’t break up with him. Don’t keep breaking up because sooner than later, someone’s going to get tired of constant separations and meet someone else.

Many (young) couples who lack relationship knowledge keep breaking up and getting back together because they act on their emotions rather than thoughts.

And most of those couples eventually break up for good.

So grow up quickly and change your attitude and behavioral patterns or one of your arguments or temporary breakups will become a permanent breakup.

As for what you should do when you “accidentally” break up with your boyfriend, you own up. You apologize sincerely, say why it was wrong to do what you did, and promise to never, ever again make the same mistake.

Once you’ve said that, all you can do is hope that your ex-boyfriend forgives you and takes you back.

If he takes you back, take my warning seriously and reflect on your behavior. You have a lot of growing to do.

And if he doesn’t, know that he’s run out of love and patience and doesn’t want to risk going through the same unhealthy patterns again. In that case, you’ve become the dumpee and might want to use the indefinite no contact rule to give your ex space.

Did you break up with a guy and he said ok? Did his response make you feel insecure? Post your comment below.

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16 thoughts on “I Broke Up With Him And He Said Ok”

  1. There’s another possibility. He may have been trying to get you to break up with him. Yeah it’s a weenie move (because he lacks the guts to break up like a man) but it happens all the time. I did it once, and I was very happy when she pulled the trigger. Too happy. She immediately figured out what I had done, and that was very hard on her. I’ve since grown up.

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  2. My ex left the day we were supposed to move in together. She accused me of financial infidelity, manipulating her and lying. All this because I was late to pay a bill. She then asked me for a credit report and background check. When she said I was not to move in with her I said “ok” got up walked away and found a place for myself and my two girls. 1 week later she proposed a casual relationship to “get to know me again”. I agreed in the moment and quickly regretted it when we met for dinner and a movie where she belittled me and told me “I have to fight for her and prove myself”. The next day I wrote her an email saying how I felt and that relationship are 50/50. No one should have to prove themselves. I’m not hiding an addiction or a crooked past. Her reply was absolutely harsh, accusing me of never experiencing love. Then proceeded to tell me to never contact her again.

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    • Hi Speeze.

      It’s better that your relationship ended there. She lacked far too much relationship knowledge and maturity to contribute to you in a healthy manner. Now you can heal and find someone who won’t manipulate you like that.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

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      • Thanks Zan. She did a really good job of making me feel guilty when I refused a casual relationship with her afterwards. Accused me of never experiencing real love, that she gave me an opportunity to prove myself. Even went as far as saying that if we were to ever get serious again she’d want to meet my ex wife privately. I felt so belittled afterwards. When I didn’t respond to her text messages the next day she thought I had done something to myself because her mother suffers BPD. I was in shock. When I said I was fine and needed space she told me to never contact her again and removed me from social media took down our pictures and proceeded to block me several days later. I never reached out never begged or bothered her.

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        • Hey Speeze.

          A relationship with her would be very difficult. It’s good it ended there before you got even more attached to her. You only saw a glimpse of what she’s capable of.

          Stay in no contact and heal, Speeze.

          Kind regards,
          Zan

          Reply
  3. Wish I could say okay after he wanted to breakup with me. But because was my first breakup was so emotional. But hey we all have articles of Zan that helps us through the way.

    Thank you Zan 🤍

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      • I generally agree. But when my girlfriend since 10 years broke up with me a week ago, I decided to take a slightly different approach. The day after she told me, we told the children about the break up and it was very sad and emotional. (Personally, i’m quite devastated, even though i’m normally a confident man 24/7) She d o e s love me and we have a strong connection, but right now she might not be more i n love with me than herself though. She’s 39 and Having a sort of crisis. she also thought we could stay friends if she left the relationship, which i will not accept.

        After the kids went to bed I leaned forward, took her hand and told her my exact point of view: ”i first intended to just respect your decision, but changed my mind. Cause to me it feels wrong to split up. It feels right to be a couple.
        In me, you know you have a fucking supportive lover when you chase your dreams. Without me, they will be more difficult to reach. You know your life will be missing pieces without me. Me? I look forward to building a new relationship with you.

        Yesterday you made your decision and it was the wrong one. Today, you can make a new one, or next week. The r i g h t one! I will leave you with that thought now, and if you feel you are ready to commit to ”us”, you give me a call. It will not be easy for you since commitment is tough! I will not be in a friends-only relationship with you so when you call me, you need to be open to an intimitate relationship. Maybe I’m still available, maybe I’m not, But I will take your call and hear you out.”

        It was more than ”ok”. But I think sometimes a clear declaration is better then ”ok” or ”no contact”. Especially if you’re a man (Sorry for being old school) you need to lean forward and be transparent with your feelings. If they are not received well, you need to step back of course. Like I told her: ”I will only Tell you this once, if you still hold firm to your decision, i will not bother you again… ”

        Her answer? ”wow, that was a lot. why haven’t you said this earlier, like earlier tonight or yesterday… ”

        I will keep you posted on the progress. At least now, the power of the break up came more into my hands. If she wants to take a new contact, the conditions are pre-set. Of course, she might meet with another man and get lost in a new elation, but my best bet is that I will get that call within three months. Maybe i still feel the same at that time… 🙂

        I might be over-confident, But ignorance is after all, bliss?

        Best,

        Patrick

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        • Hi Patrick.

          You replied very maturely, but don’t forget that it’s possible you only temporarily inspired your ex. Most dumpers’ opinion is very hard to change because they’ve spent days or weeks preparing to leave.

          I wish you the best of luck. Please let me know how it goes.

          Zan

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        • When a Dumper mind is made up, it is made up!!! I was in this shoe when i talked her out of it like accepting her break up, in the end, eventually, SHE BROKE UP AND BREAK MY HEART INTO PIECES. AM just pulling myself back up now…

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        • Very commendable effort but before you get excited over taking your power back, make sure she hasn’t already been cheating behind your back first, which is often the case 9.9/10 times even if you thought she was the Virgin Mary during your relationship and “could never possibly do something like that”.

          Most women don’t just leave. The “I need space” is a polite way of telling you, I’m fucking someone else or I plan to as soon as I’m done breaking up with you. Someone else got to her emotions enough for her to want to walk away. Don’t believe for a second that she is leaving to find or work on herself or whatever other bullshit she may have spewed out. Most women never work on themselves because they feel “victimized”. They tend to quickly forget and absolve their role in any problem and miraculously, somehow their “communication” skills go out the window. The only thing they genuinely work on after they leave, is another man’s dick. Not believing or accepting that is naive and in case you’re wondering, her age is 100% irrelevant. That’s just how women are programmed. The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be in handling ALL of them going forward IMO.

          So, if you are able to confirm that this is what truly happened, then she honestly did you and your kids a favour (even though it hurts in the beginning). Kill her in your head and never look back. That’s how you take your power back. That’s how a high value man with options behaves. If you take back a cheater, then YOU are the fool and no one will respect you, no matter what they say to your face – starting with her.

          My 2 cents.. hope it helps.

          As always, great article, Zan.

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          • DK
            You seem still very bitter and hurt. My suggestion is to process that anger into something positive. Not everyone out there is going to hurt you. There are wonderful things in life waiting for you, but your energy is very negative. You attract what you project. Life is too short to still hold on to the past. We’ve all been through painful breakups (That is why we’re on this site) but with time we should all heal and move on to find someone who loves us more than that person who hurt us ever could. Good luck!

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            • Thanks for your concern, Nicole, but I assure you, you are wrong. Very wrong.

              I simply call things as they are and female nature is what it is. Yes, you may have the odd exception here and there but generally speaking, it is what it is. The sooner men understand and accept this, the better it is for them moving forward.

              Knowing what I know now, my life couldn’t be better and my nights are way more fulfilling 😉

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          • Stats state that most breakups are provoked by female partners. You can never do right, most of the time everyone will try and tell you to stick it in breaks or space. You can be friends with an ex partner, blah, blah. Space helps those avoid the inevitable and become lies in the making. Breaks allow the lies to become truth. Friendship does a disservice to the integrity of what the relationship was. Don’t fall for any of it. If someone isn’t reciprocating, communicating or committing. Well, they don’t know if they love you or someone else. Yes, it hurts, though remember this. Most individuals are not out to be honest, they become bored and start validating or valuing others more. Don’t give them the chance to see if the grass is greener m

            Reply

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