How To Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back When She Is Seeing Someone Else?

When your ex-girlfriend starts seeing someone else, she’s infatuated with the new person and determined he’s the right partner for her. She wants to get to know the guy better and obtain all his attention, validation, and love.

Because things are new, she’s not thinking about leaving him and running back to you. She’s thinking about ways to get closer to him and keep distancing herself from you. The further away she gets from you, the less guilty she feels for leaving and chasing her own goals.

Since she’s seeing someone else and showing no signs of stopping, it’s evident that she can’t be brought back right now. She’s too invested in the new guy to allow herself to be “stolen away from him” and be given everything she wants from someone else.

This isn’t a competition. It’s not about what you can give her that the new person can’t. It’s about her willingness and ability to process the separation and let go of the negativity that had accumulated toward the end of the relationship.

Since she hasn’t reflected and grown yet, you can safely assume that she currently feels no desire or need to see you in a better light.

She’s happy with the turn of events and wants you to respect her choices even if her partner isn’t a good romantic option for her. The girl wants to find out what he’s like and whether she’s made the right decision of her own. She doesn’t want you to meddle because she doesn’t value your opinion anymore.

She stopped caring about what you feel and want when she left the relationship.

So if you want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else, know that you can’t talk to your ex or do something nice for her that would bring her back. Your ex has made up her mind about you and the new person. She’ll keep thinking the way she does until her partner shows her his true colors and stops making her feel like she’s on top of the world.

Your ex needs to be dethroned before she can reflect on her actions and decision to leave. This means she has to encounter some kind of issue she didn’t think she’d encounter. This issue needs to be powerful enough to force her to see reality for what it is and make her question her decision and happiness.

If you try to get your ex-girlfriend back directly by being her friend, sending her flowers, gifts, and letters, and supporting her emotionally, your ex will either friend zone you (lose respect and attraction for you) or get annoyed with you and tell you to leave her and her new boyfriend alone.

As a dumpee, you don’t want to find out what your ex will do if you stay close to her and bother her when she’s seeing someone else. Her decisions and actions will likely hurt you and make you even more desperate for her affection and recognition. They’ll hurt you so badly that you’ll feel tempted to beg and plead and make even more breakup mistakes.

More mistakes that affect your self-esteem and lower your chances of being with your ex.

To get your ex-girlfriend back, you must give up on reattracting her with direct methods such as talking to her and proving you can be the right person for her. Remember that your ex has detached and that no amount of reasoning will dissuade her from moving on and enjoying her independence.

Retraction requires respect and space. Your ex needs to think you’re moving on so that she can feel a sense of loss and urgency and get back with you before you find someone else to date.

Now that she’s dating someone else, she isn’t afraid and is in no hurry to return to you. She’s perfectly fine with the way things are. If you tell her her intuition is wrong, you’ll guilt-trip and smother her and risk seeing a side of her you hadn’t seen before.

I urge you not to act on your emotions. Instead of telling her what you think is best for her, let her find out on her own. Let her date other people and do things that aren’t the healthiest for her.

If she fails and discovers the new person can’t make her happy, she could become nostalgic, engage in reflection, and remember that you used to make her happy. This could trigger regret and a desire for validation and cause her to run back to you as quickly as possible.

Healthy reconciliations don’t involve any convincing. They’re based on space, understanding, and respect. If you need to convince someone to be with you, that person doesn’t deserve you and will probably leave you when he or she stops pitying you.

The dumper has to want you back on her own. It has to be her idea to reconcile otherwise she could come back for the wrong reasons, give you hope, and break your heart again. She could make you feel naive for taking her back and trusting her with your feelings.

In this post, we discuss how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else. We explain why staying in touch as friends is a bad idea and how you should deal with her dating a new person.

How to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else?

Getting your ex-girlfriend back when she’s seeing someone else won’t be a quick and easy process. There’s no guarantee that you’ll get her back even if you do everything right because it’s impossible to predict how successful she’ll be with the new guy and in life in general and how she’ll react when things go south.

Some exes immediately move on to the next person. Instead of stopping and reflecting, they jump straight into a relationship with another guy and get serious with him. Whether they have fears of being alone or just don’t know how to be alone, they have an abundance mentality and think there’s plenty of fish in the sea.

Such people don’t suffer much after the breakup. They may be afraid of having no one by their side, but because they quickly find someone new to date, they tend to make very few personal improvements. As a result, they develop a pattern of finding someone new after breaking up instead of asking themselves what they can change about themselves.

So if you’re wondering how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else, remember that you won’t get her back if she lacks self-awareness and the ability to reflect and value the relationship. You can be nice to her or conversely, give her all the space she needs, but she still won’t see you as a valuable partner.

You can get back together with an ex (and stay with her) only if she understands how she contributed to the breakup and why she needs to take responsibility and evolve. Your ex basically needs to be capable of understanding and admitting her mistakes and wanting to fix them.

If she wants to fix them, chances are she’ll realize you weren’t entirely to blame for the breakup and that she lost certain perks, benefits, and privileges by abandoning the relationship.

You can’t be around while your ex is working on herself and figuring out what she’s lost by leaving you. She has to figure that out on her own. That’s the best way for her to see that you’re not chasing her and that you’re doing okay without her.

Of course, she could come back even if you settle for friendship. But the chances of that happening are much smaller. Not only are they smaller, but your ex’s behavior and lack of affection could also confuse and hurt you. As long as you have expectations of your ex, you should be nowhere near her.

She should be kept at a reasonable distance and left to her own devices. Friendship will only give her benefits without commitment and string you along for ages.

Also, keep in mind that there will be no “getting her back” on your terms. The girl has to come to you (not you to her). Hence, you have to alter the belief that she’s a damsel in distress and that you’re coming to save her from a bad decision.

Always remember that she wasn’t manipulated into breaking up with you and being with someone else. She made the decision to be with him herself. She now needs to make the decision to leave him and monkey-branch back to you herself as well.

And she can do that only if she’s not happy with her new relationship and convinces herself that she was happier with you.

Again, it’s not your place to tell her how she felt when she was with you. If you tell her this while she’s still in love with the new guy, the conversation won’t go very well, to say the least. She will likely tell you to mind your own business and leave her alone to do what she wants.

Never meddle with your ex’s new relationship. If you don’t want her to dislike or resent you, let her be in charge of her life. She has to feel in control or she’ll get annoyed and take her frustration out on you. She’ll tell you you were a terrible boyfriend and that she’s much happier now.

Getting your ex-girlfriend back from another guy will require a ton of patience. You’ll have to change your tactics from getting her back to her coming back of her own volition. This means you’ll have to recognize and accept your lack of power and let her come to you when or if she’s ready.

She might not be capable of coming back, but that’s okay. At least you’ll keep your dignity and pride and avoid embarrassing yourself.

So if you want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else, don’t suddenly start reaching out and showing her you can fulfill all her wants and needs. Don’t do anything that shows you disagree with her decisions and that you want to make her yours again.

Instead, show her you respect her decisions and feelings and go no contact. Drop off the radar and indirectly show her she’s not worth crying over and fighting for. You only fight for people who know your worth, fear losing you, and want to be with you.

No contact will be hard to follow when you’re scared she’ll have a better relationship with the new guy and that they’ll get married and have kids. Despite that, try not to panic. Whether they get married and have kids doesn’t depend on what you want and do. It depends on their compatibility, desires, personalities, and goals.

Besides, even if they get married, that doesn’t mean they’ll stay together forever (many couples divorce these days). But it does mean they have feelings for each other and want to stay together long-term. They have plans and want to see those plans come to fruition.

This is perfectly normal! People date to progress in life and reach certain goals. Some want to get married and have kids whereas others want to travel and avoid serious responsibilities. No matter what your ex and her partner want, remember that they’re moving at their own pace and that it wouldn’t be strange if some of their goals and behaviors were to change.

Partners influence each other. They make each other do and want things they previously didn’t. That indicates they value each other’s feelings. opinions, and goals—and want to help each other reach them.

It’s in your best interest to let them date each other and strive toward their goals. You’d want the same if you were with your partner and someone was trying to persuade her to get back together. You’d find that person extremely rude and desperate to reconcile with your partner.

So if you want your ex to come back, step back from your ex and let their relationship breathe. If they realize they have a lot in common, they will stay together no matter how badly you want to change her mind. Your words and actions won’t have a positive effect on her because she’ll think negatively about you and positively about her partner.

They might even team up against you and make fun of you.

No woman is worth chasing. It doesn’t matter if you cheated on her or did something to make her leave you. If she chose to move forward with someone else, she needs to end that relationship before she can consider going back to you. She needs to fail with him and start thinking about her backup options (exes who could help her feel and live better).

Therefore, getting back with an ex-girlfriend when she is seeing someone else won’t happen on your terms. But it could happen when her relationship has ended or is about to end. That’s when she could contact you and try to confide in you about her problems and feelings.

If you don’t want to ruin your image, you must wait patiently during no contact and let your ex discover your romantic potential on her own.

Don’t jump the gun and try to manipulate your ex to give you another chance. It’s extremely unlikely that she’ll listen to you and do what you want her to do. Your ex will most likely get angry and push you away by force.

With that said, here are my tips on how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else.

The number 1 reason dumpers come back is that they can’t get what they’re looking for elsewhere. They try to be happy on their own or with someone else, but because they can’t make their expectations come true, they reach out to their ex and hope their ex will help them.

If their ex helps them (takes them back), they feel accepted and reassured and don’t need to grieve their losses. They can skip them or numb their pain by confiding in a person who wants them and knows them romantically.

When will my ex-girlfriend come back?

First of all, your ex-girlfriend’s new partner isn’t a rebound. If he was, their relationship wouldn’t last very long. It’d probably end within a few months of dating. Most rebounds end a few weeks into the relationship because couples become exclusive for the wrong reasons and fail to develop love.

They learn they feel confused and that they aren’t ready to be in a committed relationship.

What you’re dealing with is a normal relationship. They’re dating because they find each other attractive. How developed and prepared they are to be together long-term, on the other hand, is a completely different question. I suppose you’ll find out when/if they break up.

You might receive a breadcrumb from your ex when that happens.

Anyway, it could take your ex a long time to want you back. It’s impossible to predict when that might happen because I don’t know your ex (her behaviors and patterns of returning to exes), but you shouldn’t expect her to come back while she’s still obsessed with the new guy.

You should expect their relationship to work nearly perfectly for a while. Most new couples live in Lalaland for a month or two before they start noticing each other’s negative points. It takes them a few months after that to experience issues and decide if they want to stay together.

So bear in mind that your ex-girlfriend will come back when she’s ready to come back. This could be after she’s gotten to know her boyfriend and failed with him or much later when she’s dated multiple people and seen that the grass is greener where you water it.

Most dumpers need to experience other relationships to see the harsh realities of life and learn that they’re not perfect. That’s when they consider running back to an ex they took for granted and dumped (possibly for someone else).

So how long after a breakup can you expect your ex to come back? This varies for each person, but expect her to come back when she fails with other people and sees that she is partially or fully responsible for breaking up. That’s when she’ll go from 0 – 100 in no time and try to win you back right away.

Until then, let no contact preserve your worth and help you improve parts of your life that need improving.

What do you think? How to get your ex-girlfriend back when she is seeing someone else? Comment below and let us know.

And as always, if you want to talk to us about how to reconcile with an ex, check out our coaching options on this link.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.