How To Get Your Ex Back When He Has Moved On With Someone Else?

Getting your ex back when he’s moved on with someone else requires much more than patience and the right words. It requires an understanding of breakups and dumpers’ behaviors and a lot of time for the new relationship to fail.

Dumpers need to hit a dead end with their relationship and realize they won’t be happy with their partner or on their own. They need to compare their partner (or their happiness with their partner) to you and crave validation, love, and support directly from you.

If they encounter big problems and think about you long and positively enough, there’s a chance that they’ll miss you and redevelop romantic feelings, cravings, and expectations.

You must understand that you can’t get your ex back by force. You can’t do it whether your ex is single or in a new relationship. Your ex has to want you back on his own. And your ex can want you back only if you give him the space and time to explore other romantic and non-romantic options.

Something bad usually has to transpire. Something that tells your ex he undervalued you, undervalued himself, and thought he could be happier without you. Another breakup or a new rejection could change your ex’s thinking.

So could stressful things such as work, family issues, and health problems.

It doesn’t matter what happens as long as your ex gets hurt and realizes he wasn’t as hurt and miserable when he was with you. Pain could incentivize him to engage in reflection and change your importance in his eyes.

So how to get your ex back when he has moved on with someone else?

You can try to get back together by not acting on urges to feel loved and competing with your ex’s new partner. You must not interact with your ex and try to prove you’re a better match for him. Instead of revealing your insecurities and making your ex feel strange and repulsed, you must keep your distance and preserve your value.

Distance won’t make your ex want to be with you when he’s with someone else, but neither will closeness. Closeness will just tell him that you’re scared of letting go and that you have feelings and expectations of him. This will make your ex feel guilty and/or overwhelmed and reduce your worth in his eyes.

To get your ex back when he has dumped you and moved on with someone else, you must understand that he’s the dumper. He’s in charge of the breakup and the relationships he has after you. If he wants to be with his new partner, you don’t have the right or the power to do anything about it.

You can’t and mustn’t try to present yourself as a better person and manipulate your ex into dumping his partner for you. Not only would that encourage your ex to cheat and monkey-branch, but you’d also have to live with it.

Fortunately, you don’t have to convince your ex to abandon his partner for you. You have to choose a different reconciliation method. You may not like it, but it’s all you’ve got now that he’s not interested in being with you.

This method is called no contact. You must learn to accept your powerlessness and lack of influence in your ex’s life. When you come to terms with it, you’ll give your ex enough space to focus on his new relationship and gain his respect and interest.

You won’t give your ex any other reasons to dislike you and be glad he dumped you.

Things are a lot simpler if you were the dumper. If you left your ex and noticed that he moved on with someone else, all you have to do is apologize for leaving and ask for another chance. If it took you long before you discovered your ex’s worth and let your ex detach from you, it may be too late to get back with your ex.

Your ex may have found someone he’s happy with and wants to move on with.

If your ex has moved on and changed his opinion of you, you need to accept your ex’s decision and leave your ex alone. You had your chance with your ex but didn’t value it enough. You weren’t happy, so figure out why you weren’t and what’s changed.

If things go wrong in your ex’s new relationship or personal life, your ex might still contact you to see if you’re open to getting back together. But for now, you need to respect your ex’s relationship and focus on your own happiness and life. Focus on things you can control and do something about.

That way, you’ll have an easier time accepting that your ex is getting to know someone else and that he’s happier with someone other than you.

In today’s article, we shed some light on how to get your ex back when he has moved on with someone else. We discuss your options as a dumpee and a dumper.

How to get your dumpee ex back when he has moved on with someone else?

Many dumpees aren’t in love with their partner. Many of them date someone new just to feel loved and needed. Because they date someone new just to replace their ex and feel better, they tend to rebound with the new person (especially if they jump into a new relationship soon after breaking up).

They realize the new person isn’t their ex and that they can’t connect with him or her as well as they did with their ex.

This eventually leads to a breakup and a huge emotional setback.

If your dumpee ex still has feelings for you, getting your ex back will be a very straightforward process. All you’ll have to do is determine that you truly love your ex, regret dumping your ex, and want your ex back. When you’re certain your ex is the right person for you and that you’ve made a huge mistake, you can contact your ex even if your ex is with someone else.

You can say you regret leaving and causing pain and express the desire to get back together and work on the relationship.

If your ex loves you, your ex will be thrilled to hear that. He’ll be excited to hear that you still love him and want to give the relationship another go. But if your ex doesn’t love you anymore and wants to continue his new relationship, your ex will reject you or ignore you.

Both responses will tell you that he’s in love with someone else and that you must respect your ex’s decision not to be with you.

If your ex doesn’t want to be with you after you’ve left him, you shouldn’t say or do anything to change your ex’s mind. Your ex won’t like your perseverance when he’s with someone else and looking forward to a future with the new person.

Your ex expected you to fight for the relationship when you were still together. If you’re no longer together and in love, your ex expects the opposite. He expects you to avoid contacting him and pestering him about getting back together.

Not only is your ex with someone else, but your ex has also detached and fallen out of love.

You’ll gain your ex’s respect only if you understand that the roles have changed and that your ex is now the dumper. He’s the one who doesn’t want you back and needs time to self-prioritize and enjoy his new relationship. You mustn’t reason with a dumper who doesn’t want you back.

He went through a lot of pain to let go of you and start anew with someone else.

If you want to be with an ex you left, all you can do is tell your ex your regrets and feelings once. If your ex loves you but is unsure about you, he’ll ask you to prove your feelings and commitment and give him a reason to leave his partner for you.

But if he’s certain he’s happy with his new partner, he’ll appear detached and push you away to protect himself. He’ll act like a typical space-deprived dumper.

Pay attention to how he reacts so you can reconcile or give him space.

How to get your dumper ex back when he has moved on with someone else?

If your ex has moved on with someone else, you shouldn’t tell your ex you still have feelings for him. Feelings will pressure your ex and tempt him to avoid you and block you out of his life.

You must remember that your ex already knows you have feelings for him. He dumped you when you loved him and saw a future with him. He hasn’t forgotten how you felt about him, so he doesn’t need to hear it from you either.

The problem isn’t that he doesn’t know how you feel but that he doesn’t feel the same way about you. He’s convinced the relationship with you can’t give him what he wants from a romantic partner. He’s also dating someone else, which means his attention is on another person.

He either loves the new person or is infatuated with her. Regardless of how he feels about her, he’s not interested in revisiting the past with you. He’s interested in moving forward with his life and working on the relationship with his new partner.

You can’t change his desires and goals and make him see you as a more valuable partner. The guy has to see your value without your interference. He can do that by experiencing relationship and personal challenges, reflecting on his problems, and indulging in retrospection.

If his relationship is less than a few months old, he’s probably not doing that. He doesn’t see a reason to question his new relationship and doubt his feelings for his partner. The relationship is still too new, so they haven’t encountered any major issues.

They might encounter them after the infatuation phase (3 – 4 months into the relationship). That’s when couples get to know each other and stop putting their best foot forward. They reveal their true colors and break up if they’re unwilling to adapt or change.

So how to get your dumper ex back when he’s moved on with someone else?

There’s nothing you can do directly to redirect your ex’s focus away from his partner and make him realize your importance. But you can give your ex time to encounter problems and fail. If you were a good partner and your ex left because of GIGS and his unsolved problems, your ex could realize the breakup was his fault when old problems resurface.

Your ex could break up with his partner and run back to you for safety, reassurance, and purpose. You need to be patient and keep in mind that dumpers come back on their own rather than with the help of their ex. They return when their primary plans fail and urge them to look for backup plans.

As long as your ex is happy with his new partner and is doing okay mentally and emotionally, your ex won’t feel the need to reconnect with you. He’ll think the breakup made him happier and that he made the right decision to leave.

You must accept your ex’s decision and be okay with his happiness. You must wait for something negative to affect his thoughts and feelings. When that happens, your ex might stop feeling relieved and elated and start questioning his decisions and happiness.

I wish you could do something nice for your ex and talk your way back into the relationship, but your words and actions don’t have the power they used to have; especially now that your ex has someone new to date. All you can do now is give your ex the space his new relationship needs to thrive and “hope” that your ex gets into a pickle big enough to reflect on his choices in life.

If your ex encounters a problem he and his partner can’t work through, your ex could reach out to you and ask you to get back together. The chances of that aren’t super high, though, so it’s in your best interest to start letting go of your ex. Start moving on with your life so that you don’t keep checking your phone for texts and calls from your ex every day for the next few years.

You want to be detached and happy on your own. If you’re emotionally independent, you’ll have a much higher chance of reattracting your ex or someone new. That’s because you’ll radiate positivity and be happy with who you are and what you’ve achieved.

Others won’t affect your self-esteem and your purpose in life.

So if you want to know how to get your ex back when he has moved on with someone else, start by getting yourself back. Figure out what you need to be happy and begin working on it immediately. If you make big (internal) changes, you’ll feel and look happy and confident. Your ex could consider you a good backup option when he hits a snag and needs a strong, reliable person to confide in.

Give up on trying to directly make your ex lose interest in the new person and take you back. If you try to change your ex’s mind, your ex will see you don’t respect his feelings and his new relationship. He may even get annoyed, push you away, and do something to hurt you.

Hence, you should accept your powerlessness and let your ex date this new person. Let your ex be happy and focus on becoming happy yourself. If your ex fails, gets his expectations crushed, and experiences pain and a loss of self-esteem, your ex could reach out to you for healing and love.

Be patient and you might hear from your ex when your ex has a reason to talk to you.

You were probably hoping to find a more direct method of reattracting your ex, but did you find the answer you were looking for? Did you learn how to get your ex back when he’s moved on with someone else? Since you were dumped, do you feel tempted to contact your ex and prove your worth to him? Share your thoughts and feelings below the post.

However, if you’d like to talk to a breakup expert about your breakup, reach out to us here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.