Getting over your ex is difficult, but getting over your ex sleeping with someone else is on a completely different level. Not only must you deal with separation anxiety, but you must also find a way to stop comparing yourself to your ex’s new partner and thinking you weren’t good enough. You must ignore your ex’s happiness and convince yourself that your ex’s new partner has nothing to do with who you are and what you’re worth.
It has everything to do with your ex’s desire to move forward and feel desired and validated. Your ex wants to get the most out of life and is choosing to do so by getting involved with someone new. If you ignore this fact and tell yourself that your ex was able to move on quickly because you didn’t leave a positive impression in her life, you’ll only bring yourself unnecessary pain and distress.
You’ll obsess over your ex, your shortcomings, and your mistakes, making this period of your life unproductive and emotionally draining.
Your thoughts won’t just be filled with intrusive memories of your ex but also with self-blame over what you did or didn’t do. In other words, you’ll stay nostalgic, anxious, and regretful and make moving on extremely challenging for yourself.
Although intrusive thoughts may not be completely avoidable, you can do a lot to decrease their amount. You can do this by changing how you think about yourself and your ex. By changing your perception of your ex and yourself, you’ll gradually start holding your ex accountable in your mind and cut yourself some slack.
What you need is to let go of the past and the person you think your ex is or could be. Thinking highly of your ex will only make you think negatively of yourself and complicate your recovery process.
Hence, I suggest that you avoid looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses and taking your ex’s breakup and post-breakup actions to heart. Refuse to give them importance by accepting your ex for the person she is. When you do that, you’ll feel way less sad, anxious, or depressed. You won’t suffer as much because you’ll know that your ex is far from innocent and perfect and that it takes two to make and break a relationship.
Sure, sometimes, one person bears more responsibility than the other, but this typically happens when someone cheats or monkey-branches. If that happened to you, you should do your best to consider your ex a spineless cheater and remove her presence from your life.
Throw away everything that reminds you of your ex, including pictures, old conversations, letters, and gifts. Get rid of your ex’s reminders because it will help you avoid triggers. Your goal is to keep your ex out of your head as much as possible. Whether your ex cheated or simply lost interest and left, you must do what’s best for you.
And what’s best for you is to protect yourself from emotional setbacks that keep you obsessed and give your ex power over you. As long as your ex controls how you think, feel, and act, you’re not an independent person. Emotionally, you’re dependent on your ex’s mercy and recognition.
You must do your best to break free from your ex and rely on yourself for purpose and happiness.
Each dumpee has different things to work on, but all dumpees must leave the dumper alone. They can do this by learning that they won’t change their ex’s mind with willpower alone and that the best thing they can do for their ex and themselves is to implement the indefinite no contact rule.
No contact doesn’t instantly heal their hearts and leave the past behind, but it does help them detach from their ex and love themselves more. It reduces their urge to do something to hold on to their ex and impress their ex.
If you want to know how to get over your ex-girlfriend, especially her sleeping with someone else, the best advice I can give you is to shut out any new information about her. This means avoiding social media stalking/updates, mutual friends’ gossip, staying in touch with her, or anything that keeps you emotionally tied to her.
You can get over her and her new partner the quickest by keeping her out of sight. If you don’t see them, you’ll think about their new happy lives less frequently and recover much quicker. I know this doesn’t seem like much, especially if you’re already following the rules of no contact down to a t, but remember that nothing is more damaging than new information about her new life.
Information about their connection, intimacy, and happiness makes you compare yourself to their positive traits and success and want it for yourself. The more you expose yourself to details about her life, the harder it becomes to think positively and heal. Since you’re still recovering from the breakup and need space and time to rebuild your self-esteem and purpose, there’s no way you won’t get hurt.
Their post-breakup actions are bound to make you think you’re missing out on something great and that you’ll never be happy again.
Rest assured that you will be happy again. You’ll get your ex and her new sexual relationship out of your head as soon as you wean off your ex and see that she doesn’t deserve a second of your time. It’s hard to say when this will happen because it depends on your coping mechanism and post-breakup actions, but most dumpees stop obsessing over their ex half a year or so after the breakup.
They still think about their ex and miss him or her, but they don’t spend every minute of their waking moment wondering what their ex thinks of them and how to get back together. 6 months in, most dumpees function independently and understand that they feel much better than they used to.
To get over their ex, they must keep their ex physically away from them long enough to emotionally disconnect and regain their passion for life.
In today’s article, we share some tips on how to get over your ex-girlfriend sleeping with someone else.
How to get over your ex-girlfriend sleeping with someone else?
Getting over your ex sleeping with someone else can seem like a daunting task. It can bring out intrusive thoughts and emotions you didn’t know existed. The more attached you are, the more your ex’s intimate experience with another person disturbs you. If you’re highly attached and have low self-esteem on top of that, you’re bound to suffer immensely.
Your ex’s new sexual relationship will trigger your insecurities and gut-wrenching anxiety. Everything you do and everywhere you go, you’ll think about your ex and wonder if you could have done things differently. The ghost of your ex will haunt you and tempt you to do desperate things.
So do your best to keep your ex out of sight and mind. Start no contact, delete or unfollow your ex on social media, ask friends not to update you on your ex, avoid places and things that remind you of your ex, and stay as busy as possible. Your post-breakup life should be much different than the life you lived with your ex. If it’s different, you’ll create new memories and find internal peace and happiness.
It won’t happen overnight but focus on yourself long enough and you’ll take your rose-tinted glasses off and see that you can live a happy and successful life without your ex.
The key to getting over your ex-girlfriend sleeping with someone else is to focus on the present and future rather than the past. You can do this by taking it one day at a time and trying to enjoy your life. As difficult as it may be, try to see the positives in your breakup and stay grateful for the things you still have.
This can be your family, friends, hobbies, good health, work, or anything that gives your life meaning.
Your ex was never meant to be the sole reason for your existence. She was supposed to bring joy and add value to your life. Now that she’s gone and with someone else, you must find ways to rely on yourself for the benefits and happiness she provided. If you can do that, I guarantee that you’ll value her and need her way less than you do right now.
Talk to someone if you need to. Friends, family, coworkers, and schoolmates can provide comfort and perspective. Provided they listen and empathize with your situation, of course. If you feel that they’re not listening or supporting you in the way you need, consider seeking professional help. A professional may be able to answer your questions, analyze your past and your ex’s behavior, and give healthy and realistic advice.
I recommend counseling to most dumpees. If it’s not available to you or it’s too expensive, you can always journal your thoughts and feelings. Most dumpees benefit immensely from putting down how they feel, why they feel that way, and how they can improve their feelings and situation in general.
I suggest you give journaling a try for a few days before you decide it’s not for you.
Sometimes it’s difficult if not impossible not to think about your ex-girlfriend sleeping with another person. Intrusive thoughts can occur during stressful situations at work or even after an unwanted ex-dream. Whenever you find yourself thinking about your ex being in a sexual relationship with another person, remind yourself that your ex has detached from you and doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
She doesn’t understand or care how she makes you feel and merely wants what’s best for her.
Her new partner isn’t necessarily better than you. He’s just someone she met, connected with, and decided to be with. Her decisions are not related to you and the things you did or didn’t do for her, but rather the things she wants for herself.
Whether she started dating immediately after the breakup or needed some time to find someone else, it’s no secret that she wants the benefits of a new relationship. Most dumpers don’t wait long before getting involved with someone new. In fact, most dumpees don’t wait at all. They go with the first person who shows interest in them, validates them, distracts them, and stops them from feeling bad for leaving their ex.
They start a romantic or strictly sexual relationship because they think they deserve to be happy and live life on their terms.
Dumpers can be exceptionally selfish after the breakup. They want what’s best for them even if it’s bad for their ex. They think their ex is solely responsible for his or her happiness and that they don’t owe their ex anything. Not even an explanation and a break from dating.
In their mind, they compromised and cared too much when they were still with their ex.
If your ex is sleeping with someone new shortly after the breakup, you need to understand that your ex likely had this person lined up. She emotionally or even physically cheated on you before leaving you for this person. That is the case for many if not most dumpers who jump into a new relationship just a few weeks after the breakup.
They try to hide it at first because they don’t want their ex or anyone else to know. But then they stop caring and reveal their ex for others to see.
Whether your ex cheated or found someone new after breaking up with you, she’s clearly not concerned about how it affects you. And since she’s not concerned, you must let her go. Work on accepting the breakup and accepting the possibility that she might not want you back. She might date this person or someone else.
The sooner you accept that she feels relieved from the breakup and excited to date other people, the sooner you can expect to process feelings of rejection and being replaced.
I encourage you to make a list of your ex’s cons and behaviors, including her sleeping with someone else and not caring about your feelings. Write them on a piece of paper and read them whenever you miss her and think she’s the ideal partner for you. It will remind you that she’s not who you made her out to be and that you deserve better.
Don’t try to compete with her and look for someone to date/sleep with. The breakup isn’t a competition. It’s a set of powerful lessons that will aid you in your personal life.
Besides, you’re not ready for a new romantic connection. As long as you’re constantly thinking about your ex and feeling hurt, any attempt to connect with someone new will end in disappointment. It will make you rebound and trigger immense anxiety or depression.
With that said, here are my tips on how to get over your ex-girlfriend sleeping with someone else.
You won’t care about your ex forever
You won’t always feel how you feel today. When you process the rejection and redevelop the ability to love yourself, you’ll improve your self-love and realize that you suddenly don’t care about who your ex sleeps with. You won’t feel anxious and worthless because you’ll see yourself and your ex differently.
Instead of thinking you lost out on someone great, you’ll see your ex for the person she is and stop taking her decisions personally. If you take no contact seriously and work on yourself, you might even be glad that she broke up with you and left you alone to date someone new.
That’s because you’ll boost your self-esteem and improve parts of your life that need improving.
So rest assured that you’ll soon recover and that when you do, none of this will matter. You’ll have more important things to do and people to talk to than to obsess over your ex and her new partner.
As you focus on your own growth, healing, and goals, you’ll create new experiences and connections that are far more fulfilling than your relationship with your ex. The quality of your life will, therefore, improve, making you wonder why you wasted so much of your energy and time on a person from the past.
I know it’s hard to imagine yourself not thinking and caring about your ex-girlfriend months from now, but that’s because you still feel insecure, hurt, and attached. Once these feelings fade, you’ll be able to view your ex from a more rational perspective and consider the past a valuable experience rather than something you must re-experience.
It takes time to get over a person you love with all your heart, so don’t expect any quick results. But if you follow the tips in this article and do some serious work, you’ll learn that your ex’s decisions and actions don’t define you. They say more about her than they do about you. Especially if she went out of her way to punish you and hurt you.
In that case, you should avoid fighting fire with fire and remember the times when she treated you poorly, denied you closure, and made you feel worthless. Remembering her behavior will help you avoid blaming yourself and allow you to get over her quicker.
All in all, your problem is temporary. Once you find an acceptable solution, your ex will fade from your thoughts for good and change how you perceive yourself and your relationships.
Did you learn how to get over your ex-girlfriend sleeping with someone else? Do you have any other things you’re trying to figure out? Let us know in the comments below.
Lastly, if you’re looking for breakup analysis or help with your ex-girlfriend, reach out to us via our 1-on-1 coaching program. Together, we’ll go through your breakup and devise a proper breakup plan.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
