How To Get An Ex Back Who Lost Feelings For You?

Getting an ex back who lost feelings for you can be a lengthy and difficult procedure. It requires a lot of patience, understanding of breakup dynamics, respect for your ex’s decisions and feelings, self-control, and self-focus. You’ll have to give your ex enough space to process the difficult emotions triggered by the breakup and see you as someone who can make his or her life fulfilling.

Your ex will basically have to see your romantic worth and understand that things will never be the same without you.

If your ex doesn’t see what you bring to the table, your ex won’t be able to redevelop feelings for you no matter how badly you want him or her to. Your ex will likely continue to focus on your mistakes and shortcomings and reinforce his or her negative beliefs about you. Old and new beliefs will make your ex feel victimized and convinced that leaving you was the best thing to do.

Your job as someone who was left isn’t to force your ex to regain respect, admiration, and feelings. Your job is to let your ex go through the dumper stages of a breakup and engage in reflection while you get your life back on track. Your happiness, self-esteem, and purpose in life are an important part of the reconciliation process. They determine how your ex perceives you when life gives your ex lemons and forces him or her to seek comfort in a familiar person (an ex).

If your ex reaches out or sees you in public and notices you’re in tons of pain, desperate to get back together, your ex won’t consider you an equal – someone to rely on for his or her problems. Your ex might just use you for company, sex, or validation and make you crazier for commitment. You’ll feel used and unworthy of romantic relationships.

So if you want to know how to get an ex back who lost feelings, start by learning more about breakups. When you know what your ex needs, wants, and is capable of emotionally, you’ll know that you shouldn’t attempt to “win” your ex back with communication, deception, or effort in general.

You shouldn’t do anything that directly attempts to make your ex think differently about you and go back on his or her decision to leave. Any attempts to change your ex’s beliefs and opinions will be met with resistance and might even backfire on you.

If you’re lucky, your ex will patiently tell you to stop trying to change his or her mind. And if you’re not so lucky, your ex will get angry or cold, call you names, and admit that he or she is dating someone new already That will cause you uncontrollable anxiety and a loss of hope.

A loss of feelings may be common amongst dumpers, but it’s a serious issue. It’s not something you should try to fix alone by trying to make your ex laugh and see you’re still the person he or she fell in love with. The person you used to be and the person you are now are two different people. At least according to your ex. Your ex likes to believe that you’ve changed for the worse or shown who you really are and that he or she deserves better.

By thinking the relationship took a turn for the worse, your ex can justify his or her abandonment and the pain he or she has caused you. Your ex doesn’t have to think of himself or herself as a quitter, but rather as someone who did what was necessary to improve his or her happiness and self-love.

At the moment, your ex has different priorities in life. And those priorities don’t include you. They probably include your ex’s friends and family, work, hobbies, ambitions, or perhaps even someone else. You have no choice but to respect your ex and the decisions he or she has made. As long as your ex wants different things in life, you must give your ex time to look for happiness in different places and with different people.

I know how difficult it is to do that as you don’t want your ex to disconnect from you more than he or she already has and create a tight bond with someone else. Seeing your ex happy when you’re miserable would make your separation anxiety skyrocket and your self-esteem nose-dive. It’d hurt so bad, you’d fall deep into depression and lose your sense of direction.

Despite having no control over your ex’s thoughts, feelings, and actions, you must let your ex do what he or she wants. Don’t try to stop your ex from having fun and showing insecurities and pain. No matter how sorry you are and how badly you want to fix things on your own, remember that your ex chose this path and that no begging and pleading and pretending to be someone you’re not will make your ex fall back in love with you.

If you become desperate, your ex will likely lose whatever respect your ex has left for you and feel even more determined to leave the past behind.

That’s why it’s in your best interest to accept the breakup and let go of the need to control the situation. Accepting the unwanted situation rather than controlling it will increase your chances of getting back with your ex because your ex will see you have adequate self-love and the ability to let go of the person who rejected you.

Unfortunately, many dumpees don’t want to let go of control. They want to regain control by showcasing their growth and trying their best to reattract their ex. They tell themselves their ex is worth the effort and that they should apologize, befriend their ex, and talk to their ex regularly to prevent their ex from forgetting about them.

Such dumpees dislike the idea of “giving up.” In their mind, couples fight for the relationship. They don’t know that their logic only applies to couples, not ex-couples. Ex-couples failed to communicate and create a bond strong enough to avoid breaking up, and have no choice but to focus on themselves.

Today, we discuss how to get an ex back who lost feelings for you. We talk about what you must do to make a good impression on your ex and what your ex must do to notice your romantic value.

How to get an ex back who lost feelings for you?

To get an ex back who lost feelings for you, you must understand what made your ex lose feelings in the first place. Was it something you did that triggered the breakup or did your ex perhaps focus on non-relationship matters, take the relationship for granted, and become resentful?

Many dumpees blame themselves even though their ex stopped prioritizing the relationship and putting his or her best foot forward. They consider themselves responsible for the breakup and refuse to hold their ex accountable for losing feelings and leaving. They’re in too much pain to understand that their ex’s poor relationship mentality contributed to the end of the relationship more than their shortcomings.

Sure, they made mistakes too (they weren’t perfect), but they didn’t obsess over the things that weren’t working and allowed themselves to detach. They valued the relationship more than their ex did, and as a result, stayed emotionally invested and committed.

Dumpees tend to forget that each person is responsible for the thoughts he thinks and the feelings she feels. If thoughts and feelings aren’t healthy, the couple is at risk of breaking up. They don’t have a reason to stay together when someone lacks gratitude and romantic feelings.

So whatever you do, don’t blame yourself for your ex’s problems and loss of feelings. Your ex lost feelings because that’s what your ex’s mind told him or her to do. It instructed your ex to give up on the relationship and seek fulfillment elsewhere.

Getting an ex back after he or she has lost feelings won’t be easy. Not only will you have to leave your ex alone for a while, but you’ll also have to let your ex rediscover your romantic worth through some failure. Failure will likely have to hurt your ex and bring out difficult emotions and reminders of the past.

In other words, your ex will have to run into big problems and see that life was easier when he or she was with you. This realization could make your ex think fondly of you and enable your ex to redevelop romantic feelings.

There’s no guarantee that your ex will want you back because of some personal problem, but if a problem is big enough (let’s say your ex gets dumped), your ex could reflect on his or her decisions and realize you were a good romantic partner.

Therefore, your best ex-back approach isn’t to pester your ex with texts and calls and try to make your ex feel something for you but to distance yourself from your ex and let your ex learn the lessons he or she needs to learn. People only learn when they want to learn or feel forced to learn. In your ex’s case, it could be when your ex encounters difficulties he or she lacks the tools and willpower to resolve without you.

If you think your ex will one day wake up and fall back in love with you, you don’t understand what compels exes to come back. You think dumpers come back simply because they feel connected to their ex and miss their ex. You mustn’t forget that they need a reason to feel nostalgic and regretful. That reason must take them by surprise and show them they aren’t happy and won’t be happy unless they make some big changes in their life.

They could make big changes by getting back with their ex and clinging to him or her for relationship benefits such as emotional support and validation. If breakups happen for a reason, then so do reconciliations. Something unpleasant or difficult shocks dumpers and forces them to look for alternative healing methods and sources of happiness.

If they have nothing or no one to rely on, they may consider going back to their exes who are their backup plans.

So if you want to know how to get an ex back who lost feelings for you, remember that you won’t get your ex back by trying really hard. You’ll get your ex back by remaining patient, improving yourself, giving your ex space, and waiting for your ex to reach out and express pain, regret, and respect.

When that happens, reconciliation will be quick and painless because it will be initiated by your ex’s renewed interest in you. As badly as you want to make the job easier for your ex, remember that your ex doesn’t want you to make it easy. Secretly, your ex wants it to be a challenge so that your ex feels like investing in you and earning your trust and love.

If you give your ex love on a silver platter, especially when your ex doesn’t want it, you’ll show your ex you want him or her significantly more than he or she wants you. This will shift the balance of power, overwhelm your ex, and perhaps even repulse him or her. That’s why it’s extremely important to avoid jumping the gun and revealing your feelings and expectations.

Things must develop naturally otherwise your ex could reject you on the spot and look for someone else to confide in and be with when life gets tough.

With that said, here are 8 tips on how to get an ex back who lost feelings for you.

Accept your powerlessness and work on things you can control

Try not to dedicate your life to making your ex redevelop feelings. As an ex who was dumped, you can’t just say some nice words or do some nice things to make your ex want to get to know you and be with you. Your ex is convinced he or she already knows who you are and has his or her guard up. Every time you try to penetrate your ex’s defenses, your ex perceives it as an attack and considers you disrespectful and desperate.

Such thoughts destroy your ex’s respect for you, which is essential for feelings to redevelop.

So accept the fact that you can’t influence your ex’s thinking by force and instead, work on things you can control. Focus on self-growth, friends, hobbies, and recovery. These things add value to your life and make you look more interesting, independent, and attractive. Again, your ex won’t want you back just because you live a busy and fulfilling life. But your ex might come back when your ex encounters problems and compares the present to the past.

That’s when your ex might realize that he or she needs you back to be happy.

I can’t predict the future, but I do know that dumpers need a really good incentive to return. Normally, they come back when they hit a dead end and see no other way to feel in control of their life. If they return because of jealousy, guilt, or something short-lasting and unimportant, they soon leave again. They have no reason to stay with someone who doesn’t make them feel validated and eager to try their best.

For now, you need to accept that you lost power and that you can’t control your ex’s feelings. You have to accept the breakup and live on your own. But if your ex discovers your worth and comes back, power will come back to you. Not only will you feel stronger and in control of the situation, but you’ll also wonder if your ex even deserves another chance.

Right now, you’re convinced that your ex is the best person you could be with, especially if your ex left you after you’ve said or done something shouldn’t have. But when you rebuild your self-esteem, you’ll realize that your ex failed or refused to deal with relationship issues that could have been fixed. Your respect for your ex will decrease, and so will your feelings for him or her.

So work on things you can improve and control and let your ex come to you. Soon, you’ll fall back in love with yourself and know if you and your ex are meant to be.

Did you learn how to get an ex back who lost feelings for you? Do you have any tips of your own to share? Share them below the post.

However, if you want to discuss your ex’s loss of feelings with us, click here to check out our 1-on-1 coaching services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.