How Could My Ex Fall In Love With Someone Else So Quickly?

If your ex fell in love with someone else very quickly and you’re baffled by your ex’s ability to move on super fast, the first thing you need to know is that your ex didn’t fall out of love with you yesterday. It took your ex ages to detach and stop loving you.

You just didn’t notice it because your ex didn’t tell you about it. Your ex kept his or her feelings or the lack thereof hidden from you and prevented you from doubting his or her love and devotion.

Because your ex hid things from you, you remained oblivious to your ex’s loss of romantic interest and suffered immensely when the breakup ensued.

Unlike your ex who was over you the moment the breakup happened, you weren’t ready to accept the breakup. You had too much love for your ex to just go your separate ways. You wanted to fix things.

Just like you fixed relationship issues when you were together, you wanted to fix issues after the breakup.

The only problem was that you couldn’t fix your ex’s problems yourself. You lacked the power to influence your ex in ways that could have made your ex want to work on the relationship.

The problem wasn’t your lack of commitment, effort, or love. It was your ex’s poor perception of you and the effort your ex wasn’t willing to put into the relationship. Frankly put, there was no more relationship to work on. Your ex had no more energy left to invest in you.

That’s why your ex appeared so immune to your reasoning and remained determined to leave.

As if the breakup wasn’t painful enough, you soon learned that your ex fell in love with someone else. You learned that your ex hadn’t been thinking about you in positive/nostalgic ways and that your ex didn’t want you back.

This realization shattered your broken heart into tiny pieces and probably caused you to slip further into depression.

Finding out that the person you love is in love with someone else was beyond shocking and painful. It was gut-wrenching because it destroyed your hope for reconciliation and made you wonder if the relationship even meant anything to your ex.

Deep inside, you knew that someone who cares about you romantically or even as a person wouldn’t have started seeing someone else this quickly. He or she would have taken some time to help you feel better and figure out what went wrong.

So now that your biggest fears have come true and you’re trying to figure out why your ex fell in love with someone else so quickly, know that your ex detached and gave up on the relationship a long time ago. He or she lost the will to fight and then got emotionally and sexually involved with another person.

In contrast to you, your ex didn’t have to process the separation before he or she could start a relationship with someone else. Your ex had already done that. He or she had processed the separation before the separation even happened.

This explains why your ex didn’t get affected negatively and showed the desire to help you deal with the breakup. Your ex stopped caring romantically when he or she became certain the relationship couldn’t be fixed anymore.

Of course, the relationship could have been fixed. But your ex needed to acknowledge that, express his/her problems, and diligently work on those problems.

Because your ex didn’t, he or she watched the relationship deteriorate and allowed himself or herself to become even more certain that the relationship had no future.

People detach from their partner and fall in love with someone else very easily. Oftentimes, it happens in the opposite order; they meet someone else, get close to that person, and ultimately, fall out of love with their partner.

When they fall out of love, they leave their partner and branch to the person they developed a crush on.

In self-defense, they then try to justify their cheating behavior and appease their guilt by thinking or saying things like:

• I wasn’t happy (neither of us was)
• the relationship wasn’t working
• we would have broken up no matter what
• we weren’t compatible
• I lost feelings weeks before I met the new person
• the new person just helped me realize I had no love for my partner

Cheating and monkey-branching are very common behaviors these days. People with poor relationship mentality, moral values, and commitment, unfortunately, get tempted by others’ superficial traits and jump head-first into a relationship with them.

Some regret it afterward and some don’t. Those who regret it apologize for hurting their partner (not necessarily for cheating) and/or return to their partner.

It depends on their morals and what they want out of their relationship.

This probably doesn’t help much, but if your ex’s monkey-branching shocked you and made you feel abandoned and unworthy, know that this happens to lots of people. Dumpers think they deserve to be happy and that they needn’t wait for their ex to get over them before they start dating.

In their mind, it’s perfectly acceptable to find a replacement partner – someone who makes them feel loved and accepted. That’s why they often post their new partner on social media and appear to be very happy with him or her.

If your ex is flaunting his or her new relationship, it’s no secret that your ex isn’t very empathetic. He or she doesn’t have much or any guilt, shame, or fear of hurting you and others seeing that he or she is dating someone else already.

Your ex is currently happy about the way things ended and is thinking only about his or her own happiness.

In today’s article, we shed some light on how your ex could fall in love with someone else so quickly.

How could my ex fall in love with someone else so quickly?

Many dumpees are desperate to know how their ex was able to move on so quickly and if their ex ever even loved them. Dumpees feel rejected and unwanted, so they begin to question their ex’s loyalty and love. They want to know if their ex faked their relationship and used them for various benefits.

Although I can’t give a general answer, I can tell you that long-term relationships (6+ months) are for the most part legit. There is love in them otherwise people would give up on them (quicker).

They’d run out of the stimulus to bond and would find their partner annoying, needy, clingy, repulsive, and a waste of effort and time.

Short-term relationships on the other hand don’t have much if any love. Couples may bond and get along really well for a few months, but that’s not love. In relationships, it’s called infatuation—and there are significant differences between the two.

Infatuation feels empowering and is often confused with love. But sadly, it’s anything but.

Infatuation is nothing but a short-lived feeling of adoration and a desire to be adored. Love hormones enhance it as they provide it with pleasant feelings and make it seem as if the relationship has a purpose.

In reality, infatuation is a sign of good chemistry (a good connection). It doesn’t indicate that a couple is a great match maturity and commitment-wise. Not when it happens early on.

It normally takes a few months for couples to get used to each other and run out of desire to keep controlling themselves and pretending to be flawless.

Love, on the other hand, is much more than a mixture of powerful emotions. Most of the time, love is unemotional and doesn’t depend on emotions). It’s rational as it’s about the thoughts, perceptions, and beliefs you direct toward your partner.

If your opinion of your partner is positive, you get rewarded with positive emotions and feel complete. And if your opinion is under par, you feel that your partner doesn’t understand you or care about you and that your relationship doesn’t emotionally fulfill you.

This can lead to a loss of interest and a breakup.

I’m telling you this so you understand that your ex’s perception of you changed over time and that his or her love disappeared shortly after.

Your ex had enough time to restore the love and feel that the relationship is headed in the right direction. Your ex could have talked to you, confided in a mentor, journaled his or her negative thoughts and feelings, or signed up for therapy.

If your ex didn’t do any of that or if your ex gave up on trying to mend the relationship, you can’t blame yourself for it. You couldn’t do anything to stop your ex from focusing on your negative traits and falling out of love.

Your job indeed entailed loving your partner and talking about problems that hindered the relationship, but if your partner didn’t tell you about the problems, you weren’t responsible for looking for them. Your partner needed to be self-aware and emotionally developed enough to detect them and bring them up.

By talking about them, your ex could have fixed them before they grew and got out of control.

Since your ex didn’t care enough to improve the relationship, your ex soon fell out of love and opened his or her heart to someone else. This happened very quickly because when your ex branded you as someone who made him or her unhappy, your ex wanted to stop feeling unhappy right away.

The quickest way for your ex to do that was to dump you and meet someone else.

So if you’re wondering how could your ex fall in love with someone else so quickly, bear in mind that it didn’t happen quickly. Your ex detached from you and reattached to someone else gradually and in stages.

Your ex:

• associated negativity with you
• failed or refused to do anything about it
• began to dislike you/resent you
• blamed you
• decided to leave
• met someone else
• got to know that person superficially
• developed expectations
• and fell in love

To you, it looked like it happened fast, but your ex had lots of time to form an emotional connection with someone else. You must remember your ex is the dumper (someone who fell out of love with you) and that your ex was ready for a new connection the moment he or she ended things with you.

Don’t compare your ex’s situation to yours. Your ex didn’t rebound. Most dumpers don’t because they’re over their ex. What dumpers have problems with is their conscience. They fear that they behaved immorally and that their reckless behavior has hurt their ex and turned them into bad people.

With that said, here’s how your ex could fall in love with someone else so quickly.

If your ex fell in love with someone else quickly, this didn’t happen because you were a bad partner. You didn’t force your ex to want to be with someone else/different. Your ex just convinced himself or herself that the relationship has ended and that it was morally acceptable to move on to someone else and be happy.

Your ex basically didn’t care how the monkey-branching would affect you. Your interpretations and feelings no longer mattered to your ex. Your ex found someone he or she valued more than you. The new person made your ex feel extremely validated whereas you reminded your ex of the bad times and triggered his or her negative emotions.

Mind you that your ex is now tired from the end of the relationship and that your ex doesn’t want to be reminded of you. He or she wants to be surrounded by people who make him or her feel positive emotions. Positive emotions let your ex move forward whereas the bad ones keep your ex stuck in the past.

And your ex doesn’t want to stay stuck in the past. The reason he or she broke up with you was to leave the uncomfortable past behind and disassociate from it. By focusing on the new partner, your ex was able to skip the need to reflect and improve the mistakes he or she made throughout the relationship.

The new person essentially allowed your ex to distract from problems and focus only on positive thoughts and emotions.

Exes who move on with someone else don’t care about you

It’s obvious that your ex doesn’t have romantic feelings for you. If your ex had feelings, your ex wouldn’t be dating other people. Your ex would be talking to you and obsessively trying to get back together with you.

That’s what regretful dumpers do.

They express or show affection/regret and try to atone for their “mistakes.” A breakup is more than just a mistake. It’s a premeditated decision dumpers make when they conclude their ex can’t make them happy.

Sadly, your ex doesn’t just not care about you romantically. Your ex also doesn’t care about your mental and emotional health. Your ex is dating someone else, which means that he or she is prioritizing other relationships and happiness over your anxiety.

Your ex is having fun while you’re dealing with one of the most challenging predicaments of your life. If you think about that, you’ll realize that your ex doesn’t have the morals and kindness necessary for putting dating on hold while you’re suffering.

Your ex probably didn’t want to hurt you directly, but he or she did it anyway (indirectly by appearing happy and showing you how easily replaceable you were).

To me, that doesn’t sound like someone who cares. A caring person would wait until his or her ex has accepted the breakup and at least partially moved on.

So remember that your ex fell in love with someone else very quickly because your ex didn’t worry about your self-esteem and healing. Your ex was infatuated and could only do what felt right. And what felt right was to get involved with another person.

After the breakup, dumpees often stalk their ex. And because they stalk, they see what their ex is doing and who he or she is dating. Their pain may be self-inflicted as they check up on their ex voluntarily, but that doesn’t mean they’re at fault.

The person at fault is the dumper who appears to be over them and happier than ever.

I’m not saying dumpers are bad people. They just don’t have a lot of sympathy for their ex. Especially not when they’re with someone else.

They tend to feel guilty months after starting a relationship with someone else as they often need months of time to stop feeling elated and realize they made their ex’s healing many times harder than it needed to be.

That’s when they may reach out and see how their ex is doing.

You should remember that a monkey-branching ex is selfish and that you shouldn’t be around the brancher as long as he or she doesn’t care about you and can’t help you. You should be staying away from your ex physically and emotionally and making sure that your self-esteem is as healthy as it can be.

Are you still wondering how your ex could fall in love with someone else so quickly? Why do you think your ex found someone new so quickly? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

And lastly, if you want to talk about your ex’s love for someone else with us, click here to sign up for coaching.