Ex Watches My Stories: What Does It Mean?

When your ex watches your stories, your first reaction must be that your ex is curious about you and has feelings for you. Your gut feeling tells you that your ex is finally coming to his or her senses and that you may get another shot at the relationship when the time is right.

Your ex wouldn’t care about your post-breakup life if your ex didn’t have romantic feelings and second thoughts, right?

Well, although that is sometimes the case, it usually isn’t. Many dumpers continue watching their ex’s stories for weeks or months after the breakup. Sometimes they stop for a few days or weeks and then they keep watching every day like they never took a break.

They do this because they get busy or because they want some emotional space (stop being reminded of their ex and feeling unwanted emotions). Either way, they watch their ex’s stories because they want to know what their ex is doing and how he or she is handling the post-breakup blues.

If the dumpee is handling the breakup well and moving forward confidently, the dumper can move on without much guilt and self-blame. The dumper doesn’t have to worry about the dumpee and can forgive himself or herself for hurting the dumpee and making the dumpee’s life difficult.

So if your ex watches your stories, know that it usually means your ex has respect for you and wants you to be healthy. He or she is also curious about you and feels somewhat guilty and responsible for hurting you. This doesn’t mean that your ex will reach out and try to help you get closure, but that your ex might keep an eye on you to see if you’re healing and moving on.

Eventually, your ex will likely stop feeling the need to check up on you and may unfollow you, block you, or check up on you occasionally – maybe even from fake accounts. A lot can change throughout the course of the breakup, so don’t expect your ex to remain constant and predictable at all times.

Even something as simple as your ex meeting someone else or going on vacation for a couple of weeks could cause your ex to stop watching your stories and liking your posts. That’s because it could break your ex’s patterns and create new ones.

Bear in mind that what your ex does depends on the things happening around him/her, his or her interest (perception of you), emotional well-being, and the kind of emotions your ex feels.

The moment these things change, you could see your ex do the opposite of what you’re used to. Instead of watching your stories, your ex could stay offline or post like crazy. There’s no telling what your ex will do as you don’t know what kind of people and situations your ex will encounter.

In this post, we’ll explain why dumpers watch Instagram stories but don’t follow you, why they watch stories but don’t like your posts, why they watch your stories every day, and why they stop watching them after a while.

My ex still watches my stories

If your ex still watches your Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat stories, it’s evident that your ex doesn’t despise you and feel trapped by you. Your ex has some form of respect for you and currently wants to keep you around as a story buddy. Watching your stories helps your ex understand where you’re at emotionally and what you’re doing with all your spare time.

Mind you that your ex isn’t checking up on you to get back with you, but because your ex is curious or concerned about your emotional health. Your ex is used to knowing what you’re up to, so your ex is merely doing what your ex has been doing when you were still together.

Your ex is trying to keep an eye on you.

You’d think that someone who left you would unfollow you or delete you from existence, but mature dumpers don’t do that. Dumpers who are in control of their emotions oftentimes stay friends or online friends with their exes, watch their exes’ stories, and like their exes’ posts. Many dumpers don’t want to delete their exes right away because they think that deleting their exes would hurt their exes and consequently, hurt them too.

It would make them feel bad for running away and burning all bridges while the people they left are in pain and don’t know which way is up and down.

That’s why they often wait months before they finally unfollow or delete their exes from social media. They need that long to get emotional distance, disconnect from their exes, and stop caring about their exes.

So if your ex watches your stories, keep in mind that your ex wants to stay in your life to some (although small) degree. Your ex is happy just by watching your stories because that way, your ex gets to control when he or she watches your stories, how many stories your ex watches, and what to make of them.

Your ex gets to learn everything he or she wants without interacting with you and risking being interrogated and feeling uncomfortable.

The following picture is a recap of why your ex watches all your stories.

Ex watches my Instagram stories but doesn’t follow me

This is one of the most common social media concerns I get, so it’s only fair that I address it. The reason why dumpers watch their exes’ stories without following them is that they want to keep their distance. They know their exes can see they’re watching their stories, but they’re okay with it because they don’t talk and aren’t friends.

They’re closer to strangers than they are to friends, so they feel safer and more comfortable watching their exes’ stories even though they aren’t friends. Deep inside, they feel that their ex won’t message them about it as it would be strange to tell someone you’ve noticed him or her watching your stories.

Yes, it’s also strange that your ex has to manually search your name to see what you’re up to, but your ex would rather search for you than keep seeing your stories notifications and new posts popping up on his or her wall. Your ex doesn’t want surprises like that.

Especially not when surprises remind your ex of his or her decisions and the way those decisions affected your ex. Always remember that your ex wants to be in charge of the things he or she sees about you and how those things make your ex feel. If your ex can’t feel in charge, your ex will likely push you away to keep you at a safe distance.

Just as some dumpers partially delete/block their dumpees and keep their exes away at a distance that makes them comfortable, so too do some dumpers watch their exes’ stories but don’t follow them. Such dumpers like having the freedom of dictating the pace of the relationship and how much of their ex they’re willing to let into their life.

Ex watches my stories but doesn’t like my posts

If your ex watches your stories but doesn’t like your posts, the situation is very similar to the previous one. Your ex wants to create additional distance between the two of you. And your ex is doing that by refusing to interact with the pictures or videos you post online.

If your ex were to like the things you post, your ex would indirectly send you a message that he or she keeps watching you and likes what you’re doing. That could, in turn, make you feel hopeful and give you the green light to reach out to your ex and communicate with your ex as if you never broke up.

And that’s something your dumper ex would rather avoid.

If you compare watching stories to liking posts, you’ll notice that the latter approach is much more direct and personal as it interacts with you and tells you that your ex likes or supports what you’re doing. Of course, liking your posts wouldn’t be as direct as reaching out to you, but it would make you feel like your ex wants to tell you something or wants something from you.

Consequently, you would think about your ex even more and feel hopeful/anxious about it.

So if your ex watches your stories but doesn’t like your posts, bear in mind that your ex wants to observe you from a distance. Distance allows your ex to control how much freedom your ex has, what kind of thoughts your ex thinks, and how those thoughts make your ex feel.

It’s’ all about remaining in control and setting a healthy pace.

My ex doesn’t watch my stories anymore

If your ex stopped watching your stories, your ex stopped feeling guilty, responsible, or curious about you. Your ex worked through breakup emotions, stopped feeling connected with you, and thought it was okay to stop watching what you do.

Your ex probably watched your stories because your ex cared about you and wanted to make sure you were alright. But after seeing that you were okay, your ex stopped worrying about you and focused on himself or herself and other people. Your ex decided it was time to focus on his or her own needs and let you move on without his or her surveillance.

If you want your ex back, this doesn’t mean that your ex can’t come back in the future. It can feel like you’ve lost your ex for good, but stories, posts, and social media behavior, in general, don’t mean anything. All they mean is that your ex felt you were going to be fine and that it was okay for him or her to stop checking up on you.

Don’t overthink things. Many dumpers (not all) stop checking their exes’ stories when they fall out of touch with their exes and find something better to do.

And something better can be:

• falling in love with someone else
• getting busy at work
• worrying about real-life problems
• picking up some new hobbies
• and spending time with their friends and loved ones

Your ex won’t always think, feel, and act the way you’re used to. If your ex gets distracted or infatuated with someone else, your ex will likely stop thinking about you and watch other people’s stories instead.

Don’t blame yourself when/if that happens. Whether your ex watches your stories doesn’t even change anything in terms of your ex coming back. Your ex’s social media activity just makes you more obsessed with your ex and hopeful that he or she will come back.

You should try to avoid checking if your ex is watching your stories. If you can’t do that, stop posting stories for a while. And if that doesn’t work, consider making your profile private or deactivating it for a while. Doing so will ease your obsession with your ex and help you leave your ex in the past.

Does your ex watch your stories and confuse you? Post your thoughts and feelings in the comments below.

And if your situation is different and you’d like to talk about your ex’s social media behavior with us, click here to learn about our coaching sessions.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.