7 Encouraging Breakup Reminders For All Dumpees

Here are 7 quick tips to remember when you’re struggling with the breakup.

I hope they help you deal with the difficulties of your breakup.

1)You are not responsible for your ex’s thoughts and actions

If your ex mistreats you and acts inappropriately after the breakup, he or she lacks a lot of self-control and self-awareness.

Your ex essentially lacks the ability to control his or her impulsiveness and instead merely reacts to his or her surroundings.

It’s super important to understand that when your ex acts on autopilot, he or she expects you to take the blame for his or her negative emotions as if you’re the one who causes and controls them.

How could your ex not hold you accountable when your ex doesn’t even know why he or she feels angry or annoyed?

As you know, your ex is the only person responsible for his or her emotions and the words and actions that occur because of them.

This means that there truly is no excuse for your ex’s bad post-breakup treatment.

None at all.

Your ex has a moral obligation to ensure a safe, healthy, and pain-free breakup for both of you.

As a good person, he or she “should” go easy on you and offer help despite him or her not wanting to.

It’s the mature thing to do.

However, if your ex isn’t doing that and is acting recklessly by ignoring, blocking, shouting, or playing mind games with you, you must understand something important.

You need to know that your ex is showing you the worst side of him or her—and that you’re not responsible for what he or she does.

All the pent-up emotions after the breakup are symbols of your ex’s real personality.

They are not a “one-time meltdown” that can’t or won’t happen again.

It certainly can and will when the same circumstances trouble your ex’s mind once again.

So don’t think that you had it coming or that your ex is the real victim. You’ll only be hurting yourself if you do.

2)It’s not your job to change your ex’s opinion of you

Your ex’s mindset can’t be reasoned with right after the breakup.

Your ex is responsible for the way he or she thinks about you—so you shouldn’t try to impose your own beliefs on your ex.

It won’t work even if you try. And that’s because your ex doesn’t value you as an equal anymore.

He or she doesn’t care about what you think and how his or her opinion may or may not be wrong. Your ex just isn’t concerned about such “trivial” things anymore.

It’s a matter of the past for your ex.

That’s why you don’t have to convince your ex to give you another chance when all your ex wants is a moment of silence to get some space from you.

Your ex basically doesn’t want to hear from you until he or she has had the time to think about your personality and perceive you in a better light.

So instead of annoying your ex and asking for another chance, let your ex think of you the way he or she wants to (even if it’s bad).

And remember.

Just how your opinion doesn’t matter to your ex, your ex’s lack of care doesn’t matter to you.

He or she doesn’t have the right to tell you who you are and what you’re capable of.

3)You are amazing and worthy of love

Breakups happen for a reason. But just because you received the short end of the stick, doesn’t mean that you’re worth any less than your ex makes you think.

You need to continuously remind yourself that you’re worthy of love.

You matter as much as your ex and just about anyone you know and don’t know.

So don’t think that you’ll never love and be loved again because you unquestionably will.

It’s only a matter of time before you get over your breakup, find love within yourself, and ultimately—with someone else.

Most dumpees struggle with the breakup, and it truly sucks for them to be left behind when they still have feelings for their romantic partner.

Some get dumped over text, email, Facebook—and others get cheated on and monkey-branched, lied to, ghosted, and disrespected in numerous ways.

But no matter how your relationship ended and what breakup excuse your ex used, know that you didn’t deserve to feel the way that you do.

As a dumpee who continued to love your ex until the very end, you deserve love and respect.

You deserve recognition, acceptance, care, and all the help that you can get. And you deserve it from your ex.

However, if your ex didn’t make the breakup easy on you, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of attention and care—because you are.

It merely means that your ex doesn’t have it in him or her to think about your emotional well-being because of his or her powerful post-breakup state.

He or she instead does what he or she wants—even if it’s something as selfish as partying like an animal.

So if that’s what your ex is doing, thank him or her for leaving you alone and rely on yourself, your friends, and your family for support.

They will give you more love than your ex ever could.

4)The breakup isn’t your divine punishment

Whether you are religious, believe in astrological signs, or a firm believer in karma, the breakup isn’t your divine punishment for being the person you are.

It’s merely a result of two personalities’ thoughts and behavioral patterns that refused to cooperate with one another.

It’s also a lesson and a guide to help you grow into a better person.

So don’t think that you’re fully responsible for the breakup as it’s never just one person’s fault.

Even toxic relationships for example, oftentimes have two people making the same mistakes over and over again.

And that’s why you shouldn’t think that you need to be punished directly by your ex.

Your ex is not in charge of your emotional well-being and doesn’t have the right to make you suffer.

He or she can, of course, make things worse by hurting you. But it doesn’t give your ex the right to do so.

5)The breakup was not preventable

You probably shouldn’t have told your ex that her brownies taste like socks or that his gaming addiction is a waste of time.

Such direct, judgmental and destructive disagreeing opinions are not very useful in relationships.

And neither is your ex’s belief system.

If your ex broke up with you because of the way you acted or reacted to him or her, know that it was sooner or later going to happen anyway.

Because of the way your relationship functioned, the separation was on its way no matter what you did at the time.

If you could have somehow avoided it on the day of the breakup, you would definitely have found yourself in the same situation a week or two later.

You likely already know that people are like robots.

They often follow the same pattern of destructiveness before it becomes too late for them to fix their flaws and shortcomings.

They simply do the same things, talk the same way, express themselves in a certain style, and make similar, repetitive mistakes.

The reason for that is that a lot of people lack the aforementioned self-awareness which is a developed ability to perceive their attitude from a third perspective.

They lack the capacity to see themselves through somebody else’s eyes and determine how their behavior affects others.

And because of that, they tend not to strive toward self-improvement, but rather toward repetition—which prohibits self-growth.

That said, your breakup wasn’t preventable since your ex’s positive impression of you was on a decline for quite some time prior to the breakup.

And when the last argument or disagreement occurred, it was merely the last push your ex was looking for to initiate the breakup.

6)Breakups are breakups, not relationships

Relationships are based on love, romance, and respect, while breakups are quite the opposite—hence they cannot be grouped together.

Although things such as begging and pleading may work on a receptive person who loves you, it will not work during or after the breakup on a detached person who’s tried his or her best to make your relationship work.

The most your insecure behavior will do is anger or smother your ex further and cause more long-term damage than necessary.

So try not to confuse the time when you need to work hard to make your relationship work with the time when you have to leave your ex to himself or herself.

It’s so important to understand that post-breakup mistakes have the opposite of the desired effect on your ex.

They push your ex away instead of bringing your ex closer.

7)You are in charge of your happiness

Always keep in mind that you’re responsible for your own emotional and physical well-being and happiness.

The emotions you feel in your heart and the thoughts racing through your mind are your responsibility.

They are what make you into the person you are, and nobody has the right to alter them against your will.

So never, ever give someone like your ex the power to change your thoughts and hurt you with his or her lack of care, words, actions, or inactions.

Don’t do it no matter how important your ex is to you or how much you want him or her back.

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling with your breakup, repeat to yourself, “She’s not worth it. I won’t let her hurt me.”

And if you’re a girl and you’re struggling with your breakup, repeat to yourself, “He’s not worth it. I won’t let him hurt me.”

No matter what gender you associate yourself with, you need to take control of your mind and prohibit your ex from hurting you.

You can start by distancing yourself from your ex and prioritizing yourself and your well-being.

Are you struggling with your breakup? Are you in pain due to your ex’s words or actions? Comment below this post.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.