Will We Get Back Together In The Future?

It’s nearly impossible to determine whether you and your ex will get back together in the future. Getting back together is outside your control, as it requires the dumper’s post-breakup plans to fail and cause immense suffering.

Only suffering, followed by reflection, can cause a detached ex-partner to stop running away from problems, grow within, and come back to invest in a romantic relationship.

Some dumpers come back without pain and much thinking, but such dumpers typically don’t stay for long. They leave as soon as they realize they don’t feel strongly about their partner and that they were happier when they were broken up.

Your best bet at having a successful, long-lasting relationship is to wait for your ex to encounter thought-provoking issues. Issues could show your ex that he or she isn’t content with the breakup and capable of living a joyful life without you.

I know you want to prove this to your ex yourself, but if you talk to your ex and try to present yourself in a favorable light, your ex won’t see what he or she is missing out on. On the contrary, your ex will get relationship benefits for free and ignore your time and effort.

Your ex won’t appreciate you because your ex won’t need you and be receptive to you. And your ex won’t be receptive because your ex lacks the incentive to change his or her views and perceptions of you.

Don’t try to make your ex like or love you ahead of time. Something has to happen to your ex first to change his or her feelings. I’m talking about something unpredictable, painful, and difficult to process and live with.

When that happens, you might hear from your ex and see a more aware and caring side to your ex. Your ex might even apologize for leaving and hurting you, and perhaps even try to be friends or more than that.

What your ex wants and does depends on his or her problems and ways of solving those problems. If your ex’s coping mechanisms are good, your ex might not confide in you. He or she might internalize it or talk to people he or she is close with.

However, if your ex lacks the tools to process difficulties, chances are your ex will remember you, become nostalgic, and crave your validation and love. Your ex might want you back and value you more due to his or her failures and unwanted feelings.

You may think you have nothing to lose by talking to your ex after the breakup, but that’s not true. First of all, you have your dignity to lose. By contacting your ex on your terms, you’ll get or feel rejected and need longer to recover.

And secondly, you’ll show you still desire your ex and want your ex to take your pain away. Your ex won’t respect you, nor find you attractive when you refuse to accept the breakup, give space, and let go.

Like it or not, dumpers respect strength. They like their ex more when he or she respects him/herself and gives them a break. They also find their ex romantically worthy when they get in trouble and need a shoulder to lean on.

So try not to ruin your perception of yourself and your ex’s perception of you by trying to change the course of the breakup before it’s capable of changing. If you act prematurely, you’ll only make matters worse and risk losing your ex permanently.

Work on letting go of control instead of trying to change things by force. Acceptance will set you free and make your ex think positively about you. It may not guarantee reconciliation, but neither will desperation and inability to get out of denial.

I encourage you to give your ex space and time, also known as no contact. Not only will no contact help your ex experience life without you, but it will also give you the time and distance needed to heal and regain emotional clarity.

You might detach and realize that you were attached rather than in love with your ex. That’s when you’ll stop blaming yourself, idolizing your ex, craving external validation from your ex, and wondering if you’ll get back together in the future.

The future is hard to predict. Even if your relationship was great for the most part and your ex went back to all of his or her exes, there’s no guarantee that your ex will come back. Your ex might just deal with issues as they come and consider you incompatible with him or her.

That’s why asking yourself questions that no one can truly answer isn’t very beneficial. They don’t make things worse, but they don’t help either. It’s better to find out what your ex needs to experience to shift his or her perspective, miss you romantically, and put in the effort to win your trust and love back.

Use this time to learn more about breakup dynamics and how your behavior (something you can control) affects your ex’s thoughts and feelings. Your behavior is extremely important. If you don’t handle the breakup maturely with self-respect, you risk pushing your ex further away and delaying your own healing.

So don’t waste your time trying to impress your ex with your feelings, accomplishments, plans, or compliments. Instead, consider the relationship over and give your ex the space he or she asked for during or after the breakup.

Space will demand respect, whereas the lack of it will probably overwhelm, scare, or anger your ex.

I’m not saying you should give up on getting back together. All I’m saying is to change your ex-back strategy from doing something to win your ex back to leaving the possibility of reconciliation in your ex’s hands. Let fate unfold naturally while you focus on healing and becoming the best version of yourself.

While you focus on yourself, remember that your ex needs to come back on his or her own. Any attempt to change your ex’s mindset will likely backfire and push your ex further away.

In this post, we explore the key factors that can determine whether you’ll get back together in the future.

Will we get back together in the future?

Whether you get back together doesn’t depend solely on what you do and how you present yourself. Although your actions are important, they’re not nearly as important as how your ex handles life and copes with issues.

If your ex handles difficulties with ease, you won’t get back together even if you do everything right. Your ex will keep moving forward and enjoying life because your ex will lack the most important incentive needed for reflection.

That incentive is pain. Without pain and time in introspection, your ex won’t feel helpless and won’t need you to improve his or her life. Your ex will feel happy, free, and in control, and be glad the breakup happened.

As tough as it is, the truth is that exes don’t come back when they’re happy. They come back when they’ve exhausted all options and convinced themselves they were the happiest when they were with their ex.

Such a realization forces them to go back to their ex – their backup plan.

You may not want to be your ex’s backup option, but that’s what reconciliations are. Dumpers come back when their plans fail and teach them some valuable lessons. Usually, they learn that what they had wasn’t so bad, but that they couldn’t appreciate it at the time.  

Reconciliations are extremely hard to predict when the dumper still feels angry/suffocated and needs time for him/herself. Things tend to get easier when the dumper starts experiencing issues and reaching out.

His or her renewed interest usually means that life didn’t go as planned and that he or she may want you back if things don’t improve quickly. Your ex may soon hit an all-time low and decide to recommit to you.

You need to be careful when that happens so you don’t instantly forgive your ex and get taken for granted again. Forgiveness is okay, but making it too easy for your ex to be with you after the abandonment could prevent your ex from taking accountability and treating you better.

Having said that, here are 6 factors that may indicate you’ll get back together in the future.

My ex said we might get back together in the future

Many dumpers say this. They tell their ex what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear. By doing so, they make their ex believe they still have feelings and that they might get back together in the future.

“We might get back together in the future” is one of the most common phrases dumpers say to hope-seeking dumpees. They don’t want to hurt them further, so they tell them they still love them and/or might want to get back together in the future.

As a result, they empower their exes with false hope and stop their healing—all to ease their guilty conscience.

So don’t take your ex’s “Maybe in the future” literally. When it comes to dumpers, “maybe” means definitely not. They say it to avoid confrontation and responsibility. Deep inside, they know they hurt their ex badly and that they owe their ex explanations and (occasional) emotional support.

But because they feel pressured and fear their ex’s reaction, they say and promise things they have no intention of following through on. We could say that they put themselves first and do what they must to avoid dealing with their ex’s post-breakup needs, feelings, and expectations.

That makes them look selfish and uncaring.

If your ex mentioned the possibility of getting back together someday, pay attention to what your ex does rather than says. Your ex’s actions are way more important than the things that come out of his or her mouth.

All words do is deceive you, give you hope, and complicate your healing.

Hence, it’s in your best interest to think about what your ex wants in the moment rather than the future. Your ex doesn’t know what he or she will want months from now. But it’s clear that your ex’s feelings won’t magically return.

They’ll stay as they are unless your ex hits a snag and does some serious thinking.

So whatever you do, don’t get your hopes up and think your ex will definitely come back. Think of your ex as someone who lacked the courage to face your emotional reaction. If you do that, you’ll lose hope, let go of your ex, and feel better much quicker.

How can I avoid thinking that we’ll get back together in the future?

You can get rid of false hope by following the rules of no contact. This means ceasing all contact with your ex and, in doing so, stopping yourself from overanalyzing the things your ex said or did during and after the breakup.

As someone who was dumped, there’s no need to talk to an ex. Talking may feel good, but that’s because it gives you hope. To recover, you must stop talking to your ex and get rid of hope.

You must also stop reading hopeful posts and listening to YouTubers who tell you your ex will definitely come back if you do certain things. They don’t know if your ex will come back, so you shouldn’t let them encourage you to do things that reject and hurt you.

The hard truth may be difficult to hear, but it will help you in the long run. Soon, you’ll see it’s essential for rebuilding yourself and becoming the best version of yourself.

Furthermore, make sure not to romanticize the past. You may feel down and tempted to dwell on the good moments, but don’t forget that there were difficult times too. By acknowledging those times, you may see the relationship more clearly and find it easier to let go.

Lastly, talk about your emotions and stay busy. You’ll process the breakup quicker if you open up to someone you trust when you’re struggling and keep your mind off your ex when you’re doing fine.

It will take time to completely recover, so don’t set any deadlines for yourself. Deadlines only create pressure and lead to disappointment. Life becomes much better when you allow yourself to grieve and heal at your own pace.

All in all, you’ll slowly forget your ex’s promises and give up on the idea of getting back with your ex. You just need to remember that healing is a journey, not a race and that your happiness won’t always depend on your ex. Once you detach, you’ll rebuild your self-esteem and find joy in better people and things.

Are you still thinking about whether you’ll get back together with your ex? What do you think it takes for an ex to return? Comment below and let us know.

However, if you’re looking for support after your breakup, reach out to us. We’ll take a look at your situation and find a solution that fits your needs.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.